Robin And Ruby Part 8

"She hasn't turned up yet?"

"No."

"That seems bad."

"I called Dorothy, but I just couldn't tell her. It's Jackson's birthday today."

"Oh, boy."

At once, Robin finds himself expressing an idea only just making itself known to him: "What do you think about a road trip?"

"This doesn't have anything to do with Peter, does it?"

"No. Just you and me. Seaside Heights is just a few hours away, right?"

"Are you talking about tonight?"

"As soon as you get home."

After the briefest hesitation, George says, "You wanna drag me to the Jersey Sh.o.r.e, huh?"

"Believe me, I don't like the idea, either, but-"

George finishes for him. "Gotta do what you gotta do."

Robin hangs up the phone, and the air seems freshly voltaged. The time for waiting has pa.s.sed. He knows immediately what to do next: pack a bag with overnight clothes, pull a couple bottles of Diet c.o.ke from the fridge, fold his tips into his money clip. He makes a list of the relevant phone numbers, scavenges for dimes and nickels in case they need to use a phone booth. He finds a road map in a drawer.

He goes into George's room to grab some clean clothes to pack for him, too, in case they wind up staying overnight somewhere.

The bed is unmade, still. He can picture everything they did, unfolding all over again. Next to the bed is the K-Y Jelly. He replaces the cap, wipes it off, carries it back to his room, and finds his condoms. Before he can change his mind, he packs all of it with their stuff.

The last thing he does is find the letter from the university, in the pocket of his work pants. He smoothes it out. Rereads it. Congratulations...London...highly compet.i.tive...a true challenge. Congratulations...London...highly compet.i.tive...a true challenge. He understands that he hasn't given them his answer yet. He hasn't confirmed that he's actually going to do this. Why is he putting it off? He leaves the letter resting in a beam of sunlight, faceup on his desk. It seems to pulse with its own power. When he gets back from this trip, when he finds his sister-he will find her, he must, he absolutely must-he'll know what his answer is. He understands that he hasn't given them his answer yet. He hasn't confirmed that he's actually going to do this. Why is he putting it off? He leaves the letter resting in a beam of sunlight, faceup on his desk. It seems to pulse with its own power. When he gets back from this trip, when he finds his sister-he will find her, he must, he absolutely must-he'll know what his answer is.

He's clenching his jaw, he realizes, as if he's primed for a fight. A fight with whom? When he tries to envision his opponent, he sees only himself: two nights ago, at the restaurant, framed in the mirrored wall, sweating through his white s.h.i.+rt, doubled over a bottle of wine he is struggling to open, while everyone stares, waiting to see if this time he'll get it right.

PART TWO.

DOWN THE Sh.o.r.e.

Through dark gla.s.ses, Ruby watches a girl in a hot-pink bikini-crimped hair, bony body, viper face-rush through the living room, laughing and shrieking as she moves toward the front door. There's a guy in pursuit-burly but agile, dodging bodies, furniture, outstretched legs. "You're dead, you're so f.u.c.kin' so f.u.c.kin' dead," he shouts, through a big, sloppy grin. His yellow tank top is soaked, doused in beer. Ruby can smell it as he flies by. Then more flesh-another girl, another bit of skimpy summer clothing. She holds high a plastic cup, slos.h.i.+ng beer, ready to dump it on one of them. Voices from around the room cheer them on. One, two, three, they escape through the screened door, sucked into the afternoon sun. One of the girls shrieks from the front yard. The other laughs loudly. The all-weekend party is. .h.i.tting an early peak. dead," he shouts, through a big, sloppy grin. His yellow tank top is soaked, doused in beer. Ruby can smell it as he flies by. Then more flesh-another girl, another bit of skimpy summer clothing. She holds high a plastic cup, slos.h.i.+ng beer, ready to dump it on one of them. Voices from around the room cheer them on. One, two, three, they escape through the screened door, sucked into the afternoon sun. One of the girls shrieks from the front yard. The other laughs loudly. The all-weekend party is. .h.i.tting an early peak.

G.o.d-tell me, please, how I wound up here.

But she knows how it happened. Calvin wanted to. She came along. Same as always.

Remind me, G.o.d, why I said yes.

She sits on a lumpy love seat, squished between the sofa's hard, upholstered arm and her fidgety boyfriend. Calvin is carrying on a loud conversation about what else?-movies-with the guy on the other side. Calvin's a film student at Columbia and knows more about every movie ever made than anyone in the whole wide world. Ruby's heard it all before. She's struck by how out of place his snooty urban att.i.tudes seem here, at this frivolous beach party. Maybe he senses this, too, maybe only half-consciously, which is why he's getting louder. It's like biting a hangnail. You keep biting until you're nipping at the skin but you can't stop. She wishes her nails looked better. The black paint is chipping off. She studies the arm of the couch. The upholstery is a ragged, pilly, green-and-white plaid. The white part is discolored to a popcorny shade, and the green part, where her elbow wants to rest, is marked by a hard, flattened splat of chewing gum. She becomes transfixed by that gray wad, wis.h.i.+ng she could have witnessed the moment when it was left here. Just to see the person who did it, the kind kind of person who does something as vulgar as that. Was it deliberate vandalism? Or something casual: of person who does something as vulgar as that. Was it deliberate vandalism? Or something casual: Oops, meant to drop it in an ashtray, now it's stuck, might as well leave it. Oops, meant to drop it in an ashtray, now it's stuck, might as well leave it.

This beach house is a weird melding of things that have been neglected and things that someone spent money on. The furniture, which probably came with the lease, is battered and mismatched, but sprinkled throughout are the current renters' state-of-the-art stereo system and lots of fancy knickknacks. She sees the kinds of things that rich kids-one of them being Alice, Calvin's younger sister-bring to even the most downscale beach house. A huge, vintage poster of Casablanca Casablanca on the wall, expensively framed by bright white matte board. A polished silver martini shaker, possibly an antique, coated in condensation. A big spray of long-stemmed pink roses in a vase on an end table. Where did anyone get roses? Near this she sees two preppie-looking guys in a beer-chugging contest, egged on by the group circling around them. Ruby expects one of their elbows will send that bouquet cras.h.i.+ng onto the dirty, low-pile carpet. She'd get a kick out of that-except, for all she knows, she's sleeping on that carpet tonight. on the wall, expensively framed by bright white matte board. A polished silver martini shaker, possibly an antique, coated in condensation. A big spray of long-stemmed pink roses in a vase on an end table. Where did anyone get roses? Near this she sees two preppie-looking guys in a beer-chugging contest, egged on by the group circling around them. Ruby expects one of their elbows will send that bouquet cras.h.i.+ng onto the dirty, low-pile carpet. She'd get a kick out of that-except, for all she knows, she's sleeping on that carpet tonight.

She sits in a wash of afternoon light, so bright that she's left her cat-eye sungla.s.ses on. Sungla.s.ses in the middle of the summer shouldn't necessarily draw stares, but she's already overheard one girl say to another, "Maybe she's blind." What a b.i.t.c.h. Maybe I'll just leave my shades on for the whole weekend. Maybe I'll just leave my shades on for the whole weekend.

In a house full of tanned and sunburned bodies clad in neon swim-wear, she knows that she stands out. The black dye in her hair framing her frosty skin, her inky black Smiths T-s.h.i.+rt and black miniskirt up against the bare white of her arms and legs, her rubber-soled boots. The girls at this party are of the type who've sneered at and gossiped about her all her life, once because she was a quiet goody-goody too eager to please, and later because she reinvented herself as a cool outsider who didn't seem to notice them at all. Now they look at her and then look away. Most of them are younger than her-most of them are probably still in high school, or just recently graduated. High school is only a year in her past, but it seems like something she endured a long time ago.

Until she determines a good reason to get up, she's staying put on the couch, no matter how disgusting it is. Her hand, resting in her lap, is clutching a plastic cup of beer, which she has no taste for. The cup is half head-she has no idea how to properly fill up from a keg. The first gulp had the airiness of cotton candy and the sourness of French bread. When she licked off the foam, she tasted her own dark lipstick. The keg is on the front porch. She should have found the kitchen and poured herself a Diet c.o.ke.

G.o.d, please get me out of here quickly.

This is not a prayer, but the leftover habit of prayer, still holding on two years after she decided she was an atheist. She waited until her seventeenth birthday to announce that she'd no longer be attending ma.s.s-she'd been going every Sunday since Jackson's accident. She didn't explain herself, didn't need to. Her mother, her brother, her father-not exactly churchgoing people. Nana was the only one upset, but she didn't live nearby, so Ruby could just tuck that guilt away. Now "G.o.d" is just a placeholder. A way to contain a thought when the feelings are threatening to spill over-as they are now, with her annoyance at Calvin coming to a boil.

Calvin is raising his voice, so loud it's starting to sound like he's in an argument. Only thirty minutes at the party, already making enemies. The current topic seems to be that new movie, St. Elmo's Fire St. Elmo's Fire, which Calvin has called "a perfect example of Hollywood trying to crush youthful rebellion," and which the other guy is arguing "speaks for our generation."

Calvin says, "Those characters would never be friends with each other in real life. They take one from every walk of life and then put them all through the same pseudo-romantic plot machinations."

Ruby pipes up, "It's not romantic. Half the guys in that movie are stalkers."

"Exactly my point," Calvin shouts, though that didn't sound like his point to Ruby. "The quote-unquote bohemian character, the writer who keeps questioning the meaning of life, he's supposed to be in love with the boring girl in pearls. If you ask me, he should have been in love with her boyfriend."

"Man, that's just weird," the other guy says.

"It should be weird! It should be like life, which is messy and unpredictable!"

He's getting worked up, his body jerking and s.h.i.+fting and creating vibrations that Ruby feels in her ribs, her hips, her arm. She gulps her beer to avoid a spill. Already she feels the alcohol doing its work, warming her up. She feels a trickle of sweat slide toward her elbow.

"Look, man," the guy is shouting to Calvin above a synth-pop song that Ruby recognizes as the theme to St. Elmo's Fire St. Elmo's Fire ("Wanna be a man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels")-the likely trigger for this entire pointless conversation-"I'm not saying I ("Wanna be a man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels")-the likely trigger for this entire pointless conversation-"I'm not saying I like like this reality, okay? But after college, man, life is gonna this reality, okay? But after college, man, life is gonna force force us to make tough choices." us to make tough choices."

"That-" Calvin cries, rising up off the couch a few inches, "is exactly the brainwas.h.i.+ng bull bulls.h.i.+t I'm talking about! This movie makes you think your only real option is to f.u.c.king f.u.c.king settle down." His arm goes wide for emphasis, and for a split second Ruby sees a twinkle of sunlight on the silver bracelet at his wrist. Then- settle down." His arm goes wide for emphasis, and for a split second Ruby sees a twinkle of sunlight on the silver bracelet at his wrist. Then-wham-his elbow smashes into her beer cup just as she's taking a sip.

The cup crunches into a ring around her nose. Alcohol floods her sinuses, rushes down her throat. She gags and spits, shakes her head. It's like being jabbed inside her brain by two fat, wet fingers. Beer splatters her gla.s.ses, blurring her vision. The flattened cup lands in her lap. Her skirt is soaked.

"What happened?" Calvin asks, almost scolding her.

"Your arm happened," she says, rising to her feet, coughing, flinging droplets from her hands.

"Hey! How about a towel?" he calls out to no one in particular, to the room at large. She recognizes the tone of his voice, rank with the confidence of someone whose needs have always been attended to, by parents, by his sister, by tutors and hired help.

She removes her sungla.s.ses. Everything sharpens, becomes more defined, as if up until now it had all been a grainy movie on a far-off screen. Faces turn in her direction. A guy staggering nearby gets a look at her and says, "Nasty!" All of a sudden she is nine instead of nineteen. Small, confused, angry. These kids all around her, most of whom are younger than her, seem cool and worldly compared to the public mess she is.

She wipes wet snot from her nose and looks up at Calvin, nearly a foot taller than she is. Calvin, who has more or less ignored her since they got here, who hasn't yet introduced her to his sister, who made her fill her own cup from the keg, the very same cup he's just rammed in her face. He reaches his hand around her back and rubs her shoulder in little circles, asking, "Are you okay?"

She finally hears genuine concern in his voice, but he still hasn't found her a towel. She doesn't even know where the bathroom is, because they haven't gotten past the couch since they arrived.

Another guy steps up, a solid, jocky man-boy with a b.u.t.ton nose, thick neck, and dark, wavy hair. "I got ya," he says. He yanks his football jersey up and over his head. "Use this."

"Look, she's with me. I'll take care of it," Calvin says.

She takes the s.h.i.+rt and runs it across her cheeks and neck, dabbing at the excess, but she's so wet it doesn't really help. Her gaze lands on the guy's bare torso, rippled with dark curls, as muscular a body as she's ever seen this close up. She feels heat flare in her neck-she imagines he can see her blush. "Thanks," she says. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Through the kitchen," Calvin interjects, a long arm pointing through the crowd. "That's my guess."

"Stay here," she tells Calvin.

s.h.i.+rtless Guy steps closer. "Want me to show you, baby?"

He wobbles a bit, clearly buzzed, but he has her attention. His lips are red as punch and probably taste like wine. She imagines saying yes-yes, show me the way-and once there, pulling him in with her, closing the door and kissing him on the lips. He's a fantastic kisser, experienced, sensitive, the kind of guy who holds your head carefully in his palms while his tongue spreads your lips, the kind of guy with soft curls on his chest, soft like the fur on a big, gentle dog.

But Calvin's standing between them. Calvin whose chest is smooth as a girl's, a baby-soft surface too much like her own.

Last night, back in Manhattan, getting ready for the weekend but already regretting it, she found herself rehearsing a breakup speech. It had been months since she first understood that something was off. Something physical. She had started pulling away from his kisses-his tongue too hard, like a lollipop in her mouth, his lips too dry, like bread crust. She'd been offering instead her neck, her bare shoulder, any patch of flesh to satisfy him while she looked away and fretted. Last night, she'd looked into the bathroom mirror and mouthed the words, "I don't need a boyfriend, I need a lover." It was a word her brother used about the guy he was dating. Peter was Robin's lover lover. They were in love in love, they were having a love affair. love affair. She liked the sound of "affair," the way it held the word "air" inside it-lovers carried upon the air in a private chamber for two, whisked away to somewhere exotic. Calvin was the opposite of that, Calvin was earthbound and too familiar. She liked the sound of "affair," the way it held the word "air" inside it-lovers carried upon the air in a private chamber for two, whisked away to somewhere exotic. Calvin was the opposite of that, Calvin was earthbound and too familiar.

She pushes past the stained sofa, past a TV cabinet covered by a plastic tablecloth dotted with puddles of beer and melting ice. Into a dining room, where a noisy drinking game is in full force around a circular wooden table. Then a crowded kitchen. She has to knock into people to get past, muttering, "Excuse you, excuse you."

From behind her she overhears two girls she's just blazed past: "That goth chick just totaled her beer."

"Do you know her?"

"I think her boyfriend is Alice's brother."

"Alice has a brother?"

"Yeah, that tall freak?"

She steps into a dark hallway, mostly empty, no windows. She tries a door on either side-a linen closet with nothing on its shelves except frayed contact paper, then a bedroom with overnight bags piled chaotically along the walls.

She opens another door. Another bedroom. A handful of guys and girls are huddled over a small mound of what looks like cocaine. A half-dozen faces pivot toward her, like b.u.t.ton-eyed lemurs in the Central Park Zoo. "Oh, sorry." She pulls the door shut again.

At the end of the hall, a guy and a girl are making out in front of what must be the bathroom door. She takes her place behind them, leans against the wall, waits for her turn. She wills herself not to cry, she can feel something welling up. I'm stronger than this, I'm stronger than this, she thinks. She's sticky all over. she thinks. She's sticky all over.

She blames Calvin for this mess, but really it's herself she's angry at. Calvin told her Alice was renting a house down the sh.o.r.e, and that she was having "a few friends" over for "a little party." A perfect way for Ruby and him to escape the June humidity for the weekend, he said. But hadn't she pictured exactly what this party would look like-pictured herself in the midst of not a few friends a few friends but a big crowd? She knows the Jersey Sh.o.r.e. Her family spent the occasional summer weekend in towns like Seaside Heights, where they are now, and Wildwood. Boardwalks and packed beaches. Motel rooms with icy air conditioning that carried the whiff of mildew. She used to gaze out the window of their Plymouth at teenagers draped over the porches of rental houses. Longhaired guys air-guitaring to amplified music, girls in bikini tops and cut-off denim shorts, all of them glugging from plastic cups like the one that just smashed her in the face. Her mother disapproved of these people, which was enough of a reason, as a young girl, to be fascinated by them. But she hasn't been that girl for a long time. but a big crowd? She knows the Jersey Sh.o.r.e. Her family spent the occasional summer weekend in towns like Seaside Heights, where they are now, and Wildwood. Boardwalks and packed beaches. Motel rooms with icy air conditioning that carried the whiff of mildew. She used to gaze out the window of their Plymouth at teenagers draped over the porches of rental houses. Longhaired guys air-guitaring to amplified music, girls in bikini tops and cut-off denim shorts, all of them glugging from plastic cups like the one that just smashed her in the face. Her mother disapproved of these people, which was enough of a reason, as a young girl, to be fascinated by them. But she hasn't been that girl for a long time.

Still, she let herself be persuaded by Calvin. Pressured by his constant need to be told he was right. Always right.

When she first started dating Calvin, she liked that he too felt alienated from other teenagers, their so-called peers peers. He was the tall guy in the ratty overcoat, hiding his Nordic bone structure and gray eyes behind messy, greasy, white-blond hair. The one who smoked British cigarettes while arguing over coffee at midnight after a film at the Bleecker Street Cinema. He got easily upset about politics-nuclear winter, Third World intervention, anything to do with Ronald Reagan-and he said the way to dissent was not at the voting booth but through "cultural production." He reminded her a bit of her brother in his outspokenness, though Robin had a daring side that Calvin only imagined he possessed. He railed against "the new morality" but didn't seem especially interested in s.e.x, and this was fine with Ruby. She had made it clear she wasn't ready to go all the way all the way, thankful that in this one area, he didn't put pressure on her. She wasn't really sure why. She might even give over to her suspicion that he might be gay, if he weren't so fixated on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

At Columbia he'd made a couple of short films-"critiquing the seduction of advertising," he said. She'd starred in a scene for him, sitting on a toilet seat under a single high-watt clamp-light in only her bra and tights, brus.h.i.+ng her hair while reciting Foucault. She'd had fun doing it-the whole shoot felt stupid and glamorous-but she couldn't really defend the film when students in Calvin's workshop accused him of being pretentious. (And maybe the criticism made an impact. Calvin was now working on a more traditional script, set in the world of downtown nightlife. He hadn't yet shown it to her, though he'd mailed her brother a copy. She wasn't sure if she felt insulted by that or not.) She never pointed out to him the contradiction of a so-called anticapitalist living off the dividends of his family's stock portfolio. The problem with Calvin, she had finally figured out, was that underneath it all he was just a spoiled boy. Unable to pick up after himself, used to having things done for him, always expecting expecting. Expecting her to agree with him when he got worked up about a particular topic-and if she disagreed, expecting that she'd eventually be persuaded, or least stymied, by his arguments. It had begun to wear her out. Spending time with your boyfriend isn't supposed to feel like a battle.

And so last night, she had rehea.r.s.ed that sentence about needing a lover, but she didn't say the words out loud. Didn't want to hurt his feelings. She told herself a weekend down the sh.o.r.e might be a fun vacation. She could ignore the party and play in the surf, like she used to with her brothers when she was little, salt water on her lips, her skin turning pink in the sun.

And that's what they did, for a little while this morning. She and Calvin went to the beach first. Calvin found parking near the boardwalk in one of those lots where an old retiree in a lawn chair collects the money and keeps an eye on the cars while deepening his lifelong leathery tan. They paid for their beach badges at a wooden stall that reminded her of the one Lucy sat in, in the Peanuts Peanuts cartoons, with her sign announcing "The Psychiatrist is In. Five Cents." On the sand, they found a spot amid the endless sprawl of bodies-bodies on blankets, in fold-up chairs, under umbrellas or exposed to the sun, baking their oily flesh. Kids ran in every direction, radios blared the local "hits" station, and the occasional piece of garbage-a soda cup or a Doritos bag-tumbled along the sand, sometimes chased by a conscientious bather but often just carried by on the breeze, ignored by all as someone else's problem. Seagulls whined, circling above garbage pails stuffed with sc.r.a.ps from lunches. cartoons, with her sign announcing "The Psychiatrist is In. Five Cents." On the sand, they found a spot amid the endless sprawl of bodies-bodies on blankets, in fold-up chairs, under umbrellas or exposed to the sun, baking their oily flesh. Kids ran in every direction, radios blared the local "hits" station, and the occasional piece of garbage-a soda cup or a Doritos bag-tumbled along the sand, sometimes chased by a conscientious bather but often just carried by on the breeze, ignored by all as someone else's problem. Seagulls whined, circling above garbage pails stuffed with sc.r.a.ps from lunches.

She stripped down to a bikini, black and relatively modest, bought just for this weekend. Calvin told her she looked like Bettie Page. He peeled off his jeans to reveal old, plaid Bermuda shorts underneath. He left his long-sleeved s.h.i.+rt on and sat up, knees bent, a book balanced there. Eros and Civilization. Eros and Civilization. She knew Calvin wouldn't go in the water, so she wandered in by herself. She was cautious, afraid of getting knocked over by a wave-aware of her childhood fear of riptides, of a sudden injury. She kept herself in proximity to a family, a young father and mother wrangling a handful of kids diving in and out of the cras.h.i.+ng waves. But when she looked back she saw that Calvin had indeed kept her in his sights, peering out over the top of his book. She knew Calvin wouldn't go in the water, so she wandered in by herself. She was cautious, afraid of getting knocked over by a wave-aware of her childhood fear of riptides, of a sudden injury. She kept herself in proximity to a family, a young father and mother wrangling a handful of kids diving in and out of the cras.h.i.+ng waves. But when she looked back she saw that Calvin had indeed kept her in his sights, peering out over the top of his book.

When she got back to the blanket, she asked him to rub sunblock on her, but he said he didn't have any, even though she was sure he'd said earlier that he'd packed some, and then they both sulked for a bit. She lay on her back, feeling the sun heating the exposed flesh between her bikini top and bottom. In the sky above, a flock of sea birds flew by in V-formation. An unseasonal migration. A sign that everything s.h.i.+fts and moves, nothing stays in place. She swatted the thought away, squas.h.i.+ng the urge to attach meaning-a leftover from the influence of her Catholic Nana, who found "signs and wonders" everywhere, proof of G.o.d's intentions, answers to her prayers. A lot of superst.i.tion, or so it seemed now, though back then she saw life that way, too. So she closed her eyes and pretended that she was somewhere more exotic, and that she wasn't with Calvin. She thought about how she'd have to wait out the rest of the weekend before she broke up with him.

And now, in the hallway, she wonders again why she didn't just get it over with the night before in New York. Now, instead, her skin feels sunburned and her clothes are covered with beer, and how is she going to get through the rest of this h.e.l.lish party? Why did she wait? When has waiting ever solved anything?

"Ruby! Right? It's you? Oh, my G.o.d." She turns around to see a flatchested girl in a pale orange bikini, two tiny triangles of fabric, as if a single slice of Kraft American cheese had been cut in half along the diagonal. Her body is long and lean. She's nearly as tall as Calvin and has his same thin-boned features. Same shocking whiteness to her hair, though her hair looks clean. So of course this must be Alice. She exclaims, "I can't believe we haven't met before!"

"I've been here for half an hour," Ruby says dryly-wondering where Alice has been all this time. "I'm covered in beer."

"I heard my brother just spazzed out on you. It's the talk of the party." Alice holds out to Ruby a brandy snifter with an inch of amber jiggling in its bulb.

"Spaz" suits Calvin, though Ruby could never get away with calling him that. She takes the snifter, which might be leaded crystal-another unlikely object that Alice has brought along for the summer.

"Oh, my G.o.d," Alice repeats. "Come with me." She pivots and moves down the hall, talking over her shoulder in a jittery stream. "Are you having fun? Do you like the house? We rented last year but closer to the ocean, but it's totally crazy there, so we decided to rent on this side of Central, but you know it's too many families over here, so someone's always calling the cops on us. Nightmare!" She reaches a door and pauses before entering, as if to impart secret rules to Ruby before they step inside. "We're keeping this room off limits except for me and Cicely and Dorian. They're the other renters. Have you met them? Cicely is gorgeous, with the biggest b.r.e.a.s.t.s you've ever seen-she's probably going to get a reduction, I mean, I I would if it were me, but I'm as flat as they come, and between you and me I like it that way. I'm a perfect size two. And Dorian's just a lush, but she's sweet. I've known her for years, we go to Dalton-I mean we would if it were me, but I'm as flat as they come, and between you and me I like it that way. I'm a perfect size two. And Dorian's just a lush, but she's sweet. I've known her for years, we go to Dalton-I mean we went, went, we're graduates now! Free! We have a bathroom off my bedroom that's strictly we're graduates now! Free! We have a bathroom off my bedroom that's strictly entre nous. Comprendez entre nous. Comprendez? I'm not letting all these trashy people, whoever they are, puke in my toilet. Plus, I have like $150 worth of Estee Lauder cosmetics in there, so-"

She pushes open the door, and they enter the room with the c.o.ke mirror. "Help yourself," Alice says. She gestures toward the same group of faces Ruby had barged in on just moments ago. "Attention, all you beautiful people. This is Ruby. She's from Manhattan, too."

Ruby waves feebly toward the group, three guys and two girls, a wild-eyed bunch dressed several notches less trashy than the beach b.u.ms in the living room and kitchen. The inner circle. She identifies gorgeous Cicely, on the bed in a black-satin Chinese robe, which hangs open, highlighting her remarkable cleavage. She has the kind of trendy, teased-up hair-curly all over, with ironed-straight bangs over her forehead-that defies both gravity and taste. She smiles sweetly and waves at Ruby. Sprawled next to her is a sweaty, red-faced guy wearing a linen blazer over a tank top, wiping a frantic finger across his gums. This guy says, "f.u.c.kin' welcome and s.h.i.+t."

There's a guy next to him wearing only a pink oxford s.h.i.+rt, unb.u.t.toned, a pair of white briefs, and a paisley-patterned necktie wrapped around his forehead.

Necktie Guy sits up straight, legs dangling off the edge of the mattress, thighs spread. He checks Ruby out from head to toe. "Fantastic legs," he remarks. He then jabs a rolled bill into his right nostril and, in a single, seamless gesture, vacuums up an inch of white from the mirror.

The third girl-this must be Dorian-is the crimped-haired brunette in the pink bikini who Ruby saw shrieking through the living room. Dorian whacks Necktie Guy on the arm-it's not clear to Ruby if the swat is because he took more than his share of the c.o.ke, or because he paid her a compliment. Maybe the latter. Dorian addresses Ruby through a sneer: "What brought you and your fantastic legs fantastic legs to our party?" to our party?"

"I came with Calvin."

"Calvino?" says Necktie Guy. "Where is he?"

"I left him in the front room," Ruby says, "after he totaled his beer all over me."

"That explains the wet look," Dorian says. "For sure."

Ruby forces a smile, as if the spill were merely a bother and not a public humiliation. As if Dorian wasn't being rude but just clever. In her gesture is an attempt to conjure the blase sophistication she knows runs through the veins of this crowd. Since moving to Manhattan, she's been surrounded by kids like these. Adopting their nonchalant manner is a way to blend in, especially when you don't have the money they do. Besides, she does does have nice legs-her mother says her legs are her best feature-but she doesn't need any c.o.ke-wired guy getting all worked up about them. Not in front of his girlfriend. Not here, not now. have nice legs-her mother says her legs are her best feature-but she doesn't need any c.o.ke-wired guy getting all worked up about them. Not in front of his girlfriend. Not here, not now.

But Dorian isn't done with her yet. "Calvin," she says, rolling her eyes. "He's so tedious."

"You're tedious, Dorian, especially on c.o.ke," says Necktie Guy. "You should stick to drinking." This sounds like an insult, but Dorian lifts her mouth to his and they commence a particularly wet tongue kiss. tedious, Dorian, especially on c.o.ke," says Necktie Guy. "You should stick to drinking." This sounds like an insult, but Dorian lifts her mouth to his and they commence a particularly wet tongue kiss.

"Is Calvin your boyfriend?" This comes from the third boy in the room, speaking from the corner, where a sunny window behind him casts him in silhouette.

Ruby senses that this guy been silently watching her all this time. She stares back toward him, wanting a look. After she says yes, he drops his gaze.

From the bed, Cicely points a finger at Ruby and exclaims, "Oh, my G.o.d! You're the virgin!"