Infernal_ A Repairman Jack Novel Part 31

"Not officially. Not until they find out I'm gone."

"Jesus, Tom!"

"Will you stop saying that?"

"I don't know what else to say. I've been thinking this trip was one colossal waste of time, but now it's worse. I'm with a guy the feds will be hunting, if they aren't already. If they catch up to you, they catch me too-"

"Always about you, hmmm?"

"d.a.m.n straight! From what you've told me, you've got nothing left to lose. I have everything."

The ramifications tied Jack's gut in a knot.

"Relax. We'll be just fine."

As Tom lapsed into morose silence, Jack popped back onto the deck to make a scan of the dark ocean. All clear.

When he returned below he found Tom refilling his cup.

"You going to be able to handle your watch?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm pacing myself. Don't want to start seeing things again."

"Like what? You said you hallucinated back on the dock. What did you see?"

"Nothing."

"Which is pretty much what you're getting out of this trip."

"Got the Lilitongue."

"Whoopee."

Tom leaned back. "Maybe I'm crazy, but I've got to tell you, I first laid eyes on that map maybe ten years ago, I... I can't describe it. I knew the Lilitongue was important and I knew I had to have it."

"Let me guess: You stole the map."

"'Stole' is kind of harsh. Old Wenzel was dying and his estate was set to be divvied up equally between his three kids, none of whom had any interest in his map collection beyond its cash value. So I, um, rescued it before it disappeared into some collector's cabinet."

Jack was nodding. "I see... you didn't steal it, you pilfered it."

"I prefer to categorize it as an honorarium for legal work well done."

"You would."

Tom straightened and jabbed a finger toward Jack.

"Don't try that holier-than-thou s.h.i.+t again, because it won't work! I know your story, Jack."

"Do you."

"d.a.m.n right. You put on this supercilious, disapproving look when all the while you're as crooked as they come."

Jack blinked "What?"

"You think I'm stupid? You think I can't put two and two together?" He reached into his pocket, withdrew a wad of paper, tossed it at Jack. "How do you explain that?"

Jack s.n.a.t.c.hed it from the air and uncrumpled it: his fuel receipt from the marina. Anger surged.

"You've been going through my things?"

"Didn't have to. You left it by the helm. Take a look. It's got the first name right: John. But 'Tyleski'? That's a long way from the name on your birth certificate, Jack. So here you are, ripping off some unsuspecting guy-"

"I'm not ripping off anyone."

"Really? That'd be easier to believe if your name were on the card. Don't try to bulls.h.i.+t a bulls.h.i.+tter. That's a stolen card."

Jack shook his head. "Wrong. It's mine. I get billed every month and I pay it."

Tom's eyes narrowed. "But you're not John Tyleski."

"Maybe not. But the credit card company doesn't care. And the store-owners don't care. As long as everyone gets paid for their goods and services, who cares what name is on the card?"

Tom continued his stare. "Does all this have something to do with your Repairman Jack thing?"

Jack felt as if he'd been Tasered-couldn't move, couldn't speak.

Tom grinned. "Gotcha, huh?"

Jack found his voice, but it came out a whisper. "What are you talking about?"

Tom then launched into how he'd pieced together remarks from Dad and Gia, lyrics from Bighead's song, and Jack's inability to claim Dad's body. The conclusion he'd reached was disconcertingly close to the truth.

He pointed to the receipt in Jack's hand. "That was the capper. I suspected you were some sort of urban mercenary, but when I saw you were using a false ident.i.ty, I was sure." He leaned back with a smug expression. "So no more holier than thou, okay? 'Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.' Remember that one?"

"You think knowing what I am gives you a free pa.s.s?"

"I just don't want to hear any criticism from a criminal."

Jack leaned toward him. "Maybe I am a criminal. Maybe I could even be considered a career criminal. But I'm not a crook. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. Ironclad."

Tom reddened. "And I don't?"

"From what you've told me, your word's worth less than those queer twenties you were trying to pa.s.s."

"Hey, just a f.u.c.king-"

"As a judge you took an oath to uphold the law, didn't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"But nothing. That's giving your word. I could never take that oath-too many laws I disagree with-but you did. You bound yourself to a certain code. But you broke your word. Worse, you sold sold your word." your word."

"I didn't do anything lots of other people weren't doing-still doing." doing."

"I'm not going to have to repeat what Dad used to say about if everyone was jumping off a bridge, am I?"

Tom slashed the air with a hand. "Wake up, Jack. It's the way of the world. Two sets of rules out there. One is for public consumption, for the hoi polloi. But the other set, the real real rules, are for those who know the game and how to play it. Someone once said that all of life can be summed up by the verb rules, are for those who know the game and how to play it. Someone once said that all of life can be summed up by the verb to eat to eat, in both the active and pa.s.sive sense. I'll take active, thank you."

"Well, there's a third set: mine. And so far no one's taken a bite out of me." He sighed. "Maybe I do sound holier than thou, but Jesus, Tom... without your integrity, what are you? What's left?"

Tom gave a derisive snort. "Tell me what you've got with with it? Does it buy food? Does it pay the rent? You think that guy back at the marina would've given you all that fuel for free just because you've got integrity? I don't think so." it? Does it buy food? Does it pay the rent? You think that guy back at the marina would've given you all that fuel for free just because you've got integrity? I don't think so."

What's the use? Jack thought. Like discussing color with a blind man.

Shaking his head, Jack made another quick trip topside. Staring at the empty ocean, he thought about that lost soul below: his brother. His brother didn't get it. He was never going to get it. Maybe because he never had it.

No. He must have had it.

Jack returned below and took the seat across from Tom.

"Let me ask you something. Are you happy with who you are?"

Tom's mouth twisted. "Happy? How could I be happy? I'm up to my lower lip in legal trouble."

"Don't dodge the question. You know what I'm talking about. Are you satisfied with yourself?"

Tom sighed. "No, I can't say I am. In my heart of hearts I know I'm an a.s.shole."

"How'd you get there? How did it happen?"

He looked up from his cup. "I a.s.sume you'll accept that I didn't start out with the goal of being a crooked judge."

"Accepted. So how?"

"It's an incremental process. Sometimes I think law school's to blame."

Jack snorted. "Cop out."

"No, I'm serious. And I'm not saying it's not my fault. But law school teaches that the letter letter of the law is all that counts. Forget the spirit of the law-the letter, the letter, the letter. So if you find a loophole or an interpretation that lets you sidestep the spirit of the law, it's okay to exploit it. Right and wrong, just and unjust don't play into it. The only thing that matters is what's on paper." of the law is all that counts. Forget the spirit of the law-the letter, the letter, the letter. So if you find a loophole or an interpretation that lets you sidestep the spirit of the law, it's okay to exploit it. Right and wrong, just and unjust don't play into it. The only thing that matters is what's on paper."

"Okay, but even the letter of the law doesn't give you a green light on bribery."

Tom nodded. "True, true. But you don't start with bribery. You start with bending here, shading there. And as the benefits accrue, you graduate to bigger bendings and darker shadings. You get caught up in a subtly escalating process that goes on until you wake up one morning and realize you're not the man you intended to be. Not even close. In fact, you're exactly the kind of a.s.shole you despised when you started out."

"So that's the day you start to make changes."

"Wish it were that easy. You owe people favors-it's all quid pro quo-and these people know things about you. They hold your strings, strings you can't cut. You're not quite a puppet, but pretty d.a.m.n close. So you go with it. You stay on the downward spiral." He looked at Jack. "Same thing probably happened to you, right?"

That took Jack by surprise. "Me?"

"Come on, Jack. Admit it. You didn't go to New York to become a criminal. But maybe you stole a little here, sold a little weed there, did a little grifting, then bought a Sat.u.r.day night special and graduated to strong-arm stuff. Now you're Repairman Jack."

Jack shook his head. "Not even close. No increments for me. When I dropped out of Rutgers and stepped onto the bus in New Brunswick, I'd made a decision to break with whoever I was and whatever future I'd been on track for. I said good-bye to a way of life I no longer felt part of. When I stepped off that bus in the Port Authority I was someone else. Didn't know who that guy was-not yet, at least-but I was sure of who I didn't didn't want to be. I made a clean break, Tom. No increments. And no excuses." want to be. I made a clean break, Tom. No increments. And no excuses."

Tom sighed. "Looks like I'll be doing the same thing soon: Throwing out the old me and buying a new one. You're still going to help me, right?"

Jack nodded.

Help Tom disappear? Oh, yes.

SAt.u.r.dAY.

1.

Back again on terra firma, the first thing Tom did was plunk some change into the phone by the Wanchese dock and call home. They'd made good time coming back.

He watched the sun rise over the North Carolina pines as he listened to the rings.

Finally a voice thick with sleep answered. "h.e.l.lo?"

"Terry? It's me."

Suddenly she came alive. "Tom! Oh, G.o.d! Where are you?"

Something in her tone warned him against answering that.

"In transit."

"But where?"

Although he already knew the answer, Tom said, "Something wrong?" Then held his breath.

"Wrong? Yes, d.a.m.n it, something is very wrong! I've been visited every day by a pair of federal marshals. They know you're gone and they're watching the house. They follow me wherever I go-probably think I'm sneaking off to meet you or something. But how can I when I don't know where you are? I wasn't even sure you were still alive until just now!"

Oh, s.h.i.+t. Oh, h.e.l.l.