The First Hundred Thousand Part 34
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_It is with the greatest of pleasure that I take up my pen_--
It is invariably a pencil, and a blunt one at that.
Crosses are ubiquitous, and the flap of the envelope usually bears the mystic formula, S.W.A.K. This apparently means "Sealed with a kiss,"
which, considering that the sealing is done not by the writer but by the Censor, seems to take a good deal for granted.
Most of the letters acknowledge the receipt of a "parcle"; many give a guarded summary of the military situation.
_We are not allowed to tell you about the War, but I may say that we are now in the trenches. We are all in the pink, and not many of the boys has gotten a dose of lead-poisoning yet._
It is a pity that the names of places have to be left blank. Otherwise we should get some fine phonetic spelling. Our p.r.o.nunciation is founded on no pedantic rules. Armentieres is Armentears, Busnes is Business, Bailleul is Booloo, and Vieille Chapelle is Veal Chapel.
The chief difficulty of the writers appears to be to round off their letters gracefully. _Having no more to say, I will now draw to a close_, is the accepted formula. Private Burke, never a tactician, concludes a most ardent love-letter thus: "_Well, Kate, I will now close, as I have to write to another of the girls_."
But to Private Mucklewame literary composition presents no difficulties. Here is a single example of his terse and masterly style:--
_Dere wife, if you could make the next postal order a trifle stronger, I might get getting an egg to my tea.--Your loving husband_, JAS.
MUCKLEWAME, _No_. 74077.
But there are features of this multifarious correspondence over which one has no inclination to smile. There are wistful references to old days; tender inquiries after bairns and weans; a.s.surances to anxious wives and mothers that the dangers of modern warfare are merely nominal. There is an almost entire absence of boasting or lying, and very little complaining. There is a general and obvious desire to allay anxiety. We are all "fine"; we are all "in the pink." "This is a grand life."
Listen to Lance-Corporal M'Snape: _Well, mother, I got your parcel, and the things was most welcome; but you must not send any more. I seen a s.h.i.+lling stamp on the parcel: that is too much for you to afford_. How many officers take the trouble to examine the stamp on their parcels?
And there is a wealth of homely sentiment and honest affection which holds up its head without shame even in the presence of the Censor.
One rather pathetic screed, beginning: _Well, wife, I doubt this will be a poor letter, for I canna get one of they green envelopes to-day, but I'll try my best_--Bobby Little sealed and signed without further scrutiny.
V
One more picture, to close the record of our trivial round.
It is a dark, moist, and most unpleasant dawn. Captain Blaikie stands leaning against a traverse in the fire-trench, superintending the return of a party from picket duty. They file in, sleepy and dishevelled, through an archway in the parapet, on their way to dug-outs and repose. The last man in the procession is Bobby Little, who has been in charge all night.
Our line here makes a sharp bend round the corner of an orchard, and for security's sake a second trench has been cut behind, making, as it were, the cross-bar of a capital A. The apex of the A is no health resort. Brother Bosche, as already explained, is only fifty yards away, and his trench-mortars make excellent practice with the parapet.
So the Orchard Trench is only occupied at night, and the alternative route, which is well constructed and comparatively safe, is used by all careful persons who desire to proceed from one arm of the A to the other.
The present party are the night picket, thankfully relinquis.h.i.+ng their vigil round the apex.
Bobby Little remained to bid his company-commander good-morning at the junction of the two trenches.
"Any casualties?" An invariable question at this spot.
"No, sir. We were lucky. There was a lot of sniping."
"It's a rum profession," mused Captain Blaikie, who was in a wakeful mood.
"In what way, sir?" inquired the sleepy but respectful Bobby.
"Well"--Captain Blaikie began to fill his pipe--"who takes about nine-tenths of the risk, and does practically all the hard work in the Army? The private and the subaltern--you and your picket, in fact.
Now, here is the problem which has puzzled me ever since I joined the Army, and I've had nineteen years' service. The farther away you remove the British soldier from the risk of personal injury, the higher you pay him. Out here, a private of the line gets about a s.h.i.+lling a day. For that he digs, saps, marches, and fights like a hero. The motor-transport driver gets six s.h.i.+llings a day, no danger, and lives like a fighting c.o.c.k. The Army Service Corps drive about in motors, pinch our rations, and draw princely incomes. Staff Officers are compensated for their comparative security by extra cash, and first chop at the war medals. Now--why?"
"I dare say they would sooner be here, in the trenches, with us," was Bobby's characteristic reply.
Blaikie lit his pipe--it was almost broad daylight now--and considered.
"Yes," he agreed--"perhaps. Still, my son, I can't say I have ever noticed Staff Officers crowding into the trenches (as they have a perfect right to do) at four o'clock in the morning. And I can't say I altogether blame them. In fact, if ever I do meet one performing such a feat, I shall say: 'There goes a sahib--and a soldier!' and I shall take off my hat to him."
"Well, get ready now," said Bobby. "Look!"
They were still standing at the trench junction. Two figures, in the uniform of the Staff, were visible in Orchard Trench, working their way down from the apex--picking their steps amid the tumbled sandbags, and stooping low to avoid gaps in the ruined parapet. The sun was just rising behind the German trenches. One of the officers was burly and middle-aged; he did not appear to enjoy bending double. His companion was slight, fair-haired, and looked incredibly young. Once or twice he glanced over his shoulder, and smiled encouragingly at his senior.
The pair emerged through the archway into the main trench, and straightened their backs with obvious relief. The younger officer--he was a lieutenant--noticed Captain Blaikie, saluted him gravely, and turned to follow his companion.
Captain Blaikie did not take his hat off, as he had promised. Instead, he stood suddenly to attention, and saluted in return, keeping his hand uplifted until the slim, childish figure had disappeared round the corner of a traverse.
It was the Prince of Wales.
XX
THE GATHERING OF THE EAGLES
When this war is over, and the glory and the praise are duly a.s.signed, particularly honourable mention should be made of the inhabitants of a certain ancient French town with a Scottish name, which lies not far behind a particularly sultry stretch of the trenches. The town is subject to sh.e.l.l fire, as splintered walls and shattered windows testify; yet every shop stands open. The town, moreover, is the only considerable place in the district, and enjoys a monopoly of patronage from all the surrounding billeting areas; yet the keepers of the shops have heroically refrained from putting up their prices to any appreciable extent. This combination of courage and fair-dealing has had its reward. The town has become a local Mecca. British soldiers with an afternoon to spare and a few francs to spend come in from miles around. Mess presidents send in their mess-sergeants, and fearful and wonderful is the marketing which ensues.
In remote and rural billets catering is a simple matter. We take what we can get, and leave it at that. The following business-card, which Bobby Little once found attached to an outhouse door in one of his billets, puts the resources of a French hamlet into a nutsh.e.l.l:--
HeRE SMOKING ROM BEER WINE {WITHE {RAID COFFE EGS
But in town the shopper has a wider range. Behold Sergeant Goffin, a true-born Londoner, with the Londoner's faculty of never being at a loss for a word, at the grocer's, purchasing comforts for our officers' mess.
"Bong jooer, Mrs. Pankhurst!" he observes breezily to the plump _epiciere_. This is his invariable greeting to French ladies who display any tendency to volubility--and they are many.
"Bon jour, M'sieu le Caporal!" replies the _epiciere_, smiling.
"M'sieu le Caporal desire?"
The sergeant allows his reduction in rank to pa.s.s unnoticed. He does not understand the French tongue, though he speaks it with great fluency and incredible success. He holds up a warning hand.
"Now, keep your 'and off the tap of the gas-meter for one minute _if_ you please," he rejoins, "and let me get a word in edgeways. I want"--with great emphasis--"vinblank one, vinrooge two, bogeys six, Dom one. Compree?"
By some miracle the smiling lady does "compree," and produces white wine, red wine, candles, and--a bottle of Benedictine! (Sergeant Goffin always names wines after the most boldly printed word upon the label. He once handed round some champagne, which he insisted on calling "a bottle of brute.")
"Combine?" is the next observation.
The _epiciere_ utters the series of short sharp sibilants of which all French numerals appear to be composed. It sounds like "song-song-song." The resourceful Goffin lays down a twenty-franc note.
"Take it out of that," he says grandly.
The First Hundred Thousand Part 34
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The First Hundred Thousand Part 34 summary
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