The Family Simon: Jack Part 6
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"You run, Donovan. Things get bad and you deflect and then you run. You don't explain, you just do whatever the h.e.l.l you want."
An eyebrow lifted as she looked straight at him. "Do you hate me for what I did?"
The question came out of nowhere, and for a moment Jack wasn't sure what to say. And for a guy who was used to using words to get his point across, that wasn't a good place to be in. He watched her closely. Watched the play of emotion flickering in her eyes which were now gla.s.sy.
Did he get into this now? Did he open that can of worms?
"Would it matter if I did?"
She blinked rapidly and nodded, her voice barely a whisper. "Yes. It would matter."
"Why?" he asked without thinking.
Tense, Jack moved a few inches back, rolling on his heels as he stared down into a face that he would never forget. A face that belonged to the woman who'd walked away from him all those years ago. It was all her. h.e.l.l, she'd refused to talk to him when he'd driven all the way to Nashville from Florida to confront her, and then she'd threatened to have security throw him out of the G.o.dd.a.m.n hotel when he refused to leave.
He shouldn't have to remind himself that he'd moved on and had no desire to revisit their past. So why was he asking her the one question he shouldn't care to know the answer to?
He felt that slow burn of anger again, and eyes flat he watched her, his wine gla.s.s held so tightly he was surprised it didn't shatter in his hand. This is how he needed to be with her. Hard and uncompromising. It's what she deserved.
"Jack," she said roughly. "Let's just eat. A trip down memory lane isn't going to be good for either one of us."
She was right. He had no desire to rehash a past that was totally f.u.c.ked.
"Let's eat," he said abruptly, turning toward the patio.
Spell broken, Jack was back on his game. Even though his appet.i.te had pretty much vanished, he'd eat his steak, drink his wine and do whatever it took to forget about her. No way was he letting Donovan James get under his skin again.
Chapter Eight.
The next day Jack was aloof, his political game face on. He answered a few questions about his campaign, but it was painfully obvious he wasn't interested in conversation. Polite or not. So Donovan gave up.
She spent the day pretending to read the Huxley book, and Jack spent the day out on the water. No shared meals. No conversation. There was just nothing.
And yet the entire day she was hyper-aware of every move he made. Her eyes followed him from behind her over-sized Gucci's, and even the silent treatment did nothing to abate her need to watch him.
Lunch and then dinner came and went. He made himself pasta and salad (Mary kept the fridge and pantry well stocked), and then he'd eaten alone on the patio.
Jack was right, Donovan was hopeless in the kitchen, so she settled on a peanut b.u.t.ter sandwich, a soda, and a chocolate bar for dessert. Which she ate down on the dock because there was no way she was going to sit on the patio with Jack and take his silent treatment.
When he left for a walk around the island just as dusk was falling, Donovan escaped to her bedroom and now, nearly twelve hours later, after a third night of next to no sleep, her nerves were wrung so tight that a headache was burrowing inside her skull.
Tomorrow Roger and Mary should return, and Donovan prayed that they'd come sooner. She hadn't been able to write. Hadn't picked up her guitar since Jack arrived and the slow, s.e.xual burn that wouldn't go away was driving her crazy. How could two people who hated each other so much still have that connection? She knew he felt it. She'd seen it in his eyes.
All of that coupled with the tension and the sleepless nights were making her cranky, and she contemplated hiding out in her bedroom for the day. But then the more she thought about things, the more angry she got.
She paced her room, worrying her lower lip until it was raw and finally she realized how ridiculous she was being. She scooped up her towel and book (why oh why hadn't she brought at least one People Magazine?) and opened her bedroom door.
She strode out into the main room, ready for whatever side of Jack Simon she was going to get, only to find the place deserted.
Huh.
"Jack?" she called out softly. But nothing. Only the breeze coming in through the open windows, making the wind chimes sing.
Donovan downed two headache tablets, grabbed her stuff, this time she tossed in her notebook and pencil, and headed down to the beach. Her spot was vacant. The beach was vacant. In fact it seemed as if the entire island was vacant.
Glancing over to the dock, she noticed the second boat was missing and lips pursed, she began to unpack for the day.
"Could have at least left me a note," she muttered. "Maybe I wanted to use it today." Not really but still. "Hope a G.o.dd.a.m.n shark finds you," she said, eyes on the water and then glanced around. "Jesus, Donnie. You're starting to sound as crazy as you feel."
That was an understatement.
She was b.i.t.c.hing about a boat she didn't even know how to drive, and she was talking to herself. Falling into her beach chair in a huff, she reached for her notebook instead of the book-that-she-would-never-read.
Her notebook was for writing songs. For getting words down that she could put to melody. But as she stared out over the water, feeling more lonely than she could ever remember feeling before, she began to think of a lot of thinks that she'd pushed to the back of her mind. Dark things. Painful things. Secret things.
Taking her pencil out of her mouth Donovan sighed, and after a few seconds she began to write. What ended up in the pages weren't words meant for music. Nope. They carried a lot more weight than that. They were words meant to tell a story. The sad story of Donovan and Jack.
And the night it all went to h.e.l.l.
By mid afternoon she'd filled more than twenty pages, her cursive writing small and neat. She was spent, emotionally drained, and glancing down at the paper, it was no wonder. Everything was there. Every sad and sordid detail.
Getting stuff out was supposed to make you feel better, but right now, in this moment, she felt nothing but overwhelming sadness for the life that she could have had. A life that she wanted. A life that she thought about every single day.
Tired and hungry Donovan, headed up to the house. By the time she showered and prepared herself the saddest looking salad ever (she'd tried to get the caramelized walnut thing happening but burnt them instead), the sky was blocked out by yet another storm rolling in.
Determined not to dwell on Jack, she ate her salad on the patio and tried to ignore the empty chair across from her. And the empty dock for that matter, which was even harder to do, because big fat raindrops began to fall just as she was finis.h.i.+ng up her dinner. Along with the rain came thunder, and a bolt of lightening ripped a hole in the sky. She barely made it inside before a deluge fell from the stormy clouds.
Now Donovan was the kind of girl who loved the rain. When she was little she used to run around and try to catch drops on her tongue, and if it was thundering and lightening, even better. Her gramps, G.o.d bless him, used to call her the little witch. Her mom? Just plain stupid.
Of course things changed the summer she turned twelve and witnessed her cousin Zack get hit by a bolt that came at them without any warning.
The smell of burning flesh was something she'd never forget, and her cousin Zack had never been the same. Lucky to be alive, he suffered third degree burns and lasting neurological defects, including seizures. Another thing her mother had blamed Donovan for.
"Can't you ever listen? You know that trouble always finds you, and now your cousin is gonna be a vegetable, and that's all your fault."
So yeah, Donovan wasn't a fan of lightening and Jack Simon was a fool to be out on the water in such a storm. He, of all people, knew better. What the h.e.l.l was he thinking? Was he so p.i.s.sed at being stuck on this island with her that he had to take the boat out into the Caribbean to get away from her?
Whatever, she thought. But whatever didn't make her feel any better because an hour pa.s.sed and no Jack. And then another. Still no Jack.
By this time it was dark outside, and her bandaged foot was killing her from all the pacing she'd done. Up and down, back and forth. Across the patio where it still rained and then back inside. But she couldn't stop. Worry had her nerves jumping like a Mexican bean, and her stomach was just as bad, tied up in knots that would make Christian Grey proud.
Jesus. It wasn't fair that she still cared so much.
Where was he? Was he hurt? Had the storm somehow overturned his boat? Was he somewhere out there in shark infested waters, trying to keep his head above water?
"Sweet Jesus," she whispered hoa.r.s.ely. Sharks.
But no one was listening, and Donovan pa.s.sed another hour watching the darkness and cursing herself for not bringing along a cell phone. Because if she had one, surely she'd have alerted the coast guard. Did Belize even have a coast guard?
The thunder and lightening had stopped, though the rain was still holding steady. Feeling like a caged bird, Donovan headed for the patio and let the water wash over her, arms crossed over her chest as she tried to find some kind of comfort.
Minutes pa.s.sed-long minutes that stretched into at least thirty-and Donovan was trembling from cold, fatigue, and fear. What would she do if he didn't come back? It was then that something caught her eye and wiping water from the corners, she strained to see what it was. When the sound of a motor cut through the night, she whimpered, eyes glued to the dock.
The moon was still playing hide and seek with the storm clouds, so she could barely make out the dock. Without thinking or even pulling on her sandals, she sprinted down the steps, nearly tripping over the small bushes at the bottom and ran toward the water.
She was acting on impulse. Adrenaline and fear driving her forward. It was a miracle that she didn't fall and break a leg on her mad scramble to get to the dock.
By the time she hopped onto the wooden boards, slick from the rain, she could see Jack tying up the boat, and she didn't stop running until he turned toward her. She slammed into his chest and slid her arms around him, squeezing her eyes shut. He was back.
"Oh my G.o.d, Jack. I was so worried. I...I thought the boat sank or you were hit by lightening or a...a shark tore off one of your legs. I'm going crazy. You've been gone all day and I..."
She shuddered against him, her body trembling and her throat closing up as a wall of emotion rolled through her. She might have even wailed.
"Hey, I'm here. I'm okay. Two legs, two arms."
She felt his warm breath against her cheek and tilted her head slightly so that she could see his face. The rain still fell, but it was now a gentle caress that slid over his bare skin and then onto hers.
His hair was slicked back off his forehead, and she noticed that he'd shaved this morning. His eyes, oh they were as dark as the devil's, and they watched her, never wavering .
That well of emotion was still inside her, buried beneath flesh and bone, taking up residence where her heart was. For a few crazy moments, she'd contemplated what a bleak empty world it would be if Jack Simon was lost to her.
Even if he didn't belong to her anymore, it mattered. It mattered a h.e.l.l of a lot more than she liked. But the simple truth was that being able to covet him from afar was better than mourning a ghost.
His hand crept along her jaw, and Jack held her in his arms, eyes intense as they moved over her face, his warmth giving her body an infusion of heat. But still she trembled. Still she ached. Still the leftover fear was eating her up.
His thumb settled over the mole next to her mouth, and an image of his tongue sliding over it flashed in her mind.
"Where were you?" she whispered, desperately trying to find a way to break the spell he had over her. "Why would you just leave?"
"Hey, I'm sorry I worried you." His voice was all kinds of husky goodness and something inside Donovan melted. d.a.m.n. She wasn't strong enough.
"I planned on being back by dinner, but then the storm rolled in and I had to wait it out."
"But where were you? I woke up, and you were gone."
"I boated over to Caye Caulker. Roger told me about it the other day. It's an island. Not quite as big as Ambergris Caye but-"
Donovan blinked water from her eyes. Wait. what?
"You went to an island." It wasn't a question. "Spent the entire day on another island." Again not a question.
He didn't answer and in those few seconds, a couple of things happened. One, that big old ball of emotion inside Donovan began to pound, like a drum beat over and over again. Hard and relentless.
And two, as the emotion pushed to the surface it boiled hot, feeding a raw and hurtful anger that left her almost speechless.
She thumped him on the chest-hard-and yanked herself out of his arms. Of all the stupid selfish things... She was so angry she could barely form a coherent thought. Chest heaving, she stared up at him incredulously.
"You left this morning and spent the entire day on an island, leaving me here all alone? With no phone or anybody to talk to? I could have fallen and broken my neck and no one would have known. Or gone for a swim and had a cramp and drowned. Again no one would know because I was all alone."
Voice shaky, she took a moment, but the more time she took the more hurt and angry she became.
"I didn't matter enough for you to leave a f.u.c.king note? A little scribble to say, hey Donnie, I'm off to some exotic island, because I can't stand being near you? Oh and while I'm having a nice cold beer in some sw.a.n.ky bar, maybe I'll bang some island girl while I'm there? Huh? Would that have been too much to ask?"
"Donovan." He held his hands out, palms up, the universal sign of peace and she slapped at them.
"Don't you dare..." her voice was hoa.r.s.e, and she struggled to catch her breath. "Don't you dare 'Donovan' me. I can't believe you."
"You're overreacting," he said carefully, moving back a few inches. Smart move. Donovan had a good right hook, and Jack d.a.m.n well knew it.
"Overreacting? You haven't seen overreacting. I was alone all d.a.m.n day. A band of pirates could have come ash.o.r.e and taken me and done G.o.d knows what to me."
"Pirates?"
"Yes, pirates," she snapped. "You know, I'm the captain now? Pirates?"
He looked at her as if she was losing her marbles and maybe she was, but Jesus, Jack Simon deserved to feel at least some of the anxiety she'd gone through because of him.
"Donnie."
"Don't call me that. I'm not your Donnie. I'm not your anything. Because of you, I'll never be..."
Anyone's anything. The words were stuck in her throat which was something to be grateful for, at least.
"Never mind," she said, turning abruptly because that stupid ball of emotion decided now was as good a time as any to bubble up, and she was going to cry.
Dammit. She was going to cry.
But not in front of Jack. She'd rather jump off the dock and say h.e.l.lo to a whole school of sharks than let him see just how much he still meant to her.
How much he could still hurt her.
She took one step. One step.
And felt his hand on her arm.
Chapter Nine.
The Family Simon: Jack Part 6
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The Family Simon: Jack Part 6 summary
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