The Nothing Girl Part 20

I wasnt going to answer that one. Even to myself I wasnt going to answer that one.

Eventually I heard footsteps and Russell appeared. He sat beside me and draped an old jacket over my shoulders. I hadnt realised how cold I was.

'I have good news and I have bad news.

I didnt care.

'The good news is that relations are completely severed. Apparently they will never darken any of our doors again and we certainly wont be darkening theirs.

I said nothing.

'The bad news is that Im worried my wife will never speak again. Can you say something, please, if only to put my mind at rest.

Painfully, I dragged the words out.

'I want a ... divorce.

'Those are not the words to put my mind at rest.

I hit him on the arm.

'Hat-trick, said Thomas.

'Ow! he said, rubbing his arm. 'What ?

'Enough. I want a divorce.

'Jenny ...

I tried to get up. He pulled me down. I hit him again.

'Well, thats you ahead of the others now, on points.

'Ow!

I tried again to get up and he pulled me down again. 'Stop. Stop. No, Jenny, just listen.

No. I wasnt going to listen any more. No more stuff about looking after me, about how I wouldnt regret it. I was done with all that. I know it was my own fault. Id made a big mistake but at least I could minimise the damage.

He was staring at me. 'Youre serious, arent you? You really want this?

'Exactly how ... much ... must I endure ... before you see this is not working?

He was silent a long time.

'I have an idea.

'... Better or worse than the last one?

'No, listen. Im sorry about back there. I behaved badly. Everyone did. Except you. Believe me, Francesca will never come here again. Or Julia. But you need to think this through. We both do. We rushed into this. Lets not rush out again. Youre cold. Come inside and have something to eat. Well talk then. Come on.

He pulled me up and we went inside. It was completely dark by now. Kevin had brought in Boxer and everything was locked up. I followed him into the house.

'Well eat in the kitchen, Russell told Mrs Crisp. She nodded and retired to her room.

Im obviously not heroine material and far from picking at my food in the approved manner, I ate everything put in front of me.

'Thats my girl, said Thomas.

Finally, he made coffee and pulled his chair closer.

'OK, this is what I think. Im not a monster and if you really want to go then of course you can. Im not happy about it, but I certainly wont get in your way. But, and its a big but, I dont think you should go immediately. Weve barely been married a fortnight. There would be huge gossip. Half of them would say there must be something really wrong with you and the other half would say I treated you so badly you couldnt even stick it out for the first month. We neither of us want that. Lets wait twelve months and then well get a quiet divorce. We wont tell anyone, well just do it. Im prepared to let your money go in return for your half of the house back, so we would both take away what we brought to the marriage. No more no less. During the twelve months Ill help you find somewhere to live. You can rely on me to do everything I can to keep you away from your aunt. And we can part friends. That would be important to me. What do you think?

Id sat in this very kitchen, on this very chair in fact, when hed proposed marriage, and now we were discussing divorce. How could everything go so wrong so quickly?

I nodded. It seemed a good plan. Better than his last one, anyway.

He plonked my coffee down in front of me.

'Right, thats settled then. Dont look so downcast, we can make this work. In the meantime, lets do something normal. He reached across and pulled out a large sheet of paper.

'I understand you wont want to go las.h.i.+ng large amounts of money on the house now, but if you want to tackle the garden, Id be very pleased. Its good for you and its good for Kevin. Good thinking there, by the way. I thought Id do a quick sketch of the garden as I remember it and draw you up a plan. Now, theres a terrace along the back of the house, with steps opposite the French windows. Two paths run diagonally from corner to corner. But and this is exciting theres a fountain in the middle. The basins about twelve feet across I think, with a statue of one of those hussies who cant keep her clothes on properly. Shes clutching her robe with one hand and pouring water from a jug with the other. Finest pair of t.i.ts Ive ever seen. In fact, until I was about fifteen, the only pair of t.i.ts Id ever seen.

I choked on my coffee.

'Thats better, he said approvingly. 'Its not so bad, Jenny. Youll see. Shall we go and watch some TV?

I nodded and got up. It had been a long day.

So was the next day. I could hardly remember the time when one day was exactly the same as the rest.

The first thing that happened was that Sharon turned up and shortly afterwards Kevin was apparently struck by paralysis. And yes, the two events were connected.

Russell and I stood in the yard watching Marilyn hobble around, sticking her little head into everything.

Mrs Crisp was hanging out the was.h.i.+ng and keeping a wary eye on the potentially tea-towel scoffing Marilyn.

Thomas was standing in the sun, resting a hip.

Kevin was wheeling the barrow across the yard, whistling.

So we were all there and we all saw.

Sharon opened the gate and slipped through, carefully fastening it behind her.

We all looked up. Marilyn skittered over to see if she was edible.

Sharon saw her aunt and smiled her blinding smile.

Kevin, not looking where he was going at all, pushed the barrow straight into the water trough.

Russell looked down at me, waggled his eyebrows and grinned. I grinned back. Life was a lot easier now we were getting a divorce. The pressure was off.

We both waited to see what would happen next. Mrs Crisp went forward to greet her. Sharon looked just as I remembered apart from the small, beguiling donkey sniffing at her skirt.

I suddenly remembered I hadnt mentioned this to him.

'Sorry, I forgot. Shes coming in for a couple of ... days a week to help Mrs Crisp.

He was more interested in Kevin. 'Do you think I should go and wake him up?

'No, leave him. If he lets go of the barrow h.e.l.l fall over.

'Mr and Mrs Checkland, you remember Sharon, my niece.

'Of course, said Russell. 'How are you?

'Very pleased to be here, sir.

'Just a few rules, he said. 'Please remember I am the master here. My rule is law. I expect my smallest wishes to be granted immediately and my bigger ones within ten minutes. I do not tolerate slacking off and any member of staff showing signs of happiness is subject to instant dismissal. Hours are long and full of toil. You may or may not get paid. Welcome.

She giggled.

He sighed. 'Why doesnt that ever work?

I said to her. 'Thank you for coming. We are very pleased to see you, and it came out surprisingly easily.

'Yet another undiscovered benefit of divorce, murmured Thomas, who seemed to be taking things remarkably well.

'A lot can happen in twelve months.

He got that right.

Russell raised his voice. 'Kevin, come and say h.e.l.lo.

His face was like a sunset.

She smiled, blushed, and looked at her feet. 'h.e.l.lo.

He mumbled something. It could have been h.e.l.lo.

Russell clapped him on the shoulder. 'Well let Mrs Crisp show you around inside and then Kevin here can show you around outside. All right, Kevin?

He mumbled something else.

'This is just cruel, said Thomas. 'Someone put him out of his misery.

A car hooted in the lane and Kevin went thankfully to open the gate. Russell frowned. 'A bit early for Andrew. I thought he was coming tomorrow. Why is he here so often?

Why was he cross with me?

'Oh, Jenny, said Thomas.

It was Uncle Richard.

'Oh, s.h.i.+t, said Russell. 'Were about to have our doors darkened. Oh no you dont. I was just quietly melting away to the garden. 'I need backup and youre it. Besides, if I cant produce you in at least reasonable condition theyll think Ive murdered you for your money and buried the body. A shame, because I would much rather have stood and watched our young loves blush at each other, but never let it be said a Checkland flinched in the face of danger. Come on, wife. You go first.

It was rea.s.suring to see that Uncle Richard looked at least as embarra.s.sed as I felt. He preceded us into the house and I tugged Russells sleeve. 'Did you call him?

'No, did you?

I shook my head.

'Well, lets go and find out what he wants.

Uncle Richard declined tea, coffee, something stronger, any form of refreshment at all.

He seemed so distressed that I was distressed for him.

'Uncle Richard?

He sighed. 'Ive come about yesterday. I gather from what my wife and daughter have told me that unfortunate remarks were made.

He got no further.

'A remark was made that was so unfortunate as to cause my wife to leave her own home in some distress. I wont deny that there were subsequent unfortunate remarks from both sides, but 'I understand, Russell, but please try and understand these remarks sprang from concern over your wifes well-being.

'If you can understand, sir, that these remarks were uncalled for and unjustified. That Jennys condition was not due in any way to the primitive conditions under which I apparently force her to live, but simply the result of extreme gardening. As anyone less p.r.o.ne to jump to the wrong conclusions would have seen immediately.

'Hes very good, isnt he?

'Im sure, said Uncle Richard, persevering, 'that a reasonable and timely explanation from you could easily have resolved any incorrect conclusions drawn.

'I am equally certain, sir, that that would have been the case had I been allowed to utter said reasonable and timely explanations. And, he continued, pressing home his advantage, 'I would be extremely grateful, sir, if you could advise your daughter that her uninvited visits here are neither appropriate nor welcome.

'Wow, said Thomas. 'Thats really telling him. And her. And you too, Jenny. Good for him.

Uncle Richard, far from taking offence, nodded silently. 'I wont deny, Russell, unpalatable though your words are, Im glad to hear them. Yes, I will pa.s.s the message on.

'Thank you, sir. I appreciate its not a pleasant task, but its better coming from you than me. And certainly better than coming from Daniel, whom Im reluctant to involve at all in this.

'I understand you, I think.

Silence fell.

'Well, said Thomas. ' Typical of him. Now he gets his act together. Just when it doesnt really matter any more. What is wrong with him?

I was baffled too. Why couldnt he have done that last week? Or last month? Why now? And did it make a difference?