Second Plays Part 60

SUSAN. I had thought to be alone. I trust my singing did not discommode you.

GERVASE. Not at all. I like it. Do go on.

SUSAN. Alas, the song ends there.

GERVASE. Oh, well, couldn't we have it again?

SUSAN. Perhaps later, sir, if you insist. (Taking off his hat) Would it inconvenience you if I rested here for a few minutes?

GERVASE. Not a bit. It's a jolly place to rest at, isn't it? Have you come far this morning?

SUSAN. Three or four miles--a mere nothing on a morning like this.

Besides, what does the great William say?

GERVASE. I don't think I know him. What does he say?

SUSAN. A merry heart goes all the way.

GERVASE. Oh, Shakespeare, yes.

SUSAN. And why, you ask, am I merry?

GERVASE. Well, I didn't, but I was just going to. Why are you merry?

SUSAN. Can you not guess? What does the great Ralph say?

GERVASE (trying hard). The great Ralph. . . . No, you've got me there.

I'm sure I don't know him. Well, what does he say?

SUSAN. Give me health and a day, and I will make the pomp of Empires ridiculous.

GERVASE. Emerson, of course. Silly of me.

SUSAN. So you see, sir--I am well, the day is well, all is well.

GERVASE. Sir, I congratulate you. In the words of the great Percy--(to himself) that's got him.

SUSAN (at a loss). The--er--great Percy?

GERVASE. Hail to thee, blithe spirit!

SUSAN (eagerly). I take you, I take you! Sh.e.l.ley! Ah, there's a poet, Mr.--er--I don't think I quite caught your name.

GERVASE. Oh! My name's Gervase Mallory--to be referred to by posterity, I hope, as the great Gervase.

SUSAN. Not a poet, too?

GERVASE. Well, no, not professionally.

SUSAN. But one with the poets in spirit--like myself. I am very glad to meet you, Mr. Mallory. It is most good-natured of you to converse with me. My name is Susan, (GERVASE bows.) Generally called Master Susan in these parts, or sometimes Gentleman Susan. I am a travelling Peddler by profession.

GERVASE. A delightful profession, I am sure.

SUSAN. The most delightful of all professions. (He begins to undo his pack,) Speaking professionally for the moment, if I may so far venture, you are not in any need of boot-laces, b.u.t.tons, or collar-studs?

GERVASE (smiling). Well, no, not at this actual moment. On almost any other day perhaps--but no, not this morning.

SUSAN. I only just mentioned it in pa.s.sing--_en pa.s.sant_, as the French say. (He brings out a paper bag from his pack.) Would the fact of my eating my breakfast in this pleasant resting place detract at all from your appreciation of the beautiful day which Heaven has sent us?

GERVASE. Eating your _what_?

SUSAN. My simple breakfast.

GERVASE (shaking his head). I'm very sorry, but I really don't think I could bear it. Only five minutes ago Ernest--I don't know if you know Ernest?

SUSAN. The great Ernest?

GERVASE (indicating with his hand). No, the very small one--Well, _he_ was telling me all about the breakfast he'd just had, and now _you're_ showing me the breakfast you're just going to have--no, I can't bear it.

SUSAN. My dear sir, you don't mean to tell me that you would do me the honour of joining me at my simple repast?

GERVASE (jumping up excitedly). The honour of joining you!--the _honour_! My dear Mr. Susan! Now I know why they call you Gentleman Susan. (Shaking his head sadly) But no. It wouldn't be fair to you. I should eat too much. Besides, Ernest may come back. No, I will wait.

It wouldn't be fair.

SUSAN (unpacking his breakfast). Bacon or cheese?

GERVASE. Cheese--I mean bacon--I mean--I say, you aren't serious?

SUSAN (handing him bread and cheese). I trust you will find it up to your expectations.

GERVASE (taking it). I say, you really--(Solemnly) Master Susan, with all the pa.s.sion and emotion of which I am capable before breakfast, I say "Thank you." (He takes a bite) Thank you.

SUSAN (eating also). Please do not mention it. I am more than repaid by your company.

GERVASE. It is charming of you to say so, and I am very proud to be your guest, but I beg you to allow me to pay for this delightful cheese.

SUSAN. No, no. I couldn't hear of it.

GERVASE. I warn you that if you will not allow me to pay for this delightful cheese, I shall insist on buying all your boot-laces. Nay, more, I shall buy all your studs, and all your b.u.t.tons. Your profession would then be gone.

SUSAN. Well, well, shall we say tuppence?

GERVASE. Tuppence for a banquet like this? My dear friend, nothing less than half-a-crown will satisfy me.

SUSAN. Sixpence. Not a penny more.

GERVASE (with a sigh). Very well, then. (He begins to feel in his pocket, and in so doing reveals part of his dress. SUSAN opens his eyes at it, and then goes on eating. GERVASE finds his purse and produces sixpence, which he gives to SUSAN.) Sir, I thank you. (He resumes his breakfast.)

SUSAN. You are too generous. . . . Forgive me for asking, but you are not by chance a fellow-traveller upon the road?