Ships That Pass in the Night Part 17

"Little Brick," he whispered--for his voice had become nothing but a whisper. "I remember all you told me. G.o.d bless you. But what a long time it does take to die."

But that was yesterday.

The lane had come to an ending at last, and Mr. Reffold lay dead.

They bore him to the little mortuary chapel. And Bernardine stayed with Mrs. Reffold, who seemed afraid to be alone. She clung to Bernardine's hand.

"No, no," she said excitedly, "you must not go! I can't bear to be alone: you must stay with me!"

She expressed no sorrow, no regret. She did not even speak his name.

She just sat nursing her beautiful face.

Once or twice Bernardine tried to slip away. This waiting about was a strain on her, and she felt that she was doing no good.

But each time Mrs. Reffold looked up and prevented her.

"No, no," she said. "I can't bear myself without you. I must have you near me. Why should you leave me?"

So Bernardine lingered. She tried to read a book which lay on the table.

She counted the lines and dots on the wall-paper. She thought about the dead man; and about the living woman. She had pitied him; but when she looked at the stricken face of his wife, Bernardine's whole heart rose up in pity for her. Remorse would come, although it might not remain long. The soul would see itself face to face for one brief moment; and then forget its own likeness.

But for the moment--what a weight of suffering, what a whole century of agony!

Bernardine grew very tender for Mrs. Reffold: she bent over the sofa, and fondled the beautiful face.

"Mrs. Reffold" . . . she whispered.

That was all she said: but it was enough.

Mrs. Reffold burst into an agony of tears.

"Oh, Miss Holme," she sobbed, "and I was not even kind to him! And now it is too late. How can I ever bear myself?"

And then it was that the soul knew its own remorse.

CHAPTER XVII.

A RETURN TO OLD PASTURES.

SHE had left him alone and neglected for whole hours when he was alive.

And now when he was dead, and it probably mattered little to him where he was laid, it was some time before she could make up her mind to leave him in the lonely little Petershof cemetery.

"It will be so dreary for him there," she said to the Doctor.

"Not so dreary as you made it for him here," thought the Doctor.

But he did not say that: he just urged her quietly to have her husband buried in Petershof; and she yielded.

So they laid him to rest in the dreary cemetery.

Bernardine went to the funeral, much against the Disagreeable Man's wish.

"You are looking like a ghost yourself," he said to her. "Come out with me into the country instead."

But she shook her head.

"Another day," she said. "And Mrs. Reffold wants me. I can't leave her alone, for she is so miserable."

The Disagreeable Man shrugged his shoulders, and went off by himself.

Mrs. Reffold clung very much to Bernardine those last days before she left Petershof. She had decided to go to Wiesbaden, where she had relations; and she invited Bernardine to go with her: it was more than that, she almost begged her. Bernardine refused.

"I have been from England nearly five months," she said, "and my money is coming to an end. I must go back and work."

"Then come away with me as my companion," Mrs. Reffold suggested. "And I will pay you a handsome salary."

Bernardine could not be persuaded.

"No," she said. "I could not earn money that way: it would not suit me.

And besides, you would not care to be a long time with me: you would soon tire of me. You think you would like to have me with you now. But I know how it would be: You would be sorry, and so should I. So let us part as we are now: you going your way, and I going mine. We live in different worlds, Mrs. Reffold. It would be as senseless for me to venture into yours, as for you to come into mine. Do you think I am unkind?"

So they parted. Mrs. Reffold had spoken no word of affection to Bernardine, but at the station, as she bent down to kiss her, she whispered:

"I know you will not think too hardly of me. Still, will you promise me? And if you are ever in trouble, and I can help you, will you write to me?"

And Bernardine promised.

When she got back to her room, she found a small packet on her table.

It contained Mr. Reffold's watch-chain. She had so often seen him playing with it. There was a little piece of paper enclosed with it, and Mr. Reffold had written on it some two months ago: "Give my watch- chain to Little Brick, if she will sacrifice a little of her pride, and accept the gift." Bernardine unfastened her watch from the black hair cord, and attached it instead to Mr. Reffold's ma.s.sive gold chain.

As she sat there fiddling with it, the idea seized her that she would be all the better for a day's outing. At first she thought she would go alone, and then she decided to ask Robert Allitsen. She learnt from Marie that he was in the dark room, and she hastened down. She knocked several times before there was any answer.

"I can't be disturbed just now," he said. "Who is it?"

"I can't shout to you," she said.

The Disagreeable Man opened the door of the dark room.

"My negatives will be spoilt," he said gruffly. Then seeing Bernardine standing there, he added:

"Why, you look as though you wanted some brandy."

"No," she said, smiling at his sudden change of manner. "I want fresh air, a sledge drive, and a day's outing. Will you come?"