54-40 or Fight Part 29
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"It was not that decided me."
"You could not believe it was _I_ who sent you that accursed shoe which belonged to another woman."
"He said it came from you. Where did _you_ get it, then?"
Now, as readily may be seen, I was obliged again to hesitate. There were good reasons to keep my lips sealed. I flushed. The red of confusion which came to my cheek was matched by that of indignation in her own. I could not tell her, and she could not understand, that my work for Mr.
Calhoun with that other woman was work for America, and so as sacred and as secret as my own love for her. Innocent, I still seemed guilty.
"So, then, you do not say? I do not ask you."
"I do not deny it."
"You do not care to tell me where you got it."
"No," said I; "I will not tell you where I got it."
"Why?"
"Because that would involve another woman."
"_Involve another woman?_ Do you think, then, that on this one day of her life, a girl likes to think of her--her lover--as involved with any other woman? Ah, you made me begin to think. I could not help the chill that came on my heart. Marry you?--I could not! I never could, now."
"Yet you had decided--you had told me--it was agreed--"
"I had decided on facts as I thought they were. Other facts came before you arrived. Sir, you do me a very great compliment."
"But you loved me once," I said ba.n.a.lly.
"I do not consider it fair to mention that now."
"I never loved that other woman. I had never seen her more than once.
You do not know her."
"Ah, is that it? Perhaps I could tell you something of one Helena von Ritz. Is it not so?"
"Yes, that was the property of Helena von Ritz," I told her, looking her fairly in the eye.
"Kind of you, indeed, to involve me, as you say, with a lady of her precedents!"
Now her color was up full, and her words came crisply. Had I had adequate knowledge of women, I could have urged her on then, and brought on a full-fledged quarrel. Strategically, that must have been a far happier condition than mere indifference on her part. But I did not know; and my accursed love of fairness blinded me.
"I hardly think any one is quite just to that lady," said I slowly.
"Except Mr. Nicholas Trist! A beautiful and accomplished lady, I doubt not, in his mind."
"Yes, all of that, I doubt not."
"And quite kind with her little gifts."
"Elisabeth, I can not well explain all that to you. I can not, on my honor."
"Do not!" she cried, putting out her hand as though in alarm. "Do not invoke your honor!" She looked at me again. I have never seen a look like hers. She had been calm, cold, and again indignant, all in a moment's time. That expression which now showed on her face was one yet worse for me.
Still I would not accept my dismissal, but went on stubbornly: "But may I not see your father and have my chance again? I _can not_ let it go this way. It is the ruin of my life."
But now she was advancing, dropping down a step at a time, and her face was turned straight ahead. The pink of her gown was matched by the pink of her cheeks. I saw the little working of the white throat wherein some sobs seemed stifling. And so she went away and left me.
CHAPTER XXIII
SUCCESS IN SILK
As things are, I think women are generally better creatures than men.--_S.T. Coleridge_.
It was a part of my duties, when in Was.h.i.+ngton, to a.s.sist my chief in his personal and official correspondence, which necessarily was very heavy. This work we customarily began about nine of the morning. On the following day I was on hand earlier than usual. I was done with Was.h.i.+ngton now, done with everything, eager only to be off on the far trails once more. But I almost forgot my own griefs when I saw my chief.
When I found him, already astir in his office, his face was strangely wan and thin, his hands bloodless. Over him hung an air of utter weariness; yet, shame to my own despair, energy showed in all his actions. Resolution was written on his face. He greeted me with a smile which strangely lighted his grim face.
"We have good news of some kind this morning, sir?" I inquired.
In answer, he motioned me to a doc.u.ment which lay open upon his table.
It was familiar enough to me. I glanced at the bottom. There were _two_ signatures!
"Texas agrees!" I exclaimed. "_The Dona Lucrezia has won Van Zandt's signature!_"
I looked at him. His own eyes were swimming wet! This, then, was that man of whom it is only remembered that he was a pro-slavery champion.
"It will be a great country," said he at last. "This once done, I shall feel that, after all, I have not lived wholly in vain."
"But the difficulties! Suppose Van Zandt proves traitorous to us?"
"He dare not. Texas may know that he bargained with England, but he dare not traffic with Mexico and let _that_ be known. He would not live a day."
"But perhaps the Dona Lucrezia herself might some time prove fickle."
"_She_ dare not! She never will. She will enjoy in secret her revenge on perfidious Albion, which is to say, perfidious Pakenham. Her nature is absolutely different from that of the Baroness von Ritz. The Dona Lucrezia dreams of the torch of love, not the torch of principle!"
"The public might not approve, Mr. Calhoun; but at least there _were_ advantages in this sort of aids!"
"We are obliged to find such help as we can. The public is not always able to tell which was plot and which counterplot in the accomplishment of some intricate things. The result excuses all. It was written that Texas should come to this country. Now for Oregon! It grows, this idea of democracy!"
"At least, sir, you will have done your part. Only now--"
"Only what, then?"
"We are certain to encounter opposition. The Senate may not ratify this Texas treaty."
54-40 or Fight Part 29
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54-40 or Fight Part 29 summary
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