A Knight of the Nineteenth Century Part 5
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But on the day following the one during which she had arrived at the above conclusions she felt quite indisposed, and while at dinner was obliged to succ.u.mb to one of her nervous headaches. Before retiring to her private room she directed the waitress to say to such of her young friends as might call that she was too ill to see them.
Haldane's expressions of sympathy were hollow, indeed, for he hoped that, as a result of her indisposition, he would have Laura all to himself that evening. With an insinuating smile he said to the young girl, after her aunt had left the table:
"I shall expect you to be very agreeable this evening, to compensate me for Mrs. Arnot's absence."
Laura blushed vividly, and was provoked with herself that she did so, but she replied quietly:
"You must excuse me this evening, Mr. Haldane; I am sure my aunt will need me."
His smile was succeeded by a sudden frown; but, as Mr. Arnot was at the table, he said, with a.s.sumed carelessness:
"Then I will go out and try to find amus.e.m.e.nt elsewhere."
"It might be well, young man," said Mr. Arnot austerely, "to seek for something else than amus.e.m.e.nt. When I was at your age I so invested my evenings that they now tell in my business."
"I am willing to invest this evening in a way to make it tell upon my future," replied Haldane, with a meaning glance at Laura.
Mr. Arnot observed this glance and the blus.h.i.+ng face of his niece, and drew his own conclusions; but he only said dryly:
"That remark is about as inexplicable as some of your performances at the office of late."
Laura soon after excused herself and sought a refuge in her aunt's room, which, being darkened, prevented the lady from seeing her burning cheeks and general air of vexation and disquiet. Were it not for Mrs. Arnot's suffering condition and need of rest, Laura would then have told her of her trouble and asked permission to return home, and she determined to do this at the first opportunity. Now, however, she unselfishly forgot herself in her effort to alleviate her aunt's distress. With a strong sense of relief she heard Haldane go out, slamming the front door after him.
"Was there ever such an absurd fellow!" thought she; "he has made himself disagreeable ever since I came, with his superior airs, as if he knew everything, when, in fact, he doesn't know anything well, not even good manners. He acts as if I belonged to him and had no right to any will or wishes of my own. If he can't take the hints that I have given he must be as stupid and blind as an owl. In spite of all that I can do or say he seems to think that I only want an opportunity to show the same ridiculous feeling that makes him appear like a simpleton. If I were a young lady in society I should detest a man who took it for granted that I would fall in love with him."
With like indignant musings she beguiled the time, wondering occasionally why her aunt did not ask her to go down and entertain the object of her dread, but secretly thankful that she did not.
At last Mrs. Arnot said:
"Mr. Haldane went out, did he not?"
"Yes, auntie, some time ago."
"I left my other bottle of smelling-salts in the parlor. I think it is stronger than this. Would you mind getting it for me? It's on the mantel."
Laura had no difficulty in finding it in the somewhat dimly-lighted drawing-room, but as she turned to leave the apartment she saw Haldane between her and the door.
Before he had reached any of his garish haunts he had felt such an utter distaste for them in his present mood that he returned. He was conscious of the impulse merely to be near the object of his thoughts, and also hoped that by some fortunate chance he might still be able to find her alone. That his return might be unnoted, he had quietly entered a side door, and was waiting and watching for just such an opportunity as Mrs.
Arnot had unwittingly occasioned.
Laura tried to brush past, but he intercepted her, and said:
"No, Miss Laura, not till you hear me. You have my destiny in your hands."
"I haven't anything of the kind," she answered, in tones of strong vexation. Guided by instinct, she resolved to be as prosaic and matter-of-fact as possible; so she added: "I have only aunt's smelling-salts in my hands, and she needs them."
"I need _you_ far more than Mrs. Arnot needs her smelling-salts,"
he said tragically.
"Mr. Haldane, such talk is very absurd," she replied, half ready to cry from nervousness and annoyance.
"It is not absurd. How can you trifle with the deepest and holiest feelings that a man--of which a man--feels?" he retorted pa.s.sionately, and growing a little incoherent.
"I don't know anything about such feelings, and therefore cannot trifle with them."
"What did your blushes mean this evening? You cannot deceive me; I have seen the world and know it."
"I am not the world. I am only a school-girl, and if you had good sense you would not talk so to me. You appear to think that I must feel and do as you wish. What right have you to act so?"
"The truest and strongest right. You know well that I love you with my whole soul. I have given you my heart--all there is of me. Have I not a right to ask your love in return?"
Laura was conscious of a strange thrill as she heard these pa.s.sionate words, for they appeared to echo in a depth of her nature of which she had not been conscious before.
The strong and undoubting a.s.surance which possessed him carried for a moment a strange mastery over her mind. As he so vehemently a.s.serted the only claim which a man can urge, her woman's soul trembled, and for a moment she felt almost powerless to resist. His unreserved giving appeared to require that he should receive also. She would have soon realized, however, that Haldane's att.i.tude was essentially that of an Oriental lover, who, in his strongest attachments, is ever p.r.o.ne to maintain the imperative mood, and to consult his own heart rather than that of the woman he loves. While in Laura's nature there was unusual gentleness and a tendency to respect and admire virile force, she was too highly bred in our Western civilization not to resent as an insult any such manifestation of this force as would make the quest of her love a demand rather than a suit, after once recognizing such a spirit. She was now confused, however, and after an awkward moment said:
"I have not asked or wished you to give me so much. I don't think you realize what you are saying. If you would only remember that I am scarcely more than a child you would not talk so foolishly. Please let me go to my aunt."
"No, not till you give me some hope. Your blushes prove that you are a woman."
"They prove that I am excessively annoyed and vexed."
"Oh, Laura, after raising so many hopes you cannot--you cannot----"
"I haven't meant to raise any hopes."
"Why were you so kind to me at first?"
"Well, if you must know, my aunt wished me to be. If I had dreamed you would act so I would not have spoken to you."
"What motive could Mrs. Arnot have had for such a request?"
"I will tell you, and when you know the whole truth you will see how mistaken you are, and how greatly you wrong me. Aunt wanted me to help her keep you home evenings, and away from all sorts of horrid places to which you were fond of going."
These words gave Haldane a cue which he at once followed, and he said eagerly:
"If you will be my wife, I will do anything you wish. I will make myself good, great, and renowned for your sake. Your smiles will keep me from every temptation. But I warn you that if you cast me off--if you trifle with me--I shall become a reckless man. I shall be ruined. My only impulse will be self-destruction."
Laura was now thoroughly incensed, and she said indignantly:
"Mr. Haldane, I should think you would be ashamed to talk in that manner. It's the same as if a spoiled boy should say: If you don't give me what I wish, right or wrong, I will do something dreadful. If I ever do love a man, it will be one that I can look up to and respect, and not one who must be coaxed and bribed to give up disgusting vices. If you do not open that door I will call uncle."
The door opened, and Mr. Arnot entered with a heavy frown upon his brow.
CHAPTER VI
"GLOOMY GRANDEUR"
A Knight of the Nineteenth Century Part 5
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A Knight of the Nineteenth Century Part 5 summary
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