Stranger’s Handbook Chapter 38

Chapter 38: A Secret Affair

After I realized Princess Tsubaki had nonchalantly framed me, I returned to my room stumblingly.

The Imperial Household most likely thinks something like this: to try to get on closer terms with me and deepen our relations.h.i.+ps, and if possible, seal our connection through a marriage.

Frightening, this Imperial Household…..
Despite being so little, the girl sure has a crafty mind…..

I returned to my room in order to take a bath and try to forget about this evening.
This part of the castle is reserved for guests, so each room has its own bathroom.
As a j.a.panese person, this is much appreciated.

The maids helped me remove my clothes and I entered the bathtub.
They must help ‘stripping’ me, was.h.i.+ng me and wiping my body dry.

It is indeed embarra.s.sing, but I got used to it, surprisingly.

There are some shops in j.a.pan that offer customers similar services, and since I’m an old guy, I’ve already experienced such shops; they were rather good actually.

The one was.h.i.+ng my body was the old……urm, the ‘young’ maid.

She’s glaring at me again…..Can you really read my thoughts?

“Zest-sama, I can’t wash you properly like this. Excuse me for a moment. Hihi”

The maid showed a bewitching expression.
Wait a second, if I’m unfaithful the pink diamond will break.
If that really happens, I’m pretty much sure that something very, very bad would befall onto me.
Then, do I make her stop? I have the feeling that I might regret it……

In an instant, my head started spinning from all my conflicting thoughts.
I never thought that such an erotic development would occur all of a sudden; as one would expect from a different world.

However, lovemaking or my life, when thinking about which is more important to me, the answer is really simple.

I smiled sweetly and stoked the maid’s hair.
She twitched and her body started to tremble as she opened her eyes to look at me.

“Because you are wonderful, it’s only natural for things to be like this. I won’t ask you to forgive me, but you should stop this. However, I might not be able to stop at this point, so would you please leave me alone for a while?”

Her face bright red, she nodded several times and left the bathroom.

I made sure she did and looked fixedly at my right hand.
The feeling of her thin hair was still imprinted on my right hand.

“Ah!…..Why do people feel the need to wage wars? World peace brings me happiness, you know?…. I pray that, at least tonight, everyone will dream some wonderful, happy dreams……”

(Master, you seem refreshed. Did something good happen?)

The spirit and I, we both left the bathroom and were currently drinking tea while being clad in matching bathrobes.
As you could guess, I was feeling rather wise at the moment.
I had the feeling I could forgive anything.

“That which is good for me, for you would be a laughing matter.”

I brushed her hair gently.
The spirit really likes me doing this, and since I enjoy it too, it was a reciprocal feeling.

“Come now, it’s already late. Let’s go to bed…..Thank you for the trouble, you can leave now.”

“Yes. Good night, Zest-sama.”

The ‘young’ maid’s face was still flushed.
Was it that it’s been a while since someone caressed her hair like that? I’m sure she has someone who…..I should stop, I don’t want to die just yet.

I put the spirit in her bed and felt I was at my limit too. There won’t be any a.s.saults tomorrow morning, right? At least, I hope a woman would wake me up.
While thinking about that, I fell asleep.

Strange.

I can’t breathe.

I was becoming more and more aware.
I wonder what’s going on?

I’m sure I was sleeping inside the castle, in my own bed……

Am I ill?
Impossible. I heard that, because of my light attribute, I have some sort of divine protection that won’t let me become sick.

Was I attacked then? My hands and feet……I can still move them, and they seem all right.
If that’s the case, it seems I’m not immobilized.

I kept my eyes closed and my mouth shut and pretended I was still asleep, in order to put up a plan and wait for the other party’s negligence.
I strengthened my whole body with magical power, so I could still defend myself in case they decided to cut at me without warning.

How about the smell? I breathed in and I could smell a sweet, floral scent.

Did they burn some herbs to inflict me some damage? Haha, I bet they didn’t know it won’t have any effect on me…..These attackers sure are stupid.

Still? Why, then, do I feel like I can’t breathe?

When I opened my eyes, I could clearly see that precise pitch blackness.
This….! So this was the cause!? Oh snap!

(Master, good morning.)

“Morning, spirit. Get down from my nose, and make it fast. My nose is not your chair, you know?”

This blockhead was sitting on top on my nose…….

Hey G.o.d, when I asked you I want to be woken up by a girl, this is not what I had on my mind.

As I was getting dressed and finished breakfast, I kept on lecturing the spirit to never do that again.

Seemingly, the spirit woke up early, changed her clothes and waited for me to wake up too.
When she saw I wasn’t really waking up, she got bored and started to play, but she no idea when I was going to awake.
In order to clearly see the moment when I was to awake, she came closer to my face, climbed it and decided that my nose would be the perfect place to properly observe me. So, she sat on it……

Since I took pity on the spirit, who was about to start crying from all my lecturing, I brushed her hair and praised her: ‘Still, it’s admirable you managed to change clothes by yourself. I’m happy you waited for me to wake up.’ She started smiling broadly the next instant.

…….She’s such a simpleton.

Well, it seems I wasn’t actually under attack, so as long as it’s still peaceful around here, I’ll cut her some slack.
…….However, she smells really good……I have a feeling she smells exactly like the young lady.

It’s just a hunch though.
It’s absolutely not like I was sniffing the young lady or something, absolutely not.

I was about to start crying at my realization that I was in fact quite the pervert, when my master came to visit.

“Zest, the knights say they want to train, so won’t you come along too?”

Just the right timing. I shall vent my frustrations on them and change my mood.

“I will accompany you with pleasure, master.”

We arrived at the training ground, but one section of it was under preparation for tonight’s banquet, so it couldn’t be used.
Even so, there was still more than enough s.p.a.ce for more than 1000 people to move around leisurely.
That’s the imperial capital for you. They aren’t superficial at least.

I was looking around restlessly and master, who was inspecting me, started to laugh.
Since the maids wanted to observe our training too, we brought them along, and the spirit rapidly turned into their toy. The maids were very affectionate towards her.
All in all, it was a rather strange group of people.

“Oi! What the h.e.l.l are you thinking, bringing women to play at this training ground?”

A man wearing a remarkably extravagant armor shouted from up close, blaming us.
Clattering, he was approaching us, his face growing more and more pale, his pace getting faster.

He was already sprinting when he arrived in front of us, and he started breathing heavily while bowing his head.

“I’m…I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t realize you were from the Frontier Count’s Household……”

“….Well, it’s quite unusual for highly ranked n.o.bles to visit the training grounds, I suppose.”

“Yes. However, father, doesn’t he lack consideration?”

I wanted to complain some more to my master, who was already in his Frontier Count’s Household mode, but I endured it.

In actuality, I didn’t really want to rant about such a trivial thing.
I could’ve simply killed him on the spot for being impolite.
I could’ve ended it easily, but since it was a special time, I decided it wasn’t really necessary.

The still alive commanding officer, as he named himself, kept on bowing and asking for forgiveness.
It was already decided that he was to be forgiven, but if we let him off too easily, people would start to make light of us.
I was observing the situation, thinking about what to do next, when that guy showed up. He had such a wonderful timing.

“I’ve finally found you! Come now, Lord Zest! I wish to have a fight with you!!”

A secluded voice could be heard from inside the full-plate armor…..It was that guy the spirit sent away flying.

Good. This was the moment when I’ve decided that this guy would be the perfect object of my venting.

Translation: Nana
Proofreading: Carmina
DA BEST (among the worst): Mockii