The Heart Of The Matter Part 16

'The school, of course. I went into his room to borrow his ink while he was away, and there on his table I saw a copy of the old Downhamian.'

'What a coincidence,' Scobie said.

'And do you know - it's really been a day of extraordinary happenings - I was looking through the magazine and there at the end was a page which said, 'The Secretary of the old Downhamian a.s.sociation would like to get in touch with the following old boys with whom we have lost touch' - and mere half-way down was my own name, in print, large as life. What do you think of that?'

'What did you do?'

'Directly I got to the office I sat down and wrote - before I touched a cable, except of course "the most immediates", but then I found I'd forgotten to put down the secretary's address, so back I had to go for the paper. You wouldn't care to come in, would you, and see what I've written?'

'I can't stay long.' Harris had been given an office in a small unwanted room in the Elder Dempster Company's premises. It was the size of an old-fas.h.i.+oned servant's bedroom and this appearance was enhanced by a primitive washbasin with one cold tap and a gas-ring. A table littered with cable forms was squashed between the washbasin and a window no larger than a port-hole which looked straight out on to the water-front and the grey creased bay. An abridged version of Ivanhoe for the use of schools, and half a loaf of bread stood in an out-tray. 'Excuse the muddle,' Harris said. 'Take a chair,' but there was no spare chair.

'Where've I put it?' Harris wondered aloud, turning over the cables on his desk. 'Ah, I remember.' He opened Ivanhoe and fished out a folded sheet. 'It's only a rough draft,' he said with anxiety. 'Of course I've got to pull it together. I think I'd better keep it back till Wilson comes. You see I've mentioned him.'

Scobie read, Dear Secretary, - It was just by chance I came on a copy of the 'Old Downhamian' which another old Downhamian, E. Wilson (1923-1928), had in his room. I'm afraid I've been out of touch with the old place for a great many years and I was very pleased and a bit guilty to see that you have been trying to get into touch with me. Perhaps you'd like to know a bit about what I'm doing in 'the white man's grave', but as I'm a cable censor you will understand that I can't tell you much about my work. That will have to wait till we've won the war. We are in the middle of the rains now - and how it does rain. There's a lot of fever about, but I've only had one dose and E. Wilson has so far escaped altogether. We are sharing a little house together, so that you can feel that old Downhamians even in this wild and distant part stick together. We've got an old Downhamian team of two and go out hunting together but only c.o.c.kroaches {Ha! Ha!). Well, I must stop now and get on with winning the war. Cheerio to all old Downhamians from quite an old Coaster.

Scobie looking up met Harris's anxious and embarra.s.sed gaze. 'Do you think it's on the right lines?' he asked. 'I was a bit doubtful about "Dear Secretary".'

'I think you've caught the tone admirably.'

'Of course you know it wasn't a very good school, and I wasn't very happy there. In fact I ran away once.'

'And now they've caught up with you.'

'It makes you think, doesn't it?' said Harris. He stared out over the grey water with tears in his bloodshot eyes. 'I've always envied people who were happy there,' he said.

Scobie said consolingly, 'I didn't much care for school myself.'

'To start off happy,' Harris said. 'It must make an awful difference afterwards. Why, it might become a habit, mightn't it?' He took the piece of bread out of the out-tray and dropped it into the wastepaper-basket. 'I always mean to get this place tidied up,' he said.

'Well, I must be going, Harris. I'm glad about the house -and the old Downhamian.'

'I wonder if Wilson was happy there,' Harris brooded. He took Ivanhoe out of the out-tray and looked around for somewhere to put it, but there wasn't any place. He put it back again. 'I don't suppose he was,' he said, 'or why should he have turned up here?'

4.

Scobie left his car immediately outside Yusef's door: it was like a gesture of contempt in the face of the Colonial Secretary. He said to the steward, 'I want to see your master. I know the way.'

'Ma.s.sa out.'

'Then I'll wait for him.' He pushed the steward to one side and walked in. The bungalow was divided into a succession of small rooms identically furnished with sofas and cus.h.i.+ons and low tables for drinks like the rooms in a brothel. He pa.s.sed from one to another, pulling the curtains aside, till he reached the little room where nearly two months ago now he had lost his integrity. On the sofa Yusef lay asleep.

He lay on his back in his white duck trousers with his mouth open, breathing heavily. A gla.s.s was on a table at his side, and Scobie noticed the small white grains at the bottom. Yusef had taken a bromide. Scobie sat down at his side and waited. The window was open, but the rain shut out the air as effectively as a curtain. Perhaps it was merely the want of air that caused the depression which now fell on his spirits, perhaps it was because he had returned to the scene of a crime. Useless to tell himself that he had committed no offence. Like a woman who has made a loveless marriage he recognized in the room as anonymous as an hotel bedroom the memory of an adultery.

Just over the window there was a defective gutter which emptied itself like a tap, so that all the time you could hear the two sounds of the rain - the murmur and the gush. Scobie lit a cigarette, watching Yusef. He couldn't feel any hatred of the man. He had trapped Yusef as consciously and as effectively as Yusef had trapped him. The marriage had been made by both of them. Perhaps the intensity of the watch he kept broke through the fog of bromide: the fat thighs s.h.i.+fted on the sofa. Yusef grunted, murmured, 'dear chap' in his deep sleep, and turned on his side, facing Scobie. Scobie stared again round the room, but he had examined it already thoroughly enough when he came here to arrange his loan: there was no change - the same hideous mauve silk cus.h.i.+ons, the threads showing where the damp was rotting the covers, the tangerine curtains. Even the blue syphon of soda was in the same place: they had an eternal air like the furnis.h.i.+ngs of h.e.l.l. There were no bookshelves, for Yusef couldn't read: no desk because he couldn't write. It would have been useless to search for papers - papers were useless to Yusef. Everything was inside that large Roman head.

'Why ... Major Scobie ...' The eyes were open and sought his; blurred with bromide they found it difficult to focus.

'Good morning, Yusef.' For once Scobie had him at a disadvantage. For a moment Yusef seemed about to sink again into drugged sleep; then with an effort he got on an elbow.

'I wanted to have a word about Tallit, Yusef.'

'Tallit... forgive me, Major Scobie .. .'

'And the diamonds.'

'Crazy about diamonds,' Yusef brought out with difficulty in a voice half-way to sleep. He shook his head, so that the white lick of hair flapped; then putting out a vague hand he stretched for the syphon.

'Did you frame Tallit, Yusef?'

Yusef dragged the syphon towards him across the table knocking over the bromide gla.s.s; he turned the nozzle towards his face and pulled the trigger. The soda water broke on his face and splashed all round him on the mauve silk. He gave a sigh of relief and satisfaction, like a man under a shower on a hot day. 'What is it, Major Scobie, is anything wrong?'

'Tallit is not going to be prosecuted.'

He was like a tired man dragging himself out of the sea: the tide followed him. He said, 'You must forgive me, Major Scobie. I have not been sleeping well.' He shook his head up and down thoughtfully, as a man might shake a box to see whether anything rattles. 'You were saying something about Tallit, Major Scobie,' and he explained again, 'It is the stocktaking. All the figures. Three four stores. They try to cheat me because it's all in my head.'

'Tallit,' Scobie repeated, 'won't be prosecuted.'

'Never mind. One day he will go too far.'

'Were they your diamonds, Yusef?'

'My diamonds? They have made you suspicious of me, Major Scobie.'

'Was the small boy in your pay?'

Yusef mopped the soda water off his face with the back of his hand. 'Of course he was, Major Scobie. That was where I got my information.'

The moment of inferiority had pa.s.sed; the great head had shaken itself free of the bromide, even though the limbs still lay sluggishly spread over the sofa. 'Yusef, I'm not your enemy. I have a liking for you.'

'When you say that, Major Scobie, how my heart beats.' He pulled his s.h.i.+rt wider, as though to show the actual movement of the heart and little streams of soda water irrigated the black bush on his chest. 'I am too fat,' he said.

'I would like to trust you, Yusef. Tell me the truth. Were the diamonds yours or Tallit's?'

'I always want to speak the truth to you, Major Scobie. I never told you the diamonds were Tallit's.'

'They were yours?'

'Yes, Major Scobie.'

'What a fool you have made of me, Yusef. If only I had a witness here, I'd run you in.'

'I didn't mean to make a fool of you, Major Scobie. I wanted Tallit sent away. It would be for the good of everybody if he was sent away. It is no good the Syrians being in two parties. If they were in one party you would be able to come to me and say, 'Yusef, the Government wants the Syrians to do this or that,' and I should be able to answer, "It shall be so."'

'And the diamond smuggling would be in one pair of hands.'

'Oh, the diamonds, diamonds, diamonds,' Yusef wearily complained. 'I tell you, Major Scobie, that I make more money in one year from my smallest store than I would make in three years from diamonds. You cannot understand how many bribes are necessary.'

'Well, Yusef, I'm taking no more information from you. This ends our relations.h.i.+p. Every month, of course, I shall send you the interest.' He felt a strange unreality in his own words: the tangerine curtains hung there immovably. There are certain places one never leaves behind; the curtains and cus.h.i.+ons of this room joined an attic bedroom, an ink-stained desk, a lacy altar in Haling - they would be there so long as consciousness lasted.

Yusef put his feet on the floor and sat bolt upright. He said, 'Major Scobie, you have taken my little joke too much to heart.'

'Good-bye, Yusef, you aren't a bad chap, but good-bye.'

'You are wrong, Major Scobie. I am a bad chap.' He said earnestly, 'My friends.h.i.+p for you is the only good thing in this black heart. I cannot give it up. We must stay friends always.'

'I'm afraid not, Yusef.'

'Listen, Major Scobie. I am not asking you to do anything for me except sometimes - after dark perhaps when n.o.body can see - to visit me and talk to me. Nothing else. Just that. I will tell you no more tales about Tallit. I will tell you nothing. We will sit here with the syphon and the whisky bottle ...'

'I'm not a fool, Yusef. I know it would be of great use to you if people believed we were friends. I'm not giving you that help.'

Yusef put a finger in his ear and cleared it of soda water. He looked bleakly and brazenly across at Scobie. This must be how he looks, Scobie thought, at the store manager who has tried to deceive him about the figures he carries in his head. 'Major Scobie, did you ever tell the Commissioner about our little business arrangement or was that an bluff?'

'Ask him yourself.'

'I think I will My heart feels rejected and bitter. It urges me to go to the Commissioner and tell him everything.'

'Always obey your heart, Yusef.'

'I will tell him you took my money and together we planned the arrest of Tallit. But you did not fulfil your bargain, so I have come to him in revenge. In revenge,' Yusef repeated gloomily, his Roman head sunk on his fat chest.

'Go. ahead. Do what you like, Yusef.' But he couldn't believe in any of this scene however hard he played it. It was like a lovers' quarrel. He couldn't believe in Yusef s threats and he had no belief in his own calmness: he did not even believe in this good-bye. What had happened in the mauve and orange room had been too important to become part of the enormous equal past. He was not surprised when Yusef, lifting his head, said, 'Of course I shall not go. One day you will come back and want my friends.h.i.+p. And I shall welcome you.'

Shall I really be so desperate? Scobie wondered, as though in the Syrian's voice he had heard the genuine accent of prophecy.

5.

On his way home Scobie stopped his car outside the Catholic church and went in. It was the first Sat.u.r.day of the month and he always went to confession on that day. Half a dozen old women, their hair bound like char-women's in dusters, waited their turn: a nursing sister: a private soldier with a Royal Ordnance insignia. Father Rank's voice whispered monotonously from the box. Scobie, with his eyes fixed on the cross, prayed - the Our Father, the Hail Mary, the Act of Contrition. The awful languor of routine fell on his spirits. He felt like a spectator -one of those many people round the cross over whom the gaze of Christ must have pa.s.sed, seeking the face of a friend or an enemy. It sometimes seemed to him that his profession and his uniform cla.s.sed him inexorably with all those anonymous Romans keeping order in the streets a long way off. One by one the old Kru women pa.s.sed into the box and out again, and Scobie prayed - vaguely and ramblingly - for Louise, that she might be happy now at this moment and so remain, that no evil should ever come to her through him. The soldier came out of .the box and he rose.

'In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.' He said, 'Since my last confession a month ago I have missed one Sunday Ma.s.s and one holiday of obligation.'

'Were you prevented from going?'

'Yes, but with a little effort I could have arranged my duties better.'

'Yes?'

'All through this month I have done the minimum. I've been unnecessarily harsh to one of my men ...' He paused a long time.

'Is that everything?'

'I don't know how to put it, Father, but I feel - tired of my religion. It seems to mean nothing to me. I've tried to love G.o.d, but -' he made a gesture which the priest could not see, turned sideways through the grille. 'I'm not sure that I even believe.'

'It's easy,' the priest said, 'to worry too much about that. Especially here. The penance I would give to a lot of people if I could is six months' leave. The climate gets you down. It's easy to mistake tiredness for - well, disbelief.'

'I don't want to keep you, Father. There are other people waiting. I know these are just fancies. But I feel - empty. Empty.'

'That's sometimes the moment G.o.d chooses,' the priest said. 'Now go along with you and say a decade of your rosary.'

'I haven't a rosary. At least...'

'Well, five Our Father's and five Hail Marys then.' He began to speak the words of absolution, but the trouble is, Scobie thought, there's nothing to absolve. The words brought no sense of relief because there was nothing to relieve. They were a formula: the Latin words hustled together - a hocus pocus. He went out of the box and knelt down again, and this too was part of a routine. It seemed to him for a moment that G.o.d was too accessible. There was no difficulty in approaching Him. Like a popular demagogue He was open to the least of His followers at any hour. Looking up at the cross he thought. He even suffers in public.

Chapter Three.

1.

'I'VE brought you some stamps,' Scobie said. 'I've been collecting them for a week - from everybody. Even Mrs Carter has contributed a magnificent parrakeet - look at it - from somewhere in South America. And here's a complete set of Liberians surcharged for the American occupation. I got those from the Naval Observer.'

They were completely at ease: it seemed to both of them for that very reason they were safe.

'Why do you collect stamps?' he asked. 'It's an odd thing to do - after sixteen.'

'I don't know,' Helen Rolt said. 'I don't really collect. I carry them round. I suppose it's habit.' She opened the alb.u.m and said, 'No, it's not just habit. I do love the things. Do you see this green George V halfpenny stamp? It's the first I ever collected. I was eight. I steamed it off an envelope and stuck it in a notebook. That's why my father gave me an alb.u.m. My mother had died, so he gave me a stamp-alb.u.m.'

She tried to explain more exactly. 'They are like snapshots. They are so portable. People who collect china - they can't carry it around with them. Or books. But you don't have to tear the pages out like you do with snapshots.

'You've never told me about your husband,' Scobie said.

'No.'

'It's not really much good tearing out a page because you can see the place where it's been torn?'

'Yes.'