Promises: Promises Prevail Part 32

Clint's hold gentled. "For what?"

"For threatening to shoot your friends."

"It's not the first time someone's taken a potshot at them."

"I don't know what happened."

"You got scared."

"That's no excuse."

"For a while, we'll let it slide as one."

"I'm still sorry." He was so kind. So patient. Sheturned her cheek against his chest.

"For pointing a gun at Cougar and Asa? Or for trying to kill yourself?"

She didn't know how to answer that. A tug at her nape had her head tilting back. The sun from the parlor window slanted off his right cheekbone, illuminating his dark eyes with streaks of light.

"The latter you need to spend a lifetime apologizing for." His lips touched hers. "You're mine, Suns.h.i.+ne.

Forever. No matter what."

She'd never been kissed with so much emotion.

Never been held with so much tenderness. And never, ever wanted to believe something so badly. He held her until her heartbeat slowed. Until her panic ebbed, and until her embarra.s.sment faded beneath the steadiness of his touch. As it did, she noted that while she was relaxed, he was not. The arms that held her were tense, the heart beating beneath her cheek did so faster than normal, and when she glanced at his face there were white lines carved beside his mouth.

"Clint?"

He looked down. "What do you need Jenna?"

Not an abrupt, "What?" No lecture-just an instant offer of comfort.

"You're upset," she began, not sure how to broach the subject."You scared the s.h.i.+t out of me."

She stroked his chest. "I scared myself."

"We'll get past it." He had such faith in her. For absolutely no reason.

"We have to."

"I know."

She touched the corner of his mouth where the skin showed white. He deserved a reason. He deserved a wife he could count on. "I can't be her anymore, Clint."

He frowned. "Who?"

She moved her touch to the lines between his dark brows. "That woman who gets so mindless with fear that she does stupid things."

"Glad to hear it." The lines around his eyes might have softened imperceptibly.

"I don't know how, but I'm going to change." She meant every word. "I'm not leaving you or Brianna because of the past."

"There's no rush. I'll be more careful."

How much more careful could he be?

"I think some of this has to come from me." She ran her finger down the straight bridge of his nose, taking strength from his confidence. She could be the woman he saw when he looked at her."When you're ready." His hand smoothed over her hair, his pinkie catching in a snarl.

"I'm ready now."

"Now?" He raised an eyebrow at her and eased his finger free.

She nodded. "I want to make you feel better."

"I'm fine." He hugged her as carefully as if she were fine china and in danger of shattering.

He wasn't. She could feel the tension humming beneath his skin. "Please?"

He tipped her chin up. "What I need, you're not in any condition to give me."

The rejection hit her hard. She dropped her gaze and folded her hands in her lap. It took about two seconds for her to realize what she'd done. And after she'd vowed to change. She tipped her face up and looked Clint dead in the eye.

"No."

"No?" Both his eyebrows went winging up.

She couldn't blame him for his surprise. She'd never said that to him without being out of her head, but she was saying it to him now. She clenched her fingers tighter. "You can't keep treating me like I'll break, and then expect me to be strong."

"I don't expect you to be strong."That hurt more than the rejection. "I want to be, and you have to help me."

"I do?" He leaned back as if to see her better.

"Yes, starting now." She took a breath and let it out.

"You have to tell me what you need and let me decide if I can give it to you."

"That sounded like an order."

She took another breath, held it in an agony of daring and answered, "It was."

He didn't move or seem to breathe for three heartbeats, and then, unbelievably, he laughed. "You are an amazing woman, Jenna McKinnely."

The back of his fingers brushed her cheek, his dark eyes thoughtful. She leaned into them and waited. He sighed, and she knew she'd won.

"I came too d.a.m.ned close to losing you." He paused, and a muscle in his jaw leapt. "I need you."

"You want to make love to me?"

"More than just make love." He shook his head as if disgusted with himself. "I want to bury myself in you until you can't separate where I end and you begin."

"And you think I wouldn't want to give you that?"

She turned in his arms, her breast pressing into his stomach, one hand going to where she knew his scars were, imagining she could feel them through all thebarriers. She'd give him anything he wanted.

"You're very vulnerable right now."

She shook her head, avoiding his gaze. The thought of making love right now with the memories so strong made her cringe, but the thought of disappointing Clint when he needed her was worse.

"Maybe I need you like that, too. Maybe I need to know you still want me."

"I'll always want you." His hand curved around the back of her skull, cradling her head. She slid her hands over his shoulders, skimming her fingers up the side of his neck, stroking his jaw with her thumbs before cupping his cheeks and pulling his mouth to hers. She focused on Clint. He was the only one who mattered right now.

"Then kiss me." She needed him to make the demons go away. To remind her of how things were now.

He did, his mouth gentle as it touched hers, a mere brus.h.i.+ng of lips when she expected possession. The easy ebb and flow of his mouth on hers gave her time to adjust fully to the moment. To push away the last remnants of the past. She gave herself to his kiss, the strength in it, the comfort. Beneath her hands she felt the finest of tremors. .h.i.t him before his kiss changed, became harder, deeper, more pa.s.sionate, as if he needed to stake his claim.She opened her mouth to the thrust of his tongue, taking him into her, holding him, understanding his need as she shared it. She needed to know he was real, too. That he would be there for her when she reached out. That he was hers. No matter what.

His hand slipped down to the back of her neck, tilting her head for a better angle. Deepening the thrust, taking control away from her, leaving her helpless to do anything but receive his desire.

His hand dipped to the hollow of her back as he mated his mouth to hers, arching her over his arm. Pain stabbed up from her leg as the pressure increased. She moaned and pushed at his broad shoulders. There was only the minimal give of his shearling coat before she hit rock-hard muscle. His mouth parted a breath from hers.

"It's okay, baby. Just give me a little more."

She pressed harder. "My leg."

The words were lost in his mouth as her breath swirled with his. For the s.p.a.ce of a heartbeat, she didn't think he'd heard, but then he was in motion, lifting her off his lap as if she weighed nothing. Holding her so that none of her weight was on her legs as he pushed off the wall. She grabbed for his neck as he stood.

He swung her up in his arms, his chest shuddering against her as he drew in a deep breath. She tightened her grip around his neck as he cradled her close."I'm sorry, Suns.h.i.+ne."

She didn't want him sorry. She tilted her head back to see his face. "It was just the position."

He was shaking his head before she finished the sentence, his long hair brus.h.i.+ng her cheek in a soft caress. "I should be horsewhipped for going at you like that after what you've been through." He headed into the parlor.

"It was a long time ago."

He paused in the parlor door. His eyes were knowing, his expression hard. "Close enough in your mind that I almost lost you because of it."

She couldn't argue that. She rested her cheek on his shoulder as he carried her into the comfortable room. He laid her on the soft cus.h.i.+ons of the settee, the worry in his eyes telling her that he wasn't going to pick up where they had left off.

"I won't slip like that again."

"I know."

He didn't sound like he believed her. "I won't, Clint."

In the aftermath of that hysterical moment, she felt free. For the first time in her life-free. As if everything that had been too confusing for understanding was now suddenly clear and firmly in place, where it belonged.As if it really was possible to start over. One step at a time. Away from the past, into her future.

"Good." He cupped her face in his hands as he knelt beside her. "I want you to rest now."

"I don't need to rest."

He traced the line of her cheekbones with his thumbs. "I want you to try." He reached for the throw and covered her up.

"What about you?" She caught his hand as he would have pulled back.

"I'm going to work the edge off on that d.a.m.ned horse."

She almost felt sorry for the horse. Clint practically vibrated with tension.

She sighed. "I wish you'd work it off on me."

His eyes flared with heat before it was quickly banked. She knew what the answer was before he shook his head. "I'm too raw for careful, and you're too raw for wild."

He was right. Darn it. She moved his hair behind his shoulder, guilt gnawing at her. He needed her, and once again she was falling short of giving him what he wanted. "But later?"

"You can count on later." He kissed the inside of her arm. The abrupt move was a poor imitation of his normalsmoothness, telling her more than words about how on edge he really was beneath his control. His hair fell forward again, as stubborn as he about doing what it wanted.

"What about Bri?"

He smiled and tucked the comforter around her shoulders. "I think the three of us can handle one sweet little girl for a couple of hours."

"You said she was a h.e.l.lion," she reminded him with a faint smile.

"I like that in her."

Yes, he did. He seemed to enjoy everything about the little girl, from her good moods to her bad.

Delighting in her temper and her smiles with equal fervor. He was unlike anyone she'd ever met before.

The cus.h.i.+on dipped as he pushed to his feet. "I'll stoke the stove before I go. You relax and take a nap."

"I'm not sick."

"No, but you've been up with Bri the last few nights and you're still tired." He crossed to the small stove. The door creaked as he opened it. "And that leg could use a rest," he added as he stuffed a few logs onto the glowing embers.

Would he always see her as a cripple? "You promise you'll come back?"His right eyebrow arched as he reminded her, "You're my wife. This is my home."

And he was a good man who'd made a promise to honor both. Her fingers twisted in the throw. She wanted to be more to him than a duty.

His boots made soft thumps as he crossed the wide planked floor. His hand was heavy on hers as he unknotted her fingers.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jenna." He brought her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. His brow creased with worry and strain as his eyes met hers. "I'll be outside. If you need me, just ring the bell."

She pushed up on her elbows, determined that he know this one thing. "And I'll be in here if you need me."

He nodded, but his expression didn't relax. "I'll keep that in mind."

He didn't believe she meant it.