The London-Bawd: With Her Character And Life Part 4

_For your small Stipend, I'll ne'er liv in Goal,_ _Go seek a Trull that can divide her Tayl:_ _One half I've Pleas'd, I one half am Paid:_ _Had I got all, I shou'd have longer Staid._ _And yet you cann't say I was Ungenteel,_ _For I let one _Kiss_ and the other _Feel_._

How pleas'd the disappointed Fop was with my Poetry, I know not; for I ne'er went again to my New Lodging to enquire after 'em.

_Well_, said the Goldsmiths Lady, _I ne'er heard of a prettier Intrigue before and I dare say you serv'd 'em very handsomely.--But pray proceed_.

Another time, I serv'd a Goldsmith's Prentice a pretty Trick; For having been abroad about some business, and coming home i'th' evening, a young Spark, exceeding Beauish, (with a New Modish Suit of Cloaths on) that had been drinking hard all Day, would need be picking of me up, when I did'nt at all intend it. But seeing him so earnest for a Bout, that I cou'd'nt get rid of him, I had him to a House I was acquainted with by th' way, and there after a heartening Cup or two, and having handled his Posteriours, to see he didn't put a Trick upon me, I let him have what he so eagerly desir'd; and diving into his Pockets i'th' mean while, I found he had but one poor single s.h.i.+lling left; which vext me so, that I resolv'd I wou'd be even with him another way; and therefore when he had done what he'd a mind to do, I presently call'd briskly for a fresh Bottle of the Best, which whilst we were drinking, I said _Well, Spark, as a Reward for your excellent Performance, which has been beyond my Expectation, and shew'd you to be a good Womans Man, I will divert you with an Entertainment worth your Seeing. Come, it shall cost you nothing; only I must beg the Favour of you to unrig, and lend me your Cloaths for half an hour; and I will bring you a Mant and Petticoat to wear the while; and you shall see a Jolly Crew of Active Dames, which will perform such Leacherous Agilities as will stir you up to take the other Touch, and far out-vie whatever has been either done, or related to be done, by Madam _Creswel_, Posture _Moll_, the Countess of _Alsatia_, or any other German Rope-dancer whatever._ The Spark was extreamly tickled with the Fancy, and presently uncas'd himself; and gave me all his Bravery, and was so over-forward, that he not only gave me his Cloaths, but his Rings, Cane, and Hat, and Wig; so that he left hinself nothing but his s.h.i.+rt and his Stockings; and the Mistress of the House being my Friend, I borrowed of her an old Mant and Petty-coat; which the Fool of a Fop put on. I told him I must intreat his Patience for half an hours time, till the Company was Drest, and so went down Stairs; and telling of my Friend how it went, and we being to go half Snips in the Booty, I went off with the things, which I p.a.w.n'd for about four Pounds, keeping his Rings to my self, and left my Landlady to manage the rest.

After the Disrobed Spark had waited for the s.p.a.ce of an hour with great Petience, and longing Expectation, for this Comical Show, and no Body came at him, his Patience was quite tir'd, and therefore knocking with his foot, the Maid of the House came up, of whom he enquired for such a Person, as well as he could, describing me. The Maid pretended an intire Ignorance of the matter, and so whipp'd down Stairs again. But he knocking again, up comes the Mistress, who seeming to take him for a Woman, ask'd him, _What he would have?_ He answer'd, _Such a Woman to whom he'd lent his Cloaths_; but she not only made her self Ignorant of the matter, but call'd him _b.i.t.c.h, Wh.o.r.e, Cheat, Pick-Pocket_, and all to nought, concluding her Harmonious Harrangue in this manner, _Ye dirty Drab, don't think to put your Cheats upon me: You came in here with a Spruce Young Man, and for ought I know you have Pick'd his Pocket, and sent him away, and now you go about to Cheat me of my Reckoning; but that shan't do ye _Wh.o.r.e_, for I'll have my Reckoning quickly, or else I'll Strip your Gown off your a.r.s.e_; but the poor Rogue having no Money to pay, she forthwith stript him of his Mant: And thus half Naked, in a Petticoat slit up to the Breeches; an old broken pair of Stays, and a few Ragged Head-Cloaths, he was kick'd down Stairs into the Street. _And being willing to know the end of this Comical Adventure, I had planted one to watch what he did: Who followed him at a distance till he went into an _Alehouse_ in _Foster-Lane_, where my Spy went in after him, and called for a Pot of Drink; and there heard him tell a Lamentable Story how he was robb'd by some _Foot-Pads_ (as he came from _Hampstead_, where he had been to see his _Uncle_) who had stript him of all his Cloaths, and given him those things to cover his Nakedness: The People of the House compa.s.sionated him very much, and lent him a Suit of Cloaths, Hat and Wig, with which he went to his Master's, who was a Goldsmith, and liv'd at the sign of the ---- in Cheapside.--And I appeal to you Madam, whether he wasn't serv'd in his kind._

_I think_, reply'd the Goldsmiths Lady, _you are very happy and Ingenious in all your Contrivances; and for ought I know, might have contributed more to reclaim him from those Courses, than all the Lectures and Sermons that could have been Preached against 'em; for one wou'd think he should have but little Mind any more to those Sweet Meats which were attended with such sower Sauce--But pray go on with the Story of your Life._

_Madam_, said she, having continued for many years with my Mistress, where we kept very good orders, and liv'd in Reputation also among our Neighbors, for we went constantly to Church, not only to make a shew of being Religious, but to expose ourselves to the view of the Gallants: For our Mistress or Governess always ordered us to follow her, and to take all opportunitiss, as we came down Stairs from the Galleries, or as we past over the Kennels in the Streets, to lift up our Coats so high, that we might shew our handsome Legs and Feet, with a good fine Worsted or Silk pair of Stockins on; by which means the Gallants would be sure either to dog us 'emselves, or else to send their Footmen to see where we liv'd, and then they would afterwards come to us themselves. By which means we have got many a good Customer. And when we came home from Church, we generally, if we had none of our Gallants with us, spent our time in reading of Play-Books, that we might know the better how to entertain our Guests with witty Discourses. Having, I say, spent several years in this calling, and got some Monys by me, our Mistress happened to Die; and I finding the Decays of Nature come upon me, and that I began to grow unserviceable, I bought the Goods and Furniture my self, and so kept others under me, as my Mistress had done before me. And drove that Trade in the same House (which was in St. _Thomas Apostles_) for many years, and might have been there still, had it not been for one Unfortunate Accident, which I'll next relate to you.

One Day a Gentleman in a very good genteel Habit, knocks at my Door, which I open'd my self, and ask'd him what he'd have? Upon which, coming in a Doors, Madam, says he, I understand that you are a Person Charitably Disposed, and do now and then help a Languis.h.i.+ng Lady, or a Love-sick Gallant: And therefore I took this Opportunity to Salute you, hoping that you will shew the same kindness to me, that you have done to others upon the same Considerations.--Sir, said I, you must give me leave to ask you some Questions before we enter into any further conversation--With all my heart, Madam, said he:--Then, said I, Pray who recommended you to me, on that account? I hope you don't take me for a Bawd? Nay, Madam, said he, pray don't affront me; Neither do I look like a Porter, common Soldier, or Lacquey, so as to stand in need of a Bawds a.s.sistance: Nor am I one of those who will take up with what the Street affords: For I a.s.sure you I don't eat _Baked Pudding_ or _Apple-Pye_ at _Holbourn-Bridge_, or such other Places, as common Carmen do. Nor, to be plain with you, Madam, said he, am I one of those Fellowes that usually Dine at any Greasie Ordinaries; and therefore I am for something fit for a Gentleman, and will pay accordingly. Very well, Sir, says I: I hope you will take nothing amiss; I see you are a Gentleman; but I have sometimes had Tricks put upon me, and therefore am as choice in the company I entertain, as you are in keeping your Company. Upon which account be not angry if I repeat my Question, Pray who recommended you to me? To which he reply'd, Madam, I thought you had not been so very scrupulous at this time of Day, when Money is so very scarce. But seeing you press me to it, I know that you help'd Esq; ---- to a very fine Mistress.--The Gentleman he Named, being one I was well acquainted with, and whose Necessities I had often supply'd with some of my First-rate-Frigots, as he used to call 'em; I had no more mistrust of him; and therefore taking him to be a Friend of his: Nay, now, said I to him, you begin to speak Sense. Be pleased to go along with me; and so lead him into a Room which joyn'd to my Parlour that was hung round with Pictures; representing all the Amours of _Ovid_'s Heathen G.o.ds; and amongst them were intermix'd several of those Ladies of Pleasure I kept in my House, drawn in very amorous and inviting Postures; One with her Golden Tresses dishelv'd upon her Shoulders & her Brests Naked; another was drawn putting on her Smock, a third tying her Garters, and a Fourth in the Arms of her Gallant: When he had well looked round about him, _Madam_, said he, _I perceive you have Entertainment to provoke the dullest Appet.i.te; and if you have really the Original of these Pictures, I don't much wonder that you insist upon good Terms. Therefore pray let me know what you expect to Oblige me with the dishelv'd Golden Locks._ Sir, said I, my lowest is a Guinea in hand, and a Guinea a Week for the Accomodation of my House; and taking care that you may have her ready for your use, so long as you continue my Pensioner: But as for her own Terms, I leave that to your self and her--_But_, said he, _may I not see the Person first, that I may be satisfied the Painter has not flatter'd her?_ Yes, Sir, said I, provided that you don't spend too much time before you come to a Conclusion.--_Leave that to me_, said he, _for you shall be no Looser:_ Whereupon I slipt out of the Room, and call'd one Mrs. _Gertrude_ (which was the Person he desir'd) who came in immediately; and going up towards the Gentleman, he desir'd her to sit down; and as I was a with drawing he call'd to me likewise, and told me he must discourse with us both, before he enter'd into any further Familiarity; and then, addressing himself to Mrs. _Gertrude_, said, _Well, my pretty Madam, what Gratification do you expect for your Company _per_ Week?_ She answer'd him, Two Guineas: _But_, said he, _What a.s.surance, Madam, shall I have that you will be my Sole Property during the time that you and I agree upon? And that you will not dispence your Favours, likewise to others?_ Nay, Sir, said I to him, if you intend to Monopolize her wholly to your self, you must raise your Price, or we cannot else Maintain our selves like Gentlewomen; and afford Accommodations fit for Gentlemen.

_Well, Ladies_, said he, _I will now pull off my Mask: You have both confessed your way of Living to me, and I have discover'd your Crimes, without being Criminal my self: And therefore not doubting but both of you pretend to be Christians, for I am told you go constantly to Church, I adjure you by his Name whom you profess, to tell me how you can answer it to him, or to your own Consciences, to Live in downright Disobedience to his holy Laws, and in defiance to the known Laws of the Land?_ With much more Preachment to the same Purpose, too long to repeat. I must Confess both my self and Mrs. _Gertrude_, were both struck with some Amazement at this unexpected Entertainment; And seeing her a little daunted, I answer'd, Sir, I shall quickly bring you those that will give you better Satisfaction. And so rise up to call in a couple of Men-Servants belonging to my House. Upon which he rise up likewise, and catching me by the Arm, pull'd out a short Constable's Staff, Commanding me to sit down, or otherwise I should find it was in his Power to take another Course with me.

This indeed increas'd my surprise, and made me a little mute for the Present; which he seeing, got between the Door and us, and then was so uncivil as to tell me, That I was a Vile Woman; and all the difference he knew between a Bawd and a Procurer, was only such as was between a common _Tom-t.u.r.d-Man_, and a Person of Qualities House-Maid, who Emptied _Close-Stools_: And then told Mrs _Gertrude_ that the difference between her and the Trulls that pli'd in the Streets, was no other then betwixt a common _Vau't_ and a Private _Close-stool_. Upon which she told him that his Comparisons were very odious; and that such Language didn't become a Gentleman: But he answer'd, That our Language wanted words to express the fulsomeness of our Crimes, calling us _Dogs_, and _Swine_, and _Goats_, and a deal of such _Billingsgate-Stuff_, till he had so provok'd my Pa.s.sion, That I told him boldly, That I didn't value his Fanatical Cant, for there were Men of better Sense than he, thought it no Sin; and that I knew the Opinion of the greatest Wits in the Town, in those things; and car'd not what a parcel of Canting c.o.xcombs said.--To which he reply'd, _My Coming hither was to do you good, and to turn you (if Possible) from your Wicked Courses; but seeing you are hardened in it, and will not be reclaimed, I will take care to have your Quarters beat up, and spoil your Trading here for time to come._ And so he left us.

This unexpected Adventure put us all to a stand. And after consulting what was best to be done, I resolved not to venture being expos'd, and so immediately with-drew, and took down all my Pictures, leaving only a Servant in the House for some days, to see whether he wou'd be as good as his word: and in three Days after, a Constable came with a Warrant to search the House for disorderly Persons; but finding only a Servant there, he told her he perceiv'd the Birds were flown. The search being over, some of my Women were for returning again; but I oppos'd it, as not judging it safe; and the Event prov'd it so; for the Day they design'd to have gone, there was another Search made, and a strict enquiry after what was become of us? Which made all to commend my Caution and Conduct.

This last Search made us look upon that Place as unsafe to go to again; for I perceiv'd that Disguis'd Constable was a busie Fellow, and wou'd be always Jealous of our Returning again. So I threw up my Lease of that House, and from thence came hither: Where I have continued ever since. And carrying a good Correspondence amongst my Neighbours, I have never been molested here, but when there is any Trade stirring, I have my share of it.

And thus, Madam, I have given you the History of my Life hitherto; which I have been more particular in, because of your Civility and Generosity towards me. And if you find at any time an occasion to make use of any Gentleman to supply any Deficiency you may meet with at home, or to gratifie your Inclination with a desire of Change I will be always ready to serve you to the utmost of my Power.

The Bawd having thus finish'd her Narration, the Goldsmith's Lady gave her many thanks, and told her that her Relation had been very diverting to her, _But_, said she, _there is one thing that I have had a mind to ask you two or three times and still forgot it._ Pray Madam, said the Bawd, What may that be? For I am very ready to resolve you in any thing I can--_That is_, reply'd the She-Goldsmith, _Whether or no these new Attempts for Reformation be not a very great hinderance to you in your Business? For I am told that some of the Members of the Society put themselves into all Shapes, that they may make a Discovery of such Houses. And I suppose he who disturb'd you at your other House might be one of them. And therefore methinks this should quite spoil your Trade: For as matters are now manag'd, how do you know who to Trust?_

To this the Bawd reply'd thus: As to what you say Madam, there is this in it, That it makes us use more Caution than we us'd to do. For we now admit of none into our Houses that are Strangers. But perhaps you may say, That I us'd a great deal of Caution with the other Person who was a Trapan before; which is really true enough; and when he mention'd to me Esq; ---- I thought I might very well have trusted him: But I'll tell you how that hapen'd; Esq; _S----_ had it seems been talking to some intimate Friends of his, of some very pretty Ladies that he had to do withal: For indeed being a good Customer, and paying very well, he had always the Cream of all that came to my House; being very much a Gentleman; and one whom I wou'd be glad to help to your Embraces, if you wou'd do me that Honour, and I am sure you cann't have to do with a Compleater Person, and one better fitted to serve a Woman. _You wou'd, make me have a Mind to him_, reply'd the Lady: Well, Madam, _said the Bawd_, ere it be long, I'll bring you two together. But, as I was a saying, he having told some intimate Friends of his, that he had the enjoyment of a very fine Lady: said one of 'em, _Prithee_ Esq, _who is't that helps you to these fine Ladies that you talk of?_ Upon this, not doubting but they wou'd keep his Counsel, he told 'em 'twas I that help'd him, upon such occasions; and one of these Gentlemen told another of his Comrades in the hearing of the Disguis'd Constable, who made that use of it I have already told you. But now, to prevent the like accidents, we admit no Strangers, unless they bring a Letter from the Person they are Recommended by, and therein an Account of the last time they were here. By which means we are very secure; and tho' the Society for Reformation, as they call it, does utterly Ruine all such as are Publick Houses of a.s.signation, yet our Trade is rather made the better by it; because here they may meet without Danger of being Exposed, as a Worthy Gentlewoman had like to have been not long ago, which might have been her Ruine, had she not fallen into the hands of Gentlemen.

_Pray how was that_, said the Goldsmith's Lady?

It is a Story worth your hearing, _reply'd the Bawd_; and if you please I'll give you the Relation of it, as I had it from one of the Gentlemen concern'd therein. _You will Oblige me very much_; answer'd the Lady.

Whereupon the Bawd thus began.

It happened that two Gentlemen belonging to the Army (of which the one was my Particular Acquaintance, and a good Customer to my House) taking Water at the _Still-yard_, was minded to divert themselves upon the River, by going up to _Chelsie_-Reach; where they sometimes met with pretty Ladies proper for their Purpose, But as they were going along, they perceived a very fine Gentlewoman in a rich Garb, in a _Sculler_, all alone; and also observed that she made the _Sculler_, who was a good likely Young Man, row her sometimes one way, and sometimes another, without going to any certain Place. This gave 'em occasion to Conjecture that she had appointed some Spark or other to meet her thereabouts, whose coming she expected with some Impatience; as they easily perceiv'd:

_For that which frets a Woman most,_ _Is when her Expectation's crost._

After she had near half hour in that manner fluctuated to and fro upon the silver Surges of _Thamesis_, like one of the _Nereides_, and found she was disappointed; she bid the _Sculler_ Land her at the _Three Cranes_, which he accordingly did; and the Gentlemen likewise order'd their _Oars_ to Land 'em at the same Place; and observ'd, after the Lady was Landed, that the _Sculler_ ask'd for his Money, and she bid him follow her; and after he follow'd her into _Thames-street_, he began to grumble, and told her he cou'd go no further, and therefore he wou'd have his Money; which she wou'd not give him whithout he went wither she was going, telling him she wou'd pay him for his time. This made the Gentlemen dog her, and soon after saw her go into the _Three-Cranes Tavern_, and the _Sculler_ after her; which the Gentlemen seeing, and (being resolv'd to know the bottom of this intrigue) follow'd them into the same Tavern; and bid the Drawer, if it was possible, let them have the next Room to that which the Gentlewoman had, who came in just before 'em with a _Waterman_ following her: The Drawer told 'em there was Company in the next Room then, but they were paying there Reckoning, and would be gone immediately; and in the mean time desir'd 'em to walk into a Box in the Yard, which they accordingly did; and whilst they sat there, they saw the Waterman go out again. Presently after the Drawer came and told 'em that the Room was now empty, which they forthwith went into, and had the conveniency through a hole in the Wall, to see the Gentlewoman unseen, who sat leaning her Arm upon the Table, in a very melancholy Posture, as one much dissatisfy'd; having a Gla.s.s of Wine before her, and Pen, Ink and Paper. Soon after the Waterman comes in again, and tells her the Gentleman had not been at home since Morning, nor did they know where he was. Where's the Note that I gave you, says she? Which he giving her, she took and tore it, and then burn'd it, Then taking the Gla.s.s, what's your Name, Waterman, said she? An't please you, Madam, my Name's _John_: Well, then honest _John_ here's to ye, says she; and drank off her Gla.s.s, and made _John_ fill a Brimmer and drink it off. And then _John_ offering to go, she said, No, _John_, you shan't go yet, I have something to eat, and you shall stay and eat with me: Don't be uneasie _John_, for I'll pay you well for your time. Presently up comes the Drawer and brings a _Lobster_ and a Piece of _Sturgeon_, with him; then bidding the Drawer bring a Quart of _Canary_ up, she ask'd _John_ whether he lov'd _Lobster_ and _Sturgeon_? Yes, very well, Madam, reply'd _John_, but they are too good for my common Eating. After the other Quart of _Canary_ was brought up, and the Drawer gone down, she bid _John_ come nearer and sit down; and at last having both eat and drank Plentifully, she pull'd _John_ close to her, and told him he look'd like a clever well-made Fellow, and ask'd him, if he did'nt think himself capable of doing a Ladies Business?

which put _John_ so much out of Countenance he did'nt know what to say to her: Upon which, first Embracing the Dull Fool in her Arms, Come, says she, let's see how well you're furnish'd: And then putting her Hand into his Breeches, _John_ began to think she was in Earnest, and made as bold with her; giving her what she wanted; and then calling for another Quart of Wine, and having drank and repeated their Amorous Embraces two or three times, she gave _John_ a Guinea; and told him she lik'd him so well, that she would go by Water with him that day Sennight; and charg'd him to meet her then at five a Clock, at _Paul's Wharf_; and she wou'd then give him such another Treat. Which _John_ promis'd her to do, and so went away very well Satisfied. The two Gentlemen who (unseen of her) had seen and heard all those Pa.s.sages; were resolv'd to make a further Discovery of the Gentlewoman and so dogg'd her home to her own House, which happen'd to be at a _Woollen-Drapers_ in St. _Paul's Church-Yard_. Having thus seen her at her own House they left her, and went to their own Lodgings.

The next Morning they went into _Paul's Church-Yard_ to make the Lady a visit, but past many times to & fro before the Door, but cou'd'nt get a sight of her. In the Afternoon they came again, and having waited up and down about an hour, they at last saw her in the Shop, and knew her to be the same Person: Whereupon going into the Shop they ask'd her to see some of the best _Scarlet-Cloth_, and whilst the other Gentleman was busie in choosing the Cloth, my Friend took an opportunity to tell the Lady what a Pa.s.sion he had for her, and how ready he wou'd be to serve her with the greatest hazard, and how he hop'd to be made happy with the enjoyment of her last Favours; but she seeming to be mightily affronted at his Discourse, told him, That if he did'nt leave off prating at that rate to her, she would call to her Man to Kick him out of the Shop: Which disdainful Carriage did so much exasperate him, that he replyed with some heat, Why Madam, do you think I cann't do your Business as well as _John_ did, at the _Three-Cranes_ Tavern in _Thame-street_, last Night? These words made her change as Pale as Death: Sir, said she, As you are a Gentleman, I hope you won't expose me: And I'll oblige you in what'e'er you ask me.--Chuse your Cloth, says she, and I'll come down to you presently.

And then going up Stairs she return'd again in two minutes, and put twenty Guineas into his hands, to pay for the Cloth, appointing to meet 'em at the old Tavern an hour after; which she did accordingly, gratifying both the Gentlemen with the same Favours she had bestow'd the Night before upon _John_ the Waterman, whose Nose these Gentlemen had put out of joint.--Judge you now, Madam, what a case this Gentlewoman had been in, had she fallen into other hands. But all such accidents are avoided by those that make use of such a House as mine.

The Bawd having made an End of her Discourse, after a little pause, The Goldsmith's Lady thus began:

_I return you many Thanks for the Relation of your Life: Your Advice before has sav'd my Reputation to my Husband and the World; which he who had first Tempted me to Lewdness, and overcame me through the Love of Money, would have afterwards Expos'd; for which I think my self oblig'd to you: But the Relation you have now given me, has Oblig'd me much more; for it has made me quite out of Love with the Trade you have all along follow'd; if for nothing else, because of the Dangers that attend it. For if you look back, and reflect upon your first going astray, it was full of danger and hazard; and how private so ever you thought you were in it, yet it could not escape your Husbands Jealousie and Mistrust; and at last, when you least suspected it, was fully discover'd by your Gallant himself. And that occasion'd your being turn'd out of Doors; and that taking all sense of shame from you, (as you well observed) exposed you to a thousand Temptantions; which being suited to your own Natural Inclinations, you presently closed withal; which in a little time was, it seems, attended by the Pox; and which besides, many times laid you open to the Cognizance of the Civil Magistrate; and made you afraid of every one you saw; which must needs be a very uneasy Life.--I can speak some thing of this by my own experience: For after I had given way to Mr. _Bramble_'s desires, and yeilded to his Unlawful Embraces, I was so full of Guilt, that when ever my Husband call'd hastily to me, or spoke in the least angrily, I thought it was to tell me of my playing the Wh.o.r.e with Mr. _Bramble_, my guilt still flying in my Face; so that I wou'd not be expos'd to the like Fears again, for double the value of what I receiv'd from him. But having been over come by him, the fear of his exposing of me, as I perceive he intended, had not you helpt me to prevent him, caus'd me to serve him as I did._--But you cannot imagine, (said she) what a Consternation I was put into the other Night, when a Constable that lives hard by us, and is one of the Society for Reformation, came to our House, and told my Husband he came to tell him of some Discoveries he had lately made, which were worth his hearing: My blood came all into my Face, and I did not question but that I was to be the Subject of his Discourse.

But when I had heard out his Stories, I was better satisfy'd: Tho' they were such as sufficiently declare the Danger, that such as you are dayly in, of being detected, as those were of whom he gave my Husband a Relation: Which indeed I thought to be diverting enough, as long as it did not concern me. For tho' we care not to be expos'd our selves, we are yet ready to take a kind of pleasure in hearing that others are so.

If it were not too great a trouble (said the Bawd) I should be glad to hear what those Discoveries were, that he made to your Husband; which perhaps may be of use to me in knowing how to prevent the like Disasters.

I shall esteem it no trouble (reply'd the Gentlewoman) to tell you any thing I can, that may be serviceable to you; especially, if it may but prevail with you to leave off a Calling that is so hazardous as well as wicked--But that will be more proper to discourse, when I have given you the Constable's Relation; and that I shall give you in his own words; which were as follows:

Being resolved, if possible, to prevent all that Debauchery that is acted in the Streets of this great City every Night, I dress'd up my self as like a Beau as possibly I could, and then taking my short Staff in my Pocket, I went t'other Night abroad, to see what Discoveries I could make: And as I went along the _Strand_, I met with a young Woman by the New _Exchange_, who pretending to stumble, catch'd hold of my Coat, to save her self from falling, and begg'd my Pardon for her Rudeness: I soon understood her meaning, and looking upon her to be one of those Cattle I was in quest of, I ask'd her whither she was going? She told me as far as _Sheer-Lane_, to an Aunt of hers, where she Lodged, and she should be glad of my Company; by which, being confirmed in what I before thought, I bid her go on, and I would follow her, which I also did: and coming to the place said he, I found there an old wither'd Bawd, who presently had us into a Room, and ask'd us what we wou'd drink? I told her what the young Woman pleas'd; who hereupon call'd for a Bottle of Ale. I told her I cou'd'nt drink, and therefore bid her call her Aunt to drink with her: The old Woman coming in, I bid her sit down, and ask'd her, how long she had follow'd that Trade; What Trade, Sir, says she? Of keeping Nieces, said I: For I understand you are this young Woman's Aunt. O Sir, said she, you are a merry Gentleman. I have followed this Trade of being an Aunt, ever since Age made me uncapable of being a Niece. That's a long Time ago, said I; but I believe it had been better for you to have gone a _Nurse-keeping_, then a _Neice-keeping_.

That's your mistake Sir, says she: For as old as I am, I had rather hear a young Girl and a brisk Spark Sing their Song by Turns, than to hear an old Man grunting a Bed, and be oblig'd to hang my Nose continually over a Close-Stool or a Chamber-Pot. A Gla.s.s of good Ale or Wine now and then, or a Dram of cool _Nantz_, is more chearing to my old Spirits, than to be sipping and tasting a little Stale Pearl Cordial or Juleps, or indeed any Apothecaries Slop. Well, said I, you are a cunning old Woman; but pray let me talk now to your Neice a little. Pray, how many such Aunts have you?

Why, truly Sir, said she, I have one at every corner of the Town, and lodge sometimes with one, and sometimes with another, as I have occasion. Well but, said I, had you not better go to Service then be burdensome to your Freinds? No, d.a.m.n it, says she, I had rather be my own Mistress, and go to Bed and rise when I will, then to be curb'd by every Snotty Dame. I remember once, said she, I met with an old Master, who had a Colts Tooth in his Head, and he would be smugling me, and kissing me in a corner, tho his Breath was enough to turn my Stomach: but for the sake of a rusty s.h.i.+lling now and then, I was content to humour him. But when once my Mistress came to know it, I had a Peal rung about my Ears, with the Tongs, and was forc'd to pack out of Doors. Another time, I met with a young Master, and an old Dame, and he wou'd always watch for an opportunity to catch me making the Bed when my old Mistress was abroad at Market, or else sat wrapt in Flannel by the Kitchen Fire; and with a thousands Langus.h.i.+ng Looks and soft Expressions, he would wish his Wife were as young and as handsome as I: or that she was dead that he and I might make a match on't. By which means I was betray'd to part with my Virgin-Treasure, and lick the b.u.t.ter off my old Mistresses Bread, with a very good Appet.i.te. At last, the rising of my Belly discover'd what I would willingly have conceal'd; this caus'd me to be turn'd out of Doors, and left to provide for my self and a Child. Which, when I was brought a Bed, I dispos'd to a poor Woman, who got her Living with it, by begging in the Streets. And then finding I cou'd'nt be free from Mens solicitations whilst a Servant, I e'en betook my self to the present Employment, wherein I meet with Men enough, and am at no care, to provide for Children.--When she had given an Account of her Life, said the Constable, I then thought it was time to reprove them. And, addressing my self to the Wench, said I, Would it not now have been a great Mortification to you, if instead of following you to your Lodgings, I had deliver'd you to a Constable, who had made you sit up all Night in the Round-house, and sent you next Morning to _Bridewell_, to beat Hemp for your Living. The young s.l.u.t nothing daunted by what I had said (says the Constable) presently pluck'd up her Coats, and told me she'd find me other Business to do. I seeing that pull'd out my Short Constables Staff, and told her she didn't know her Danger, and had therefore best forbear her Impudence, or I should quickly make her sensible that I had Power to punish her. This put both the Old Woman and her self into a great fright; and altering her Tone, she prayed me not to molest 'em and they would gratifie me any way imaginable. And the Old Woman prayed me not to be severer to her then others of my Office had formerly been: For, said she, this is not the first time that I have been threatted in this manner, and I never yet found a Constable, nor indeed scarce a Justice of Peace whom it was not in my Power some time or other to oblige, either by my Purse, or in the way of my Trade. For I have such fine Women at my Command, continued she, as are able to Charm the most insensible Persons. I then told them, says the Constable, That good Advice was meerly thrown away upon 'em, but I wou'd take another Course that was more effectual; and so (says he) calling the Watch, they were both sent that Night to the _Counter_> and the next day to _Bride-well_; where they are still beating Hemp. And this Course (said the Constable) I intend to take, as often as I meet with any of them.

When the Constable had made an End, my Husband and I both applauded his Conduct. And tho' I have once been overcome; yet I resolve never to be guilty of the like Folly again. Nor is it yet too late for you to repent _said the Goldsmith's Lady to the Bawd_; tho you have run through so long a course of Wickedness; which if you still continue in, will sooner or later bring you to certain ruine.

Well, said the Bawd, I thought to have serv'd you, by the way of Grat.i.tude, for your kindness and Liberality to me, in my way of Business: But seeing you are otherwise determined, I thank you for your Advice: and am very glad that by my Discourse and seeing the Errors of my Life, you may come to rectifie your own: My advice herein being the same with that of a late great Debauchee, that writ a Book of his Life,

_Read, but don't practice: For the Author finds_ _They that live honest, have most quiet minds._

FINIS.

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A Brief History of the Pious and Glorious Life and Actions of the most Ill.u.s.trious Princess, _Mary_, Queen of _England_, _Scotland_, _France_, and _Ireland_.

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The _Jerusalem Sinner_ Saved Or, good News for the Vilest of Men; being a Help for Despairing Souls.

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