Mad Part 21

"O, yes, yes, you rich; but we poor? No. We must live, and eat and drink, and have clothes; and Jean, there, has ruined me in medicine.

What do we want with favourites, we poor? But that they help to keep us, I would sell the dogs. We are all slaves here, we poor; and we sell ourselves, our work, our hands, our beauty, some of us,--is it not so?

and you rich buy,--or we starve. It is a bad world for us old and ugly.

I am not like the doll upon the floor down-stairs."

A sharp angry glance pa.s.sed between mother and son, as the former rose from her seat, and with a short quick step left the room, driving back the dogs as they tried to follow; while it was evident that her words jarred painfully upon the curate. "Our beauty, some of us," seemed to ring in his ears again and again, and he could not help a.s.sociating these words with the latter part of her speech.

"How do you get your birds, Jean?" said the curate, making an effort, and breaking the silence.

"From him," said the young man, nodding across the court to where Bill Jarker sat half out of his trap-door, still keeping up his pigeons, for a stray was in sight, and he was in hopes of an amalgamation, in spite of the efforts being made by neighbouring flights. "From him: he goes into the country with his nets--far off, where the green trees wave, while I can only read of them. But the book; did you bring the book?"

Thinking of other birds breasting their prison-bars: now of the fair bright face that he had seen at the window below, now of that of the cripple before him, the curate produced a volume from his pocket, and smiled as he watched the glittering eyes and eager aspect of the young man, as, hastily grasping the volume, he gazed with avidity upon the t.i.tle.

"You love reading, then, Jean?" said the curate.

"Yes, yes," cried the cripple. "What could I do without it? Always here; for I cannot walk much--only about the room. Ah, no! I could not live without reading--and my birds. She is good and kind," he continued, nodding towards the door; "but we are poor, and it makes her angry and jealous."

The lark burst forth with one of its sweetest strains as it heard its master's voice, and then, rising, the curate left the attic, closing the door after him slowly, and peering through the narrowing slit to look upon the cripple eagerly devouring a page of the work he had brought.

The Frenchwoman was upon the first landing, and saluted the curate with a sinister meaning smile as he pa.s.sed her and thoughtfully descended.

"But he is mean, I tell you," cried _ma mere_ angrily, as she once more stood beside her son. "What does he give us but words--words which are worth nothing? But what is that? My faith, a book he brought you? You shall not read; it makes you silly, and to forget your mother, who does so much for you. But I will!"

"Ah!" cried Jean, painfully starting from his seat, and s.n.a.t.c.hing back the volume, and just in time, for the next moment would have seen it flying from the open window.

"Then I will sell the lark when you are asleep," cried the woman spitefully.

The youth's eyes glittered, as, with an angry look, he hissed between his teeth, "Then I will kill the dogs!" But the anger pa.s.sed from his countenance in a few moments, and smiling softly, he said, "No, no, _ma mere_; you would not sell my poor bird, because I love it, and it would hurt me;" and then, casting down her knitting, the woman sprang across the room, throwing her arms round the cripple, and kissing him pa.s.sionately, calling him by every endearing name, as she parted the hair from his broad forehead, and gazed in his bright dark eyes with all a mother's fondness.

But the curate heard nothing of this--nothing but the loud song of the lark, which rang through the house--as slowly and thoughtfully he descended the worn and creaking stairs, while the woman's words seemed to keep repeating themselves in a slow measured way, vibrating in his ears, and troubling him sorely with their cutting meaning; and more than once he found himself forming with his lips, "Our beauty, some of us."

Volume Two, Chapter VI.

SHADES.

The lark was silent once more; and now from the open door of the first-floor, rising and falling, with a loud and rapid "click, click, click," came the sound of Lucy Grey's sewing-machine--"click, click,"

the sharp pulsations of the little throbbing engine, whose needle darted in and out of the soft material held beneath it by those white fingers.

But as one of the stairs gave a louder crack than ordinary, the machine stopped, and the quiet, earnest, watching face of Lucy Grey appeared at the door, which she now held open, bowing with a naive grace in answer to the curate's salutation.

"My mother wished me to watch that you did not go down without seeing her to-day," said Lucy apologetically; for Mrs Hardon was far from well that week, and, since the long discussion that morning between old Matt and Septimus, she had been bemoaning her lot in a weak spiritless way, till, finding all his attempts at consolation of none effect, Septimus had taken his hat and gone out for a walk with his boy. To-day Mrs Septimus would be tolerably well; to-morrow, in a weak fit, exacting sympathy from husband and child in a way that would have wearied less loving natures. Now she would refuse food, upon the plea that it could not be afforded for her; consolation, because she was a wretched, miserable burden; and medicine, because she was sure that it would do her no good.

"Be patient with her, my darling," Septimus would say to Lucy--a needless request. "Think of the troubles she has gone through, and then look at me."

"What for?" Lucy would cry, laughingly prisoning him by seizing his scrubby bits of whisker in her little fingers, and then kissing him on either cheek,--"what for? To see the dearest father that ever lived?"

And then memories of the past would float through Septimus Hardon's brain as he smoothed down the soft braided hair about the girl's white forehead. But there were tearful eyes above the smiling lips, and Septimus Hardon's voice used to tremble a little as he said, "G.o.d bless you, my darling!"

"Our beauty, some of us," seemed vibrating in the curate's ears as Lucy spoke; but the bright look of welcome, the maidenly reserve, and sweet air of innocence emanating from the fair girl before him, seemed to waft away the words, and, returning to the present, he followed her to where Mrs Hardon was lying down. Drawing a chair to the bedside, he seated himself, to listen patiently to the querulous complaints he had so often heard before--murmurings which often brought a hot flush to Lucy's cheek as she listened, until rea.s.sured by the quiet smile of the curate--a look which told her how well he read her mother's heart, and pitied her for the long sufferings she had endured,--sickness and sorrow,--which had somewhat warped a fond and loving disposition.

Perhaps it was unmaidenly, perhaps wrong in the giver and taker, but, seated at her sewing-machine in the next room, Lucy would watch through the open door for these looks, and treasure them up, never pausing to think that they might be the pioneers of a deeper understanding. She looked forward to his visits, and yet dreaded them, trembling when she heard his foot upon the stairs; and more than once she had timed her journeys to the warehouse so that they might take her away when he was likely to call; while often and often afterwards, long tearful hours of misery would be spent as she thought of the gap between them, and bent hopelessly over her sewing-machine.

A long interview was Mr Sterne's this day, for Mrs Hardon was more than ordinarily miserable, and had informed him two or three times over that she was about to take to her bed for good.

"But it does not matter, sir; it's only for a little while, and then perhaps I shall be taken altogether. I'm of no use here, only to be a burden to that poor girl and my husband. But for me and the different fancies I have, that poor child need not be always working her fingers to the bone. But she will grow tired of it, and Mr Hardon's health will fail, and our bit of furniture will be seized; and I'm sure I'd rather die at once than that we should all be in the workhouse."

"But," said Mr Sterne, smiling, "don't you think matters might just as likely take the other direction? See now if it does not come a brighter day to-morrow, with a little mental suns.h.i.+ne in return for resignation;"

and he whispered the last few words.

Now there was some truth in what Mrs Septimus Hardon said; for had it not been for her liking for strange luxuries when her sick fits were on, Lucy need not have worked so hard. At other times Mrs Hardon was self-denying to an excess; but when in bed, probably from the effort of complaining, her appet.i.te increased to a terrible extent, and she found that she required sticks of larks roasted, fried soles, oysters, pickled salmon, or chicken, to keep her up, while port-wine was indispensable.

But if she had preferred ortolans to larks, game and truffles to chicken and oysters, if the money could have been obtained she would have had them. And many a day Septimus and Lucy dined off bread-and-cheese, and many a night went supperless to bed, that the invalid's fancies might be gratified.

The conversation went on, and Lucy at her work more than once raised her eyes; but when her mother's complaints were like the last, she bent her head, and the tears she could not restrain fell hot and fast upon the material before her.

"What have I to hope for?" moaned Mrs Hardon, taking refuge in tears herself when she saw how Lucy was moved. "What have I to hope for?"

"Hope itself, Mrs Hardon," said the curate firmly. "You suffer from a diseased mind as well as from your bodily ailment; and could you but come with me for once, only during a day's visiting, I think you would afterwards bow your head in thankfulness even for your lot in life, as compared with those of many you would see."

"Yes, yes, yes, I know," sobbed the poor woman; "but don't be angry with me. I know how weak and wicked I am to murmur, when they study me as they do; but when I am like this, this weary time comes on, I am never satisfied. Don't--don't be angry with me."

Mrs Hardon's sobs became so violent that Lucy hurried to the bed and took the weary head upon her breast; when, drawing his chair nearer, the curate took the thin worn hand held out so deprecatingly to him.

"Hus.h.!.+" he whispered; and as he breathed words of tender sympathy that should awaken her faith, the mother looked earnestly on the sad smile on the speaker's face, a smile that mother and daughter had before now tried to interpret, as it came like balm to the murmuring woman, while to her child it spoke volumes; and as her own yearned, it seemed to see into the depths of their visitor's heart, where she read of patience, long-suffering, and crushed and beaten-down hopes.

All at once a heavy step was heard upon the stairs, and Lucy started from her mother's side as a loud rough noise called "Mrs Hardon! Mrs Hardon!" But before she could reach the door of the other room, the handle rattled, and the curate could hear a man's step upon the floor.

"Hus.h.!.+" exclaimed Mrs Hardon, "it must be a letter;" and involuntarily, as he rose from his chair to leave, the curate had to stand and listen, gazing upon Lucy, who stood in the middle of the next room, now flooded with light from the suns.h.i.+ne which streamed through staircase window and open door, and he could not but mark the timid face of the girl as she stood wrapped as it were in the warm glow.

But it was no letter, only Mr William Jarker, who, invisible from where the curate stood, was telling Lucy in familiar easy tones that his "missus wanted to see the parson afore he went."

As Mr Sterne stepped forward and saw the ruffian's leering look and manner, and the familiar sneering smile upon his coa.r.s.e lips, he s.h.i.+vered and turned paler than was his wont before knitting his brows angrily, while, troubled and confused, Lucy looked from one to the other as if expecting Mr Sterne should speak.

But the look made no impression upon Mr Jarker, who directed a half-laugh at Lucy, and then, nodding surlily towards the curate, he turned, and directly after there came the sounds of his heavy descending steps as he went down, leaving the room impregnated with the odour of the bad tobacco he had been smoking.

"Our beauty, some of us," rang in the curate's ears once more, and like a flash came the recollection of the meeting he had witnessed in the street. His mind was in a whirl with thoughts that he could not a.n.a.lyse; while as his eyes met those of Lucy, the girl stood with face aflame, trembling before him--looks that might have meant indignation or shame, as, with the smile still upon his lip, but so altered, the curate turned to go; but he stopped for a moment at the door, where out of sight of Mrs Hardon, he could again confront the shrinking girl with a long inquiring gaze; but trembling, agitated, with lips void of utterance, though parted as if to speak, Lucy stood back, her eyes now cast down, and, when she raised them once again, he was gone.

Then, with the colour slowly fading, to leave her face ashy pale, Lucy stood with outstretched hands, gazing at the closed door. Something seemed rising in her throat which she tried to force back, and it was only by an effort that she kept from crying out, as, falling upon her knees by a chair, she buried her face in her hands, choking down the sobs, lest her mother should hear; though she, poor woman, slowly turned her face to the wall, ignorant of her child's suffering, and slept.

And now again came ringing down the sweet clear trill of Jean's lark, till, worn out with the impetuosity of her grief, the poor girl raised her head, smoothed back her dark hair, and half-sitting, half-kneeling, listened to the strain.

The song ceased as suddenly as it had commenced, and the void was filled by a long, loud whistling; when, with lips set firm, and angry countenance, Lucy rose and stepped lightly across the room to her sewing-machine by the open window, where, raising her eyes, she could see Mr Jarker, pipe in hand, presenting himself once more as a half-length study, as he whistled and cheered on his flight of pigeons, which sailed round and round, till the whirring and flapping of their wings brought up early days of her childhood, and Lucy seemed to gaze upon some half-forgotten woodland scene in the country, with ring-necked stockdoves crowding on a bending branch after their return from flight.

But no such visions floated before the mind's eye of Mr Jarker, for his pipe was out; so, ceasing his whistle, he proceeded to ignite a match upon the blackened pipe-bowl, screening the tiny flame between his hands till the tobacco was in a glow--all the while in happy oblivion of a pair of indignant flas.h.i.+ng eyes that rested upon him till their brightness was once more dimmed by tears. Heedless, too, was Mr Jarker of the strange sardonic leer directed at him from the attic-window opposite his own, where _ma mere_, with her dim grey eyes, glanced at him from time to time as she busily knitted, or stabbed her ball of worsted; for Mr Jarker was evidently interested in what was taking place beneath him, as he glanced through his trap from time to time.

And now once more, with rapid beat, rose the "click, click, click," of Lucy's sewing-machine, as, flas.h.i.+ng in and out of the fine material the needle laid in its chain-like st.i.tches; but Lucy Grey's finely-st.i.tched lines were far from even that afternoon.

Volume Two, Chapter VII.

WITH MRS JARKER.

Always at the call of the poor of his district, the Reverend Arthur Sterne sighed as, slowly descending towards the court, he tried to drive away the words that seemed to ring in his ears; but in vain, for the next moment he was muttering them once more; and the thought came upon him that, for many months past, he had been gazing at the Hardon family through a pleasant medium--a softening mist, glowing with bright colours, but now swept away by one rude blast, so that he looked upon this scene of life in all its rugged truthfulness. He told himself that the mist had once opened to afford him a glimpse, while again and again he smiled at the folly which had led him to expect romance in a London court. The pleasant outlines and softened distance, toned down by the light mists, were gone now, and he gazed upon nothing but the cold, bare reality. It was strange; but he did not ask himself whether the bitter blast might not have brought with it some murky, distorted cloud, whose shade had been cast athwart the picture upon which, he now woke to the fact, he had dearly loved to gaze; and still muttering to himself, he slowly went down step by step.

"So young, so pure-looking! But who could wonder, living in this atmosphere of misery? But what is it to me?" he cried angrily; for strange thoughts and fancies came upon him, and his mind was whispering of a wild tale. The thoughts of the past, too, came--of the happy days when, in early manhood, he had loved one as fair and bright--one whom another bridegroom had claimed, as having been betrothed to him from her birth. The cold earth had been her nuptial-bed, and he, the lover, became the gloomy retired student until his appointment to a city curacy, and the devotion of his life to the sorrows of the poor. But again he bit his lip angrily, at making the comparison between the dead and the living. What connection was there between them, and of what had he been dreaming? What indeed! After years upon years of floating down life's stream,--a calm and sad, but placid journey, unruffled but by the sorrows of others,--he now awoke to the fact that unwittingly he had halted by a pleasant spot, where he had been loitering and dreaming of something undefined--something fraught with memories of the past; and now he had been rudely awakened and recalled to the duties he had chosen.