Letters of the Motor Girl Part 2

Good night, I'm twenty-three for bed.

ELSIE.

LETTER X

Now, little book, I am feeling a little too proud, I expect, for Pa is going to take us all over to London in his new air-s.h.i.+p. It's called the Margaret, and she looks like a couple of large cigars tied together. Pa made a scientific combination of steel and aluminum, which, with some secret liquid added, makes the lightest and strongest metal ever produced. The whole s.h.i.+p, with all its apparatus for a trip across the ocean, only weighs one thousand pounds and will carry six hundred pounds. We will start at nine o'clock Monday, and we expect to be in London by Wednesday eve, at ten P. M., so I will stop for a little till we are on board. I will write on board if we don't rock too much. I hope we don't go to the bottom of the sea, that's all. We are to have a wireless telegraph to let the people know how we get on. No one knows when we are to start, or where, because it got into the papers that the trip was to be made, and many would gather to see us start, but Pa says no, he wants to be far away before any one knows it, and I guess it is better so, too. Pa is calling, so I must run to see what he wishes.

4 P. M., Tuesday. My goodness, we are skimming over the top of the ocean like a large white bird. My, but this is the most beautiful trip I ever had. We are sailing about two hundred feet up above the water, Pa thinks; he hasn't asked the captain to be sure, but it is glorious. We have pa.s.sed several steamers and they saluted with all their power. We waved the Stars and Stripes to them in reply, and sent a message that we were going fine, and without any hitching. We have heard from Boston and will soon have a message from the King. A big reception is to be given to us, but I dread that, for our luggage had to go over by steamer, and although it was sent a week ahead, if it don't arrive when we do I guess we won't be much to be seen. My, how grand the sun is, and the moon and stars, when you are up above the earth some ways. The ocean is a dream of delight to look upon. Pa planned to come when the moon was full so we could see all the wonderful beauty of sea and sky. No tongue or pen could ever fully describe this journey. We have sailed along as smooth as any one could wish. Ma is delighted. She said she was just frightened to death, but felt it her duty to come if Pa went to kill himself, and Levey Cohen and I-that she Couldn't live without us, so she was willing to die too. I don't think she is bothering much about dying by the way she is laughing with Levey Cohen. I have to write now or when we land I would forget half of the fun we are having. Pa says a big crowd is waiting to meet us in London. I wonder where Pa will keep this machine when we get to London, probably it will be kept on the top of some automobile garage. Pa don't say; I bet he don't have any idea where it will be kept. We seem to be attracting a great deal of attention. Why, I don't think this is such a wonderful thing because Pa did it. Pa is a wonderful man, but when you live with such a wonderful man I guess you forget a good deal about the wonderful part till you hear other people say so. We don't eat as much up here as when we are on earth, because we are nearer heaven, and are looking up and thinking of higher things than material eating. My, how fast we go, the clouds fly by and we go right through them like everything. They seem to fly like the trees and fields in an automobile race. I don't care if we don't ever stop, or come down.

I could go on forever like this. Jimmy went over in the steamer with the luggage. Pa says we will land now in a few hours. Pa had a band made by phonographs, so we have had music, and Ma brought the pol parrot. He has heard Jimmy talk and to-day he has shouted several times what Jimmy said when his steamer went out. "Hully gee, don't git drownded." I don't think we will, but it would be an awful drop if we did bust up; however, I don't feel afraid now any more. Huray! we can see London. Pa says it's a fine sight. The stars bright and the moon like a big golden ball in the sky, and all London lighted up. They have sighted our s.h.i.+p, for I can hear their bells ringing.

Well, we are on the good earth once more. We had a fine greeting and this afternoon we will look over London a bit. We are to be presented at Court, and I don't know what all. I have seen the Shontworths. They are still here and made much of. We have our trunks and now we can go out and look and feel well groomed. Jimmy was so glad to see us safe and sound he forgot to use slang for once. Pa and Levey was pleased enough, but it didn't last, for soon he got into a fight with a London newsboy and it took a policeman to separate them. Jimmy told the English newsboy that "America was de onliest place fit to live in on earth," and naturally the English boy resented it, so it was a free fight to settle the matter. As the policeman dragged those boys apart Jimmy screamed to the top of his voice, "America ahead, by thunder!" Pa made Jimmy promise to be good else he would send him back on the next s.h.i.+p. I guess he will; he felt cheap to think he was caught in a street fight, as soon as he landed, nearly. Jimmy means all right, but he has a queer way of showing it, his fists seem to be his most familiar mode of expressing internal feelings.

Well, I have been presented to a real live King and Queen. It was rather a trying thing, after all, so different from home, but we liked it, as it's the fas.h.i.+on. We have been invited to several affairs and Pa delivered a talk before the King and Queen and the Royal House about his air s.h.i.+p. To-morrow he is to take the King and Queen out for a short sail. It seems strange, to talk about sailing through the air, but it is so, and I reckon air s.h.i.+ps will become somewhat popular; but Pa says most people will rather dangle their feet in the water in a boat than take chances in sailing in an air s.h.i.+p. It is majestic to sail through the air like a big bird, I think.

Well, here we are in Spain and we have been presented to Spain's King and Queen. Pa won't display his air s.h.i.+p here. We are to stay only ten days, then return back to London for our homeward trip. We shall stay in Liverpool some weeks, I expect, as Pa has a cousin there who is crazy about air s.h.i.+ps, so Pa will stay with them and I expect he and Pa will plan another wonder.

LETTER XI

Well, dear little book, nine busy and happy months have pa.s.sed since I have been able to find you. I have lots more stories to put down when I get time, but I will only record the one that seems to me most wonderful to-day. Pa has had the most wonderful success with his air s.h.i.+p, but I somehow cling pretty strongly to earth and my dear old darling Franklin car. She's a beauty and just as fine as ever, and I like her better every day. She is like a dear friend, the more you know their beautiful traits of character the more you love them, and that's the way with my Franklin-a royal friend, proved solid, true and loyal-what more could one ask of an automobile. Pa says Jimmy is getting on fine in his studies. He is learning to be a valued boy for Pa, and his nameless wonder. The only trouble with Jimmy is that he wants the band going all the time, and he to dance. Pa asked him how he expected to dance and motor both at the same time, but he will; he will dance and hop and keep his hands on the wheel. It's a funny sight.

Well, what I started out to say was that "Jimmy Jones" has a newspaper record. His picture was in the paper and he got dozens of them and had them all pinned up all over our private garage last Sunday week. We had an awful, awful thunder-storm and Jimmy was in the garage with Teddy, the yellow dog. Well, all of a sudden an awful flash of lightning came and the thunder was so loud that we were all most stunned. Jimmy declared it clean knocked him off his pins. A few seconds after the flash and thunder was over Jimmy noticed a ball the size of a large orange and about the same color, bobbing against the window pane, like a grampa longlegs in summer. Jimmy said it crackled and sputtered like anything, as it bobbed against the pane, like a rubber ball. When he opened the window the ball bounced into the room and floated about the room like a balloon. Jimmy grabbed the broom used to sweep the garage, and struck at it. He hit it several times, but it would bound off again, but at last the blow went home and the ball busted, and hundreds of the most beautiful stones I ever saw fell on the floor. Jimmy ran for Pa and we all went out to see the wonder-which was a wonder. A note was found written in French, saying the Ball and Jewels were from the Planet Jupiter; that the people were men very like us, only they were all golden blonds, both men and women, and that they all spoke the French language; that they had had automobiles and air s.h.i.+ps for over five thousand years, and that their best speeder was the Franklin touring car; said the roads were smooth and level, and that they were just natural; that they had been watching this world for a long time, and said we were getting on; said Jupiter had many more men than women, and would like to send some of them here, perhaps they could in 2906, also that precious stones were as thick on Jupiter as fleas are here in haying-time; that the ball of jewels sent was shot out of a lightning cannon, which they hoped would shoot far enough to reach this earth; said if it wasn't back in six months, they would know some one got it; said the jewels were the finest, but not so expensive there as here, because there they are very plentiful; said the "Man from Now" once lived in Jupiter and they kicked him out, that's how he was showing around Boston; said there was a man who spent heaps of Jupiter Globe funds and declared he was a brother to Fitzgerald here; said automobiles don't kill the people in Jupiter because they can all fly, and get out of the way; said they would make it very homelike for any Boston schoolmarms that want husbands; said there were no rum-shops up there (some people of Boston would have to get a new job that are saloon hunters); that the Golden Rule was all the religion they needed, and was signed "Weston Franklin," the maker of the noted Franklin Automobile.

When Jimmy was telling the gardener about it he said, "Hully gee, how am I to let dose guys know I got de rocks, de Governor says dey are worth a big pile of dough here and he will sell them and invest de money and I will have to study hard and be a man. Golly, does he tink I am a cow? I don't care. I wouldn't know what to do with de money, so de Governor might des as well keep it for me. I will go up to Jubator myself some day when dey gits de air s.h.i.+ps going safe. I didn't ever expect to see de one dat went ober across de pond, a few months ago, but it came down safe and all on board. Yes, I'm getting along fine on de automobile. I can run it all right but I can't keep me feet still when I hear dat band of de Governor's, though. Say, dat's a peach you bet yer boots. It's a hummer. I reckon de Franklin car is de best on de street. Now dey has it on de planet Jubator all de swells will have one here; it will be more de rage dan ever before. Miss Elsie, she says she always felt it was de best one, and she knows what's good. Yes, I will turn in now. Good night."

LETTER XII

"Jimmy" has been relating more of his troubles to the gardener. Last night it was so unusual that I will record it, as he seems to be a part of our life in a way. Pa and Levey Cohen say he is naturally a good foundation to build on-and they must know. "Say, Mr. Gardner, what you tink, de boys are calling me Mr. Jones, since de Governor sold dem rocks and got fifty thousand dollars for de lump, and I have had my picture in de Boston 'American.' Say Hearst is a pretty good man; he would be all right if he was a Republican, but d.i.c.k says he's on de wrong side of de pump in politics. Anyway he treated me white-made a very decent picture of me. It looks a sight better any day, than I does, Peg says, and she has good eyes, she has. Well, as I was saying, fancy me being called Mr.

Jones. Hully gee, it made me sick to me stomach. I wonder if de push tinks I am going to swell up and bust 'cause I've got a few dollars now?

I ain't seen it, de Governor says I'se got it, all right, but I don't feel no different than I did before, except I have de faith dat if I gets a college ice once a week I won't miss de five cents when I needs a pair of shoes, or a handkerchief. Say, mister, I notices some charge ten cents for dem college ices. I had one what cost ten cents de other week and 'tween you and me I couldn't see a might of difference in de two, except de price. d.i.c.k says I'm like de Irishman. Said all de taste I had was in me mouth. I've got on fine at de night school-de teachers say I must drop my slang, but, hully gee! I don't use any slang, much. I told de Professor to go oil his lamps, and he got mad and kept me after school. I be hanged if I notice that I use much slang. Wouldn't it bust de b.u.t.tons off your vest how perticular some folks be? Hully gee! I don't want to be mean, nor nothing, but I must have time to git my own lamps trimmed, 'cause I'se always had to b.u.mp up against it hard, ever since I was born. I would like awful well if I could run up on de silver rays of de moon to dat planet Jubator; it must be a fine place up dare.

Just tink, no rivers, and seas, to git drownded in, just deep wells, thick as peas in a pod, but no boats, or s.h.i.+ps. Hully gee! only land, land everywhere. I would feel lonesome without de oder of de Charles River here. Sometimes it smells pretty bad, but I could even stand that than no smell at all. Oh, I want to tell yer before I forgit it. I went out in de country last night with d.i.c.k, to see his granny what lives out to Salem Willows. Well, they have a little patch of land there behind the house and d.i.c.k's granny keeps a few hens, and she had some nice custards in old cups and we had a feast, let me tell you. d.i.c.k's granny keeps a goat, and a male sheep with big horns. He's an awful ugly cuss, and we saw ample proof of his ugliness. d.i.c.k went out to feed him and he broke his chain and came for d.i.c.k lickety slap bang and bunted d.i.c.k all over the yard. He tried to get up, but every time he moved the old he sheep would draw back and knock him down. He kept him there for more than an hour, I guess. Last his granny missed him and went to the door and d.i.c.k yelled for me to come out and drive the old he sheep off. I got the poker and went for Mr. Sheep. I gave him a good clip over his nose and he didn't feel like bunting any more; then I turned to d.i.c.k and said, 'b.u.t.ton, b.u.t.ton, who got the b.u.t.ton?' and d.i.c.k said, 'Well, if you had been here when I first came out you would have seen plain enough who it was.' Then we came back home and d.i.c.k says he's no friend to that he sheep any more. I don't blame him at all. That he sheep ought to have had more sense, but he didn't. Dat he sheep seemed to have a heap of respect for me after I gave him a rap over his nose. I reckon he would have called me Mr. Jones, if he could talk, with the accent on the Mr.

"The Governor told me if I wanted to get ahead I must get the bulldog grip. I told him I never seed one, and he said, 'Jimmy, didn't you ever see an old maid in the country set the bulldog on a tramp and see with what a grip the dog held on to the seat of the tramp's trousers as he tried to get over the fence?' I said I had, and he said that was what a bulldog grip means. Just get a strong, good hold and hang on. He said the Mason's grip wasn't so strong; said I ought to see a Mason ride the lodge goat. He said it was more fun to see the other fellow do it than to ride yourself."

We are planning for the Automobile Magazine Cup race. The cup is a stunner; it cost five thousand dollars, the most unique cup ever offered for a race. Pa says I can enter my Franklin Flyer as I am set on it so much. Levey Cohen says I'll win, so does Jimmy. I hope I do, then folks would have to say a girl can do some things, too, as well as boys and men.

Oct. 15, 1907. Say, but I am excited, for I have won the race. Fifteen hundred miles with not one bad mark-a perfect score for a kid is rather good, I think. I feel more pleased than I can tell. They had a plate made with brilliants that spelled "Franklin, Model G," and put on to the s.p.a.ce left for the name in the cup. It's a dandy, let me tell you that.

Jimmy Jones yelled himself sick shouting for the Franklin at the end of the tournament when the trophy was awarded. He said it took a live fish to go up stream and the Franklin car was it. I never saw a boy so crazy before. He said he would like to see the maker of the Franklin car President of the United States, but I told him I guessed he would rather turn out fast cars than to be president of anything but his own company.

There's only one President ever got rich while sitting in the Presidential chair and he ought to have been in better business, Pa says. Jimmy says we have a bully President now, and I guess that's right, anyway, Pa and Levey Cohen say so, and they know. Jimmy was telling our gardener more yarns and I will write what I can hear: "Say, mister, wouldn't de new style of trousers put a feller on de b.u.m, though? I never seed such big wide trousers. Be gosh, I believe dey are trying to git skirts on to de men. When I put me new suit on de Governor got me last week, I thought it looked mighty queer, yet I never gave it much thought till Peg got her peepers on them. She jest hollowed and she says, 'Git on to de dude, trying to be a womens; almost petticoats,'

says she, 'not yet but soon. See de crease warble when ye walks. Hully gee! Jimmy, if yese can walk and keep dat crease straight de cops will pull yese in for talking too much boose. Ye will walk like a streak of greased lightning to keep up wid ye pants, bet ye life, it will be more work for ye than for a womens to keep her hat on straight, see?' Well, I did see, and I asked de Governor to send dem to de dressmakers and git de seam took in, but de Governor said, 'Jimmy, dat's de style,' but I says, 'Scuse me, sir, but I want me pants to look like they were cut for me and not for John L. Sullivan.' Peg says all de swell guys look like a pole wid de cloth draped on to cover up dar slimness. Now what I want to know is what de fat man can do wid all dat extra cloth around his pegs.

He will look like he was sent for and didn't come at all. De tailor what made dat style must have been down East somewhere, perhaps down to Wonderland or Lynn, and got too many drinks, so he thought everyting went, even to de cloth for de trousers. I don't know whether he gits his money by de week or per. Oh, I saw dat fine actor, Mr. Edmund Breese, in de 'Lion and de Mouse.' Say, dat Breese man is a peach. He is mighty good actor, mister. I wish you would go and see him. Peg says she wishes I could make love like he can on de stage. She says she saw him at de Castle Square, Boston, and he was de handsomest lover on de stage-so de papers said, but you see I ain't it for polished manners. De Governor says I've got to watch out all de time so not to git throwed down. I am doing the best I can to stand on both me pins at once, but it must be mighty find to be really born a gentleman like Mr. Breese. He bought a paper of me several times when he was at de Park Theatre and he's a good sort, all right. Got lots of good sense in his head, and he's popular.

Oh, I say, mister, did you ever hear one of them vaudeville fellows what talks down in his boots and then yer think somebody's under the stage, or in a trunk, or something awful. I mean one of them ventriloquists.

Well, mister, I have seen 'em all from Dan Harrington to dat English chap what dey call Charlie Prince, but dey can't any of dem fellows hold a candle to Harry Kane. Kane he styles hisself on de bill at de theatre.

He does de best act wid dem dummies I ever seed. Peg says all de others are dead slow, but Kane makes his Irishman mighty mad at de n.i.g.g.e.r boy he has. Dat Irish doll boy nearly gits alive, really, mister, he is so mad at being near a n.i.g.g.e.r. Gosh, I never seed such a fight as dey gits into. Makes ye wish you could go right down on de stage and give dat black n.i.g.g.e.r a big punch in de eye, so if ye wants to see a good A1 ventriloquist see Kane. Say, you will miss me gab 'cause de Governor has given me three weeks' vacation. Me salary goes on just the same. I feel like a bank clerk or a cas.h.i.+er of a swell bank. So long, now, till Christmas, which is not yet, but soon."

I reckon I'll say good night, too, little book, for my eyes are heavy with sleep.

ELSIE.

THE END.

TESTIMONIAL

I am a pupil of the International Correspondence School of Scranton, Pa., in Complete Advertising, and am very much pleased with their course of instruction. It is plain, thorough, and meets every need of the student. I am sure it's the "Open Sesame" to a successful business life if one is in earnest and willing to study. Study is the only pa.s.sword to success. This school is a mighty ally with one when willing to work to reach the very top of the tree of knowledge, and have a part in the world of successful men and women. The prizes in life are only for those that work for them, and I am heartily in the race, and advise earnestly any one wis.h.i.+ng to gain knowledge and position, to come with us. Your highest ambition can be attained if you will only work, and the teachers of this school will show you how and aid you in your desire to better yourself, and the world, by your work.

A grateful student, ETh.e.l.lYN GARDNER, Author of "The Letters of the Motor Girl."