More Portmanteau Plays Part 59

Go ahead.... I'll wait for you.

JONATHAN

And I'd like to give a show. You know, Hank, I used to want to be an actor....

HANK

Sure, all kids want to be actors or go in a circus or do something where a lot o' people are lookin' on.

JONATHAN

But I can't be an actor now, because n.o.body'd want to look at me.

HANK

You act like that hump's ruined your life, when all you got to do's crouch over a little more and look sad and you can get anything you want. Why, it's money in your pocket, that's what that hump is; it's money in your pocket.

[_He closes the conversation by whistling._

Say, go on over to that house and get us something to eat.

[_Jonathan prepares for the quest and Hank rolls over to go to sleep._

_As Jonathan crosses, lights disclose a hill with pleasant green slopes. At its foot stands a little cottage, all cool and pleasant with great gla.s.s doors. There are no locks and bolts to keep one out or to keep one in. A high plaster and brick wall flanks the cottage._

_As Jonathan nears the cottage he meets Uncle John, whose austerity is more apparent than ever._

_Jonathan cowers a moment, then attempts to smile._

JONATHAN

Hank said you'd turn me away if I came back.

JOHN

Were you talking to me, boy?

JONATHAN

I'm so sorry I ran away, Uncle John.

JOHN

Uncle John?

JONATHAN

Don't you know me, Sir?

JOHN

Indeed I do not.

JONATHAN

I'm Jonathan--

JOHN

Jonathan! My nephew Jonathan?--Ha! Ha!

JONATHAN

Don't you remember I didn't want to study engineering--I didn't want to go to Somerset School?

JOHN

Where is Jonathan?

JONATHAN

I'm Jonathan, sir. You remember I jumped out of the window and I tried to run away.

JOHN

You seem to know a lot about it. Where is Jonathan?

JONATHAN

I tell you I am Jonathan.... Don't you remember you struck me--You struck me across the face--that's what made me run away.

JOHN

I should have whipped him and put him to bed.

JONATHAN

I would have run away just the same, Uncle John.

JOHN

Don't call me Uncle John!

JONATHAN

But you are my Uncle John.

JOHN