Julius Caesar Chapter 47

Julius was now sitting upright, his muscular arms pus.h.i.+ng him up against the wall . His medium-lengthed, midnight-black, slick hair was pushed back and his transparent-green eyes studied me under his heavy eyebrows like they never did before . He looked at me like I'd lost it . Like I was talking in a different language .

"I did not kill Leonard . " He stated, his voice steady and his eyes wide and unblinking .

I screwed my face in anger . "A murderer and a liar!" I a.s.serted sarcastically . "I was in love with a madman!"

I thought Julius looked offended at my words but obscured it under a hearty laugh . "And I am in love with a naive woman . Does that make us even?"

I clenched my jaws despite the fire erupting in my gut at his confession . "I am not naive . You are mad . That will never make us even . "

He looked at me with a raised brow and a sincere smile through the hair that managed to fall over his left eye . He then tilted his head a bit before his smile just vanished and his eyes darkened . "But you are, darling . In fact-" He said, s.h.i.+fting in his place with a heavy sigh before his eyes darted up to mine and locked them in place . "In fact, you're very ridiculously naive . "

I scowled and pursed my lips into a thin line . I was offended by the freedom he gave himself to insult me . "There's nothing naive about coming here to kill the madman who killed my brother . "

I watched him smile, but that, apparently, wasn't enough for him . So he laughed loudly at my words, glanced at me, chuckled more with squeezed shut eyes, then stopped to smile dreamily with a soft sigh . "Are you even hearing yourself, love?"

He opened his eyes and directed them to me .

"Yes . I am . " I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes at him .

"Okay . " His voice was deep, playful and humiliating . "But, I might have a question . "

Heeding that I wouldn't reply, he continued with his despicable smile . "Why is your gun by your side?" He tilted his head . "Come on, love," he said with a weary sigh . "Come on!" I watched him lift his hand and wave it at me . "Do it! Lift my gun and point it where you wouldn't miss," he said with an impossible, lop-sided smile . "My head . " He whispered the last part and tried stifling a possibly wider smile .

"I actually will!" I blurted the words and he tilted his head to watch my hand that carried his gun . But it was like my arm got stuck by the intensity of his gaze and the heaviness of his voice on my lungs . I couldn't raise it at him as my heart pound hard in my chest and my cheeks caught fire .

"Alright," he then muttered with a disappointed sigh . "I'll make it easier for you . "

He then swiftly captured my eyes and smiled slightly, before swiftly getting to his feet . He then raised his eyebrows and his hands as if in surrender . He approached me casually, arms still raised, and I forced myself not to look at his bare chest . His chiseled torso . His prominent V-lines and unb.u.t.toned pants . But I looked and looked and gulped and gulped and gulped . I raised my eyes just in time to see his chest a few inches away from my face . I had to crane my head up to take a look at his face . At his taunting, beautiful smile . His teasing, dark-red lips . His pearly teeth and pointed canines . Then at his virid eyes, guarded by thick eyebrows and short, but extensive eyelashes .

It was a guilty pleasure looking at him .

He got closer and I shamefully let him . His body's heat was enough to make me sweat and falter . I then felt him gently hold my forearm and lift it for me . All that time I was staring at him doing what he was doing . I was watching him being amazing . I was watching myself fall in love with the charms of a mad boy . Again .

I shook my head and found myself holding his gun to his head . He then let go of me and hid his hands behind his head as a smile dared his lips to let it make an appearance .

Oh, and his arms' muscles were so hard to ignore, I thought . His strength, his intensity, his heat, and proximity were so hard to ignore . He stared at me, daring me to make a move with a playful brow raise and a slight smirk .

And I stared back at him speechlessly, before he rolled his eyes and dropped his arms to his sides . "Alright, love," he sighed boredly . "Let me make it even simpler . "

I continued studying him, my lips parted in antic.i.p.ation . He dropped his head so he could get a better look at me as I expressionlessly watched his features harden . He locked my eyes and I could see that any sense of humour or taunting was long gone . His breathing was fast and short and close and his hair cascaded down his forehead as he focused on me .

And I couldn't help thinking that if any of us leaned in just a bit, our foreheads would touch .

He was thinking, I also thought . Julius was thinking and I had no idea about what . And it irritated me that I couldn't comprehend him the way he did me . His mind, I thought, was a labyrinth . And only he could get through it without getting lost because at that moment, looking in his eyes, I felt so lost .

And I remember wanting to be an exception to this theory . I wanted to get in there, in his head, and walk alongside him in the aisles and aisles of all his thoughts and memories . I wanted him to point out his thoughts and explain them to me in his deep, consuming voice . Slowly . And I'd wait until we were through it all . And I'd love if he held my hand too . Because I didn't think I'd see light in this mind of his . I thought it was a dark, convoluted thing . And I thought holding his hand would somehow illuminate our way .

I shuddered at my fantasy and focused back on the situation at hand .

Julius looked completely serious to me as his thick, black eyebrows furrowed . His lips opened and I hoped they never did .

His voice was a low, steady rumble when he spoke . "I am Julius Caesar . The person who killed your father apathetically . And the person who killed nineteen other people just for the love of it . And I'm also the same person who almost killed his own brother the day you confronted me with who I am . I'm a madman . " He paused to check my expressionless face with hard, unreadable eyes . "I'm a murderer . " He enunciated with a lopsided, empty smile .

Yes, his mind was indeed a sinister, ominous thing .

I felt sick .

"I do bad things . And I do them very well . And you're supposed to hate me," he continued with a short breath . "-and put a bullet in my skull without thinking twice . But you cannot . " His voice hardened . "Because you love me . You love me and you hate it . You're scared of it . And every atom in you is ashamed of it . You're ashamed to have let your fingers intertwine with the same fingers I licked dead people's blood off . People I killed . You hate me, but you can't help loving me . " He licked his lower lip and closed his eyes as if searching inside his mind for something hidden, deep and away and forgotten .

And I remember that it was like I wasn't there . I was lost in his deep, hypnotic eyes . I was drowning in the silk that cloaked his voice, his every word, sigh, move . I was holding my breath without even thinking of my body's need for oxygen . I needed to exhale and inhale . But somehow staring at him being all s.a.d.i.s.tic and emotional, satisfied my needs . It made me forget .

And I was lowering my arm .

Julius had always been a closed book to me, I realized . He never allowed himself to unravel in front of me . To show who he really was . He never talked about himself . It was always me . And now, breathing shouldn't be what distracted me from this, this moment . This moment of harsh truth .

So I listened with clenched fists .

"You cannot resist me," was what he told me breathlessly . "And I hate it that you can't . " His voice was so soft when he whispered this . I remember . So soft to the extent that I had to close to my eyes to feel it in the depths of my ears and actually exhale .

"You cannot resist me," was what he told me breathlessly . "And I hate it that you can't . " His voice was so soft when he whispered this . I remember . So soft to the extent that I had to close to my eyes to feel it in the depths of my ears and actually exhale .

"I hate it because it's making it so hard for me to do what's right," he continued . "And just now you were sure that I killed your own brother . You were too sure . You were sure that I severed your own blood . And yet-" His eyes closed in despair, then opened to glance at the lowered gun . "-you cannot kill me . You cannot harm me . "

And somehow, his persistence that I 'loved' him and his need to be always right, irritated me . It irritated me so much . He shouldn't think of himself as my weakness, I thought . He wasn't allowed to think of me like that .

"You're disgusting," was what I spat at his close face as nonexpectant tears tumbled down my cheeks . And I was so shocked and was like, oh, wow, now you're crying poor thing .

But he didn't look offended at my words . In fact, he looked so sad . I'd never seen so much emotion written I

on his face like I'd seen it right now . I thought his face was a blank page when I first saw him . A very good-looking, blank page . And I thought that that was normal . That anyone smiling, laughing, talking would look like that . Empty . Echoing in their depth and vacancy .

But I saw children and adults smiling . They weren't like his smiles . They weren't lifeless . And I was afraid he was being fake . And I even hesitated to go out with him when I did the surgery . I was scared he still pitied me . But it turned out that this lifelessness, this emptiness, emanated from an inconceivable darkness woven in his soul .

It was tempting not to let my curiosity get the better of me at this moment . It was tempting not to ask for explanations and try to understand him . His darkness . This moment . This moment when emotion lit every line in his face .

How was he capable of doing this now? Showing so much emotion?

"And you're wrong," I added bitterly, nevertheless, ignoring the tearing tug in my heart . "I do not love you . I hate you . I hate you so much . "

And I did . I remember hating him so much at this moment . Hating him for this ugliness he withdrew from me, thus tricking me . Hating him for his callousness and apathy . Hating him for being a fatal weakness .

So his eyes continued torturing me with the truth they carried in their deep-green buckets . The knowingness they held in their spiralling depths . I had to avert my gaze from the intensity of his stare .

"I wish you did . " He then said with his s.h.i.+mmering greens and with a shaky breath as he staggered away from me . And then I realized that his warmth that once engulfed me was torn away and replaced by a cold, cold blanket .

I shuddered as I watched his back hit the wall . He was looking at the floor . His hair a perfect, thick, black curtain, concealing his face from me . He then slid down and sat on the floor . He was sitting like he did when I first saw him . Arms and legs sprawled and head bowed .

"Tell your Maxime," he muttered after a moment of silence . "Tell him that I didn't kill his brother . Tell him that it was my father's men who killed him . And that it was a mistake on my father's side . Tell him that my father thought that they had the doc.u.ments . And that I didn't get the chance to tell him that I had them . And that if he was ever planning on getting me killed," he raised his head to give me an overall glance . "-he better come and does it himself . " He dropped his head . "You, my love," he whispered softly, capturing my fluttering eyes and falling tears . And I swore my heart melted a bit . "-and your pathetic excuse of a brother-" he shut his eyes and turned away . "-are wasting my time . " His voice slowly lost its softness . It was suddenly harsh and demanding . It was like he flipped a switch inside him . "And I'd rather die than catch myself doing nothing . This is all ridiculous and useless to both of us . "

And I realized, he never opened his eyes as a giddy thought popped in my head . He probably couldn't say that looking at you, I stupidly thought .

But his voice was cruel and I should know better than being idiotic . I needed to not let no longer relevant emotions interfere with what I did like this . I needed to be so very careful .

"And now," he continued with a heavy sigh, still looking away . "Let me catch on the sleep I've been missing until someone releases me or takes me out of my d.a.m.n misery . "

And I thought, he was telling me to leave him alone . To get out of his face . And maybe, life .

And I thought, he was telling me to leave him alone . To get out of his face . And maybe, life .

I glanced at him one last time, but he never looked up . Angry at my uselessness and my humiliation, I stomped out of this 'bas.e.m.e.nt room', rushed past the guards and ran up the stairs barefoot . I didn't stop until I was on my bed, panting and choking on my tears .

---

I was sitting, staring at a huge, crystal chandelier and the crimson ceiling of the reception . I was also thinking about Amanda and Bianca and where they were and if they were okay when Maxime's deep, monotonous voice snapped me back to reality .

"He isn't dead . " He said very slowly and I had to look down to meet his cold eyes . They were two sharp knives poking my chest with the obvious . "Why?" His voice was a controlled almost angry whisper .

I let out a long breath that I didn't realize I was holding . "He isn't the one who killed Leo . "

Maxime raised his eyebrows . "Glad to know you had a little chit-chat, instead of killing him right off . " His voice was mean and breathy .

My heart managed to skip a beat at his accusing tone . "I did not have a chit-chat with him . " And I hoped I didn't turn the colour of the ceiling . "I confronted him with the truth . He didn't kill Leo . "

"Wait-" Maxime looked at me incredulously before chuckling with a snort . "You believe him? You believe a murderer?"

I averted my gaze, rubbed my left arm and got up from the fancy, scarlet armchair I was nestled on . I then trod to a nearby, huge, gla.s.s window that showed nothing, but stretches and stretches of darkness . And I suddenly felt fear's claws pierce my heart and maul my skin .

Looking outside this window reminded me of being blind .

"It was his father . " I found myself whispering . I then brought my fingers to my mouth . "He thought you still had the doc.u.ments . "

"So it's all still his fault, isn't it? Julius's?" Maxime's voice was strangled and I was scared to look at him . To see how much he detested Julius . To see how bad Julius was in his mercury-grey eyes . "He didn't tell his father that he had the doc.u.ments!"

"But it wasn't him who killed Leo," I repeated, closing my eyes, still not facing him . I let out a soft sigh as I heard him inhale sharply .

"This isn't enough reason to not kill him!" He exploded and I flinched slightly . I clenched my jaws .

I let my hands spread on the window's cool, gla.s.s pane . "I'm not a murderer, Maxy," I said, suddenly feeling angry at his persistence to kill him . "Killing him wouldn't bring Leo to peace . It'd only make me a murderer . Just like himself . "

"Well, G.o.ddammit!" He was very angry . I could tell from his rough voice and how thickened his accent became . And I didn't blame him . He couldn't take his brother's revenge .

"Relax, Maxime . " I reminded him as I brushed my chapped lips with my fingers . "We still have him . Locked . In the bas.e.m.e.nt . "

"Well, he is of no use to me . " He muttered in defeat . "I need his father . "
"Relax, Maxime . " I reminded him as I brushed my chapped lips with my fingers . "We still have him . Locked . In the bas.e.m.e.nt . "

"Well, he is of no use to me . " He muttered in defeat . "I need his father . "

My eyes widened and my breath hitched . "How will you do that? Are you going to let Julius go?"

And I realized that I didn't like the idea of him not being here . It was like I wanted him locked here forever . I was oddly satisfied by his proximity .

"No, Samantha, dammit, no . " His tone was insulting, but I didn't say a thing as anger built up in me . "We'll hold him hostage . His father should come looking for him . And you should tell him that . You should tell him that his father will pay the price . Torture him by letting him know that his father will be on the verge of dying . And all he will be able to do is sit there and do nothing about it . "

I clenched my fists, took a deep, steadying breath and turned to him . "How is his father going to know?" I glanced at his haggard appearance and surprised myself at the little sympathy I had toward him . It was nothing like the morning . I actually remember hating him at that moment .

He wore a black, crumpled, full-sleeved s.h.i.+rt and grey pants that were muddied on the knees . His hair was unkempt and his eyes were fierce . His lips were curled into a snarl and I thought that maybe it was permanent . Maybe he was always snarling . Maybe he made an effort to keep his lips in a straight, una.s.suming line . Maybe it killed him to smile .

He's worse than Julius, was what I allowed myself to think .

"h.e.l.l, he'll figure it out . " His snarl changed to a smirk and his voice was dripping in darkness and confidence . "Like he figured out where to find Leonard and I . He'll figure it out . "

He started pacing around in his dirty converse and I wondered how he dirtied himself that much .

"I hope so . " My voice was a broken whisper that stopped him from pacing . He turned to me and stared for a while . He then sighed heavily .

"Maybe you should go sleep, sissy . " He said and I raised my eyebrows curiously . "You look beaten . "

I stared more at his face . At the concern that printed itself on all his sharp features .

"I'm okay . " I croaked and he stifled a smile .

"It is two in the morning, Sam . " He chuckled and I almost frowned . "You need the sleep . You have a long day ahead of you . " He wore a teasing smile . "With Julius . " He then drawled out his name and I tightened my fists .

"You needn't remind me . " I almost snapped at him, but surely gave him a dirty look . "And I was going to sleep anyway . "

His fake smile turned into a smirk . "Goodnight, Samantha . "

I glanced at him and almost bit my tongue to stop some words from escaping . I wanted to hurt him with them . And I wondered why and when did I suddenly feel so irritated with him and everything he said .

"Goodnight . " I pressed, nevertheless, bitterly and rushed past him . Julius was now sitting upright, his muscular arms pus.h.i.+ng him up against the wall . His medium-lengthed, midnight-black, slick hair was pushed back and his transparent-green eyes studied me under his heavy eyebrows like they never did before . He looked at me like Id lost it . Like I was talking in a different language . I did not kill Leonard . He stated, his voice steady and his eyes wide and unblinking . I screwed my face in anger . A murderer and a liar! I a.s.serted sarcastically . I was in love with a madman! I thought Julius looked offended at my words but obscured it under a hearty laugh . And I am in love with a naive woman . Does that make us even? I clenched my jaws despite the fire erupting in my gut at his confession . I am not naive . You are mad . That will never make us even . He looked at me with a raised brow and a sincere smile through the hair that managed to fall over his left eye . He then tilted his head a bit before his smile just vanished and his eyes darkened . But you are, darling . In fact- He said, s.h.i.+fting in his place with a heavy sigh before his eyes darted up to mine and locked them in place . In fact, youre very ridiculously naive . I scowled and pursed my lips into a thin line . I was offended by the freedom he gave himself to insult me . Theres nothing naive about coming here to kill the madman who killed my brother . I watched him smile, but that, apparently, wasnt enough for him . So he laughed loudly at my words, glanced at me, chuckled more with squeezed shut eyes, then stopped to smile dreamily with a soft sigh . Are you even hearing yourself, love? He opened his eyes and directed them to me . Yes . I am . I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes at him . Okay . His voice was deep, playful and humiliating . But, I might have a question . Heeding that I wouldnt reply, he continued with his despicable smile . Why is your gun by your side? He tilted his head . Come on, love, he said with a weary sigh . Come on! I watched him lift his hand and wave it at me . Do it! Lift my gun and point it where you wouldnt miss, he said with an impossible, lop-sided smile . My head . He whispered the last part and tried stifling a possibly wider smile . I actually will! I blurted the words and he tilted his head to watch my hand that carried his gun . But it was like my arm got stuck by the intensity of his gaze and the heaviness of his voice on my lungs . I couldnt raise it at him as my heart pound hard in my chest and my cheeks caught fire . Alright, he then muttered with a disappointed sigh . Ill make it easier for you . He then swiftly captured my eyes and smiled slightly, before swiftly getting to his feet . He then raised his eyebrows and his hands as if in surrender . He approached me casually, arms still raised, and I forced myself not to look at his bare chest . His chiseled torso . His prominent V-lines and unb.u.t.toned pants . But I looked and looked and gulped and gulped and gulped . I raised my eyes just in time to see his chest a few inches away from my face . I had to crane my head up to take a look at his face . At his taunting, beautiful smile . His teasing, dark-red lips . His pearly teeth and pointed canines . Then at his virid eyes, guarded by thick eyebrows and short, but extensive eyelashes . It was a guilty pleasure looking at him . He got closer and I shamefully let him . His bodys heat was enough to make me sweat and falter . I then felt him gently hold my forearm and lift it for me . All that time I was staring at him doing what he was doing . I was watching him being amazing . I was watching myself fall in love with the charms of a mad boy . Again . I shook my head and found myself holding his gun to his head . He then let go of me and hid his hands behind his head as a smile dared his lips to let it make an appearance . Oh, and his arms muscles were so hard to ignore, I thought . His strength, his intensity, his heat, and proximity were so hard to ignore . He stared at me, daring me to make a move with a playful brow raise and a slight smirk . And I stared back at him speechlessly, before he rolled his eyes and dropped his arms to his sides . Alright, love, he sighed boredly . Let me make it even simpler . I continued studying him, my lips parted in antic.i.p.ation . He dropped his head so he could get a better look at me as I expressionlessly watched his features harden . He locked my eyes and I could see that any sense of humour or taunting was long gone . His breathing was fast and short and close and his hair cascaded down his forehead as he focused on me . And I couldnt help thinking that if any of us leaned in just a bit, our foreheads would touch . He was thinking, I also thought . Julius was thinking and I had no idea about what . And it irritated me that I couldnt comprehend him the way he did me . His mind, I thought, was a labyrinth . And only he could get through it without getting lost because at that moment, looking in his eyes, I felt so lost . And I remember wanting to be an exception to this theory . I wanted to get in there, in his head, and walk alongside him in the aisles and aisles of all his thoughts and memories . I wanted him to point out his thoughts and explain them to me in his deep, consuming voice . Slowly . And Id wait until we were through it all . And Id love if he held my hand too . Because I didnt think Id see light in this mind of his . I thought it was a dark, convoluted thing . And I thought holding his hand would somehow illuminate our way . I shuddered at my fantasy and focused back on the situation at hand . Julius looked completely serious to me as his thick, black eyebrows furrowed . His lips opened and I hoped they never did . His voice was a low, steady rumble when he spoke . I am Julius Caesar . The person who killed your father apathetically . And the person who killed nineteen other people just for the love of it . And Im also the same person who almost killed his own brother the day you confronted me with who I am . Im a madman . He paused to check my expressionless face with hard, unreadable eyes . Im a murderer . He enunciated with a lopsided, empty smile . Yes, his mind was indeed a sinister, ominous thing . I felt sick . I do bad things . And I do them very well . And youre supposed to hate me, he continued with a short breath . -and put a bullet in my skull without thinking twice . But you cannot . His voice hardened . Because you love me . You love me and you hate it . Youre scared of it . And every atom in you is ashamed of it . Youre ashamed to have let your fingers intertwine with the same fingers I licked dead peoples blood off . People I killed . You hate me, but you cant help loving me . He licked his lower lip and closed his eyes as if searching inside his mind for something hidden, deep and away and forgotten . And I remember that it was like I wasnt there . I was lost in his deep, hypnotic eyes . I was drowning in the silk that cloaked his voice, his every word, sigh, move . I was holding my breath without even thinking of my bodys need for oxygen . I needed to exhale and inhale . But somehow staring at him being all s.a.d.i.s.tic and emotional, satisfied my needs . It made me forget . And I was lowering my arm . Julius had always been a closed book to me, I realized . He never allowed himself to unravel in front of me . To show who he really was . He never talked about himself . It was always me . And now, breathing shouldnt be what distracted me from this, this moment . This moment of harsh truth . So I listened with clenched fists . You cannot resist me, was what he told me breathlessly . And I hate it that you cant . His voice was so soft when he whispered this . I remember . So soft to the extent that I had to close to my eyes to feel it in the depths of my ears and actually exhale . I hate it because its making it so hard for me to do whats right, he continued . And just now you were sure that I killed your own brother . You were too sure . You were sure that I severed your own blood . And yet- His eyes closed in despair, then opened to glance at the lowered gun . -you cannot kill me . You cannot harm me . And somehow, his persistence that I loved him and his need to be always right, irritated me . It irritated me so much . He shouldnt think of himself as my weakness, I thought . He wasnt allowed to think of me like that . Youre disgusting, was what I spat at his close face as nonexpectant tears tumbled down my cheeks . And I was so shocked and was like, oh, wow, now youre crying poor thing . But he didnt look offended at my words . In fact, he looked so sad . Id never seen so much emotion written I on his face like Id seen it right now . I thought his face was a blank page when I first saw him . A very good-looking, blank page . And I thought that that was normal . That anyone smiling, laughing, talking would look like that . Empty . Echoing in their depth and vacancy . But I saw children and adults smiling . They werent like his smiles . They werent lifeless . And I was afraid he was being fake . And I even hesitated to go out with him when I did the surgery . I was scared he still pitied me . But it turned out that this lifelessness, this emptiness, emanated from an inconceivable darkness woven in his soul . It was tempting not to let my curiosity get the better of me at this moment . It was tempting not to ask for explanations and try to understand him . His darkness . This moment . This moment when emotion lit every line in his face . How was he capable of doing this now? Showing so much emotion? And youre wrong, I added bitterly, nevertheless, ignoring the tearing tug in my heart . I do not love you . I hate you . I hate you so much . And I did . I remember hating him so much at this moment . Hating him for this ugliness he withdrew from me, thus tricking me . Hating him for his callousness and apathy . Hating him for being a fatal weakness . So his eyes continued torturing me with the truth they carried in their deep-green buckets . The knowingness they held in their spiralling depths . I had to avert my gaze from the intensity of his stare . I wish you did . He then said with his s.h.i.+mmering greens and with a shaky breath as he staggered away from me . And then I realized that his warmth that once engulfed me was torn away and replaced by a cold, cold blanket . I shuddered as I watched his back hit the wall . He was looking at the floor . His hair a perfect, thick, black curtain, concealing his face from me . He then slid down and sat on the floor . He was sitting like he did when I first saw him . Arms and legs sprawled and head bowed . Tell your Maxime, he muttered after a moment of silence . Tell him that I didnt kill his brother . Tell him that it was my fathers men who killed him . And that it was a mistake on my fathers side . Tell him that my father thought that they had the doc.u.ments . And that I didnt get the chance to tell him that I had them . And that if he was ever planning on getting me killed, he raised his head to give me an overall glance . -he better come and does it himself . He dropped his head . You, my love, he whispered softly, capturing my fluttering eyes and falling tears . And I swore my heart melted a bit . -and your pathetic excuse of a brother- he shut his eyes and turned away . -are wasting my time . His voice slowly lost its softness . It was suddenly harsh and demanding . It was like he flipped a switch inside him . And Id rather die than catch myself doing nothing . This is all ridiculous and useless to both of us . And I realized, he never opened his eyes as a giddy thought popped in my head . He probably couldnt say that looking at you, I stupidly thought . But his voice was cruel and I should know better than being idiotic . I needed to not let no longer relevant emotions interfere with what I did like this . I needed to be so very careful . And now, he continued with a heavy sigh, still looking away . Let me catch on the sleep Ive been missing until someone releases me or takes me out of my d.a.m.n misery . And I thought, he was telling me to leave him alone . To get out of his face . And maybe, life . I glanced at him one last time, but he never looked up . Angry at my uselessness and my humiliation, I stomped out of this bas.e.m.e.nt room, rushed past the guards and ran up the stairs barefoot . I didnt stop until I was on my bed, panting and choking on my tears . --- I was sitting, staring at a huge, crystal chandelier and the crimson ceiling of the reception . I was also thinking about Amanda and Bianca and where they were and if they were okay when Maximes deep, monotonous voice snapped me back to reality . He isnt dead . He said very slowly and I had to look down to meet his cold eyes . They were two sharp knives poking my chest with the obvious . Why? His voice was a controlled almost angry whisper . I let out a long breath that I didnt realize I was holding . He isnt the one who killed Leo . Maxime raised his eyebrows . Glad to know you had a little chit-chat, instead of killing him right off . His voice was mean and breathy . My heart managed to skip a beat at his accusing tone . I did not have a chit-chat with him . And I hoped I didnt turn the colour of the ceiling . I confronted him with the truth . He didnt kill Leo . Wait- Maxime looked at me incredulously before chuckling with a snort . You believe him? You believe a murderer? I averted my gaze, rubbed my left arm and got up from the fancy, scarlet armchair I was nestled on . I then trod to a nearby, huge, gla.s.s window that showed nothing, but stretches and stretches of darkness . And I suddenly felt fears claws pierce my heart and maul my skin . Looking outside this window reminded me of being blind . It was his father . I found myself whispering . I then brought my fingers to my mouth . He thought you still had the doc.u.ments . So its all still his fault, isnt it? Juliuss? Maximes voice was strangled and I was scared to look at him . To see how much he detested Julius . To see how bad Julius was in his mercury-grey eyes . He didnt tell his father that he had the doc.u.ments! But it wasnt him who killed Leo, I repeated, closing my eyes, still not facing him . I let out a soft sigh as I heard him inhale sharply . This isnt enough reason to not kill him! He exploded and I flinched slightly . I clenched my jaws . I let my hands spread on the windows cool, gla.s.s pane . Im not a murderer, Maxy, I said, suddenly feeling angry at his persistence to kill him . Killing him wouldnt bring Leo to peace . Itd only make me a murderer . Just like himself . Well, G.o.ddammit! He was very angry . I could tell from his rough voice and how thickened his accent became . And I didnt blame him . He couldnt take his brothers revenge . Relax, Maxime . I reminded him as I brushed my chapped lips with my fingers . We still have him . Locked . In the bas.e.m.e.nt . Well, he is of no use to me . He muttered in defeat . I need his father . My eyes widened and my breath hitched . How will you do that? Are you going to let Julius go? And I realized that I didnt like the idea of him not being here . It was like I wanted him locked here forever . I was oddly satisfied by his proximity . No, Samantha, dammit, no . His tone was insulting, but I didnt say a thing as anger built up in me . Well hold him hostage . His father should come looking for him . And you should tell him that . You should tell him that his father will pay the price . Torture him by letting him know that his father will be on the verge of dying . And all he will be able to do is sit there and do nothing about it . I clenched my fists, took a deep, steadying breath and turned to him . How is his father going to know? I glanced at his haggard appearance and surprised myself at the little sympathy I had toward him . It was nothing like the morning . I actually remember hating him at that moment . He wore a black, crumpled, full-sleeved s.h.i.+rt and grey pants that were muddied on the knees . His hair was unkempt and his eyes were fierce . His lips were curled into a snarl and I thought that maybe it was permanent . Maybe he was always snarling . Maybe he made an effort to keep his lips in a straight, una.s.suming line . Maybe it killed him to smile . Hes worse than Julius, was what I allowed myself to think . h.e.l.l, h.e.l.l figure it out . His snarl changed to a smirk and his voice was dripping in darkness and confidence . Like he figured out where to find Leonard and I . h.e.l.l figure it out . He started pacing around in his dirty converse and I wondered how he dirtied himself that much . I hope so . My voice was a broken whisper that stopped him from pacing . He turned to me and stared for a while . He then sighed heavily . Maybe you should go sleep, sissy . He said and I raised my eyebrows curiously . You look beaten . I stared more at his face . At the concern that printed itself on all his sharp features . Im okay . I croaked and he stifled a smile . It is two in the morning, Sam . He chuckled and I almost frowned . You need the sleep . You have a long day ahead of you . He wore a teasing smile . With Julius . He then drawled out his name and I tightened my fists . You neednt remind me . I almost snapped at him, but surely gave him a dirty look . And I was going to sleep anyway . His fake smile turned into a smirk . Goodnight, Samantha . I glanced at him and almost bit my tongue to stop some words from escaping . I wanted to hurt him with them . And I wondered why and when did I suddenly feel so irritated with him and everything he said . Goodnight . I pressed, nevertheless, bitterly and rushed past him .