I Heard You Are an Alien Chapter 27

To prevent the police uncle from arresting her for charges of “hara.s.sing an innocent man” and being locked up, Yi Ti had to stop and keep a good distance from the other.

“Excuse me……”

“Don't come over!”

“I'm not……I just want to ask……”

“Leave me alone!”

Yi Ti: “……” What did she do to him?

Just then, a sudden flash of realization hit her on the head.

“Ah!”

“Lu Kong? Are you Lu Kong?”

The young man froze, a complex look of joy and grief mixed with fear appearing on his face: “……you remember me?”

Yi Ti: “……” How could she not remember?

They were high school cla.s.smates and though they're in different cla.s.ses, they're still in the same school. However, this person wrote a love letter to her that year. It was also the first love letter she ever received in her life, and then……there's no after that.

She was too young then and under her brother's “coaxing”, she gave him the love letter. When they met again later, he became what he was now. Whenever he saw her, he couldn't help yelling and screaming while trying his best to escape, so she didn't dare approach. Soon after, he transferred schools. In fact, she was really curious, what did her brother do to this guy that year.

“How could you be here?” Lu Kong felt that he should have listened to A'Jiang just now and leave decisively. Otherwise, he wouldn't meet the biggest nightmare in his life! TAT

“This is my store.” Yi Ti pointed to the flower shop behind her, “How could you be here?” And wearing that strange outfit……

“He, hehe, I'm just pa.s.sing by.” Lu Kong felt the need to name this area into a “danger zone”. He hurriedly got up from the ground and took a few steps back, “En, just pa.s.sing by, don't care about me.” Then ran decisively.

Yi Ti: “……”

After a few steps, he stopped again.

For no other reason than because the A'Jiang sitting on his shoulder said something like this——

“She smells like that little monster.”

Yi Ti was speechless as she suddenly saw someone walking backward, then gave her a somewhat ugly smile: “Yi Ti, I have to ask you something.”

“Sure.” She nodded, pointing to the store, “Want to go in and sit down?”

“G-go in?” Lu Kong's legs softened.

“Relax, my brother is not here.”

“Really?” The youth's voice completely changed to excitement.

Yi Ti: “……” So, brother, what heavy psychological shadow did you leave behind?

Then, after Yi Ti promised that “Yi Shao wouldn't know about this”, Lu Kong wiped the sweat from his forehead and incidentally patted the dust on his a.s.s before following Yi Ti into the shop in a decent manner.

“Want tea? Or something else?”

“Tea will do.”

After sitting down, he looked around for a moment. He turned to look at the cat squatting on the table again, but the latter shook his head, signaling that there's no smell of that little monster in the shop.

“You have a good environment here.”

“I like it here too.” Yi Ti came over with two cups of green tea, putting it on the table.

Lu Kong looked down at the tea and happily said: “Are you rich?” After talking, he sniffed deeply then nodded his head, “Good tea, it's a pity that processing it is illegal.”

Yi Ti: “……” Hey, was it really okay to hit the host in the face?

But after just now, this man had been equated to “crazy” in her mind, so no matter what he did, she could accept it calmly.

Thinking so, Yi Ti looked at the tea in her hand. This was left by her master, so she didn't understand what it was. She just drank it from time to time on the principle of “not wasting anything”. Now it seemed that she's being wasteful.

“Right, I heard others say that you're now a teacher.” Lu Kong asked curiously, “Why open a flower shop?”

“Maybe it's because I don't have much talent for being a teacher.” Yi Ti spread her hands then asked a question, “You, suddenly transferred that time, where did you go study afterward?”

“Don't mention it,” Speaking of this, Lu Kong showed a gloomy face, “I was……my grandpa forcibly took me to the high school near my hometown to let me inherit the family business while studying.”

“Inherit the family business?”

“Yep.” The youth pointed at his robe, “Right,” He pulled out a business card and handed it to Yi Ti, “This is for you. You or your friends can find me if you need it, I'll give you 20% off.”

Yi Ti took the business card with both hands. Cold sweat came out with just a glance, because of the unreliable t.i.tles——Taoist orthodox disciple, descendant of the 37th generation head of Lingshan School  (in compet.i.tion for employment), Top Ten Outstanding Young People in Cultivation  (candidate)……

Looking at the scope of business——weddings and funerals, catching ghosts, feng shui and fortune-telling based on facial features, antique appraisal, secret bodyguard, ma.s.sage master, dating expert, divorce advocate, impersonating fathers, help sign test papers, help with winter and summer homework……

“This range is……really broad.” She could hardly see the end.

“Of course,” Lu Kong proudly raised his thumb, aiming at himself, “Professional and trustworthy.”

“……haha.” Except for this, she really didn't know what to say.

“Remember to introduce me to some customers.” Lu Kong drank a mouthful of tea again, then poured out bitter complaints, “You don't know, but Chinese people nowadays had a lack of faith which is the root of all evil, ah! How good is religion, how much spiritual support can you get, ah! The key is that it'll increase my business! Pity me cultivating in the mountains. I originally felt that with my own talent, even if I'm not the world's richest man, I'll at least become the general manager or the CEO, marry Ms. Perfect, and reach the pinnacle of life……”

“Gu——”

Lu Kong covered his stomach with both hands, his expression instantly embarra.s.sed.

The cat sitting at the table turned his head, obviously can't bear to look at someone's shameful appearance.

Yi Ti tried to pretend not to hear.

“Gu——”

Lu Kong pounded his stomach twice, hating iron for not becoming steel then continued: “Who knew that fortune tellers would be kicked to the overpa.s.s…… I only had one bowl of instant noodles last night. I haven't eaten breakfast this morning……” TAT

Yi Ti couldn't help it: “I'll invite you to eat.” How did this man, who was considered the school prince that year, reach this sad point? Really, time is a butcher's knife (time marches on, relentless and unforgiving), ah.

“Really?”

“Hm.” She nodded, “What would you like to eat?”

“Yi Ti!” The youth burst into tears with excitement, holding her small hands, “I think I'm falling in love with you again! You are a good person!”

If she felt ashamed at hearing the first half, then after hearing the second sentence, Yi Ti turned black. Why give her a nice card again? She felt the corners of her mouth twitch, then silently spit out two words: “Yi Shao.”

“Ahhhhh, I'm wrong, I won't dare!” My head!

Yi Ti took out the phone, asking while dialing: “What do you want to eat? Let me help you.” Breakfast shops near schools were usually open until noon or even evening, so even if it's 10 o'clock right now, there would still be things to sell.

“Cough, I'm quite a big eater, is that okay?”

“It's all right.”

“Then I want a basket of steamed dumplings, ten meat buns, ten fritters, and two cups of soy milk.”

“……” Yi Ti's eyes twitched, squeezing out words in a ghost-like voice, “Do you want noodles?”

“Ah, that? Then give me a bowl of shredded pork noodles, add more onions and make it not spicy.”

The cat on the table simply laid down, covering his face with both paws, not wanting to look at his contractor anymore——too shameful! Sure enough, it's better to abandon him, right? !

“Right, what will your cat eat?” Yi Ti asked again.

“There's his portion in the order just now,” Lu Kong took the cat on the table into his arms, stroked twice, and his expression instantly softened, “We are good brothers, enjoying blessings and enduring misfortune together.”

“Is it.” Yi Ti looked at his expression which unconsciously changed the embarra.s.sing mood to a relieved one, “I remember this store also sells delicious dried fish, would you like some?”

“Two please.” Lu Kong stretched out his fingers, making a “two” gesture with a bright smile, “I want to eat it too.”

“……”

Then, this unexpected meeting between Yi Ti and an old cla.s.smate unconsciously became an invitation to eat. This left her in awe as she found it a bit interesting.

She had to say, Lu Kong really didn't lie to her. He seemed to be hungry for a long time since he gobbled up the food. But, while he was eating noodles and fiercely moving his chopsticks, he quickly grabbed a steamed dumpling, broke it apart, and gave the little meat inside to his little friend. The buns belong to himself though…… this kind of strange scene exuded a slightly warm taste in Yi Ti's eyes.

After about half an hour.

Lu Kong hugged his stomach and sat down on the chair with satisfaction. He stretched out his legs and sighed in intoxication: “So happy……” The cat lying on his legs did the same thing, its four legs spread out. People couldn't help but laugh at this scene.

“Aren't you exaggerating?” Yi Ti filled a gla.s.s with hot water and jokingly said, “Come, drink some water to remove the oil.”

“I don't want to.” Lu Kong patted his belly, “I don't know when I'll be able to eat next time.”

Yi Ti went silent then said: “Aren't you……”

“That's right.” Lu Kong said with a helpless expression, “It's hard to do business this year.”

“Isn't your business very wide?”

The young man shook his head and sighed: “There's too much compet.i.tion, ah! For example, regarding the weddings and funerals as well as Feng Shui, many customers would rather believe the old crooks rather than the talented me.”

Yi Ti: “……” At least he had self-confidence, right?

“The secret bodyguard actually needed a relevant professional certificate. The fake certificate I bought for 300 yuan was actually evaluated as too low!”

Yi Ti: “……” This guy completely missed the point?

“When I applied as a ma.s.seur, someone always kicked me. Once there was a big man…… cough, I won't mention this.”

Yi Ti: “……” Cough, in fact, you can mention this.

“The relations.h.i.+p between men and women are too complicated these days, so I haven't succeeded in giving dating advice or divorcing someone. In the end, I can only make money from students.” Lu Kong sighed, “But the money from students this year is not easy to get! Ever since the teacher asked me 『The father of the three children in our cla.s.s is you, why are the last names different? 』, I was never trusted again by the majority of students and friends.”

Yi Ti almost sprayed water, but considering that this didn't seem to be polite, she tried to comfort him: “At least you can do homework for primary students?”

“Don't mention it.” It's okay when it's not said, but when Lu Kong talked about it, he was embarra.s.sed, “Now the homework of primary school students is really terrible! Tell me if this makes sense——a foot minus shoes and socks plus lawn is equal to what?”

Yi Ti: “……is this a math problem?”

“Language.”

“Uh……”

“To have one's feet firmly planted on the ground (idiom)!”

“……”

“Here's another one, dissect a frog and stop at two-thirds!”

“……is this another language question?” It's a little too scary, isn't it?

“To start but not finish (idiom)!”

“Do you want another one?”

“Forget it……” Yi Ti was helpless, what kind of pitfalls are elementary school students falling to now?

“You see, the worst thing is, I racked my brains to finish the homework, but the kid actually said,『You did the homework too slowly so I bought ice cream with the money.』 In the end, he only gave me 10 yuan. I just glared at him, but three or four adults ran over with a kitchen knife and desperately tried to stab me, thinking that I bullied their son. The problem is that the one being bullied is me!”

“……”

“That kid is also very cunning and actually opened a job rental service for 50 cents a day which is much cheaper than mine. Since then, no one has patronized me.”

Lu Kong said up to here, almost leaving tears of sadness.

Yi Ti endured and endured. She finally couldn't hold back, reached out and patted his shoulder gently: “You……my condolences……”

“……” TAT