Book of Etiquette Volume I Part 25

_654 Milton Street, November 5, 19--_

_My dear Mrs. Leanders:_

_Mr. Harris and I will be delighted to dine with you and Mr.

Leanders on Thursday, November the eighth, at seven o'clock._

_With kindest regards, I am_

_Sincerely yours,_

_Mildred Travers Harris._

WHEN THE DINNER IS NOT AT HOME

It happens quite frequently that a hostess gives a dinner for her friends outside of her own home. In this case, the fact must be fully noted on the invitation. For instance:

_Mr. and Mrs. Walter Bruhn request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. John Perry Blascon's company at dinner at Shanley's on Wednesday, March the sixth at eight o'clock 41 Tompkins Place_

The acceptance and regret would be exactly the same as the forms given previously, except that the words "At Shanley's" would necessarily have to appear.

THE DAUGHTER AS HOSTESS

It is necessary for the daughter, who is hostess in her father's house, to include his name in every dinner invitation she issues. Following is a model informal invitation to dinner, issued by a young daughter-hostess:

_My dear Mrs. Curtis:_

_Father has asked me to extend an invitation to you and Mr.

Curtis to dine with us on Tuesday, April the fifth, at half-past seven o'clock. We are looking forward to your coming with a great deal of pleasure._

_Cordially yours,_

_Rose Meredith._

In acknowledging this invitation, whether it be acceptance or regret, the answer must go to the daughter, not the father. It is discourteous and rude to receive a letter or an invitation from one person, and acknowledge it to another.

POSTPONING OR CANCELING A DINNER

When it happens (and it often does!) that something unforeseen and unexpected happens to prevent one from giving the dinner for which engraved cards have been issued, the hostess must immediately dispatch, either through messenger or special delivery, short written notes canceling the engagement. The third-person formula may be used, but there must be a certain warmth in the note to avoid any semblance of indifference. And it is a mark of fine courtesy to offer the reason why the dinner has to be postponed. Here are two forms that may be used:

_Because of the severe illness of their son Mr. and Mrs. John Smith beg to cancel their dinner, arranged for Tuesday, May the fifth_

or

_Mr. and Mrs. John Smith regret that the damages done to their home by a recent fire make it necessary for them to postpone the dinner arranged for May the fifth until May the thirtieth._

INVITING A STOP-GAP

When a vacancy occurs in a dinner party at the last moment, one may call upon a friend to fill the place as a special courtesy. This is an instance when tact and discretion are important, for not everyone is broad-minded and sensible, and some people may take offense at being asked to take the place that someone else relinquished. A short cordial note should be written, explaining the situation, and frankly asking the friend to come in the place of the invited guest who cannot be present. Here, for instance, is a typical note for just such a purpose:

_41 Hemingway Place, March 14, 19--_

_My dear Mr. Cook:_

_I am going to ask a very special favor of you, and I know that you will be good enough to comply--if no other engagement stands in the way._

_Ralph Townshend, who was to have been present at a little dinner party that I am giving to-morrow evening, has just written that he has been called out of town on business. Won't you be good enough to take his place and give me more reason than ever for subscribing myself_

_Gratefully yours,_

_Janet B. Raines._

In answering this letter, Mr. Cook must either accept or decline definitely. To be courteous, he must give a reason for declining. To write merely and say that one cannot serve as a stop-gap is both impolite and inconsiderate. Either a good reason or an acceptance must be given. Here is the way the acceptance may be worded:

_1465 Emmet Road, March 16, 19--_

_My dear Mrs. Raines:_

_I'm rather glad that Ralph was called out of town, since it gives me an opportunity to be present at another of your delightful dinners. Thank you very much for the invitation._

_Yours very sincerely,_

_Ralph B. Cook._

TO BREAK A DINNER ENGAGEMENT

There is no reason to feel embarra.s.sed and unhappy because some unexpected happening prevents you from keeping a dinner engagement. A cordial note, containing a genuine and worth-while excuse for the cancellation of the engagement may be sent by messenger, or if there is time, by special delivery post, to the hostess. Here is an example of the kind of note that may be written to break a dinner engagement:

_156 South Bend, March 18, 19--_

_My dear Mrs. Christy:_

_Mr. Cross has been called to Chicago on account of the illness of his mother. We are very anxious about her, and I am sure you will understand why it is impossible for either of us to attend your dinner party next Friday. With many regrets, I am_

_Sincerely yours,_

_Florence Bartlett Pitkin._

INVITATIONS FOR LUNCHEONS

Although considerably less formal than dinner invitations, those of the luncheon follow them in wording. They are issued about ten days before the day set for the luncheon, if it is to be an elaborate, formal affair, and only in the name of the hostess, unless men are invited and the hostess' husband intends to be present. They are engraved on large square white cards, with the name of the person invited, the day and hour, written in by the hostess' own hand. The correct form follows, but it must be remembered that this form can be used only when the luncheon is an elaborate, formal occasion:

_Mrs. John Roy-Thornd.y.k.e Blake requests the pleasure of .......................