Theirs Not To Reason Why: An Officer's Duty Part 16

Taking a step closer, Meyun caught one of her hands, sending a thrill of excitement and fear up her nerves from the warmth of his fingers cupping hers.

"You're absolutely right, this could torpedo our advancement possibilities if it gets out of hand...but the b.i.t.c.h of it is, Chaplain Bennie is also right. If we don't confront this, get it out in the open and deal with it, we won't stand a chance at effectively leading anyone under our command." Holding her hand a moment longer, he squeezed her fingers and released it, stepping back. Tucking his hands into his trouser pockets, Meyun shrugged. "So. The question is, where do we go from here, and how do we handle this...attraction...between us?"

"I don't know. I've never had to deal with this situation before," Ia admitted honestly. "I'll try not to ignore you in our quarters, but...I won't compromise the rules."

"If I may make a suggestion-and no, you may not say I've already suggested enough," Bennie interjected, "I'd like to point out that there is a narrow window of opportunity that both of you are overlooking."

Both Ia and Meyun gave her bemused looks.

"Just because your careers are headed in different directions doesn't mean you can't have a little fun before parting company," Chaplain Benjamin pointed out. "After all, most cadets are given a week of Leave after graduation before being s.h.i.+pped out."

"I was planning on saving that week for later, so I could have more time to get back home again in a few years," Ia pointed out.

"I've done the calculations. The next round of the flight school you've picked doesn't start until five days after you're scheduled to graduate, or twenty-five days after, and I know you'll be aiming for the earlier session," Bennie said. "Factor in a day for travel to the Academy Saturnia, and that gives you four whole days with nothing to do. It's not like you can offer to do guard duty around here in the interim, like you did back on the s.h.i.+p," she added pointedly. "Take the vacation, take each other off somewhere, and take some of the edge off your s.e.xual tension-if nothing else, it'll be a good test of your characters, holding off when you know you do have something to look forward to," she finished.

Twisting his mouth, Meyun pulled his hands out of his pockets. Eyeing Ia, he fisted his fingers, gesturing forward and down with both arms in silent insult. Ia snorted and nodded in equally silent agreement. Watching them both, Bennie tightened her mouth for a moment, then flipped her hands at the seats in the room.

"Sit down and talk it out. Whatever you decide to do is whatever you decide, but ignoring it won't make it go away."

Meyun eyed Ia, lifting his brows. She smiled mock-politely at him and gestured toward the seats. He mock-bowed in return and took himself back to the chair he had been occupying upon her entrance. Following suit, Ia dropped into one of the thickly cus.h.i.+oned chairs across from his and curled up her leg, tucking her ankle behind the other knee. Both of them ignored Bennie, who remained leaning against the counseling room door.

"Alright. Fine. How do we go about resolving this?" Ia asked him. "It's not like we can do anything about it while we're still both cadets, roommates or otherwise."

"Well, it is the elephant in the corner of our dorm room," Meyun agreed. "I like having you as a friend. I enjoy talking with you. But we can't go any farther than that. So...let's just keep a watch on each other's conduct. I want to talk with you, but if we start straying into the wrong topic, or look too long, we just say...'elephant' I guess."

"A code word?" Ia asked. He nodded, and she nodded as well. "Yes...that could work. I do miss talking with you. It was just easier to do it when other people were around. I was always aware about not going beyond the bounds of propriety with them there."

"I can understand that," he acknowledged. "It was a pain in the asteroid, because I didn't know why you were being so friendly in public and so...not...in private, but it makes sense. So. The rest of the term is covered. What about Bennie's suggestion for the days immediately after? Would you care to get a hotel room somewhere nearby and go at it like a pair of rabid rabbits for a few days? Get it out of our systems?"

Ia blushed at the suggestion.

"It'd be something to look forward to," Harper offered lightly. "A way to deal with the elephant in the room, even if it's a delayed one."

"Harper...I haven't ever 'gone at it like rabid rabbits,'" she warned him. "I'll probably be lousy at 'it.'"

"Nonsense, you'll do fine," he dismissed, flicking his fingers. "Everything else I've seen you try, you've picked up quickly and competently."

Yeah, but that was with the forewarning of precognition guiding me, she thought. Sighing, Ia rubbed her forehead with one hand. The idea of finally getting her hands and other things all over him was too appealing to resist. I'll have to contact the priests back home, see what tips they can give me for locking down my gifts during intimacy so they hopefully won't trigger. Or rather, find something in the Nets that'll give me a clue, since my calls are probably all monitored as a "cadet of interest" to the DoI, and a conversation that blatant would give everything away. My gifts, our attraction to each other...

"Besides, I could always try teaching you. Not that I'm the best myself, but practice does make perfect," Meyun joked.

That coaxed a rueful smile out of her. "Only a few days' worth...I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

A snort from the far side of the room drew their attention back to the other elephant on hand. Bennie pushed away from the door, approaching the two of them. She rolled her green eyes at Ia. "If you give yourself enough time to talk yourself out of a solution as simple and elegant as this, Ia, you will regret it. Your restraint while in the Academy is both admirable and necessary. But once you've graduated, so long as one of you isn't placed in the chain of command over the other, such restraint will no longer be necessary. If you talk yourself out of this and turn him down, so help me..."

"Excuse me, but my s.e.x life is my own business," Ia reminded the older woman. "Or the lack thereof."

"But don't you want to know?" Meyun asked her. Ia looked back at him. "Don't you want to know what it's like to make love with someone who cares about you? I don't know about you, but if I don't take the chance, I know I will regret it for the rest of my life."

Ia flushed, unsure what to say. Duty demanded she ignore her desire and focus on the future. Desire demanded she take that handful of days for herself, as compensation for everything else both her conscience and Time itself were forcing her to give up.

"What was it you said in our Ethics course two months ago?" Meyun muttered. He lifted his chin after a moment. "That you'd rather be d.a.m.ned for something you did, than something you didn't do?"

Ia winced inside. Everything she was doing, she was doing because of exactly that: She knew she'd be d.a.m.ned, one way or the other, but it was far better to be d.a.m.ned for what she had to do, than to do nothing at all and be d.a.m.ned by the consequences of her failure to act. To hear him using her own words against her like this was a lower blow than he could possibly imagine.

A resolve-shattering blow. Giving in, Ia sighed roughly. "You're right. And I probably will be d.a.m.ned for this, since we do have to part company afterward...but you're right."

He frowned at her. "Oh, gee, thanks for making lovemaking with me sound like a trip to the guillotine!"

She made a face at him, sticking out her tongue a little. "I'm not talking about the act itself. I'm talking about the possibility that either of us could end up wanting a lot more than our career tracks would permit. Just...I don't want to hurt you, Meyun. Ever. If nothing else, please believe that. Whether it's out of friends.h.i.+p, or love, or whatever, I don't want to hurt you if we try hopping on the back of this particular elephant together."

"And I don't want to hurt you," he returned, tapping the table between them. "But I'd rather be d.a.m.ned for giving it a try-in the right time and the right place, obeying the letter of the regs-than be d.a.m.ned for turning my back on this chance and walking away."

Silence fell between them. At least it wasn't as strained as before. s.h.i.+fting her hands to her hips, Bennie nodded. "Well, then. That's better. A lot better. The two of you are finally working through your differences, confronting your feelings and figuring out how to handle them in a responsible and mature manner."

Meyun dropped his head onto the padded back of the chair, while Ia rolled her eyes at her chaplain friend.

"I'm a psychologist as well as a priestess. Deal with it," Bennie ordered both of them. "Speaking of which, I'm going to want weekly evaluation sessions with each of you, separately and together. Just in case the 'elephant in the room' starts getting out of hand. You both have promising military careers ahead of you. Let's not shoot it all into the nearest star, shall we?"

"Aye, aye, sir," Ia muttered. Meyun grunted and lifted a hand in acknowledgment.

"Good." Folding her arms across her chest, Bennie studied both cadets. "Now, as for calling me what you did, regarding the...?" She freed her arms long enough to show two fists, then tucked them back together again. "I'll admit my method of forcing this confrontation was a bit blunt, but I wouldn't say it was that blunt. Apologize, both of you, and I'll let the matter drop."

"Sorry, sir," Meyun apologized promptly. "It won't happen again."

"Yes, I'm sorry, too, sir," Ia added. "You know I do respect you."

"I know it won't, and I know you do. Apologies accepted. One more thing, before I kick you out and send you back for the rest of your study hour," Bennie said. "Ia...what exactly is a 'skut'?"

"You know, I'm not entirely sure?" Ia quipped, looking up at her friend. "It was a new form of insult being tossed around on my homeworld, back when I was on extended Leave, but n.o.body ever actually explained it to me. Using it just seemed to fit the moment."

Bennie chuckled. "Next time, Cadet, if you're going to insult an officer? Be d.a.m.ned sure you know what that insult means. Particularly if you really mean it."

"Oh, I meant it," Ia quipped. "I don't know what it means, but in that moment, you were one. And a total, complete one at that, I'm sure of it."

Glancing between the two women, who were now smiling at each other, Meyun flopped his hands in a shrug. "Now I know the two of you are best friends."

As much as Ia wanted to protest otherwise, she kept her mouth shut. In her mind, best friends didn't keep major secrets from each other. Her best friends were her brothers, her family. But if it was possible to call someone a close friend who didn't know the most important parts of one's life, then Bennie would be at the top of that list. And, scary as it was to include her Invisible Rock in the Timestream, Meyun Harper was high on that list, too.

I am so shakked...

"Go on, get out," Bennie ordered, moving back to the door to unlock and open it. "I'm sure you both have homework to do. I'll set up weekly appointments for each of you-I'm supposed to be setting up counseling appointments with most of your cla.s.s anyway, to make sure none of you are getting close to cracking from the strain of the fast-track pace. I'll just schedule yours back-to-back, so we can have a few minutes of mutual elephant-discussion time."

Ia pushed to her feet. "Understood, Commander."

"Thank you, sir." Rising as well, Meyun followed Ia out. He waited until they were outside, walking through the golden light angling in from the west, where the sun was getting close to the horizon. Glancing around to make sure they were alone, he asked, "So...will you plan on spending some of your postgraduation Leave days with me? You never did say an outright yes."

She sighed, gaze more on the path they were taking back to the dormitory building than on him. "Yes. I will go with you to a hotel after we've graduated, and try all the things we cannot do while we are still enrolled in this Academy. But between then and now, it is the elephant in the corner, and we must ignore it so that it stays in the corner."

He nodded, but said nothing more. Tucking his hands behind his back, he strolled along beside her. Halfway to the dorm rooms, Meyun finally spoke.

"I think it has roller skates."

Thrown off by the non sequitur, Ia blinked at him. "What?"

"The elephant, in the corner of the room," he stated, shrugging. "I think it has roller skates. What do you think?"

"Ahh." Caught off guard by the quip, she scrambled to think of a suitable reply. "I...think it's...black with gold polka dots?"

That made him laugh, while Ia chuckled. It also released some of the tension still lingering between them. Some, but not all. There was still an elephant between them, after all.

July 25, 2493 T.S.

h.e.l.l Week, TUPSF Vasco da Gama

They tried everything to break her. They tried demoting Ia to the lowest ranks, where she simply performed to her best ability, earning praise from the crew and the other cadets. They tried a.s.signing her to the wrong departments for her skill sets. She asked questions, picked the right people for the job, and let them handle the crises afflicting the s.h.i.+p, giving praise when they handled it. The testing staff moved her quarters on board the da Gama seventeen times; she just packed and unpacked each time with heavyworlder speed and Marine Corps efficiency.

Sleep deprivation was nothing new for her, though it did cause several of the others to stumble. They were given slightly more sleep than the recruits back in Basic had been allotted, but never quite enough. On the last day, with everyone-even Ia-numb-tired from constant alerts, battle scenarios, engine breakdowns, stellar anomalies, pressure-suit drills, and more, the orders Ia had antic.i.p.ated finally echoed through the s.h.i.+p's intercom system.

"Cadet Ia, report to de bridge on de double. Acting Keptin Wong, prepare to transfer command of de da Gama to Cadet Ia."

Pausing just long enough to lock and web her cleaning equipment so it wouldn't go flying about in sudden maneuvers, Ia left the upper lifesupport cabin at a fast jog. Her uniform was damp and dirty in several places from mopping up spilled tank contents, she hadn't had time for a shower in three days, and she hadn't dared eat a heavy meal the last time one had been served.

A deck and three bulkhead seals later, she had reached the brain of the s.h.i.+p, the bridge. Unlike the old seafaring s.h.i.+ps, the bridge on a s.p.a.ce Force stars.h.i.+p was buried deep in its interior, behind layers of extra plating and redundant circuit relays. This one was located slightly above the middeck, and on the Frigate Cla.s.s slightly to the aft as well, but otherwise more or less centered.

Cadet Wong unstrapped himself from the captain's console. Saluting Ia, he stated crisply, "Acting Captain Ia, you have the bridge."

She saluted back. "Thank you, Cadet Wong. Report to Acting Lieutenant Jinja-Marsuu in lifesupport, on the double." Dropping into the seat, its cus.h.i.+ons still warm from his body heat, she strapped herself in and entered her command pa.s.scode, then toggled the intercom system on. "All hands, this is Acting Captain Ia. I believe we have only a matter of hours left before the end of h.e.l.l Week, so prepare for the absolute worst they can throw at us. But don't worry. Obey my orders, put your trust in me, and I'll do my best to see that we make it through."

She didn't bother to request a greenlight from all stations. They had been at this for a solid week, with the non-cadet crewmember swapping out every eight hours in different duty s.h.i.+fts, the same as their evaluators. But not the cadets being tested. In s.p.a.ce, there would be no chance for a greenlight ready-check. Whatever happened, whenever it happened, they would have to be ready for it as they were.

Right now, Ia was tired enough that skimming the timestreams took more energy than she wanted to spare, because right now, the probabilities were just about dead even that any single one of a dozen different scenarios would be played upon them. The level of confusion was not quite to the point of forming a grey mist over the streams, but it was close.

Swapping channels, she contacted the Special Forces captain she had met on her first full day at the Academy, the chief officer of the DoI oversight team a.s.signed to evaluate each and every cadet in Cla.s.s 1252. "Acting Captain Ia to Captain Rzhikly, the Vasco da Gama is ready for orders."

"Your orderz are to rendezvous vit Battle Platform Freeman. Coordinates are being zent to your left secondary-"

"Query, sir," Ia interjected before he could order the start of the simulation. "Is the location of Battle Platform Freeman at the rendezvous point widely known, or a military secret?"

"Vhy do you need to know dat?" Captain Rzhikly asked, his confusion conveyed in his tone.

"It might have a bearing on my command decisions, sir. As the captain, I'd know in advance if its location was public knowledge, or if it had been secretly moved to this location for whatever reason."

"Ehhh...fleep a coin!" he ordered over the comm.

A couple of mouths twitched upward on the cadets around her. Ia quickly patted down the front of her s.h.i.+rt, squirmed in her seat, and dug a handful of brown tenth-credit chits out of her trouser pocket. "Right. Heads, it's a secret rendezvous; tails, it's a widely known location."

Flicking the quasimetallic coin with her thumb, she tumbled it up, down, and deftly caught it in her left hand, slapping it onto the right one. Lifting her hand away, she displayed the "heads" side of the iridescent chit balancing on the back of her hand toward the observation pickups in the ceiling.

"Heads, sir. The rendezvous coordinates are a military secret. I will keep them as a secret for my eyes only, and relay only directional instructions to the crew."

Dropping the coin in her s.h.i.+rt pocket, Ia studied the coordinates on her left secondary screen, then closed the file, locking it to her command pa.s.scode. She tapped in a quick query to identify their s.h.i.+p's location in the simulation, and noted that they were just a single star system away. That suggested they were going to be hit hard and fast before they could even leave this system. Another touch of the controls pulled up information on both systems, this time on her right secondary screen.

"Right. Anything else we should know about this simulation, Captain?"

"Just get your s.h.i.+p and her crew bekk to de Platform, Cadet. Scenario beginz in five...four...tree..."

"All hands, brace for anything," Cadet Bruer muttered. A couple of the others laughed mirthlessly at that. The green lights indicating the pause between simulations faded out, leaving the normal white-spectrum lights glowing softly overhead. Ia was the last cadet to be given the captain's position. Their last test had begun. From this point forward until the end of the exercise, they were to treat everything as if it were real, from actions to reactions, ranks to regulations, essentials to emergencies. Just like they had all week long, whenever they were freed from the verdant glare of the green overhead lights, this was all presumed to be real.

Nothing happened.

In fact, nothing happened for several minutes. Ia didn't trust it. There were still too many choices for the testers to pull on them. She spent those minutes checking the database records on the local system, and the system where they were to rendezvous with the Battle Platform. Tired as she was, reaching deep enough into the timestreams to gauge the probability of which scenario would actually be picked would be too exhausting. There were too many choices, and she had to stay too close to the real world to be able to react in time.

It was better to stay loose and flexible right now, and that meant having plenty of information at her fingertips. They were on the fringe of Terran s.p.a.ce, not far from the Tla.s.sians and the Choya. Neither system was inhabited, which would cut down on the potential for civilian casualties-crossing off at least three possible scenarios on her precognitive list-but then neither was fully mapped, either. That added at least two more possibilities. Ones which, at FTL speed, made her nervous.

"Helm, slow to one-quarter Cee. s.h.i.+elds up and sensors on full. Navigation, get us the system buoy pings, on the double."

"Aye, sir."

"Aye, Captain."

The s.h.i.+p lurched as it slowed across the lightspeed barrier. Centuries ago, either Einstein or the people who followed him had made a major mathematical mistake. Faster-than-light travel was quite possible, but the Terrans had reached for the stars believing it was impossible, developing other-than-light technology instead. It took the other races of the Alliance to introduce them to the gentler, healthier, if slower FTL method of interstellar travel.

"Sir?" Bruer asked from his position at the gunnery system. "Insystem speeds? You only want to go a quarter the speed of light?"

"This system is only partially surveyed. I don't want-"

CLANNNGG!.

The s.h.i.+p rocked, jolting everyone in their seats. The interior force fields snapped on, cutting down on the bad bruising the restraint straps would have delivered. They cut off a second later, just as loud klaxons blared in the eerie up-and-down stuttering wail of a hull breach.

"That to happen," Ia finished, teeth clenched. "All stop! Report!"

"All stop, Aye, sir!" Cadet, or rather, Commander Vizzini called back, hands working the helm controls.

"Captain, hull breach on Decks 2 and 3, starboard bow," Abbendris reported from her position at the s.h.i.+p systems station. The decks rumbled with the application of the thruster fields, and everything swayed forward. "We've lost L-pod 1 and P-pod 1, sir."

"Do we have casualties?" Ia asked.

"No one was in those pods, sir," Bruer reminded her. "The last scen-Ah, the last duty watch didn't need them to be manned."