The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 170

BUN. With occasional intervals for rest and refreshment, as long as I do.

PATIENCE Oh, Reginald, I'm so happy! Oh, dear, dear Reginald, I cannot express the joy I feel at this change. It will no longer be a duty to love you, but a pleasure -- a rapture -- an ecstasy!

BUN. My darling! [embracing her]

PATIENCE But -- oh, horror! [recoiling from him]

BUN. What's the matter?

PATIENCE Is it quite certain that you have absolutely reformed - - that you are henceforth a perfect being -- utterly free from defect of any kind?

BUN. It is quite certain. I have sworn it.

PATIENCE Then I never can be yours! [crossing to R.C.]

BUN. Why not?

PATIENCE Love, to be pure, must be absolutely unselfish, and there can be nothing unselfish in loving so perfect a being as you have now become!

BUN. But, stop a bit. I don't want to change -- I'll relapse -- I'll be as I was -- interrupted!

[Enter GROSVENOR, L.U.E., followed by all the young LADIES, who are followed by Chorus of DRAGOONS. He has had his hair cut, and is dressed in an ordinary suit and a bowler hat.

They all dance cheerfully round the stage in marked contrast to their former languor.]

No. 19. I'm a Waterloo House young man (Solo and Chorus) Grosvenor and Maidens

GROSVENOR I'm a Waterloo House young man, A Sewell & Cross young man, A steady and stolidy, jolly Bank-holiday, Everyday young man.

MAIDENS We're Swears & Wells young girls, We're Madame Louise young girls, We're prettily pattering, cheerily chattering, Every-day young girls.

BUN. [C.] Angela -- Ella -- Saphir -- what -- what does this mean?

ANGELA [R.] It means that Archibald the All-Right cannot be all- wrong; and if the All-Right chooses to discard aestheticism, it proves that aestheticism ought to be discarded.

PATIENCE Oh, Archibald! Archibald! I'm shocked -- surprised -- horrified!

GROS. [L.C.] I can't help it. I'm not a free agent. I do it on compulsion.

PATIENCE This is terrible. Go! I shall never set eyes on you again. But -- oh, joy!

GROS.[L.C.] What is the matter?

PATIENCE [R.C.] Is it quite, quite certain that you will always be a commonplace young man?

GROS. Always -- I've sworn it.

PATIENCE Why, then, there's nothing to prevent my loving you with all the fervour at my command!

GROS. Why, that's true.

PATIENCE [crossing to him] My Archibald!

GROS. My Patience! [They embrace.]

BUN. Crushed again!

[Enter JANE, L.]

JANE [who is still aesthetic] Cheer up! I am still here. I have never left you, and I never will!

BUN. Thank you, Jane. After all, there is no denying it, you're a fine figure of a woman!

JANE My Reginald!

BUN. My Jane! [They embrace.]

Fanfare

[Enter, R., COLONEL, MAJOR, and DUKE. They are again in uniform.]

COLONEL Ladies, the Duke has at length determined to select a bride!

[General excitement]

DUKE [R.] I have a great gift to bestow. Approach, such of you as are truly lovely. [All the MAIDENS come forward, bashfully, except JANE and PATIENCE.] In personal appearance you have all that is necessary to make a woman happy. In common fairness, I think I ought to choose the only one among you who has the misfortune to be distinctly plain. [Girls retire disappointed.]

Jane!

JANE [leaving BUNTHORNE's arms] Duke! [JANE and DUKE embrace.

BUNTHORNE is utterly disgusted.]

BUN. Crushed again!

No. 20. After much debate internal (Finale of Act II) Ensemble

DUKE [R.C.] After much debate internal, I on Lady Jane decide, Saphir now may take the Col'nel, Angry be the Major's bride!

[SAPHIR pairs off with COLONEL, R., ANGELA with MAJOR, L.C., ELLA with SOLICITOR, L.]

BUNTHORNE [C.] In that case unprecedented, Single I must live and die-- I shall have to be contented With a tulip or li-ly!

[BUNTHORNE, C., takes a lily from b.u.t.tonhole and gazes affectionately at it.]

SAPHIR, ELLA, ANGELA, DUKE, BUNTHORNE and COLONEL He will have to be contented With a tulip or li-ly!