Book of Etiquette Volume I Part 16

Any delay in acknowledging a letter of introduction is uncivil, both to the person who wrote the letter and the one being introduced. If one is invalided, a short note should be written explaining why a call cannot be made, and arranging for a meeting as early as circ.u.mstances permit.

But to wait a week or two before acknowledging a letter of introduction, and then writing to explain, is to show lack of good breeding and ignorance of the laws of good conduct.

It is a mark of courtesy to write to the person who brought about the acquaintance with a new friend by means of a letter of introduction, thanking him or her for the note that inspired the friends.h.i.+p.

MODEL LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION

A letter of introduction should be simple and to the point. It should also be friendly, cordial and explanatory. It is placed in a single envelope, unsealed, with the full name and address of the person to whom the bearer is introduced. Here are some letters that are offered merely as suggestions. Of course they may be changed and added to, to meet certain conditions:

_New Haven, Conn., March 4, 19--_

_My dear Mrs. Brown:_

_This will introduce to you Miss Rose Johnson of Camden, New Jersey, who intends staying in your charming city during December and January._

_I have known Miss Johnson for three years, and feel sure that you will find pleasure in her company._

_With warmest personal regards, I am_

_Sincerely yours,_

_Margaret F. Dowe._

_New York, N.Y., April 4, 19--_

_Dear Travers:_

_The bearer of this note, Mr. Robert Duncan, of Chicago, plans to be in your town for two months. Besides being a personal friend of mine, he is the advertising manager of the Goodfield Company in Los Angeles, and knowing as I do how interested you are in advertising, I feel that you would like to know him._

_You will find him good company everywhere, I think, for he not only talks entertainingly but he plays tennis and golf and bridge and plays them well. I hope that you will be able to help him enjoy his stay in Madison._

_With kindest regards to Mrs. Travers, I am_

_Cordially yours,_

_Bob Westely._

_Baltimore, Md., Oct. 19, 19--_

_My dear Mrs. Rowell:_

_It gives me great pleasure to present to you Mr. Raymond Gordon, the bearer of this note, with whom I have been a.s.sociated in business and socially for many years. Business takes him to Baltimore, where he is an entire stranger. I will personally appreciate any kindness you may show him during his stay there._

_Yours most sincerely,_

_Robert S. Balfour._

THE CARD OF INTRODUCTION

Very often a card of introduction, instead of a letter, is issued. The letter is preferred in the case of special friends, as it conveys a certain courtesy that the strictly formal card lacks. Yet the card is no less powerful an agent in soliciting and securing civilities for a man or woman in a strange town. Its place is in the business rather than the social world, where often it is the means of securing an interview which it would be almost impossible to get without some kind of endors.e.m.e.nt.

The card of introduction consists merely of a visiting card with the name of the person to be introduced written above that of the sender. A card so prepared should be placed in a card envelope, left unsealed, and addressed to the person to whom the introduction is to be made. The words which appear at the top of the card are written also at the extreme bottom of the envelope, either below the address or in the left-hand corner.

Here is a typical visiting card, inscribed correctly with the name and address of the medium of introduction, and bearing the correct introduction above the name:

_Introducing Miss Rose M. Roberts_ Mr. Charles Hanson Morton 28 West 18th St.

BUSINESS INTRODUCTIONS

The man who values his good name among his business a.s.sociates will not give letters of introduction indiscriminately. There are no special rules governing such letters in the business world beyond those of the social world. It is very annoying to a busy man to have to interrupt his work to make himself agreeable to all sorts and conditions of men who may come bearing missives which give them entrance. People should remember this in giving letters of introduction and should absolutely refuse unless they feel sure that something of mutual benefit may arise from the meeting. To give a letter of introduction for the same reason that one sometimes buys goods of a persistent agent--to get rid of him--is a very poor way out of the difficulty.

It is permissible to ask for a letter of introduction to a business man if the person from whom it is requested is a good friend and the person who asks for it has an excellent reason for doing so. Of course it is much better when the letter comes as a free-will offering, for there is no possibility of having to meet with a refusal. A refusal to grant a letter should not anger the person who asked for it, and the person who feels compelled to deny the request should give a courteous reason--there is usually such a reason--for doing so.

CHAPTER III

CALLS AND CALLING CUSTOMS

THE BEGINNING OF SOCIAL CALLS

The origin of the "social" call dates from the Stone Age, when the head of a family used to leave a roughly carved block of stone at the door of another, as an expression of good-will and friends.h.i.+p. The most marked development in calls and visiting is traced among the Orientals, and especially the Chinese. In China, even to-day, the social call is practically a sacred ceremony, and it is only the very lowest coolie who does not pay regular calls upon his friends and neighbors.

It is contrary to the American ideal to develop or encourage highly complicated social ceremonies, and even the most formal call in this country to-day is simply a meeting of good friends. With the rush of modern life and the mult.i.tudinous opportunities which it offers for diversion and instruction there is a tendency to neglect one's social calls. It is a great pity, for nothing is quite so precious as one's friends, and was it not Emerson who said, "Go often to the house of thy friend for weeds choke the unused path"?

WHEN CALLS ARE MADE

In the city, formal calls are made between four and six o'clock in the afternoon. Morning calls are considered informal in the city; they are made only to transact business, or by special appointment. Only a very intimate friend is privileged to call in the morning merely for social purposes.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Brown Bros.

AN ALTAR FOR A HOME WEDDING

A similar plan of decoration may be used effectively in a much less pretentious home.]

Women rarely call in the evening, unless it is a friendly informal visit. Men may make formal evening visits both in the city and country.

In the city they may call as early as eight o'clock or as late as half-past nine. It is not in good taste to call very late in the evening, especially in the country where the retiring hour is early. It is perfectly correct for a woman who is at business during the day to pay her calls during the early part of the evening.

Morning calls in the country may be made between half-past ten and one o'clock. Both men and women should observe these hours. It is only in the centers of formal and fas.h.i.+onable society, where luncheon is usually served at one o'clock that morning calls are reserved for occasions of business.

When a call is paid for the purpose of condolence, or of inquiring after a sick friend, no special hour need be observed, as the caller rarely advances beyond the threshold of the front door. Before calling on a friend in a hospital one should ascertain the hours during which visitors are allowed.