King Arthur's Socks and Other Village Plays Part 15

SHE. (_faintly_) That's enough!

HE. And I could die for you and be glad of the chance. It's perfectly absurd, but it's absolutely true. I've never spoken to you before, and heaven knows I may never get a chance to speak to you again, but I'd never forgive myself if I didn't say this to you now. I love you! love you! love you! Now tell me I'm a fool. Tell me to go. Anything--I've said my say. . . . Why don't you speak?

SHE. I--I've nothing to say--except--except that I--well--(_almost inaudibly_) I feel some of those symptoms myself.

ME. (_triumphantly_) You love me!

SHE. I--don't know. Yes. Perhaps.

HE. Then kiss me!

SHE. (_doubtfully_) No. . . .

HE. Kiss me!

SHE. (_tormentedly_) Oh, what's the use?

HE. I don't know. I don't care. I only know that we love each other.

SHE. (_after a moment's hesitation, desperately_) I don't care, either! I do want to kiss you.

_She does. . . . He is the first to awake from the ecstasy_.

HE. It is wrong--

SHE. (_absently_) Is it?

HE. But, oh heaven! kiss me again! (_She does_.)

SHE. Darling!

HE. Do you suppose any one is likely to come this way?

SHE. No.

HE. (_speculatively_) Your husband is probably still in the portrait gallery....

SHE. My husband! (_Drawing away_) What do you mean? (_Thoroughly awake now_) You didn't think--? (_She jumps up and laughs convulsively_.) You thought poor old Tubby was my husband?

HE. (_staring up at her bewildered_) Why, isn't he your husband?

SHE. (_scornfully_) No!! He's my uncle!

HE. Your unc--

SHE. Yes, of course! (_Indignantly_) Do you suppose I would be married to a man that's fat and bald and forty years old?

HE. (_distressed_) I--I beg your pardon. I did think so.

SHE. Just because you saw me with him? How ridiculous!

HE. It was a silly mistake. But--the things you said! You spoke so-- realistically--about marriage.

SHE. It was your marriage I was speaking about. (_With hasty compunction_) Oh, I beg your--

HE. My marriage! (_He rises_.) Good heavens! And to whom, pray, did you think I was married? (_A light dawning_) To Maria? Why, Maria is my aunt!

SHE. Yes--of course. How stupid of me.

HE. Let's get this straight. Are you married to _anybody_?

SHE. Certainly not. As if I would let myself be made love to, if I were a married woman!

HE. Now don't put on airs. You did something quite as improper. You made love to a married man.

SHE. I didn't.

HE. It's the same thing. You thought I was married.

SHE. But you aren't.

HE. No. I'm not married. And--and--_you're_ not married. (_The logic of the situation striking him all of a sudden_) In fact--!

_He pauses, rather alarmed_.

SHE. Yes?

HE. In fact--well--there's no reason in the world why we _shouldn't_ make love to each other!

SHE. (_equally startled_) Why--that's so!

HE. Then--then--shall we?

SHE. (_sitting down and looking demurely at her toes_) Oh, not if you don't want to!

HE. (_adjusting himself to the situation_) Well--under the circ.u.mstances--I suppose I ought to begin by asking you to marry me. .

SHE. (_languidly, with a provoking glance_) You don't seem very anxious to.

HE. (_feeling at a disadvantage_) It isn't that--but--well--

SHE. (_lightly_) Well what?

HE. Dash it all, I don't know your name!

SHE. (_looking at him with mild curiosity_) That didn't seem to stop you a while ago....

HE. (_doggedly_) Well, then--will you marry me?

SHE. (_promptly_) No.