Beautiful: Truth's Found When Beauty's Lost Part 17

It took a moment for her to remember the paper birds she'd smashed. "You sent those?"

"Yes. It's a hobby I learned as a kid."

"Megan saved a few," she said and motioned to her desk, where five of the survivors sat.

"Did you ever read a book called Jonathan Livingston Seagull?" Will pulled her desk chair out and sat on it backwards with his legs stretching out. He rested his arms on the back of the chair.

"No."

"You should."

Ellie sat awkwardly, then moved to the small window seat across from him. There was a haze in the glow of a streetlight. The winter had yet to pa.s.s. Usually February and March brought the first of green and surprisingly warm days within the cold and threats of snow, but not this year. It had been a long, cold winter, everyone said.

"It's my favorite book, I think."

"What's it about?"

"This seagull wants to improve his flying, though his flock is against his experiments. It's about pus.h.i.+ng beyond the expected limits, going beyond the social norms despite the backlash, in the effort to be excellent."

Ellie raised an eyebrow. "And you think I need to rise above my limitations and do something beyond what my little seagull wings can do?"

"You have read it." He grinned widely, and she couldn't be annoyed with him.

"What about Michener's books?"

Ellie shook her head.

"Have you read Gone with the Wind? The Power and the Glory-another of my favorites. Greene was a great writer. I'll bring The Third Man over sometime to watch. He wrote the book and the screenplay. Have you read any Chekhov?"

"You already cased out my bookshelf. You know what I read." He laughed. "So I was hoping your works of literature were hidden in some cubbyhole. What's with the self-improvement collection?"

"Give me a cigarette," Ellie said, suddenly surprised by the yearning. Why was it that so many of the damaged people smoked?

"No. But I'll bring you some books tomorrow. Some of us have to go to school, so I'll be here afterwards."

And with that he hopped up from the chair, said goodbye, and was gone.

Chapter 14.

THE OUTSIDER.

The Anonymous Blog about Life at West Redding High February 27

We have a new head chef at Cafeteria Redding High. I say "chef" because-I can't believe I'm writing this-the food rocks. Now, as a voice of criticism and angst, it isn't an easy thing for me to offer glowing reviews. But have you tried the teriyaki chicken or the Greek salad? Whatever powers-that-be hired the new cook should receive an award. It nearly makes me sad to be graduating.

And yes, Ellie Summerfield is back at home. According to her family, she will not be returning to school at this time. We should respect her privacy.

Mom took Ellie to her PT appointment-more torture and pain. Ellie wondered if there'd ever be one single day when she didn't feel pain. Again, s.h.i.+vers of fear crept over her while riding in the car, but she was thankful her left side wasn't facing out the pa.s.senger side.

"Do you want to go shopping for some new clothes?"

"No," Ellie said, though she wanted to scream, Are youserious? How could you think I'd want to go to the mall like this?!

Mom appeared hurt, but Ellie didn't apologize. When they got home, Mom brought up her schoolbooks and a.s.signment sheets, reminding her that Mr. Carr was coming on Friday to check her progress. Ellie turned on a soap opera and rested in bed. In a half hour, she figured out that some guy had come back to town after being thought dead, and wanted his wife back. The wife had married a doctor who had knocked up a patient who had gone crazy when he wouldn't leave his new wife. Ellie changed the channel, flipping through movies and talk shows and settling on a home renovation program.

A knock on the door woke her. Will walked in with an armload of books and movies.

"You know, my parents never let me have a guy in my room before."

"Maybe they don't think of me as a threat?"

"Before they would have said, 'We trust you, Ellie. But even the appearance of such a thing isn't a good idea. And temptation sneaks up on you.'"

"So are you tempted?"

She laughed at that.

"Ouch. You laugh at the idea of being tempted by me."

"That's not why I laughed."

She was flirting with him, actually flirting, with half her face disfigured and her body bandaged. She must look ridiculous.

"Will you please give me a cigarette?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Why do people normally ask for cigarettes?"

"I'm all out," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Guess I'll go get one from Megan's room."

"This is a bad idea." He pulled a pack out of the pocket of his loose-fitting s.h.i.+rt. "Your parents won't find me as non-threatening if you get caught. And I'd bet your doctors would find smoking about the last habit you need to acquire."

He tossed her a lighter. Ellie opened her window and sat beside it. She flicked the lighter on and lit the cigarette. She took a slight puff, careful not to fill her lungs too quickly, like most first-timers did. The action and the taste relaxed her.

"This isn't my first roller coaster."

"I think the correct phrase is, 'This isn't my first rodeo.'"

"Yeah, I like my roller coaster better." She inhaled again and felt it calm her nerves. She'd always thought smoking was stupid, and it was just that. But she hadn't appreciated the comfort it provided, some strange immediate relief. Mittens came to the screen and meowed, giving an odd sniff of the air, and looked at Ellie as if she was doing something wrong. Ellie ignored him. "So what's with the books and movies? Trying to educate me?"

"You may have a 4.0, but I'm discovering some real flaws in your education. We're going to start with the films of Orson Wells." He held up a DVD case.

"Citizen Kane?"

"You've seen it?" he said in disappointment.

"No, but I heard it's supposed to be one of the best movies ever made."

"The best. And with a lot of scandal attached. William Randolph Hearst, who was the media mogul of that era, was so angered by the plot that he tried to stop the movie from being aired."

Will grabbed her cigarette, took a drag, and then carried it into the bathroom, where he flushed it.

"Hey!" she said.

"You aren't going down that road."

She shook her head, feeling a twitch of pain in her neck, and closed the window. "What was the scandal about?"

He took out the DVD and pushed it into the machine. "Let's watch; then I'll tell you."

There was a light tap on the door.

Will reached for a bottle of her perfume and gave the air a few quick sprays. "You've done enough to your parents."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

The door opened a crack. "Ellie?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Sweetie, I didn't know when you'd like this back." Mom held a box in her hand. "Oh, William, I didn't know you were here. Megan made some cocoa, and I bought animal cookies -the ones with pink and white frosting and little sprinkles on top. They're Ellie's favorites. I'll bring you some."

"Thanks, Mrs. Summerfield."

"So, what is that?" Ellie asked. She did hope her mother wouldn't catch the scent of cigarettes in the room.

"Oh, the box, yes," her mother said. She carried it to the bed and set it down. "It's different items recovered from the accident."

Ellie pulled back from the box as if burned. It was like a tiny coffin holding the dead. Would she find Stasia inside there, or maybe her own lost soul?

"Do you want me to bring it back later?" she asked, stuttering slightly when she looked at Ellie's face. She glanced over to Will for help in rectifying the moment, the way she always did with Ellie's father. What do I do? the look seemed to ask. "Stasia's mom went through and picked out what she thought belonged to Stasia . . ."

"Just leave it," Ellie said.

Mom hesitated a moment, then left muttering that she'd bring up cocoa and cookies in a while.

Will and Ellie stared at the box. Then Will rose and moved to the window, opening it wider. He pulled out his cigarettes and tapped out two, handing Ellie one when she joined him at the window.

"This is your last. You don't want to get sick. And we definitely don't want you to get hooked. Smoking is not as cool as I make it look."

She smiled at that and took the cigarette.

They didn't talk, only smoked side by side, turning slightly to blow the smoke out the window. When they were finished, Ellie took the cigarette b.u.t.ts and went to her bathroom and flushed them down the toilet. She caught her reflection in the mirror, the bad side, and paused to examine it in the light.

"Okay, let's see what treasures were recovered," she said, walking out of the bathroom and trying to brush away any foreboding.

The bed creaked as Will gathered the pillows behind his head and got comfortable.

Ellie paused, smiling at him. "You know that I've never been allowed to have a boy in my room before, and now you're stretched out on my bed."

"I told you, parents think I'm harmless."

"I doubt that. If anything it's because you're polite and say 'Mrs. Summerfield.' And are you harmless?"

He paused then and smiled. "Depends on what you define as harmful."

They were flirting again, and it again made her feel ridiculous.

"What's with the cloud over Suns.h.i.+ne's face?"

"Shut up," she said, suddenly annoyed.

"We'll talk about that soon enough," he said.

"Talk about what?"

"Your issues," he said lightly, which angered her more. He laughed. "Come on. Let's see what's in here."

She wanted to say something back, but he was looking at the box.

"You open it," she said.

"Okay." He rose from the bed.

"Wait-" She hadn't expected him to say okay.

He stared at her, waiting.