The American Credo Part 14

--237

That Jules Verne antic.i.p.ated all the great modern inventions.

--238

That a man is always a much heartier eater than a woman.

--239

That all the girls in Mr. Ziegfeld's "Follies" are extraordinarily seductive, and that at least 40 head of bank cas.h.i.+ers are annually guilty of tapping the till in order to buy them diamonds and Russian sables.

--240

That a college soph.o.m.ore is always a complete ignoramus.

--241

That rubbers in wet weather are a preventive of colds.

--242

That if one eats oysters in a month not containing an "r," one is certain to get ptomaine poisoning.

--243

That a woman with a 7-1/2-C foot always tries to squeeze it into a 4-1/2-A shoe.

--244

That no shop girl ever reads anything but Laura Jean Libbey and the cheap s.e.x magazines.

--245

That there is something peculiar about a man who wears a red tie.

--246

That all Bolsheviki and Anarchists have whiskers.

--247

That all the millionaires of Pittsburgh are very loud fellows, and raise merry h.e.l.l with the chorus girls every time they go to New York.

--248

That a man of fifty-five is always more experienced than a man of thirty-five.

--249

That new Bermuda potatoes come from Bermuda.

--250

That the boy who regularly stands at the foot of his cla.s.s in school always turns out in later life to be very successful.

--251

That the ornamental daggers fas.h.i.+oned out of one hundred dollars' worth of Chinese coins strung together, which one buys in Pekin or Hong Kong for three dollars and a quarter, are fas.h.i.+oned out of one hundred dollars' worth of Chinese coins.

--252

That it is hard to find any one in Hoboken, N.J., who can speak English.

--253

That the head-waiter in a fas.h.i.+onable restaurant has better manners than any other man in the place.

--254

That a girl always likes best the man who is possessed of a cavalier politeness.

--255

That the most comfortable room conceivable is one containing a great big open fireplace.

--256

That brunettes are more likely to grow stout in later years than blondes.