Lye In Wait: A Home Crafting Mystery Part 35

1 cup colloidal oatmeal

11/a cup Epsom salts

Scant 1/4 cup dendretic salt

1/2 teaspoon liquid glycerin

1/2 teaspoon essential oil (lavender, orange, balsam peru,

sandalwood, fir needle, or rosewood)

In bowl large enough to provide plenty of stirring room, combine Epsom salts and dendretic salt. Stir together with a metal whisk. Dribble glycerin and essential oil over salts. Stir well with whisk. Add oatmeal and goat's milk and stir with whisk. This makes enough for at least three baths.

Dendretic salt helps avoid clumping and distributes the fragrance more thoroughly in the mix. The liquid glycerin does the same thing. Colloidal oatmeal suspends in the bathwater, and most pow dered goat's milk is full fat, which makes it very softening. For immediate use you can also make this without the dendretic salt and glycerin, and subst.i.tute nonfat dry milk and baby oatmeal cereal for the goat's milk and colloidal oatmeal. The result will be a little different, and you will have to rinse a little oatmeal fiber out of the bottom of the tub when you're done, but it's a wonderful, soothing soak!

EASY LIP BALM.

1 oz. beeswax

1h cup olive oil

1/4 to 1/ teaspoon essential oil-peppermint, spearmint, or

lemon

Melt wax and oil together over very low heat. Stir in essential oil and pour into small tins, lip balm tubes, or any other suitable, lidded containers. Allow to cool.

This recipe will fill about twenty-five .15 oz. lip balm tubes.

STOP'EM IN THEIR TRACKS LOTION BARS.

3 oz. beeswax

3 oz. coconut oil

3 oz. cocoa b.u.t.ter

Heat wax, oil and b.u.t.ter together over very low heat. Pour into six 2 oz. molds. Allow to harden and remove from molds. Given the 1:1:1 ratio of ingredients, it's very easy to increase or decrease this recipe.

Using non-deodorized cocoa b.u.t.ter gives the lotion bars a yummy chocolate scent, but if you can't find it you can add 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon of an essential oil or oil blend of your choice.

In addition to soothing "garden hands", try rubbing a lotion bar on rough feet and putting on cotton socks before going to bed.

SUPPLIER WEB SITES FOR INGREDIENTS, PACKAGING,.

AND LOTS MORE RECIPES!.

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If you enjoyed Lye in Wait, read on for an excerpt from the next Cricket McRae Mystery Heaven Preserve Us *

ONE.

"You DON'T HAVE TO fix any of the callers' problems; you just pa.s.s them on to someone else who can."

I nodded. "Got it."

"Okay, babe. I'll leave you to it. I'm going out back to have a smoke."

Smiling through gritted teeth, I tried to ignore the acrid stench of cigarettes that permeated his clothes. Philip Heaven could spend the whole evening toasting his lungs in the alley if it meant I wouldn't have to listen to him call me "babe" one more time in that gravelly, know-it-all voice. I'd handle every incoming call to the Heaven House Helpline if I had to. I mean, how hard could it be?

"Take your time," I said, aligning my list of referral numbers with the edge of the blotter and lacing my fingers together on top of the cheap laminate desktop. I glanced hopefully at the multiline phone.

"Thanks, babe." He pointed his finger at me and made a gunc.o.c.king sound with his tongue.

Yuck. Thank G.o.d, the phone rang. I reached to answer it.

After I referred a nice-but-scared-sounding lady to the next AA meeting in the bas.e.m.e.nt of the Cadyville Catholic Church, the phone was silent for several minutes. The whoos.h.i.+ng of tires across wet pavement on the street outside filtered into the s.p.a.cious old building where I sat, a comfortable, lulling sound. I'd worked my way to forty-two across on the Seattle Times Tuesday crossword only to puzzle over a six-letter word for an exclamation of annoyance when the phone rang again. This time I gave a runaway boy an 800 number he could use to find a safe place to stay down in Seattle. I felt pretty satisfied with the whole volunteer gig after that one and picked up the next call feeling helpful as all get out.

"I have the knife against my wrist. It s.h.i.+nes in the light. And it's cold. I bet this thing is so sharp I won't even feel it slice through my skin."

Uh oh.

I struggled to remember what I was supposed to say, but Philip's meager training hadn't prepared me for anything like this. Where was he? He couldn't still be working on that cigarette, could he? I mean, I hadn't really meant that about him hanging out in the alley all night. It was my first night manning the Helpline at Heaven House, and Philip Heaven was supposed to be mentoring me. Sheesh.

So I said the only thing I could think of. "Wait!"

"Why should I wait? I've been waiting my whole life to die."

Oh, brother. A philosopher. And a melodramatic one at that. "So have I," I said.

"What?"

I looked at the caller ID, so I could jot it down on the call sheet. It read Private Call. Great.

"I've been waiting my whole life to die, too," I said.

"You have?"

Yeah. Right along with all us other mortals.

Hush, Sophie Mae. He may be a moron, but he sounds pretty serious.

"But I'm not going to die today. And I'm not going to tomorrow, either, at least not if I get a vote in the matter," I said.

Silence.

"And neither should you. What's your name?"

"It's... just call me Allen."

"Okay, Allen, listen, I'm going to-"

"What's yours?"

"What's my what?"

"Your name."

"Allen, I need you to write down a number. This is someone who knows how to help you." "

I don't want another number. I want to talk to you. Tell me your name.

"Sorry, it's against-"

"I told you mine."

No, you didn't, I thought, but stopped myself before I said it out loud. Just call me Allen? That's not how you tell someone your name, for Pete's sake.