Withered Leaves Volume Iii Part 22

"You still doubt? Pray call in the officer of the frontier."

Under the impression that the Italian felt weak, and needed some surgical a.s.sistance, Blanden hastened down the stairs and returned with the chief guardian of the frontier. The latter felt Baluzzi's pulse, and shook his head.

"One favour! Show this gentleman what you found sewn up in my coat."

Annoyed, but unwilling to refuse a dying man's entreaty, the officer, with an enquiring glance at Blanden, went into his office, and returned, bringing another Cossack with him as watchman.

Out of a rough wooden box close at hand at the time, he took a sparkling diamond coronet. Even the Cossacks drew nearer with covetous glances.

Only one stone was wanting in the ornament. Blanden started back as if stung by an adder.

"My, her diamonds! Our family jewels! Robber!

"I a robber? Did she wear these diamonds on her wedding day? Did she complain that she had lost them? It is a gift that she gave to me--one of the many with which she bought my silence. I came to her on the evening before her wedding. Ktchen showed me the road through the tower and the subterranean pa.s.sage, and cleared the way--poor child, it was there, too, that she died the following day in the fireworks, which she let off in honour of the bridal couple. These diamonds are my honestly gained property."

Now Blanden said no more. Groping about blindly he sought an explanation, but all excuses were denied to him. Desperate, he buried his face in his hands, and stamped as if in an impotent rage with his fate.

"He is dying," said the official, pointing at Baluzzi, whose features suddenly became overshadowed.

But he raised himself once more with a powerful effort, and cried in a shrieking half-failing voice--

"Thrust her from you, the adulteress. Where am I? The brand upon her brow, the chains of the galley rattle about me--"

"And if it were so," cried Blanden, "the proofs are wanting. The secret goes with you to the grave. I alone have the right to punish her."

"You are wrong," said Baluzzi, gathering up his strength once more.

"Revenge I have vowed to her, I keep my oath, the proofs are not here, not at hand, but they are in safe keeping. The accusation I carried for long, carefully sealed up in my breast pocket. Beate burned the page in the registry in San Giulio, but a legal copy at the See in Milan proves the marriage. And this accusation is my legacy, the lightning that strikes the worthless woman, even before I die."

"This accusation--" cried Blanden, almost breathlessly.

"Bears the address of the nearest court in the district, shows all proofs, and is in the hands of Wild Robert, who fled with me on to the bank in the swamps. The ball hit me--it missed him. He promised me, even if it cost his life, to take the papers there. He knows the way through the mora.s.s, and if he had to hew down bush and tree with an axe to make a bridge for himself, the bailiffs have not caught him.

Triumph! Chains and fetters for her--she has despised me, I, too, may despise her--thus I die--gladly!" And with these words, which were already interrupted by the rattle of approaching death, he bowed his head and pa.s.sed away.

As if out of his mind Blanden rushed into the night, ran along lonely roads, sprang over ditches and fences, hurried up and down--he felt as though he must fly from himself.

His Giulia had deceived him, she was a criminal, his marriage invalid--the myrmidons of the law were already knocking at the door of his Castle! He repeated all this to himself mechanically, hopelessly, as though he were conning a lesson. It was impossible that all this could concern himself.

After two hours of rapid flight through the night, which just began to yield to the dawn in the east, he returned to the inn, asked for ink and paper, and wrote to Giulia--

"Baluzzi is dead, he fell in a smuggler's fight, and dying confessed to me that you are his wife, and never were divorced from him! Shortly before his death he sent in an accusation against you. It cannot all be true, confirm the untruth with a few lines; they will find me with the proprietor of Opaczno."

He obtained a messenger and despatched him to Kulmitten with his letter.

It would have been impossible for him to return now, look into Giulia's eyes, hear from her own lips that she was the wife of that wretch.

He gave some orders and money for Baluzzi's burial, and then drove to Opaczno.

Fixedly he gazed at the morning, he saw none of the objects past which he drove, for him a heavy shadow lay upon all earthly things.

She whom he had so proudly loved, seemed like a spectre to him, a bride of Corinth, a vampire, which had sucked his blood, his life.

And yet--in the midst of his wrath at the deception, he was seized with fear, with pity for her, an inexpressible feeling of pain, that gnawed at his heart.

He felt as if the mild G.o.d of Hindoostan, the old King's son, laid a hand upon his brow like a healing doctor, and whispered to him, "Have pity upon all creation!"

CHAPTER XII.

CONFESSIONS.

"When you receive these lines," wrote Giulia, "I shall have left Kulmitten with Beate, and all traces of me, it is to be hoped, will be lost to you and to the world. I take nothing with me, save the remembrance of your goodness and love, and they shall support me in my forsakenness, and render it possible for me to endure life.

"What else can it be to me, but an atonement of the past, but a prayer, a prayer for forgiveness? I shall never learn if it be fulfilled, but in my best hours I shall comfort myself with it, I shall hope and believe in it, as we believe in one only happiness!

"And I dare believe and hope, because the crime that I committed was committed only through boundless love for you, through pa.s.sion that gives up and sacrifices everything for the possession of the beloved one, even its duty, its honour--at least that which before law and the world pa.s.ses for such. I had hoped to be able to preserve my secret, and at the same time untroubled happiness for you, even although mine was ever disturbed by pangs of conscience; it has been ordained differently, the veil has suddenly fallen. I stand as a criminal before your eyes. If you, too, measure me with the measure of others, then there is no absolution for me, but you, whom I loved most deeply, will also be more capable than all others of forgiveness.

"The whole history of my sorrow is connected with a man who has now met with so terrible an end, he was fatal to my life. I may regret that a low mind made him an unsettled, unhappy wanderer upon earth, but I cannot weep for him, because tears are too precious to be wasted upon what is ign.o.ble. Others may, perhaps, think the same of me, but every great pa.s.sion has an atoning power. The story of my life is short, but eventful.

"My parents possessed a small estate near Bergamo; they exchanged it for another in the Italian Tyrol, but they were unfortunate, their affairs went wrong. Young as I was, I had to think of earning something for myself, and as I was esteemed tolerably good looking, and my voice melodious and strong, it was determined that I should devote myself to the stage. Influential friends provided for my education, so that I might enter the chorus at the _Pergola_, in Florence.

"I was eighteen years old, I did not know life. In my dreams I might sketch a brilliant future for myself: the present was poor enough, it did not satisfy the ambition of artistic struggles, it barely yielded daily bread. Gradually, however, I began to receive subordinate parts, in which, if not by my singing, yet by my voice, my whole manner, I could rouse people's attention.

"At that time I became acquainted with Baluzzi; he was twenty years older than I, and also a chorus singer, but for him the chorus was only a place of refuge, as it seemed, the sad close to a mysterious life. He was considered to be a handsome man, all my friends were proud when he paid them any little attention. Soon he began to distinguish me especially, which roused my companions' jealousy, made me, however, the more susceptible of the tokens of his favour. He understood how to win a young heart; he surrounded himself with the charm of recklessness; here and there he allowed a reminiscence of his past, a picture to gleam shedding around him the halo of a bold, daring man. Being a member of the chorus appeared to us as a disguise which he had a.s.sumed in his momentary need.

"Unacquainted with life, captivated by Baluzzi's fiery glances, and the power of his language, I was soon beneath his spell. I loved him with inexperienced, ardent love. An event also occurred that showed me his uncontrolled feelings, it is true, but also the strength of his pa.s.sion. I had inspired a Florentine n.o.ble with one of those transient affections which the stage so easily ignited. I had treated him politely, and he looked upon me as an easy prey. Late one evening he came to me. I bade him leave, he became more importunate. Baluzzi had watched for him, came to me, drew out his dagger, and wounded the n.o.bleman. The wound was not dangerous and my well-born friend deemed it best to observe silence. I, however, could gauge Baluzzi's love for me by the measure of his savage jealousy.

"Nor did he only crave for fleeting love, he strove to possess me from the first. He told the wounded intruder that I was his betrothed, and a.s.serted his right of active defence. I had not given him the right until now, but I did not show over-much resistance when he claimed it.

Once when I refused to listen to him, we were standing upon the platform of the _companile_, he threatened to throw himself down, and I appeased him with hasty consent, because I believed that he would fulfil his threat.

"One thing I must say for him--and that was my misfortune--he believed in my talent, my future. While others thought my performances pretty and taking, he was convinced that, with my voice, my appearance, after a little progress in singing, I should become great on the Italian stage. In imagination he foresaw my pecuniary, my brilliant successes, therefore he strove to possess me. I was an object of his calculations, and they had not deceived him. That he also found me personally desirable I will readily believe, for the world, the public, the newspapers, and above all, my mirror told me that I was beautiful.

"Baluzzi's pa.s.sionate courts.h.i.+p, which inspired me with fear and dread--as he intimidated me with menaces if I should not do his will--I could no longer resist. I had sung my first more important part at the _Pergola_ and been very successful; his calculations now gained a firmer basis, more resolutely he went at his object. At that time, it is true, I only perceived the expression of unlimited pa.s.sion in all that he said or did, which at last intoxicated me, for nothing is more infectious than the soul's warmth. I gave my consent to the marriage; that it should be a secret one at first, we both agreed. Nothing is more fatal to young actresses than the t.i.tle of _Signora_, it sets a barrier to those undecided wishes which spontaneously, like a superfluous element of nature, mingle with the admiration of beauty and artistic revelations; in such unexpressed emotions often lies the secret of success. A grand career lay before me, it must remain free and open to me. Baluzzi also desired this. We were married in the remote little church in the middle of the Orta lake. For the stage I continued to be Signora Bollini; but the heavy, fatal error of my life had been committed, it was no youthful folly whose consequences could be brushed away with a light hand. Marriage is indissoluble according to the laws of the Church, indissoluble according to those of the country. The priest's words had converted me into a slave for evermore.

I did not feel it then, I was happy. This confession does not disgrace me, because felicity lies in our feelings, and delusion can call it forth as well as truth. Youth has its own rapture, its own bliss, and love is not so powerless as not to procure full enjoyment for all who are filled with it. Those were glorious days which I spent by the banks of the Orta lake. Baluzzi then seemed like a demi-G.o.d to me, but that bliss was of short duration.

"Returned to Florence, I soon remarked that he displayed several rougher sides of his nature, at first surprising, then alarming me. I perceived that he gave himself up to a wild life, which, merely to win and deceive me, he had interrupted for some time. He laid an embargo upon my cash-box, I was almost reduced to poverty; he was a gambler, a drunkard, and spent his nights with wild companions.

"The rapture of love, however, had given unthought-of wings to my talent; from part to part I attained greater success, and after the lapse of a year was engaged at the _Pergola_ with a considerable salary, but, with the salary, increased Baluzzi's claims; often he demanded money for his journeys to Monaco, where he indulged his mania for play, whence he always returned a bankrupt. All my expostulations were vain, he met them with bitter scorn and the defiant manner of a lord and master.

"He gambled at Monaco, he engaged in equivocal business, and did I not send him sufficient money at any time, he pursued me like a spy, like a shadow. He read of my successes in the papers, he kept a book of them, he calculated my receipts. In Milan, not long after, began the era of my triumphs, the most distinguished circles were opened to me. I became intimate with Princess Dolgia, and she invited we to her villa at Stresa.

"It was then that I saw you for the first time, when my heart burned for you with glowing pa.s.sion, when I experienced all the charms of love and life, and felt the shame of my chains doubly heavy; then, too, he spied upon me by the lake sh.o.r.e, he had been dissatisfied with the last remittance; he demanded more. At the same time his heart was inflamed with savage jealousy, or was it rather an emotion of hatred--he saw that we loved one another. I feared for your life, only a great price could a.s.suage his wrath. But, carried away with delight that knew no bounds, as if to raise me in blissful dreams above the unworthiness with which my life was filled, I would not curb my glowing love, and greater than the sin of loving was the wicked doubt, whether the welfare of my soul was more imperilled by your love than by the mad pa.s.sion of a brutal criminal.

"Since then my only thought has been for you and your love; he followed me upon my career of triumph which I commenced through Europe. I would fly from you, only entwine your love like a transient dream in my life--and ever again it urged me to seek you; therefore I came here and stayed so long on the sh.o.r.es of the northern lakes. It drew me to your native land, to your own home. I visited your Castle while you were absent; then I tore myself away from the glowing dreams of my longing--for almost two years I lingered in Russia. Owing to no fault of mine, Baluzzi had lost all traces of me for a considerable time; he had been guilty of some breach of the laws in Russia, and was, I know not why, banished to Siberia, but he discovered me again, and, like a leech, he clung to my heels.

"My increasing fame gave me the _entre_ to good society, I gained the friends.h.i.+p of princes and princesses. Intercourse with Baluzzi could only injure my name. Little as he fulfilled his duties as a chorus singer in Florence, he was known as one of those musical a.s.sistants who stood upon a subordinate step of the ladder of art, in those circles I had risen far above his horizon. I often let him feel it, and he rebelled with double defiance against my 'impudent overbearing.' Yet he saw that, for his own sake, he must not disturb my career; he agreed only to see and speak to me secretly, and before the world to a.s.sume the semblance of friends.h.i.+p; he often came after dissipated entertainments and a.s.serted his rights, rousing my anger.