Franklin Kane Part 29
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'Do you realise that it will not change me and that I think you are behaving outrageously?'
'Even if it won't change you I'd have to do it now. I can't marry another woman when I'm in love with you.'
'Can't you? When you know that you can never marry me?'
'Even if I know that,' said Gerald, staring at her and, with his deepening sense of complications, looking, for him, almost stern.
'Well, know it; once for all.'
'That you won't ever forgive me?' Gerald questioned.
'Put it like that if you like to,' she answered.
Gerald turned again to go, and it was now Franklin who checked him.
'Mr. Digby--wait,' he said; 'Helen--wait.' He had been looking at them both while they interchanged their hostilities, and yet, though watching them, he had been absent, as though he were watching something else even more. 'What I mean, what I want to say, is this----' he rather stammered. 'Don't please go to Althea directly. I'm to go to her this evening. She asked me to come and see her at six.' He pulled out his watch. 'It's five now. Will you wait? Will you wait till this evening, please?'
Gerald again had deeply flushed. 'Of course, if you ask it. Only I do feel that I ought to see her, you know,' he paused, perplexed. Then, as he looked at Franklin Kane, something came to him. The cloud of his oppression seemed to pa.s.s from his face and it was once more illuminated, not with blitheness, but with recognition. He saw, he thought he saw, the way Franklin opened for them all. And his words expressed the dazzled relief of that vision. 'I see,' he said, gazing on at Franklin, 'yes, I see. Yes, if you can manage that it will be splendid of you, Kane.' Flooded with the hope of swift elucidation he seized the other's hand while he went on. 'It's been such a dreadful mess. Do forgive me. You must; you will, won't you? It may mean happiness for you, even though Helen says it can't for me. I do wish you all good fortune. And--I'll be at my club until I hear from you. And I can't say how I thank you.' With this, incoherently and rapidly p.r.o.nounced, Gerald was gone and Franklin and Helen were left standing before each other.
For a long time they did not speak, but Franklin's silence seemed caused by no embarra.s.sment. He still looked perplexed, but, through his perplexity, he looked intent, as though tracing in greater and greater clearness the path before him--the path that Gerald had seen that he was opening and that might, Gerald had said, mean happiness to them all. It was Helen watching him who felt a cruel embarra.s.sment. She saw Franklin sacrificed and she saw herself unable to save him. It would not save him to tell him again that she would never marry Gerald. Franklin knew, too clearly for any evasion, that Althea's was the desperate case, the case for succour. She, Helen, could be thrown over--for they couldn't evade that aspect--and suffer never a scratch; but for Althea to throw over Gerald meant that in doing it she must tear her heart to pieces.
And she could not save Franklin by telling him that she had divined his love for her; that would give him all the more reason for ridding her of a husband who hadn't kept to the spirit of their contract. No, the only way to have saved him would have been to love him and to make him know and feel it; and this was the only thing she could not do for Franklin.
She took refuge in her nearest feeling, that of scorn for Gerald. 'It's unforgivable of Gerald,' she said.
Franklin's eyes--they had a deepened, ravaged look, but they were still calm--probed hers, all their intentness now for her. 'Why, no,' he said, after a moment, 'I don't see that.'
Helen, turning away, had dropped into her chair, leaning her forehead on her hand. 'I shall never forgive him,' she said.
Franklin, on the other side of the fire, stood thinking, thinking so hard that he was not allowing himself to feel. He was thinking so hard of Helen that he was unconscious how the question he now asked might affect himself. 'You do love him, Helen? It's him you've always loved?'
'Always,' she said.
'And he's found it out--only to-day.'
'He didn't find it out; I told him. He came to reproach me for my engagement.'
Franklin turned it over. 'But what he has found out, then, is that he loves you.'
'So he imagines. It's not a valuable gift, as you see, Gerald's love.'
Again Franklin paused and she knew that, for her sake, he was weighing the value of Gerald's love. And he found in answer to what she said his former words: 'Why, no, I don't see that,' he said.
'I'm afraid it's all I do see,' Helen replied.
He looked down upon her and after a silence he asked: 'May I say something?'
She nodded, resting her face in her hands.
'You're wrong, you know,' said Franklin. 'Not wrong in feeling this way now; I don't believe you can help that; but in deciding to go on feeling it. You mustn't talk about final decisions.'
'But they are made.'
'They can't be made in life. Life unmakes them, I mean, unless you set yourself against it and ruin things that might be mended.'
'I'm afraid I can't take things as you do,' said Helen. 'Some things are ruined from the very beginning.'
'Well, I don't know about that,' said Franklin; 'at all events some things aren't. And you're wrong about this thing, I'm sure of it. You're hard and you're proud, and you set yourself against life and won't let it work on you. The only way to get anything worth while out of life is to be humble with it and be willing to let it lead you, I do a.s.sure you, Helen.'
Suddenly, her face hidden in her hands, she began to cry.
'He is spoiled for me. Everything is spoiled for me,' she sobbed. 'I'd rather be proud and miserable than humiliated. Who wants a joy that is spoiled? Some things can't be joys if they come too late.'
She wept, and in the silence between them knew only her own sorrow and the bitterness of the desecration that had been wrought in her own love.
Then, dimly, through her tears, she heard Franklin's voice, and heard that it trembled.
'I think they can, Helen,' he said. 'I think it's wonderful the way joy can grow if we don't set ourselves against life. I'm going to try to make it grow'--how his poor voice trembled, she was drawn from her own grief in hearing it--'and I wish I could leave you believing that you were going to try too.'
She put down her hands and lifted her strange, tear-stained face.
'You are going to Althea.'
'Yes,' said Franklin, and he smiled gently at her.
'You are going to ask her to marry you before she can know that Gerald is giving her up.'
He paused for a moment. 'I'm going to see if she needs me.'
Helen gazed at him. She couldn't see joy growing, but she saw a determination that, in its sudden strength, was almost a joy.
'And--if she doesn't need you, Franklin?'
'Ah, well,' said Franklin, continuing to smile rather fixedly, 'I've stood that, you see, for a good many years.'
Helen rose and came beside him. 'Franklin,' she said, and she took his hand, 'if she doesn't have you--you'll come back.'
'Come back?' he questioned, and she saw that all his hardly held fort.i.tude was shaken by his wonder.
'To me,' said Helen. 'You'll marry me, if Althea won't have you. Even if she does--I'm not going to marry Gerald. So don't go to her with any mistaken ideas about me.'
He was very pale, holding her hand fast, as it held his. 'You mean--you hate him so much--for never having seen--that you'll go through with it--to punish him.'
She shook her head. 'No, I'm not so bad as that. It won't be for revenge. It will be for you--and for myself, too; because I'd rather have it so; I'd rather have you, Franklin, than the ruined thing.'
She knew that it was final and supreme temptation that she put before him, and she held it there resolved, so that if there were one chance for him he should have it. She knew that she would stand by what she said. Franklin was her pride and Gerald her humiliation; she would never accept humiliation; and though she could see Franklin go without a qualm, she could, she saw it clearly, have a welcome for him nearly as deep as love's, if he came back to her. And what she hoped, quite selflessly, was that the temptation would suffice; that he would not go to Althea. She looked into his face, and she saw that he was tormented.
'But, Helen,' he said, 'the man you love loves you; doesn't that settle everything?'
Franklin Kane Part 29
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Franklin Kane Part 29 summary
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