Teddy and Carrots: Two Merchants of Newpaper Row Part 10

"What are you two doin' here?"

"Came down to see how the new feller gets along. Don't s'pose you've got any 'bjections, have you?" Carrots replied.

"I don't know whether I have or not."

"Well, after you find out jest give me the word, 'cause we're bound to dust whenever you give us the tip."

It was evident to Master Jellison that Carrots was speaking sarcastically, and he took no further notice of this insolence, save to say, warningly:

"You want to mind your eye, that's all! The feller what tries to help that chump along is goin' to get inter trouble."

"Same's you did over to Brooklyn the other day, eh?" Carrots asked coolly.

"Wait till I catch you outside, an' we'll see if you've got anything more to say 'bout Brooklyn!" And with this threat Master Jellison and his friends advanced to a settee nearer the judge, where they seated themselves with a great show of what was probably intended to be dignity.

"He's come to see if we're goin' to tell anything 'bout the row," Teenie whispered; and it could plainly be seen that Master Ma.s.sey was very much frightened regarding the probable outcome of thus attempting to aid the stranger.

At that moment Carrots was startled out of his self-possession--although he had come especially as a witness--by hearing his name called in a loud tone.

Three times the clerk shouted "Joseph Williams," and then Carrots exclaimed:

"By jiminy! he means me, doesn't he?"

"Of course he does. Go 'long quick, or else that feller'll be up on the Island before they know you're here," said Teenie.

It was necessary the witness should pa.s.s Skip Jellison on his way to the stand; and, in so doing, he saw Teddy's enemy scowl and shake his fist in the most threatening manner.

"Don't get excited," Carrots stopped long enough to say. "You're comin'

out of it all right, even if you don't feel very good now."

Then he continued on until some one directed him which way to go; and for the first time in his life he laid his hand on a Bible, and swore to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

If, as is extremely probable, Skip had come for the purpose of hearing what was said, he was disappointed, as are nearly all the visitors to the Tombs court, where it is an impossibility for one on the spectators'

benches to distinguish any remark made either by the judge or the witness, unless the latter chances to have a particularly clear voice.

Those inside the railing, however, could understand quite distinctly all that was said; and, judging from their mirth, Carrots's examination must have been to them an amusing one.

On being asked his name, the witness replied, "Carrots;" and then the judge glowered down upon him until he realized that he previously answered to that of "Joseph Williams."

After having made the proper correction, and before it was possible for any one to ask him a question, Carrots leaned toward the magistrate in a confidential and friendly manner, as he began:

"You see, Judge, it was jest like this: Skip he jumped in an' hit Teddy one in the face, an' then come back with a left-hander; but Teddy warded it off, an' then--"

"Stop!" the judge cried, severely. "When I want you to tell the story I will ask for it. Did you see this boy fighting in the park?"

"He wasn't fightin' at all. He didn't have time, for the park policeman caught him. You see, it was jest this way: Skip he jumped in an' smashed Teddy in the face, an' then come with a left-hander--"

Again was the witness interrupted; and this time Mr. Varney stepped forward to where he could say in a low tone to Carrots:

"You must simply answer the judge's questions--not attempt to tell the story yourself."

"Yes, sir; but how'll he know what's what if I don't give him the whole right through?" Carrots asked in a hoa.r.s.e whisper.

"Attend to what he says, and don't try to tell anything else."

"What was this boy doing when the policeman arrested him?" the judge asked, as he looked sternly at the witness.

"He wasn't doin' nothin', 'cause he didn't have time. You see, Skip run as soon as he hit him, an' knocked his papers down, an' then--"

"Did the prisoner go in pursuit of the boy whom you call Skip?"

"Course he did; 'cause, you see, Skip knocked his papers in the mud, an'

hit him once in the face; an' he would have come in with a left-hander, if Teddy hadn't warded it off."

"What was the prisoner doing when this boy struck him?"

"He was sellin' a paper to a man in a horse-car. You see, Skip he 'lowed that Teddy couldn't run the business in New York; but Teddy he walked 'way down from Saranac jest to get a livin', an' Skip don't have any right to tell fellers whether they're to work or not."

"Had the prisoner said anything to this boy who struck him?"

"No; you see, he didn't have time. Skip jumped right in an' hit him once in the face, an'--"

"Now, don't tell that story again. Had there been any quarrel between these two?"

"No, sir; you see, Teddy didn't come in town till this mornin', an' he never knew Skip from a side of sole-leather."

"Is he a friend of yours?"

"Well, I s'pose he is," Carrots replied, hesitatingly. "You see, when he got into trouble, somebody had to help him out, an' there didn't seem to be anybody willin' but me. He ought ter be my friend if I'm goin' to black the lawyer's boots a whole year jest to pay for this racket."

"If your honor will allow me, I will tell the story as I have managed to extract it--I use the word 'extract' advisedly--from this witness and his friend," the lawyer said, as he advanced a few paces amid the smiles of all those near the bench.

"Do you wish to explain about your fee?" the judge asked, laughingly.

"Perhaps that is hardly necessary, since lawyers are seldom known to refuse anything offered in the way of payment. That was the proposition made by the witness and witnessed by his friend."

Then the attorney related what had occurred in his office, to the no slight amus.e.m.e.nt of those who could hear him; and, when he concluded, the judge turned to Carrots again, looking very much more friendly than before.

"Then you a.s.sure me on your oath that the prisoner did not fight with the other boy in City Hall Park?"

"Why, no; how could he? He didn't get the chance. You see, Skip hit him in the face, an' then come in with a left-hander; but Teddy warded it off, and then Skip run. The policeman grabbed Teddy too quick, you see.

I reckon he'd have paid Skip off in great shape, 'cause I b'lieve he can do it."

"Then you admit that he would have fought if he had had the opportunity?"

"Of course he would! S'posin' a feller smashed you in the neck, an'

knocked your papers in the mud, wouldn't you fight? I guess you would!"

"I will do the questioning, and you can confine yourself to answering,"