Dolly Reforming Herself Part 3

_Pilcher._ Dilemma?

_Matt._ Did your Blanket Club remain in bankruptcy, or what must have been an even more distressing alternative to you, did Jobling continue to use bad language to his wife?

_Pilcher._ We struck a happy medium. My Blanket Club balance was considerably augmented, and Jobling's behaviour considerably improved under the stress of the fines.

_Re-enter_ HARRY _with an old, dusty collecting-box on which is printed in large letters, "County Hospital for Incurables."_

_Harry._ [_Placing the box on the table._] There! My name's Jobling for the present! By Jove! that was a very neat idea of yours.

_Pilcher._ Ah, by the way, I didn't give you Jobling's tariff----

_Harry._ Tariff?

_Pilcher._ Jobling's tariff for a mild little profanity like "By Jove,"

was a mere sixpence.

_Harry._ Oh! [_Feels in his pocket._

_Pilcher._ Of course you needn't adopt Jobling's scale.

_Harry._ Oh yes! I'll toe the mark! [_Takes six pence out of his pocket and puts it in his box._] I'm determined I'll cure myself of all these bad little tricks----

_Matt._ [_To_ DOLLY, _pointing to the money-box._] Are you going to contribute?

_Dolly._ [_Snappishly._] Perhaps, when I've paid off my bills.

_Matt._ [_To_ PILCHER.] Will you kindly let my daughter have your lowest tariff for ladies?

_Dolly._ Oh, please don't be in such a hurry. What about your own contribution? Mr. Pilcher, I hope you don't intend to let my father escape.

_Pilcher._ I understood Mr. Barron was prepared to risk a five-pound note that you and Mr. Telfer will not carry your New Year resolutions into practice?

_Matt._ With the almost certain chance of drawing a five-pound note from Harry and a new hat from Dolly.

_Pilcher._ I'm afraid I can't hold out those inducements. But I can offer you the very pleasing alternatives of chuckling over your daughter's and Mr. Telfer's lapses, or of contributing five pounds to an excellent charity!

_Matt._ H'm! Well I'll do my best to oblige you, Mr. Pilcher! Let me see!

[_Looking round, his eye falls on_ RENIE _and_ LUCAS _who, at the beginning of the above conversation have gone into conservatory at lower door, and now come out again at upper door. She has a hot-house flower in her hand, and they are eagerly absorbed in their conversation. The_ PROFESSOR _talking to_ HARRY _and not noticing._

_Renie._ [_Becoming aware that_ MATT _is watching them._] Yes, that arrangement of the stamens is quite unusual. It's what the gardener calls a "sport"----

_Lucas._ [_Examining the flower._] Jolly good sport, too!

_Matt._ I'm not sure that we haven't even better sport here----

_Renie._ [_Coming to him._] Sport? What sport? can we join?

_Matt._ That's just what I was going to propose. There are four of you here, who heard Mr. Pilcher's excellent discourse last night. And you are all determined to turn over a new leaf this year. Isn't that so?

_Dolly._ Yes!

_Harry._ I know I am.

_Matt._ Mrs. Sturgess?

_Renie._ Yes, indeed!

_Matt._ Lucas, you?

_Lucas._ Yes, Uncle.

_Matt._ On the first of January next, I am prepared to put a sovereign in that money-box for every one of you who can honestly declare that he has broken himself or herself of his bad habits during the year.

_Lucas._ I say, not all our bad habits?

_Matt._ H'm. I don't wish to be exacting--I've no doubt each of you has his own little failing or weakness. Well, come to me and say on your honour that you've conquered this or that pet special weakness--and in goes my sovereign.

_Lucas._ You don't really mean it?

_Matt._ Indeed I do. I hope you won't stand out and--spoil sport, eh?

_Lucas._ Oh, I don't mind coming in--just for the lark of the thing.

_Matt._ Then you all agree?

_Dolly._ Oh yes.

_Harry._ Certainly.

_Matt._ Mrs. Sturgess?

_Renie._ We don't know where we may be next Christmas.

_Dolly._ You'll be here with us. I invite you on the spot. You accept?

_Renie._ Yes, delighted, if my husband----

_Prof._ Very pleased.

_Matt._ Well, Mr. Pilcher, I think I've made your Blanket Club a very handsome offer.

_Pilcher._ Very handsome. [_Taking out watch._] I hope our friends will cordially respond, for the sake of my Blanket Club.

_Dolly._ You'll stay for a cup of tea?

_Pilcher._ I've heaps of New Year's calls to make. I'm afraid I must be going; good afternoon, Professor!

_Prof._ Good afternoon.