The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 160

PATIENCE Then there's n.o.body. At least -- no, n.o.body. Not since I was a baby. But that doesn't count, I suppose.

ANGELA I don't know. Tell me about it.

No. 7. Long years ago, fourteen maybe (Duet) Patience and Angela

PATIENCE [R.] Long years ago -- fourteen, maybe, When but a tiny babe of four, Another baby played with me, My elder by a year or more;

A little child of beauty rare, With marv'lous eyes and wondrous hair, Who, in my child-eyes, seemed to me All that a little child should be!

[She goes to ANGELA, L.C.]

Ah, how we loved, that child and I!

How pure our baby joy!

How true our love -- and, by the bye, He was a little boy!

ANGELA Ah, old, old tale of Cupid's touch!

I thought as much -- I thought as much!

He was a little boy!

PATIENCE Pray don't misconstrue what I say-- Remember, pray -- remember, pray, He was a little boy!

ANGELA No doubt! Yet, spite of all your pains, The interesting fact remains - He was a little boy!

BOTH Ah, yes, in/No doubt, yet spite of all my/your pains, The interesting fact remains-- He was a little boy!

He was a little boy!

[Exit ANGELA, L.]

PATIENCE [R.C.] It's perfectly dreadful to think of the appalling state I must be in! I had no idea that love was a duty. No wonder they all look so unhappy! Upon my word, I hardly like to a.s.sociate with myself. I don't think I'm respectable. I'll go at once and fall in love with... [As she turns to go up R., GROSVENOR enters, R.U.E. She sees him and turns back.] a stranger!

No. 8. Prithee, pretty maiden (Duet) Patience and Grosvenor

GROSVENOR [up-stage, R. ] Prithee, pretty maiden -- prithee, tell me true, (Hey, but I'm doleful, willow willow waly!) Have you e'er a lover a-dangling after you?

Hey willow waly O!

[coming down-stage]

I would fain discover If you have a lover!

Hey willow waly O!

PATIENCE [L.] Gentle sir, my heart is frolicsome and free-- (Hey, but he's doleful, willow willow waly!) n.o.body I care for comes a-courting me-- Hey willow waly O!

n.o.body I care for Comes a-courting -- therefore, Hey willow waly O!

GROSVENOR [C.] Prithee, pretty maiden, will you marry me?

(Hey, but I'm hopeful, willow willow waly!) I may say, at once, I'm a man of propertee-- Hey willow waly O!

Money, I despise it; Many people prize it, Hey willow waly O!

PATIENCE Gentle Sir, although to marry I design-- (Hey, but he's hopeful, willow willow waly!) As yet I do not know you, and so I must decline.

Hey willow waly O!

To other maidens go you-- As yet I do not know you,

BOTH Hey willow waly O!

GROS. Patience! Can it be that you don't recognize me?

PATIENCE [down L.] Recognize you? No, indeed I don't!

GROS. Have fifteen years so greatly changed me?

PATIENCE [turning to him] Fifteen years? What do you mean?

GROS. Have you forgotten the friend of your youth, your Archibald? -- your little playfellow? Oh, Chronos, Chronos, this is too bad of you! [Comes down, C.]

PATIENCE Archibald! Is it possible? Why, let me look! It is!

It is! [takes his hands.] It must be! Oh, how happy I am! I thought we should never meet again! And how you've grown!

GROS. Yes, Patience, I am much taller and much stouter than I was.

PATIENCE And how you've improved!

GROS. [dropping her hands and turning] Yes, Patience, I am very beautiful! [Sighs.]

PATIENCE But surely that doesn't make you unhappy?

GROS. Yes, Patience. Gifted as I am with a beauty which probably has not its rival on earth, I am, nevertheless, utterly and completely miserable.

PATIENCE Oh -- but why?

GROS. My child-love for you has never faded. Conceive, then, the horror of my situation when I tell you that it is my hideous destiny to be madly loved at first sight by every woman I come across!

PATIENCE But why do you make yourself so picturesque? Why not disguise yourself, disfigure yourself, anything to escape this persecution?

GROS. No, Patience, that may not be. These gifts -- irksome as they are -- were given to me for the enjoyment and delectation of my fellow-creatures. I am a trustee for Beauty, and it is my duty to see that the conditions of my trust are faithfully discharged.

PATIENCE And you, too, are a Poet?

GROS. Yes, I am the Apostle of Simplicity. I am called "Archibald the All-Right" -- for I am infallible!

PATIENCE And is it possible that you condescend to love such a girl as I?

GROS. Yes, Patience, is it not strange? I have loved you with a Florentine fourteenth-century frenzy for full fifteen years!

PATIENCE Oh, marvelous! I have hitherto been deaf to the voice of love. I seem now to know what love is! It has been revealed to me -- it is Archibald Grosvenor!

GROS. Yes, Patience, it is! [She goes into his arms.]

PATIENCE [as in a trance] We will never, never part!