Desire For Revenge Part 10

"Over the weekend," Joss continued evenly, despite the fact that Steven had not asked for an explanation of his claim.

"I was in the country, checking on the work being done on the house I've bought there. Sarah and I met at a local event."

"Yes ... of course, I'd forgotten that your sister lives in the Cotswolds doesn't she, Sarah?" Steven asked her.

"How is the work coming along on your house. Joss?"

"Better than I'd hoped. With a bit of luck I should be able to move in pretty soon. The swimming pool is going to take longer to install than I'd hoped for."

Listening to them Sarah felt her heart clench as she realised which house it must be that Joss had bought. Coming on top of everything else it was almost unbearable that he should have chosen for his home the one place she had long coveted and known to be out of reach, as her own.

"Come back, Sarah..." Steven teased her.

"You were miles away."

She could feel the hot tide of colour crawling up over her skin and knew without looking at him that Joss was watching her. Did he think she had known who he was?

A brief, acutely painful glance at him told her that was not the reason for the anger she could almost feel emanating from him. She bit her lip as Steven ushered them both from his office. It seemed impossible that all that bitter fury she could feel emanating from Joss and directed towards her could be simply because she had quietly removed herself from his life. For both of them it had been an encounter without any commitment; and in all honesty Sarah could not see why he should have wanted one. So why the deeply burning rage she could sense burning inside him? Another and completely contradictory thought struck her, chilling her so much that she came to an abrupt halt in the corridor, s.h.i.+vering slightly. What if it was not because she had so abruptly exited from his life that Joss was so bitterly furious but because of the totally unexpected way in which she had re-entered it?

The idea made too much sense to be dismissed, and although she was conscious of a degree of curiosity in Steven's eyes as he touched her arm lightly and directed her towards the lift, she could not let the idea go. Obviously, when he had held her in his arms and whispered his desire for her, when he had made love to her physically and verbally.

Joss had not had the slightest idea that they would be working together. Neither of them had, but Joss was, in effect, now her boss.

Was he thinking that she might use what had happened between them, or was he simply angry because he felt he had revealed something of himself to her that he would not normally have revealed to a lower ranking colleague?

If so . how did he think she felt? Hot colour burned her skin as Steven guided her into the lift. She could feel the heat coming off Joss's body as she stood in close proximity to him, her eyes resolutely looking at the lift doors. He was willing her to look at him, and with such an intensity that she could almost feel the skin at the back of her neck burning, but she refused to give in to it. By the time the lift stopped a fine film of sweat had broken out on her skin, panic flaring wildly to life inside her.

Somehow, she managed to endure the ordeal of lunch, although afterwards she was never sure what she had eaten or what had been said.

At one point on the way back to the office Steven commented cheerfully, "I'm sure you two will get on. Sarah's a very sensitive and gifted editor. Joss, I think you'll find her invaluable." He glanced obliquely at Sarah and added knowingly, "And I'm sure you'll find Joss a great help too, Sarah, especially when it comes to dealing with writers like David Randal."

Sarah was powerless to prevent the slow surge of heat suffusing her skin at the mention of David's name. She wondered if she was the only one to be aware of the peculiar tension that seemed to hang in the air.

Unable to stop herself she glanced at Joss and saw that he was watching her, a grimly unreadable expression in his eyes.

It was only when they stepped back into the building that she felt able to breathe properly again. No doubt Steven would now whisk Joss off to his office and she would be left alone to come to terms with what had happened, giving her a breathing s.p.a.ce she badly needed.

The only sensible thing for her to do now would be to hand in her notice, but how could she? She was committed, at least for the next few months, until money came in from Ralph's new contract, to helping out with the expense of keeping Gran in her comfortable new surroundings. With the memory of how happily the old lady had settled in there still fresh in her mind Sarah knew that it would be impossible for her to give up her well-paid job. She would just have to remind herself that Joss was as unlikely to want to discuss what had happened between them as she was herself . but for far different reasons, she admitted wryly as they all stepped out of the lift. She was not so stupid that she wasn't aware of the reason for that totally unexpected flare of joy the sight of him had brought. It hadn't just been a mere s.e.xual attraction she had felt towards him; she was forced to admit that now . and also to acknowledge that the reason she had been so reticent with him had been to protect herself from the danger that any further exposure to him was almost sure to bring. Now it was too late for that;

she had been brought face to face with the truth of how strongly she was attracted to him; of how deep the emotional commitment, she had unwittingly made to him, went.

It had been all very well to disguise the truth under the banner of the necessity of losing her virginity when she had been safe in the knowledge that she was never likely to set eyes upon him again, but now that provided scant protection.

She was profoundly grateful when she reached her office door, relief turning to shock as she heard Joss saying evenly to Steven, "If you don't mind I'd like to spend some time with Sarah this afternoon, discussing one or two things..."

Steven beamed his approval, obviously taking Joss's comment as an indication of his goodwill towards her, Sarah thought numbly, wondering how Steven could be so blind to the rage she could see so clearly smouldering in the dark blue eyes.

There was nothing she could do. She had to smile mechanically and open her office door to him as Steven left them to it.

There was no sign of Katy, her secretary, and then Sarah remembered that the other girl had a dental appointment. Biting down hard on her lower lip she opened the door to her own office. Small at the best of times, it now seemed positively claustrophobic. She turned round and discovered that Joss was immediately behind her, leaning indolently against the closed door. But there was nothing at all indolent about the way he was looking at her, and she s.h.i.+vered in the grip of primitive fear.

"Now..." he said softly, not making even the slightest concession towards his claim to Steven that he intended to discuss work with her.

"Just what in h.e.l.l are you playing at?"

Anger had darkened his iris almost to purple- black. There was a rigidity about his body that made her own tremble, and yet she forced herself to stand up and face him rather than sink down into her chair as her shrinking body ached to do.

She licked her dry lips nervously, her body tensing in instant shock as he crossed the s.p.a.ce that divided them and shook her fiercely.

"Don't do that, d.a.m.n you," he told her thickly.

"What the h.e.l.l are you trying to do to me ... send me out of my mind?

Why did you leave like that? Why...?"

She must keep calm, Sarah warned herself. Whatever else happened she must not let him guess the truth. She thought she knew why he was so angry now. It was a combination of the shock of discovering her here . and the blow to us pride her disappearance must have caused.

It had not occurred to her before that he might eel that her disappearance was a rejection of him.

"Why did you leave like that?" he demanded igain.

"Do you know what I went through when woke up? I had no idea you were a virgin until t was too late to ... to stop. Did I hurt and frighten roll so much that you felt you had to run away from me, Sarah?" His voice was having a mesneric effect on her. He had already stopped ha king her but he had not moved away and now is fingers touched her jaw, tracing her bones.

-omething inside her flared painfully to life and he wanted nothing more than to be in his arms-ut for how long? --an inner voice asked her. 'or how long would he want her? He was an xperienced man . she was not the first woman he had desired . and she was already far too vulnerable to him to give herself in a relations.h.i.+p whose end she could already forecast. She didn't ant Joss for a brief interlude, she acknowledged )ain fully she wanted him for ever.

"I thought I'd made it good for you, Sarah."

There was so much pain in his voice that she ;ould not stop herself from saying huskily, You did. "

"Then why...? Why leave like that...? If it wasn't for the coincidence of our meeting today ike this, I'd never have seen you again, would ? Would I, Sarah?"

He was shaking her again, his words falling on her like blows. She had to defend herself from him somehow, Sarah thought desperately. If he continued like this she would admit the truth to him. The bitterness and anguish he seemed to be experiencing hurt her so much.

There was nothing she wanted more than to tell him how she felt, but the vulnerability she sensed in him now was not real; he was a powerfully s.e.xual man only made weak by a momentary desire that would fade far, far faster than her own acute love.

Slowly, an escape route opened up before her. Taking a deep breath Sarah spoke slowly, unable at first to look directly at him as she said quietly, "No, Joss. You wouldn't."

"Am I allowed to ask why?"

Sarah shrugged forcing herself to meet his eyes now and appear calm.

"Does there have to be a reason? I thought it was understood by both of us that what happened was a " A one off," he bit out cruelly.

"It was certainly a unique event in my experience.. and, of course, in yours," he reminded her savagely.

"If you don't mind my saying so, I find it rather strange that a woman in her mid-twenties, who's still a virgin, should suddenly take it into her head to go to bed with a complete stranger."

"Haven't you ever heard of instant attraction?" Sarah said flippantly and wished she had not when she saw his eyes narrow and harden.

"Instant attraction, like love at first sight, is the corner-stone on which a firmer relations.h.i.+p can be built, but you didn't want anything other than exactly what we had between us, did you, Sarah? You simply wanted She couldn't bear to listen to any more. If he said another word. she would disgrace herself completely by bursting into tears in front of him. How on earth could she have been so foolish in the first place?

Summoning all her courage she said grittily, "I simply wanted you to remove the burden of my virginity. Joss." She had to turn away from him so that he would not see the lie for what it was;