Mad Part 7

`Halves!' I cry, with the world: we share the blame between us. I've been foolish: I've given way good-humouredly in the squeeze for place, and everyone has pushed by me and got in front. Now, sir, what ought I to have done, eh? Why, told the world that I was a big man; caressed those who believed me, and kicked and bullied those who did not. I ought to have shoved my way through the crowd; and what would have followed, eh? why, people would have pushed again and grumbled; but they would have given way until I got a good standing. Now look at that man, sir,--Hardon, sir, a gentleman every inch of him, but as helpless and unbusiness-like as a baby. Why, he'll starve, sir, before he'll ask for help, if his father don't send. `More fool he,' says the world. To be sure: what business has he with a heart and feelings and nerves, that make him flinch because he has got an ugly sh.e.l.l over his beautiful works, and so feels every slight put upon him. Why, he's just one of those men who would go in despair and make an end of himself; and then you have your inquest, and people say `How shocking!' and never stop to think that such things keep on happening every day; and will, too, so long as the world goes round; and I'm blest sometimes if I believe that it does go round, sir, or else things would come right in time for everybody. But they don't, for they mend worse every day. Here we are, with one man rolling in riches he never did a stroke to gain, and don't even know the value of; and here's Septimus Hardon, with a sick wife, and with hardly common necessaries. I might have introduced myself to your notice, sir, but present company is always excepted. The fact of it is, sir, that things are all wrong; and though I've been studying the matter these twenty years I can't see how to put 'em all right."

Old Matt drew a long breath, for he had been speaking loudly and with vehemence; and now, upon reaching another post, he began gesticulating fiercely, for he had warmed to his subject.

"But if I had time, sir, I'd go into the matter, sir. I'd take the poor man as he stands, and the rich man as _he_ stands; and I'd--"

"Now, come; that's about enough for one night, anyhow. I don't mind a little, now and then, but they'll be hearing of you acrost the square d'reckly."

"I'd take him, sir," continued Matt, "and hold him up for the whole world--"

"O, ah! all right," said Matt's interrupter, the policeman on the beat; "I dessay you would; only the world wouldn't look at him. For why?

'cause the world's too busy. Good-night, old chap."

"Good-night," said Matt, cooling down suddenly, and shuffling off in a quiet spiritless way, the fire out, and his head bent as he thrust his hands in his pockets. "Ah, he's about right; so he is. `The world's too busy!' so it is; and I ain't got a morsel of snuff left."

Volume One, Chapter X.

BROTHERLY LOVE.

"There, there, there; sit down, sit down, sit down!" croaked old Octavius Hardon as he cowered over a miserable fire in his paper-strewn room. "Sit down, sit down, sit down," he kept on repeating, after just glancing over his shoulder as his brother, sleek, pompous, and black-clothed, entered the room--"such a gentlemanly man," as the old women of Somesham declared over cups of tea. "Sit down, Tom," croaked the withered, dry old man, pulling his black skull-cap close down to his yellow ears, and peering sideways from under his s.h.a.ggy grey eyebrows at the chair he meant his brother to take. There was a dry, mocking sneer upon his thin lips, while the grey unshorn beard wagged and twitched about as he spoke, as, without taking further notice of his visitor, he made his chair scroop on the worn carpet as he dragged it closer to the fire and warmed his lean s.h.i.+ns.

Doctor Hardon slowly subsided into a seat, giving a hasty glance round the cheerless room as he did so, and then finis.h.i.+ng with a long curious look at the lean figure before him, with its wrinkled bony face and attenuated form showing through the faded dressing-gown drawn tightly round him, and tucked-in between his knees, while the trembling hands were stretched out over the fire.

"How are we?" said Octavius after a long silence, broken with an effort by his brother; "how are we? Shall I put out my tongue, Tom? Would you like to feel my pulse, Tom, and sound my chest, eh, Tom? Come and try, Tom, and perhaps I shall knock you down--you humbug, you; for I'm sound as a roach yet, Tom, and shall live a score of years. Only seventy-five, Tom; that's boyish, isn't it? Better than being sixty, and fat, and a humbug like you, ain't it? `How are we?' Ugh! drop that professional cant, or else stand up and rub your hands together softly, as you ought. What did you come for? Did you come to quarrel?"

"I came because you sent for me, sir," said Doctor Hardon with dignity, settling his chin in his voluminous white neckcloth and using a gold toothpick as he leaned back in his easy-chair.

"Sent for you--sent for you? Well, yes; so I did--so I did, Tom,"

chuckled Octavius; "but not to doctor me, Tom, nor to send `the mixture as before,' nor to send `the pill at bedtime and the draught in the morning.' No, Tom, no. How long would it take you to kill me decently, Tom, eh?--decently and respectably; eh, Tom, eh?"

"Fond of your joke as ever, Octy," said the doctor with a sickly smile.

"Just so, Tom; just so," croaked and chuckled Octavius; "but you are no joke, Tom. I'm not fond of you. Brande's bad enough, but you're a devil, Tom."

"I've been thinking of coming over to see you several times," said the doctor, trying to change the conversation; "and I should have called when pa.s.sing, only you will misconstrue my ways, Octy."

"Me? misconstrue? No, no, Tom, not I," chuckled Octavius; "I don't misconstrue. I believe you want to come, that I do. Now what's up, Tom, eh?" said the old man, fixing his keen grey eyes upon the doctor.

"You want money, Tom, don't you? But, there, you won't own to it like a man, but be indignant and offended. You've a soul above money, you have, Tom; and you wouldn't stoop to borrow money of your poor brother, Tom, even if he'd lend it to you."

The doctor moved uneasily in his chair, glancing again and again round the room, while his brother continued to watch him with his keen unflinching eyes.

"Yes, I sent for you, Tom,--I sent for you," continued Octavius; "but not to doctor me. I should be afraid of your not thoroughly understanding my const.i.tution, Tom, and overdosing me. But look here, Tom," chuckled the old man, leaving his seat and coughing drily, as, bent and failing, he crossed the room to a bureau and brought out a silver teaspoon and a bottle containing some dark liquid. "Look here, Tom," he said, reseating himself, and then pouring with trembling hand a portion of the liquid into the spoon, and in the act spilling a few drops over the side. "There," he said, smacking his lips after swallowing the fluid, and then stooping fumbling about in the fender for the stopper, that had slipped through his fingers.

"There, Tom, there; that's nectar, Tom; that's son, and daughter, and wife, and brother, and doctor, and friend, and everything but lawyer.

That's how I doctor myself, Tom; that's how I doctor myself. 'Tain't lawyer, Tom; but I can manage that myself and arrange about my few bits of things. You'd like my mourning-ring when I'm gone, wouldn't you now, my dear brother?"

Doctor Hardon did not speak, but again shuffled in his chair, glancing uneasily at the sneering face before him; and as he thought of the goodly lands lying fallow, and the tenements in ruins, belonging to his brother, he recalled a case where he had been one of the certifiers respecting the sanity of an elderly lady; and then he wondered whether his brother had made a will, and what it specified.

"That's how I doctor myself, Tom. That's a cure for every kind of ache, Tom; try it. It's good for runaway scoundrels of sons, and it's good for runaway daughters, Tom, and runaway nieces, Tom. It's good for everything, Tom; and I live on it," chuckled the old man. "I didn't want you for that, you see. You all left me; Septimus, and your jade of a girl, and you keep away; so I have it all to myself."

"You are not going to take any more of that now?" said the doctor, as his brother once more drew the stopper from the bottle.

"No, no; not yet, not yet, Tom," said the old man, placing the bottle on the chimney-piece. "Not yet, Tom, till after business. I wanted you about my will, Tom. D'ye hear? about my will."

Doctor Hardon could not conceal the start he gave at hearing this last sentence; but he made an effort, and began to take snuff from a ma.s.sive gold box.

"Ha, ha! I thought that would interest you, Tom," chuckled the old man, watching his brother narrowly, and shading his keen eyes with his hand.

"My will, Tom, my will, and what I shall do with my money; for I haven't a soul belonging to me; not a soul, Tom. So you were coming to see me, Tom, were you, eh? Then you want money, don't you? What have you been at, now? Mining-shares, eh? Just like one of your fool's tricks."

"Hadn't you better refer to your solicitor?" said the doctor with a.s.sumed nonchalance, and not noticing the latter part of the speech.

"What for--what for, eh? No, no; I can do what I want with little help; and I have had nearly all I want done; and you can do the rest. It's about money, Tom; and you always wors.h.i.+pped it--always--always. Now look here, Tom," he continued, going back to the bureau and taking out a large envelope; "that's my will, Tom, and I want it witnessed; d'ye hear, Tom?--witnessed. I've had it made for years; and it only wants another signature and then I think it will do, and it will be off my mind and be at rest; for I want to finish my reform work, Tom,--reform-- reform--reform. Now look here, Tom; but see first that there's no one listening at the door."

Doctor Hardon rose and went across the room upon the points of his toes, peered out into the pa.s.sage, closed the door silently, and then returned smiling, without having made a sound. But the smile of self-satisfaction at his successful management gave way the next moment to a look of astonishment, and then of anger, as Octavius exclaimed, "You sleek-looking, tom-cat humbug, you! I almost wish I had not sent for you--you treacherous-looking, smooth-coated rascal!"

Doctor Hardon turned almost purple with rage, but by an effort he choked it down.

"So you are, Tom; so you are," snarled the old man, watching him keenly, and enjoying his discomfiture; "but you can't afford to be affronted, Tom, can you?"

The doctor tried to laugh it off. "You always did love to tease me, Octy," he said, with a twist of his whole body, as if the mental torture shot through every nerve.

"Tease!" snarled the old man--"yes; call it teasing if you like; but look here," he said, drawing out the will, and folding it back so that only the bottom was visible--"bring that pen and ink, and come to the table here and sign;" and then he placed both hands tightly upon the paper, holding it down upon the table, and just leaving room for his brother to sign his name, all the while watching him suspiciously.

Doctor Hardon took the inkstand from a side-table, and placed it beside the will, glancing as he did so at the paper, but only to gaze upon the blank s.p.a.ce. He then drew out a morocco case, and set at liberty an elaborate pair of gold-rimmed spectacles, ignoring for the time being the hand some double eyegla.s.s hanging by a black ribbon from his neck.

The gla.s.ses were wiped upon a delicately-scented cambric handkerchief; there was a soft professional cough given as they were fitted in their place; and then, taking a fresh dip of ink, the doctor again advanced majestically towards the table.

All this while Octavius Hardon had been watching his every action with a cynical smile upon his withered face, apparently deriving great pleasure from the ostentatious performance of his brother.

"Why don't you purr, eh, Tom?" he snarled; "why don't you purr, eh?"

Doctor Hardon tried to laugh pleasantly, but it was only a fat copy of his brother's snarl; and then, once more dipping the pen, he leant over the table, placing a hand upon the paper, while at the same moment Octavius slid one of his own on one side, to give more room--perhaps to save it from touching the doctor's plump, white, beringed digits.

The lamp was shaded, and cast a light full down upon the paper; and as the doctor stooped to write, he suddenly started as if he had been stung, and then stood trembling and wiping the perspiration from his forehead.

"Humbug, Tom! humbug!" snarled his brother; "that's your baggage of a girl's name; but it don't upset you like that? What did you act like a brute for, and drive her away, eh? You did, Tom; you did!"

"But I cannot sign the paper without knowing its contents," stammered the doctor.

"Bah, fool! tom-cat! humbug!" snarled the old man, s.n.a.t.c.hing up the paper, and trying with trembling hands to force it back into the envelope. "It's my will, I tell you. There, be off!" and he began to shuffle back again to his chair.

"I'll sign," said the doctor reluctantly.

Octavius took not the slightest notice, only reseated himself.

"I'll sign the paper, Octy," said the doctor, in a tone of voice that seemed to prove his brother's words--that he could not afford to offend him.

"You can do as you like," croaked Octavius, shuffling the envelope into the breast-pocket of his dressing-gown, where it stuck out tantalisingly before the doctor, who would have given a week's income to have known its contents. "You can do as you like, Tom--as you like."

"I know that," growled the doctor, in an undertone; but the old man heard him.