Watashi wa Teki ni Narimasen! Chapter 21
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No Good Comes From Over-Thinking Things
“Re…”
As they ascended the steps, Alan swallowed the words he was about to say.
It was not just the guard knight, Grol who was with Reggie. Kiara was there as well.
Furthermore, Reggie had entered Kiara’s room and closed the door behind him.
“Wha…”
Alan had been about to say something but stopped himself.
Wait, a moment Reggie. Was this some lovers rendezvous!? He shouted in his heart.
And with Kiara no less. He had thought that Reggie seemed both sympathetic and helpful, but he had not believed this to be the reason for it.
(Wait, wait now, Alan. Reggie would not do such a thing so easily.)
If Reggie were a normal prince, him taking a lover would not be a problem.
But his situation was much too complicated. It could easily come to involve any related n.o.ble. And what if it were with someone who had ties to Ruain? Not only would he be marked, but he could be poisoned at any time.
(And, so?)
Kiara had fled from home and was completely alone. She was under the guise of being a relative of Alan, but even then, she was only known as a landowners daughter with the smallest blood connection at best. Even if some trouble did arise from this, Alan’s father would deal with it…
(No, no, wait! Father would never allow something so heartless.)
Ever since his mother Beatrice had won him over and become his wife, they were seen as being a loving couple, with a close bond that even common folk would envy.
His parents would not allow the girl, who they had given protection under their wing, to be used and discarded in such a way. Alan’s father was quite soft on Reggie, due to the hards.h.i.+p he faced growing up, but even he would be capable of being unreservedly furious with the prince.
But before any of that.
(Reggie was not a womanizer… Or at least, I very much wanted to believe it.)
It is not that Kiara was not pretty. But, to stand next to Reggie, who none could surpa.s.s in physical beauty, well, Kiara… was much too droll in her disposition.
But even then, she was a count’s daughter and need only act gracefully.
But she was the type who would fall upside down from her bed when shouting an apology on her knees, or she would throw thundergra.s.s and do all sorts of odd things. He would never see a Count’s daughter when he looked at her now.
And her current social status.
She herself had accepted it, and Reggie had not reacted at that time.
And so I don’t think that they wish for a future together…
(They get along too well)
Usually, it was Reggie and Alan that were always together when he came to visit the Margrave’s house. But this time, Reggie had allotted much of that time to being with Kiara. They were together all morning in the library, and there were times like today where they spent the evening together.
Because of this, Alan often felt a sense of boredom on the days where he had no one to practice with.
(No, that wasn’t it. It was not because I am jealous that I find fault with Kiara. I am just worried…)
And here, I see Reggie leaving Kiara’s room.
Reggie was still in the same clothes he was wearing when he told them about the attack and then gone out once again.
At a glance, Alan couldn’t help but notice that a patch on his cape was a dark green as if it had gotten wet.
“Your Highness, what were you talking…”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t ask such boorish questions, Grol?”
Reggie replied, leaving Grol quite speechless.
“Was-, was it the result of a proposal of separation…?”
He had gone to see her in the middle of the night, his clothes had signs of being wet. It must be the remnants of tears… Tears shed by Kiara. So many thoughts began to swim in Alan’s mind.
Perhaps that was why his outburst was overheard by the others. Reggie turned around and looked at him.
“You, you returned quite late then.”
Alan scrambled for words to say in greeting.
“Yes, it seems that Count Patoris.h.i.+el’s men would stop at nothing to try and take Kiara back. I am sure you will hear the details of it soon. I think it will become very important. You will probably be roped into any plans Margrave Vain will have to make.”
“Argh… I do hate
hate having to think of such things.”
This bickering between n.o.bles. It would not be so simple as a head-on battle that would just end everything. Alan forgot all of his previous feelings of unrest just thinking about the mind games and hidden negotiations that would surely occur. He was annoyed.
“Think of is as a rehearsal, future Margrave. You should try to get used to it. After all, you aren’t completely incompetent when it comes to working your mind.”
“I’m not suited for it. What is worse, I completely lose any will to try, when I am surrounded by people who are much better at it than me.”
“I think the Margrave would probably strike you if he heard you saying such things?”
“I have more reason to fear my mother, on that account. She is much quicker with the hand.”
I sighed heavily. Reggie chuckled.
“But, you really should get accustomed to it. I and the Margrave will not always be near you, what do you intend to do when you are left alone?”
“…What are you saying?”
It was unlike Reggie to say anything that suggested a dark future, Alan was a little startled by this.
“There are limits to everything in this world. I and of course, you. But there are things that we can prevent ourselves from losing, through being prepared.”
So, this is a warning. Reggie says.
But the unease that was now created in Alan’s mind would not leave. And because of this, he could not stop his mouth from running on.
“We cannot help that there are limits. But you, can you afford to be so defeated? What will Kiara do if something really does happen?”
Reggie’s eyes widened in unusual surprise.
“Kiara, why?”
“Huh? But, you… Uh.”
Alan wanted to tell him that he had only just left her room. But Reggie did not seem to be self-conscious about that at all, and so he hesitated to pursue it.
“You seem to be quite fond of her, and Kiara has taken to you the most of anyone here. Well… You have certain, responsibilities for helping her…”
“Kiara is not the type of person to wholly rely on someone who has helped her. She is capable of living even if I were gone.”
Reggie laughed. Alan
laughed. Alan started to sulk a little.
“But, Reggie. Clearly, you are very attached to Kiara now. Do you not spend most of the day with her, without getting bored? Does that not mean that you feel an affection towards her?”
Reggie’s facial expression hardly changed during Alan’s pressing.
“Yes, Kiara is an interesting one. If I could keep her by my side, I feel like life would be so much more carefree. But…indeed. The more important issue is what she wants to do.”
It was a most incomprehensible answer.
She is interesting and he wants to keep her by his side. But it was Kiara’s decision to make.
And it also did not answer all of Alan’s question.
He had wanted to know if they were lovers as well, but that question had been neatly ignored.
But Alan could accept that his friend was a complex person. Too complex even, it would sometimes worry him.
There were times like this, where Reggie would only give him answers that were more of a riddle than anything. Likely, he was afraid of revealing his true feelings, of being betrayed… It must have become a habit for him.
But Alan had also realized that Reggie would talk in this way when he had already made his mind about something but was not willing to talk about it yet.
(But, what and how did he decide?)
Had he decided to keep Kiara near to him? Had he decided to keep her as a friend, but maintain a distance between them? He would surely not answer these questions if asked now.
Alan sighed.
“Well… Just tell me, if something happens. Kiara is employed under our roof, even if you one day have to abandon her, we will take responsibility for her. See?”
“…Alan. To me, abandoning her would be the same as abandoning myself.”
Reggie answered, his face had suddenly turned very serious.
“To abandon yourself…”
Why did he feel so strongly, there was such a weight to those words that Alan did not know what to say after that.
“And so I won’t abandon her until the end. It the situation turns so bad, I will probably take her with me and leave. So the burden will not be on you.”
“Reggie…”
How far did he intend to take intend to take her? I could not ask.
I felt that if I did, I would hear something most frightening.
The next day, Alan saw Kiara, whose face looked a little puffy as if she had been crying. And his confusion deepened.
“It was probably…not about separation.”
He had said that he would not abandon her. I did not think that he had asked for an end to their relations.h.i.+p. But then, why was Kiara crying?
Alan did not know how to react to a woman when she was crying, and so he tried to avoid her until that parts under her eyes began to settle. His mind raced as he waited.
“Was it possibly because Reggie couldn’t make her his wife?”
But that too was not believable for Alan. Reggie would not stop until he had finished doing something that he had decided on. He would find ways to pa.s.s any barriers in place.
What surprised Alan, even more, was from that day on, neither Reggie or Kiara acted in a way towards each other, that could be interpreted as that of two lovers.
Regardless of such troubles that filled Alan’s mind, the day came for Reggie to end his stay and return to the royal palace.
“I will come again, next year.”
Reggie smiled, addressing Alan and Kiara.
“Alan, we have a chance to meet at the new year’s celebration. You will of course come?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
Alan nodded, he had finally come to terms with what was troubling him.
(I see, I understand now. Reggie sees himself as Kiara’s guardian)
One would not feel inconvenienced at having their child kept close by, one would never abandon their own child! There were many such fathers in the world. And those tears, it made sense to think that he was comforting a scared daughter after having been attacked.
The problem had been solved. And so Alan was able to send Reggie away, feeling refreshed and with a big smile.
And he turned to Kiara who stood with a slightly dark expression in order to encourage her.
“Well, what is it? Cheer up, Kiara.”
“Uh…what?”
She had been surprised for some reason, but she quickly smiled back at him.
And so Alan did not realize that he had greatly misunderstood the situation.
Watashi wa Teki ni Narimasen! Chapter 21
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Watashi wa Teki ni Narimasen! Chapter 21 summary
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