The Puritaine Widdow Part 3

NICHOLAS.

O Simon, what an oath was there.

FRAILTY.

If he should chance to break it, the poor man's Breeches would fall down about his heels, for Venus allows him but one point to his hose.

CORPORAL.

With these my Bully-Feet I will thump ope the Prison doors, and brain the Keeper with the begging Box, but I'll see my honest sweet Captain Idle at liberty.

NICHOLAS.

How, Captain Idle? my old Aunt's son, my dear Kinsman, in Capadochio?

CORPORAL.

Aye, thou Church-peeling, thou Holy-paring, religious outside, thou! if thou hadst any grace in thee, thou would'st visit him, relieve him, swear to get him out.

NICHOLAS.

a.s.sure you, Corporal, indeed-lam tis the first time I heard on't.

CORPORAL.

Why do't now, then, Marmaset: bring forth thy yearly-wages, let not a Commander peris.h.!.+

SIMON.

But, if he be one of the wicked, he shall perish.

NICHOLAS.

Well, Corporal, I'll e'en them along with you, to visit my Kinsman: if I can do him any good, I will,--but I have nothing for him. Simon Saint Mary Ovaries and Frailty, pray make a lie for me to the Knight my Master, old Sir G.o.dfrey.

CORPORAL.

A lie? may you lie then?

FRAILTY.

O, aye, we may lie, but we must not swear.

SIMON.

True, we may lie with our Neighbor's wife, but we must not swear wedid so.

CORPORAL.

Oh, an excellent Tag of religion!

NICHOLAS.

Oh Simon, I have thought upon a sound excuse; it will go currant: say that I am gone to a Fast.

SIMON.

To a Fast? very good.

NICHOLAS.

Aye, to a Fast, say, with Master Fullbelly the Minister.

SIMON.

Master Fullbelly? an honest man: he feeds the flock well, for he's an excellent feeder.

[Exit Corporal, Nicholas.]

FRAILTY.

Oh, aye, I have seen him eat up a whole Pig, and afterward fall to the pitt.i.toes.

[Exit Simon and Frailty.]

SCENE IV.

The Prison, Marshalsea.

[Enter Captain Idle at one door, and later Pye-board and old soldier at the other. George Pye-board, speaking within.]

PYE.

Pray turn the key.

SKIRMISH.

Turn the key, I pray.

CAPTAIN.

Who should those be? I almost know their voices.-- O my friends!

[Entering.]

Ya're welcome to a smelling Room here. You newly took leave of the air; ist not a strange savour?

PYE.

As all prisons have: smells of sundry wretches, Who, tho departed, leave their scents behind 'em.

By Gold, Captain, I am sincerely sorry for thee.

CAPTAIN.

By my troth, George, I thank thee; but pish,--what must be, must be.

SKIRMISH.

Captain, what do you lie in for? ist great? what's your offence?

CAPTAIN.

Faith, my offence is ordinary,--common: A High-way; and I fear me my penalty will be ordinary and common too: a halter.

PYE.

Nay, prophecy not so ill; it shall go heard, But I'll s.h.i.+ft for thy life.

CAPTAIN.

Whether I live or die, thou'art an honest George. I'll tell you--silver flowed not with me, as it had done, (for now the tide runs to Bawds and flatterers.) I had a start out, and by chance set upon a fat steward, thinking his purse had been as pursey as his body; and the slave had about him but the poor purchase of ten groats: notwithstanding, being descried, pursued, and taken, I know the Law is so grim, in respect of many desperate, unsettled soldiers, that I fear me I shall dance after their pipe for't.