Mrs. Fitz Part 40

"A man may laugh at his thoughts, sir, may he not?" said Schalk, with a dour smile.

"Not in the presence of the little father, Schalk, unless he shares them with the little father. What are you laughing at? But there, since you bungled that treaty with the wily Teuton your thoughts are not of much consequence. You know I don't care a doit for your thoughts, Schalk, since you went to Berlin. The thoughts of Schalk, forsooth! The wine is with you, you rascal. Remember that in England it is not considered to be good breeding to get drunk before your King."

"In Illyria, sir, that is always held to be impossible," said Schalk.

Ferdinand the Twelfth indulged in a guffaw.

"Good for you, impious one! Nay, fill up your gla.s.s before you pa.s.s it, and keep out your long nose, else our English friends will think we have no manners in Illyria."

When it pleases a monarch to unbend, the laughter his sallies evoke may seem overmuch for his wit. But it is an excellent custom to laugh heartily at the humour of kings. Ferdinand the Twelfth, in spite of his long journey, was in a very gracious mood and indulged us with many sallies at the expense of his Chancellor. Baron von Schalk, however, was well able to defend himself. It must be allowed, I think, that the royal wit was neither very refined nor very courteous. Rough and primitive, it had something of a Gargantuan savour. But his own deep-voiced appreciation of it was a perpetual feast. He also told one or two stories of a true Rabelaisian cast. They were told with an immense gusto, and he led the laughter himself with a whole-heartedness which was quite Homeric. Before the bottle the Victor of Rodova was magnificent company. It was impossible not to respond to his unaffected, if extremely catholic, good-humour.

When we joined the ladies we found them playing a game of patience.

The Father of his People immediately carried a chair to the side of Mrs. Arbuthnot, sat beside her and offered pertinent help in the arrangement of her cards. "But this game is only fit for people like Schalk," he declared. "Britch is the game we play in Illyria."

Interpreting such a remark as being in the nature of a command, the hostess swept her cards together, and imperiously ordered her spouse to get the bridge markers.

"How shall we play, sir?" said Mrs. Arbuthnot.

"Togezzer, madame, you and I," said the King, with an air of homage, "_if_ you please. I can see you play well."

"Oh, sir!" said Madame, for the third time hoisting the ensign of the rose. "How can you possibly know that?"

"Infallible signs, milady," said the King, laughing. "Trust an old soldier to read the signs. First, your ears, if I may say so. They have shape and position, just like my own. That means a well-balanced mind. And that dainty head, _c'est magnifique_! What intellect behind that forehead! Now give me your hand--the left one."

Milady gave the King a much bejewelled paw.

"Ouf!" said he, "what ambition! You will never hesitate to call _sans atout_. The heart-line is very good, also. There will be no other partner for Ferdinand. Schalk can have whom he pleases."

It pleased Baron von Schalk to choose her Royal Highness, and a very interesting game began.

"We must take care, milady," said Ferdinand the Twelfth, "we simple children of nature. I expect they will cheat us horribly. Schalk has very little in the way of a conscience, and nothing delights Sonia so much as to overreach a confiding parent."

As he spoke it pleased this simple child of nature to revoke in a very flagrant and palpable manner.

"No diamonds, partner?" said Mrs. Arbuthnot.

"None whatever," said the King, blandly. "I think a small deuce will take that trick, eh, Schalk?"

"So it appears, sir," said the long-suffering Chancellor.

I was led aside by the son-in-law of Ferdinand the Twelfth.

"If you watch this game, old son," said he, "you will gain an insight into the monarchical basis of the const.i.tution of Illyria. Let us watch what the plausible old ruffian does with the nine of diamonds."

Happily the game was not being played for money. But it was characteristic of the Illyrian ruler, that in even the simple matter of a game at cards he was incapable of conducting it other than in a manner peculiarly his own.

CHAPTER XXV

THE FATHER OF HIS PEOPLE

It was past two o'clock when the _partie_ was dissolved. No sooner had our guests retired to their repose than Mrs. Arbuthnot turned enthusiastically to her lord.

"What a perfectly lovely old man! Such charm, such distinction; so kind, so unaffected, and oh, so simple! There is something in being a king, after all."

"Things are not always what they seem, _mon enfant_," I remarked uneasily.

"He is a perfect old darling."

"He is one of the deepest men in Europe, as all the world knows."

"He is a dear."

"Personally, I have no wish to meet him in a lonely lane on a dark night, if I should happen to have anything upon me that I cared to lose."

"Why, goose, you are jealous!"

"Put not your trust in princes, my child." And, reluctantly enough, I confided Fitz's piece of advice.

Howbeit, I was more than half prepared for Mrs. Arbuthnot's queenlike indignation.

"What do you mean, Odo?" said she, majestically. The outraged delicacy of a De Vere Vane-Anstruther is a very majestic thing.

"Either you promise, or I don't sleep over the stables."

"This is all the doing of Fitz! He has an insane prejudice."

"Fitz is a very shrewd fellow, and he knows our guest rather better than either of us. You must not forget that kings are kings in Illyria."

"I don't understand."

"You must promise, even if you don't."

"I shall do nothing of the kind. It is a humiliating suggestion.

Besides, it is all so _bourgeois_."

"I was waiting for that. But, whatever it is, I have quite made up my mind. Either you promise, or I don't sleep over the stables."

"Then I refuse; absolutely and unconditionally I refuse," said Mrs.

Arbuthnot, with what can only be described as _hauteur_.

It was our first _impa.s.se_ in the course of six years of double harness. I have never disguised from myself that I am a weak mortal.

Mrs. Arbuthnot has never disguised it from me either. The habit of yielding more or less gracefully to the imperious will of the superior half of my ent.i.ty had become second nature. But there was a voice within that would not have me give way.

"Absolutely and unconditionally! I consider it odious. And why should you insult me in this manner----"