The Enchanted Typewriter Part 7

"'Are you familiar with dogs?'

"'Moderately,' was the answer. 'I never got quite so intimate with one as I did with him.'

"'With whom?' asked c.o.ke.

"'Cerberus,' replied the witness.

"'Do you consider him to be one dog, two dogs or three dogs?'

"'I object!' cried Catiline, springing to his feet. 'The question is a leading one.'

"'Sustained,' said Blackstone, with a nervous glance at Apollyon, who smiled rea.s.suringly at him.

"'Ah, you say you know a dog when you see one?' asked c.o.ke.

"'Yes,' said the witness, 'perfectly.'

"'Do you know two dogs when you see them, or even three?' asked c.o.ke.

"'I do,' replied the witness.

"'And how many dogs did you see when you saw Cerberus?' asked c.o.ke, triumphantly.

"'Three, anyhow,' replied the witness, with feeling, 'though afterwards I thought there was a whole bench-show atop of me.'

"'Your witness,' said c.o.ke.

"A murmur of applause went through the court-room, at which Apollyon frowned; but his face cleared in a moment when Catiline rose up.

"'My cross-examination of this witness, your honor, will be confined to one question.' Then turning to the witness he said, blandly: 'My poor friend, if you considered Cerberus to be three dogs anyhow, why did you in your examination a moment since refer to the avalanche of caninity, of which you so affectingly speak, as him?'

"'He is a him,' said the witness.

"'But if there were three, should he not have been a them?'

"c.o.ke swore profanely beneath his breath, and the witness squirmed about in his chair, confused and broken, while both Judge Blackstone and Apollyon smiled broadly. Manifestly the point of the defence had pierced the armor of the plaintiff.

"'Your witness for re-direct,' said Catiline.

"'No thanks,' retorted c.o.ke; 'there are others,' and, motioning to his first witness to step down, he called the second dog-catcher.

"'What is your business?' asked c.o.ke, after the usual preliminary questions.

"'I'm out of business. Livin' on my damages,' said the witness.

"'What damages?' asked c.o.ke.

"'Them I got from the city for injuries did me by that there--I should say them there--dorgs, Cerberus.'

"'Them there what?' persisted c.o.ke, to emphasize the point.

"'Dorgs,' said the witness, convincingly--'D-o-r-g-s.'

"'Why s?' queried c.o.ke. 'We may admit the r, but why the s?'

"'Because it's the pullural of dorg. Cerberus ain't any single-headed commission,' said the witness, who was something of a ward politician.

"'Why do you say that Cerberus is more than one dog?'

"'Because I've had experience,' replied the witness. 'I've seen the time when he was everywhere all at once; that's why I say he's more than one dorg. If he'd been only one dorg he couldn't have been anywhere else than where he was.'

"'When was that?'

"'When I la.s.soed him.'

"'Him?' remonstrated c.o.ke.

"'Yes,' said the witness. 'I only caught one of him, and then the other two took a hand.'

"'Ah, the other two,' said c.o.ke. 'You know dogs when you see them?'

"'I do, and he was all of 'em in a bunch,' replied the witness.

"'Your witness,' said c.o.ke.

"'My friend,' said Catiline, rising quietly. 'How many men are you?'

"'One, sir,' was the answer.

"'Have you ever been in two places at once?'

"'Yes, sir.'

"'When was that?'

"'When I was in jail and in London all at the same time.'

"'Very good; but were you in two places on the day of this attack upon you by Cerberus?'

"'No, sir. I wish I had been. I'd have stayed in the other place.'

"'Then if you were in but one place yourself, how do you know that Cerberus was in more than one place?'

"'Well, I guess if you--'

"'Answer the question,' said Catiline.

"'Oh, well--of course--'