Roy Blakeley's Bee-line Hike Part 16

We had to go across one lawn, but a lady told us it was all right.

Pee-wee started to give her a lecture about the scouts but I grabbed him by the collar and made him come along. He rattled like an old junk wagon. The lady said he looked like Don Quixote. I don't know much about that fellow, but if I ever meet him I'm going to apologize to him for what she said.

Next we came to Main Street, named after the water main. By that time we had a crowd of kids at our heels again and everybody was staring at us.

I hope they liked us. A man let us go through his store and climb over the back fence and then we came out on the village green.

There's a band-stand on that village green and a whole crowd of kids climbed up into it so as to see us. Pee-wee looked mighty proud. A lot of grown people were standing around too, staring at us and laughing. I guess they thought our big sign looked pretty funny.

One man said, "Is the civilian population going to be spared?"

I said, "The civilized population is going to be spared, but if there are any ice cream cones in this berg they're going to die a horrible death. Plant our banner in the village green," I said to Warde, "and all gather around your gallant leader."

The man said, "How do you feel about peanut brittle?"

"No peanut brittle can get past us," I told him. "We eat it alive."

Oh, boy, there was some excitement. The next thing we knew a box of peanut brittle was going round. There was a crowd of people all around watching and reading what it said on our standard and laughing. Most always that's the way it is with people when they see scouts. Somebody kicked a grocery box over to where we were and the man called, "_Speech_, _speech_." I got up on the box and I said:

"Don't anybody be afraid, we're not going to hurt you."

A girl that was standing there said, "The idea! Did you ever hear of such a thing? _Hurt us?_ Do you think we're afraid of a patrol of boy scouts?"

I said, "You knowest not what thou sayest, girl. We've devastated the whole country from Blakeley's Hill to this spot. The only thing we've left alive is the gra.s.s. And even that we trod under our feet."

"We're _invincible_!" Pee-wee shouted. "Do you know what that is?"

"Do you think I haven't got a dictionary, Mr. Smarty?" she said.

I said, "Silence. Take a demerit. Where is the police department of this town?"

Somebody shouted, "He's home eating his supper. Do you want to go and see him?"

I said, "No, we want him to come and see us. Can't you see from our sign we're on a bee-line hike?"

Somebody shouted, "He's at supper. Do you have to see him?"

I said, "No, the army and navy will do just as well; we're not particular. Wait till I consult with my official staff."

I couldn't understand what my official staff said because his mouth was full of peanut brittle. "Here's the box, eat that too," I said.

Then I said good and loud, "We have an important communication to address to the police department. We've caught a bandit----"

"We've got him bound with fetters," the kid shouted.

"Give me that phonograph horn," I told him; "the crowd is growing bigger."

Good night, that was the end of me. I was superseded like a general in the third grade--I mean in history. There was Pee-wee standing on the grocery box, his aluminum cooking set all over the ground, shouting through the old phonograph horn at the top of his voice. A little way off I could see a cop coming across the green. I guess he was going to chase us off first, till he heard what Pee-wee was saying.

CHAPTER XXII

INVASION

Pee-wee had the floor; he had the whole green; I guess he had nearly the whole town. Anyway, he had all the peanut brittle there was left.

"We caught a bandit," he shouted. "He's got footprints. He's up in the top car of the ferris-wheel in Riverview Park. He's bound with ropes.

Even Detective Pinchem didn't catch him, but we did."

"Who put him up there?" somebody shouted.

"We did!" Pee-wee yelled.

"What's he doing up there?" a man called.

"He's trembling with fear," the kid shouted. "He fired seven hundred shots and got away with two dollars----"

"You mean seven hundred dollars," I said.

"We _foiled_ him!" the kid shouted.

"He's all wrapped up in tin-foil," I said.

The cop said, "What's all this nonsense, anyway?"

I said, "Are you the police department?"

He said, "Well, I think I am."

"You've got to be sure of it," Pee-wee shouted. "We can't deal with the civilized population."

"Do you think we're afraid of you?" that girl said, very scornful like.

"Hurrah for Pee-wee Harris," Dorry shouted.

"Do you think we're afraid of a boy named Pee-wee?" she said. "It sounds like a canary bird."

Pee-wee pointed the big horn right plunk at her and shouted through it, "_Do you call me a canary bird?_"

I nearly died laughing.

She said, "If I had a name like Pee-wee I wouldn't talk about dealing with the civilian population."

"That name doesn't belong to me," he yelled.

"He only rents it," Hunt said.