The Nothing Girl Part 11

I nodded.

'Its just I know you live quietly. Indeed, its necessary for you to do so. But this is so drastic. If you wanted to go away, Im sure a little trip could be arranged. A change of scenery, perhaps, would do you good. Would you like that?

'Wow! said Thomas. ' They really dont want you marrying their daughters lover, do they? What do you want to do?

And suddenly, it was all very clear, like a path laid out in front of me and lights to show the way. Doubts fell away, leaving me suddenly calm and peaceful.

'I want to marry Russell Checkland, I said to both of them.

'Well. I see. Yes. I see, said Uncle Richard, who clearly didnt. 'In that case ... Jenny, I want you to listen to me very carefully. This is important. I will speak to your aunt. She wont be happy for a few days, and if you want to spend time with your fiance, coming and going quietly from the house then I think that would be a very good idea. In the interests of peace and harmony you might want to discourage him from too frequent visits here. He does seem to have the knack of annoying your aunt.

I nodded.

'But, and this is the important thing, Jenny. I we both want you to know that should you not be happy for any reason at all you still have a home here. I urge you never to forget that. Normally, of course, I would never advocate interfering in the affairs of husband and wife and please dont think Im doing so now, but Ive grown very fond of you over the years and I just want you to be happy. So if, one day, you find that you are not, you will always be welcome back here, with us to take care of you.

I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and nodded. At that moment I was conscious of all the things Id missed. Maybe I should have done this years ago, had little chats in the kitchen with dear Uncle Richard, just for a few minutes before we went to bed. How comforting that would have been.

Too late now.

I got up before I burst into tears, smiled at him, and took myself off to bed.

The next morning, I met Russell at the bottom of the road.

'Ah, he said, 'Ive been warned off. Presumably, this is so she wont come at me like Norman Batess mother.

'Whos Norman Bates?

He sighed. 'Remind me to rent you the movie. He looked at me. 'Or not.

'Is he still there?

'Kevin? Yes. He was just stirring when I left. Mrs C is preparing his own body weight in bacon. Youre going to have to marry me soon or hes literally going to eat me out of house and home. He gave me a quick look 'Everything all right last night?

'Oh yes, although Uncle Richard thinks it might be best if you stay away for a while.

'Yes, hes not an idiot, is he? So, Kevin.

'Yes?

'Ive been thinking.

'Is he going to marry him, too?

'Im going to ask him to stay a while. As if hes doing me a favour. Im sure h.e.l.l say yes. He doesnt want to go back on the streets. Some do, they cant settle, but not this lad. He can help me around the place, doing odd jobs and such. I cant pay him yet but he can have board and lodging. Will you help fix up his room? Theres plenty of old furniture around the place. He can have a bed, table, an armchair, chest of drawers, you choose. I think I might even have an old TV around somewhere. What do you think? Its a face-saver for him and its a good deal for me.

'Yes, I said. 'I hope he stays.

'I think he will.

'And youll be able to pay him later, I mean.

He skidded off the road into a layby. Intentionally, I hoped.

'Yes. I want to talk to you about that. Ive been thinking about this money business. My solicitors will have some stuff for you to sign about the house which well send on to your uncle as a sign of good faith. Ill admit I was winding him up the other day, but I can see how this must look to him, so Ive had an idea. I know your uncle thinks I want the money for drink, gambling, dancing-girls, whatever ...

Or to support Francesca when you manage to lure her away from Daniel Palmer, I thought.

'... so I thought of a compromise to show my good faith and to keep you out of the line of fire. He continues your normal monthly allowance, or whatever you have and I pay for everything on my credit card and send him the bills to settle on our behalf. That way he can rea.s.sure himself that the bulk of the expenditure is on our house and supporting you and he can see Im not running up bills for anything else. When its all done and were still together and we will be then well sort out something more permanent. What do you think?

'Hmm, said Thomas, behind me.

'What?

' No, actually, now I come to think of it, its quite a good scheme. I cant see your uncle objecting at all. And presumably, all your moneys invested so h.e.l.l need to draw up lists of whats where for Russell and that will take time, so yes, in the short-term, this might work.

'So, I said to Russell, 'youll put this idea to my uncle?

'Good G.o.d, no, he said, starting the engine and roaring out of the layby. 'My solicitor will present the suggestion. I shall object most strongly.

He grinned at me like a naughty boy. 'Im not just a pretty face, you know.

Kevin was just finis.h.i.+ng breakfast when we arrived.

He got to his feet as I walked in, clumsily b.u.mping against his chair and nearly knocking over his mug of tea. His bruises had reached the yellow and green stage, except for the one across the bridge of his nose and under one eye which was still a vivid red and purple.

It seemed to me that just for once it was up to me to put someone else at their ease, so I said good morning and asked him if he had slept well.

He nodded and swallowed hard, his Adams apple moving up and down his throat. He said, nearly as jerkily as me, 'Im sorry about last night. Really sorry.

Russell said, 'Will you ever do it again?

'Oh, no, no. I didnt want to do it once. I sat for hours behind that wheelie bin, working up the nerve.

'And waiting for someone to walk past.

'Yeah, it wasnt a good spot. You were the only people to walk down that alley all night.

'Fancy that, I said to Thomas.

'Sorry, he said. 'Miles away. What?

While Kevin and Russell heaved the furniture up the stable stairs, Mrs Crisp and I made up the bed, hung some curtains, put down a few rugs, and found a lampshade and a few cus.h.i.+ons. Russell plugged in a s.p.a.ce heater, with dire warnings about going off and leaving it on. I remembered him asking Kevin if he smoked. He had a real fear of fire. 'Nothing goes up like stables, he said. 'And if you cant get the horses out its just ... So watch it, Kevin.

He nodded solemnly. 'I will. I promise.

In the end, it looked quite nice. He carefully placed his book in the exact centre of his bedside table and put his two freshly washed T-s.h.i.+rts in one drawer and his three socks in another. He hung his towels on the back of the door and laid his comb under the small mirror.

I noticed he had still been unable to throw away his flat cardboard box and had carefully stored it under the bed. I could have cried for him.

And then we all had some lunch.

'Eat up, said Russell, 'We have a busy afternoon ahead of us.

A busy afternoon which, for me, soon became just a formless blur of faces and places. The people in the Register Office were very kind, which was just as well, because after Id handed over my doc.u.ments and tried to look radiant, it all rapidly became too much. I kept telling myself to enjoy this once in a lifetime experience but this sudden escalation, from nothing to everything all at once, was difficult and left me longing for peace and quiet. To give him his due, Russell tried to do most of the talking for me. Some questions, however, I had to answer for myself and they were kindness itself while I struggled to get out the answers.

'Whats wrong? said Russell, as the superintendent registrar nipped out to take an urgent telephone call.

'Aunt Julia. Somehow. Will stop things. Might be her now.

'She wont. She cant. This will be fine. Just smile and say yes. In fact, Jenny, thats my recipe for a happily married lifetime together. Whatever I say, your job is to smile and say yes.

I tried to smile back, but it was a sad affair. I began to worry he would find me such high maintenance he would change his mind.

'He wont, said Thomas.

'Yes, I know, I said to him. 'Im his ticket to a better future.

' And he is yours. Dont let all this c.r.a.p from your aunt blind you to that. He said it himself. Youre going into this as equal partners. Just remember that.

The superintendent registrar came back into the room. And apparently the message was nothing to do with us because she carried on from where shed left off. I reached out and took hold of Russells jacket, very gently so he wouldnt notice. But he did and covered my cold hand with his warm one.

'This will take a bit of time, he said, cheerfully. 'Words dont always come easily.

'Not the slightest problem, she said, smiling at me. 'We have as long as you need, and I felt a little better.

He did all the talking at the jewellers. Thomas and I wandered off while they discreetly ascertained how much was going to be spent, only returning to look at the trays brought out for my inspection. I stared at them helplessly and then at the a.s.sistant, who presumably had panic-stricken females in his shop on a regular basis.

'Well, lets see, he said slowly, ignoring Russell who was moving restlessly. 'You have small hands, so nothing big or clunky. 'Do you like claw fittings?

I shook my head.

'How about this one then, or this one, or possibly this one? and he laid three sparkling rings on a cloth in front of me.

Three was a much easier number to deal with. I tried them all on and settled for the last one, a plain band with five diamonds inset.

'Understated, but quietly elegant, said Thomas. 'Just like you, and I leaned towards him in grat.i.tude.

But the next day was the dress-buying day to which I had once so looked forward, and now filled me with dread. Tanya met us in town, took one look at my face, punched Russell on the arm and said something short in German, which actually I understood very well.

'Ow, he said, rubbing his arm. 'Whatever was that for?

She ignored him. 'Jenny, we will go to a very good shop first, which is owned by my friend. I have told her of you and she has two or three garments for you to see. Russell, you will go away now. I will telephone you when you are to collect us. Goodbye.

Muttering, he took himself away without saying goodbye.

The shop was lovely and situated down one of the narrow side streets near the medieval bridge. It was quiet, carpeted, and smelled expensive. The actual sales area was small because of all the exciting things happening in the back.

There were four dresses awaiting our arrival and, just for once, I chose immediately.

'This one, I said, pointing.

'Excellent, said Tanya. 'That was my choice too. You will try it on at once.

And it wasnt a case of struggling in the communal changing room. There was a very kind lady to a.s.sist me out of my own clothes, as if I hadnt been doing that myself for years, and into this beautiful, beautiful creation.

It was a dress coat with a high fur collar, fur cuffs, a discreet fastening down the front, and a full skirt.

'No train, said Tanyas friend, 'so you dont have to worry about the wet. A good quality satin which will hang well and keep its shape. That creamy pink is perfect for your colouring. White is not anywhere near as forgiving as girls like to think.

'This is perfect, said Tanya. 'The traditional dress and veil is not for you, Jenny. You are different and you should dress to reflect that.

It was the first time I had ever thought being different could be a good thing.

'Can I see it in daylight? I asked, remembering Thomas, who would not come in.

I walked slowly out into the front of the shop where Thomas stood peering at a very adventurous hat on a stand.

He said nothing for a very long time. I began to worry. Should I have gone for something more traditional? Was he searching for tactful words?

'Jenny, you look like a winter angel. Dont let anyone ever tell you youre not beautiful.

I touched his nose gently, in grat.i.tude.

Tanya sorted out the few small alterations to be made, ordered a pair of plain cream shoes and a pair of gloves to wear with it, organised the delivery date and address, and we were done.

'Well, she said as we stood outside. 'You are a most efficient person, Jenny. I hope you will have a good effect on Russell. I have said nothing, but I know Andrew is very pleased you are to marry Russell. He considers you to be a beneficial influence.

'Imagine that.

'No, I dont think so, I said.

She looked straight at me. 'He is a little boy still crying for his mother. And you are stronger than you think. I will say no more. Now, we will have coffee.

So we went to The Copper Kettle, where waitresses fell from the trees in their eagerness to serve us. Sharon wasnt there.

We had coffee and cake and the rest of the day ahead of us. We went to Tanyas beauty salon another first for me and I had a manicure, a pedicure, my hair cut and coloured, and a facial. It was all very quiet and intimate. I took a chance. While we were alone and steaming gently, I asked her straight out.

'How did his mother die?

'If you believe Russells father, it was because of Russells wild ways. If you believe Russell, it was because his father was a cold-hearted b.a.s.t.a.r.d who drove her to it. If you believe the coroner, it was a road-traffic accident. Her car came off the road on the bend by the Whittington turn-off. She took it too fast. She was a reckless driver.

I pondered this for a while.

'Does he think his father actually killed her or just drove her to it?

'I do not know. I know only that each believed the other responsible for what was, in the end, simply an accident.

She said no more so neither did I.