The Irish Fairy Book Part 21

"But he wint out the wrong door, bein' a thrifle hearty in himself an'

not rightly knowin' whether he was standin' on his head or his heels, or both iv them at the same time, an' in place iv gettin' into bed, where did he thrun himself but into the poulthry hamper that the boys had settled out ready for the gandher in the mornin'. An', sure enough, he sunk down soft an' complate through the hay to the bottom; an' wid the turnin' and roulin' about in the night, the divil a bit iv him but was covered up as shnug as a lumper in a pittaty furrow before mornin'.

"So wid the first light, up gets the two boys that wor to take the sperit, as they consaved, to Tipperary; an' they cotched the ould gandher an' put him in the hamper, an' clapped a good wisp iv hay an the top iv him, an' tied it down sthrong wid a bit iv a coard, an' med the sign iv the cra.s.s over him, in dhread iv any harum, an' put the hamper up an the car, wontherin' all the while what in the world was makin' the ould bird so surprisin' heavy.

"Well, they wint along quite anasy towards Tipperary, wis.h.i.+n' every minute that some iv the neighbours bound the same way id happen to fall in with them, for they didn't half like the notions iv havin' no company but the bewitched gandher, an' small blame to them for that same.

"But although they wor shaking in their skhins in dhread iv the ould bird beginnin' to conva.r.s.e them every minute, they did not let an to one another, but kep singin' an' whistlin' like mad to keep the dread out iv their hearts.

"Well, afther they wor on the road betther nor half an hour, they kem to the bad bit close by Father Crotty's, an' there was one divil of a rut three feet deep at the laste; an' the car got sich a wondherful chuck goin' through it that it wakened Terence widin in the basket.

"'Bad luck to ye,' says he, 'my bones is bruck wid yer thricks; what the divil are ye doin' wid me?'

"'Did ye hear anything quare, Thady?' says the boy that was next to the car, turnin' as white as the top iv a mushroom; 'did ye hear anything quare soundin' out iv the hamper?' says he.

"'No, nor you,' says Thady, turnin' as pale as himself. 'It's the ould gandher that's gruntin' wid the shakin' he's gettin',' says he.

"'Where the divil have ye put me into?' says Terence inside. 'Bad luck to your sowls,' says he; 'let me out, or I'll be smothered this minute,'

says he.

"'There's no use in purtending,' says the boy; 'the gandher's spakin', glory be to G.o.d,' says he.

"'Let me out, you murdherers,' says Terence.

"'In the name iv the blessed Vargin,' says Thady, 'an' iv all the holy saints, hould yer tongue, you unnatheral gandher,' says he.

"'Who's that, that dar to call me nicknames?' says Terence inside, roaring wid the fair pa.s.sion. 'Let me out, you blasphamious infiddles,'

says he, 'or by this cra.s.s I'll stretch ye,' says he.

"'In the name iv all the blessed saints in heaven,' says Thady, 'who the divil are ye?'

"'Who the divil would I be, but Terence Mooney,' says he. 'It's myself that's in it, you unmerciful bliggards,' says he. 'Let me out, or, by the holy, I'll get out in spite iv yes,' says he, 'an', by jaburs, I'll wallop yes in arnest,' says he.

"'It's ould Terence, sure enough,' says Thady. 'Isn't it cute the fairy docthor found him out?' says he.

"'I'm an the pint of snuffication,' says Terence. 'Let me out, I tell you, an' wait till I get at ye,' says he, 'for, begorra, the divil a bone in your body but I'll powdher,' says he.

"An' wid that he beginned kickin' and flingin' inside in the hamper, and dhrivin' his legs agin the sides iv it, that it was a wonder he did not knock it to pieces.

"Well, as soon as the boys seen that they skelped the ould horse into a gallop as hard as he could peg towards the priest's house, through the ruts, an' over the stones; an' you'd see the hamper fairly flyin' three feet up in the air with the joultin'; glory be to G.o.d.

"So it was small wondher, by the time they got to his raverince's door, the breath was fairly knocked out of poor Terence, so that he was lyin'

speechless in the bottom iv the hamper.

"Well, whin his raverince kem down, they up an' they tould him all that happened, an' how they put the gandher in the hamper, an' how he beginned to spake, an' how he confissed that he was ould Terence Mooney; an' they axed his honour to advise them how to get rid iv the sperit for good an' all.

"So says his raverince, says he:

"'I'll take my booke,' says he, 'an' I'll read some rale sthrong holy bits out iv it,' says he, 'an' do you get a rope and put it round the hamper,' says he, 'an' let it swing over the runnin' wather at the bridge,' says he, 'an' it's no matther if I don't make the sperit come out iv it,' says he.

"Well, wid that the priest got his horse, and tuck his booke in undher his arm, an' the boys follied his raverince, ladin' the horse down to the bridge, an' divil a word out iv Terence all the way, for he seen it was no use spakin', an' he was afeard if he med any noise they might thrait him to another gallop an' finish him intirely.

"Well, as soon as they wor all come to the bridge, the boys tuck the rope they had wid them an' med it fast to the top iv the hamper, an'

swung it fairly over the bridge, lettin' it hang in the air about twelve feet out iv the wather.

"And his raverince rode down to the bank of the river close by, an'

beginned to read mighty loud and bould intirely.

"An' whin he was goin' on about five minutes, all at onst the bottom iv the hamper kem out, an' down wint Terence, falling splash into the wather, an' the ould gandher a-top iv him. Down they both wint to the bottom, wid a souse you'd hear half a mile off.

"An' before they had time to rise agin, his raverince, wid the fair astonishment, giv his horse one dig iv the spurs, an' before he knew where he was, in he wint, horse an' all, a-top iv them, an' down to the bottom.

"Up they all kem agin together, gaspin' and puffin', an' off down wid the current wid them, like shot in under the arch iv the bridge till they kem to the shallow wather.

"The ould gandher was the first out, and the priest and Terence kem next, pantin' an' blowin' an' more than half dhrounded, an' his raverince was so freckened wid the dhroundin' he got and wid the sight iv the sperit, as he consaved, that he wasn't the better of it for a month.

"An' as soon as Terence could spake he swore he'd have the life of the two gossoons; but Father Crotty would not give him his will. An' as soon as he was got quiter they all endivoured to explain it; but Terence consaved he went raly to bed the night before, an' his wife said the same to s.h.i.+lter him from the suspision for havin' th' dhrop taken. An'

his raverince said it was a mysthery, an' swore if he cotched anyone laughin' at the accident he'd lay the horsewhip across their shoulders.

"An' Terence grew fonder an' fonder iv the gandher every day, until at last he died in a wondherful old age, lavin' the gandher afther him an'

a large family iv childher.

"An' to this day the farm is rinted by one iv Terence Mooney's lenial and legitimate postariors."

JOSEPH SHERIDAN LE FANN.

The Fairies' Pa.s.sage

Tap, tap, rap, rap! "Get up, gaffer Ferryman."

"Eh! Who is there?" The clock strikes three.

"Get up, do, gaffer! You are the very man We have been long, long, longing to see."

The ferryman rises, growling and grumbling, And goes fum-fumbling, and stumbling, and tumbling Over the wares on his way to the door.

But he sees no more Than he saw before, Till a voice is heard: "O Ferryman, dear!

Here we are waiting, all of us, here.

We are a wee, wee colony, we; Some two hundred in all, or three.

Ferry us over the River Lee Ere dawn of day, And we will pay The most we may In our own wee way!"

"Who are you? Whence came you?

What place are you going to?"

"Oh, we have dwelt over-long in this land: The people get cross, and are growing so knowing, too!

Nothing at all but they now understand.

We are daily vanis.h.i.+ng under the thunder Of some huge engine or iron wonder; That iron--ah! it has entered our souls."

"Your souls? O gholes!

You queer little drolls, Do you mean ----?" "Good gaffer, do aid us with speed, For our time, like our stature, is short indeed!

And a very long way we have to go: Eight or ten thousand miles or so, Hither and thither, and to and fro, With our pots and pans And little gold cans; But our light caravans Run swifter than man's."