The Church of St. Bunco Part 7

Now such an evidence of generosity and self-sacrifice may intelligibly "surpa.s.s" the "comprehension" of any stipendary of Mrs. Eddy' paid to write such stuff as the foregoing; but Mary Baker Eddy's real bounty, generosity, self-sacrifice and benefaction, consisted in cancelling a mortgage of five thousand dollars, by which, on land thus obtained, a church costing other people two hundred and fifty thousand dollars was soon built to her glory, she keeping a Shylock grip on the land, church and the adjacent property of her functionaries, with all its appurtenances that were good for anything.

When "Mother Eddy" casts a loaf of bread upon the waters, it is always safe to look for a hundred loaves on the way back to her.

"The First Church Scientist"--the edifice erected on Mrs. Eddy's donation of land--is a handsome structure of rough granite, looking something like a small armory with a big tower. This sacred castle of "metaphysics" is situated a little on the outskirts of residential fas.h.i.+on in the Hub-City, the district thereof being the Back Bay. It is accessible to the world, when once in Boston, by "the electrics" and a short walk. As a place of scientifico-religious a.s.semblage, the building seats twelve hundred actual "scientists" in the flesh, and the sympathetic spirits of some twelve thousand other "members," absent throughout the country. On this account, some Eddyites who have never seen it regard its size as rivaling that of the earth.

The Cathedral (scientist) has much stained gla.s.s, and on nearly every window is depicted some Mary; for all _good_ Marys, particularly the Marys of the Bible, inferentially point to Mary Baker Eddy. This Mary's _Science and Health_ is exceedingly prominent in the multi-colored gla.s.s, and so gives countenance to all the representations taken from the Scriptures.

An organ is prominent--a large, harmonious present from a gentleman who thinks that somebody was cured of something by Christian Science.

The church has two pretty pulpits side by side, from one of which the Bible is read, while from the other, that ancient book is kept straight by the reading of its only true meaning from _Science and Health_.

Singing the praises of "Immortal Mind," as discovered by Mrs. Eddy, const.i.tutes a part of the services, but there is no preaching--which is just as well, perhaps, but needs a word of explanation.

Preaching used to be allowed "in Science"; but some of Mother Eddy's apostles, having just enough knowledge for their creed, yet great gifts of speech, sermonized, it is said, with such honest zeal that their eloquence was in danger of casting an unglorified shadow on the Mother herself. It must be stated, indeed, that sundry who have listened to St. Mary (scientist) affirm that her divine pen has always been much more potent than her divine tongue. And some go so far as to declare that her sermons, when she preached, were often dull to the non-elect, even if they cured every disease within ten miles of them. However these things may have been, Mrs. Eddy, early in 1895, issued the following ecclesiastical edict:[43]

"Humbly, and as I believe divinely directed, I hereby ordain that the Bible and _Science and Health_ with _Key to the Scriptures_ shall hereafter be the only pastor of the Church of Christ, Scientist, throughout our land, and in other lands."

This edict prevented Mrs. Eddy's theological subordinates from setting themselves up on "earthly pinnacles." Mother Eddy at the same time decreed this:

"No copies of my books are allowed to be written, and read from ma.n.u.script, either in private, or in public a.s.semblies, except by their author."

She included the commandment that

"The reader of _Science and Health_ with _Key to the Scriptures_, shall commence by announcing the full t.i.tle of this book, with the name of the author, and afterwards repeat at each reading its abbreviated t.i.tle."

Directions followed regarding cla.s.ses in "Christian Science"--the number of pupils each teacher might instruct, and the annual number of cla.s.ses--all to be taught "from the Christian Science text-book."

Thus "Mother" Eddy's edict of 1895, abolis.h.i.+ng pulpiteers "in Science,"

while it redounded widely to her own glory, piously amplified, also, the proceeds of her "precious volume," _Science and Health_. But to the innocent lambkins of her church, she said:

"Teaching Christian Science shall be no question of money, but of morals and uplifting the race."

So that lovely bird, the ostrich, still buries her head in the sand, but leaves out much that ornaments the landscape.

In a rounded corner of the First Church Scientist, but conspicuous from the main pa.s.sage, is a little apartment celebrated as "The Mother's Room."

There is no use of mentioning the Mother Church "in Science," without dwelling on "The Mother's Room." It is never done, especially by any "Scientist." The Church is holy, throughout; but that room is the demonstrated environment of Immortal Mind.

The entrance to "The Mother's Room" is through a white-marble arch, l.u.s.trous to behold. Over the door, cut into the marble, is the inscription, "LOVE." It is not "love of money," or "love of flattery," but just "LOVE." On the floor of the entrance we read in mosaic: "Mother's Room. The children's offering"--which signifies that Mother Eddy knows how to attract the pennies of little Scientists as well as the dollars of her larger infants.

As you enter the room, you tread on white-marble mosaic, sprayed with figs and fig-leaves, and you feel an emanation of pale green and old rose. If you know your business, you are struck with awe on being in this holy-of-holies.

On your right is a mantel of white Italian marble and gold, with an open fireplace, wherein to throw all your mortal thoughts, that they may be consumed. Opposite the mantel on your left, is a rather large painting, set back in the wall, but well lighted by electricity and divine science.

It shows the sacred chair in which Mrs. Eddy sat when she wrote _Science and Health_. The chair is empty--as typical, perhaps, of her departure from Boston when she closed her "Metaphysical College." As Mrs. Eddy has no need of a table when she writes, but can perform miracles of literature on a pad, the picture shows this phenomenon. Sheets of her ma.n.u.script are scattered on the floor, ill.u.s.trating the logical chaos which fills them.

A part of "The Mother's Room" is fenced off by a ribbon, to protect a rug made from the downy b.r.e.a.s.t.s of five hundred eider-ducks. The legend, as told by the guide, is that "no man's hand ever touched this rug." It is sacred to the Mother's immaculate foot. But it was not manufactured by the Audubon Society.

A beautiful showcase, of white and gold, ornaments the room, and in it are the white and gold editions of Mrs. Eddy's works. They are samples of what you can buy at the regular price, and are very tempting to wealthy "scientists."

The Mother's room has a gorgeous bay-window, or three windows in one, of stained gla.s.s. The Mother herself is there, searching the Scriptures, encircled by a halo from the star of Bethlehem. The Christian Science seal is emblazoned on the window, and a little girl is there, reading _Science and Health_ to an old man. The little girl must be Mary Baker and the old man, probably, is Moses or Abraham. An alabaster bee-hive must not be forgotten, which contains the names of the little busy bees "in Science"--those children who squeezed out the cash to construct the room.

As you turn and go out, you observe, on the right, an alcove, which contains a folding bed, to be pulled out into the main room in case of use; for the alcove itself is almost as small as a mind that disagrees with Mrs. Eddy.

At your left--still going out--there is a toilet-room, corresponding to the alcove, but on the other side of the arch and doorway. In practical construction, this toilet-room is very much like other small inclosures adapted to the same ends. The chief difference, here, is that all the water-pipes, faucets, and such fixtures, are plated with gold. Thus Mother Eddy's lavatory proudly reminds her of Solomon's temple at Jerusalem.

It is said that "Mother Eddy" has never slept in "The Mother's Room" but once. This one occasion, however, was quite enough to sanctify it forever.

CHAPTER X.

A MARTYR TO "SCIENCE."

"Christian Science," though its span be brief, has produced one of the most exceptional martyrs that ever lived and prospered. It is a woman, of course; for men, as a rule, have now become too "mortal-minded" for sacrificial victims.

The lady referred to is a Mrs. Josephine C. Woodbury. Boston is her habitat. She was long a follower of Rev. Mary Baker G. Eddy, and was a preacher of the gospel, _Science and Health_. She talked and prayed, she wrote and traveled, all "in Science," until she became a public personage, celebrated throughout the dominions of the Eddyites. Then at last there was "War in Heaven"--which is the t.i.tle of one of Mrs. Woodbury's books,[44] and she was excommunicated from the Mother Church Scientist of the Boston Back Bay.

Now Mrs. Woodbury is not a lady who can be excommunicated from a church without giving that church fair returns for the outlay. Mrs. Woodbury has a pen, and there is black ink on it. She has attorneys quick to exchange legal process for bank notes redeemable in gold. The lady has turned her pen against "Mother Eddy," and cast ink-spots on the "Mother's" religion, not to say her personal character. The Woodbury lawyers have been let loose upon "the Mother" to sue for ethical redress and monetary damages.[45]

Mrs. Woodbury entered "Science" very young--a fact on account of which let us excuse her, as well as we can, for ever entering it at all. She thought she was one of the "healed" in the Eddy faith, and, later, she imagined that her reading a pa.s.sage or two from _Science and Health_ s.n.a.t.c.hed one of her children from the jaws of death. Her _War in Heaven_ tells us this story, and it may do no harm to trust it is true.

Mrs. Woodbury has the reputation of never doing things by halves, but of attending to business religiously, and of attending to religion in a business way. Having once entered "Christian Science," she pursued that vocation with great metaphysical and financial success, until suddenly, on the 4th of April, 1896, came the bolt of excommunication.

It can readily be understood that conventional respectability is a necessary and profitable department of "The Eddy Church Scientist," and that so s.h.i.+fty an ecclesiastic as "Mother Eddy" can scent opprobrium from afar. Whereto applies certain "Christian-Science" history.

Soon after the excommunication of the apostle Josephine--the latter part of the same year--she was attacked at law by a Mr. Fred D. Chamberlain, in the sum of twenty-five thousand dollars, on the charge that she had alienated the affection and companions.h.i.+p of his wife. The case got into print, and being displayed under large heads in the Boston _Traveler_ of December 12th, 1896 and thereafter, a suit was inst.i.tuted against Mr.

Chamberlain and that paper for libel.[46]

It appears from the files of the _Traveler_ that its industrious editor collected a large variety of statements, letters, and interviews, for the purpose of showing his readers, that, among Mrs. Woodbury's religious accomplishments--whether it were due to suggestion, elective affinity, hypnotism, or Christian Science--she possessed a mighty gift of drawing simple souls--the rich invariably preferred--into the select congregation of her fleecy followers. Then, at two hundred dollars a follower, she was depicted as converting the sinners of other sects to "Christian Science."

It will be observed that Mrs. Woodbury seemingly dealt in "metaphysics" at cut prices, the "Mother's" regular rate for instruction being three hundred dollars, not two hundred. But, for value received from Mrs.

Woodbury's "loyal students"--she, like "the Mother," so naming her disciples--from seven to ten lessons only, according to the _Traveler_, were imparted to them. Then the course was indefinitely repeated, in accordance with the demand that could be created for the healing staples.

Here, to be sure, was something that might have greatly offended "Mother Eddy." Yet daughter Woodbury's cut prices were only colorable, not actual; for, in the frequent repet.i.tion of the same wisdom and religiosity to the same "loyal students," she must have done less work for more money than was ever done even in the Mother's college itself.

Again, if we follow newspaper files and court records in the case of the Boston _Traveler_,[47] we are told that Mrs. Woodbury had a family interest in putting on the market certain stock in a hot-air engine--a kind of "Christian Science" stock in which, if her "loyal students" took a religious flyer, their secular dealings would be sure to turn up with the right end in the air. This, perhaps, was a prime investment; but, on investigation, one "loyal student"--plaintiff Chamberlain of the suit we have touched--somehow received the impression, though doubtless through "mortal mind," that the holy engine stock had a slight smell of the Keeley motor. Unetherealized man that he was, this affliction of his base common sense was the immediate cause, he declared, of all his trouble. His pious wife was unable to bear such an affront to divinity in the person of her "teacher," St. Josephine Woodbury. So the "teacher" stuck to the wife, and the husband was left out in the cold.[48]

That Boston newspaper, the _Traveler_, in spreading the Chamberlain unpleasantness, was a.s.siduously biographical. Particulars can be curtailed. It is only necessary to say that the distinguished Mrs.

Woodbury was depicted as a self-made woman who had once been known to plain environments, but who, with preaching, healing, scientific religion and engine-stock, had become financially as well as spiritually beatified.

Finally she had reached a s.h.i.+ning abode on Commonwealth Avenue--that kind of mansion, in Boston, being the very next thing to "a mansion in the skies."

Her "loyal students," it is true, were not represented by the _Traveler_ as having been enriched in the same way. Still, if already wealthy, as most of them were said to be, what was the use of it? Might they not better come unto St. Josephine Woodbury, and cast upon her the dross and sorrow of their material acc.u.mulations?

As described in the _Traveler_ print, these "loyal students" were, for the most part, rather young people, rich in their own right, or so endeared to their parents that neither gold nor silver, if it could be given, was denied to them. Once in the woods and groves of Teacher Woodbury's "Christian Science" paradise, these charmed innocents were turned into missionaries to their families, where souls might be saved and further possessions might accrue to a blessed instructor. If the heads of these families would not turn from the wicked ways of the world and their own churches, and bring gifts to the shrine of Christian Science, then the "loyal students" were taught to shake the dust from their feet, and depart from among the unholy.

Thus were the Scriptures fulfilled "in Science." But the _Traveler_ made it to appear that such doctrine set daughter against father, son against mother, and wife against husband.

So, indeed, the doctrine was made to appear in a letter written by Saint Woodbury herself and published in the _Traveler_ over her full name.[49]