The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 32

CAPT. True, for you are staunch to me. (Aside.) If ever I gave my heart again, methinks it would be to such a one as this! (Aloud.) I am touched to the heart by your innocent regard for me, and were we differently situated, I think I could have returned it. But as it is, I fear I can never be more to you than a friend.

BUT, I understand! You hold aloof from me because you are rich and lofty--and I poor and lowly. But take care! The poor b.u.mboat woman has gipsy blood in her veins, and she can read destinies.

CAPT. Destinies?

BUT. There is a change in store for you!

CAPT. A change?

BUT. Aye--be prepared!

DUET--LITTLE b.u.t.tERCUP and CAPTAIN

BUT, Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream; Highlows pa.s.s as patent leathers; Jackdaws strut in peac.o.c.k's feathers.

CAPT. (puzzled). Very true, So they do.

BUT. Black sheep dwell in every fold; All that glitters is not gold; Storks turn out to be but logs; Bulls are but inflated frogs.

CAPT. (puzzled). So they be, Frequentlee.

BUT. Drops the wind and stops the mill; Turbot is ambitious brill; Gild the farthing if you will, Yet it is a farthing still.

CAPT. (puzzled). Yes, I know.

That is so.

Though to catch your drift I'm striving, It is shady--it is shady; I don't see at what you're driving, Mystic lady--mystic lady.

(Aside.) Stern conviction's o'er me stealing, That the mystic lady's dealing In oracular revealing.

BUT. (aside).Stern conviction's o'er him stealing, That the mystic lady's dealing In oracular revealing.

Yes, I know-- That is so!

CAPT. Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that for ever: Once a cat was killed by care; Only brave deserve the fair.

Very true, So they do.

CAPT. Wink is often good as nod; Spoils the child who spares the rod; Thirsty lambs run foxy dangers; Dogs are found in many mangers.

BUT. Frequentlee, I agree.

Paw of cat the chestnut s.n.a.t.c.hes; Worn-out garments show new patches; Only count the chick that hatches; Men are grown-up catchy-catchies.

BUT. Yes, I know, That is so.

(Aside.) Though to catch my drift he's striving, I'll dissemble--I'll dissemble; When he sees at what I'm driving, Let him tremble--let him tremble!

ENSEMBLE

Though a mystic tone { I } borrow, you You will } learn the truth with sorrow, I shall Here to-day and gone to-morrow; Yes, I know-- That is so!

[At the end exit LITTLE b.u.t.tERCUP melodramatically.

CAPT. Incomprehensible as her utterances are, I nevertheless feel that they are dictated by a sincere regard for me. But to what new misery is she referring? Time alone can tell!

Enter SIR JOSEPH

SIR JOSEPH. Captain Corcoran, I am much disappointed with your daughter. In fact, I don't think she will do.

CAPT. She won't do, Sir Joseph!

SIR JOSEPH. I'm afraid not. The fact is, that although I have urged my suit with as much eloquence as is consistent with an official utterance, I have done so hitherto without success. How do you account for this?

CAPT. Really, Sir Joseph, I hardly know. Josephine is of course sensible of your condescension.

SIR JOSEPH. She naturally would be.

CAPT. But perhaps your exalted rank dazzles her.

SIR JOSEPH. You think it does?

CAPT. I can hardly say; but she is a modest girl, and her social position is far below your own. It may be that she feels she is not worthy of you.

SIR JOSEPH. That is really a very sensible suggestion, and displays more knowledge of human nature than I had given you credit for.

CAPT. See, she comes. If your lords.h.i.+p would kindly reason with her and a.s.sure her officially that it is a standing rule at the Admiralty that love levels all ranks, her respect for an official utterance might induce her to look upon your offer in its proper light.

SIR JOSEPH. It is not unlikely. I will adopt your suggestion.

But soft, she is here. Let us withdraw, and watch our opportunity.

Enter JOSEPHINE from cabin. FIRST LORD and CAPTAIN retire

SCENE--JOSEPHINE

The hours creep on apace, My guilty heart is quaking!

Oh, that I might retrace The step that I am taking!

Its folly it were easy to be showing, What I am giving up and whither going.

On the one hand, papa's luxurious home, Hung with ancestral armour and old bra.s.ses, Carved oak and tapestry from distant Rome, Rare "blue and white" Venetian finger-gla.s.ses, Rich oriental rugs, luxurious sofa pillows, And everything that isn't old, from Gillow's.

And on the other, a dark and dingy room, In some back street with stuffy children crying, Where organs yell, and clacking housewives fume, And clothes are hanging out all day a-drying.

With one cracked looking-gla.s.s to see your face in, And dinner served up in a pudding basin!

A simple sailor, lowly born, Unlettered and unknown, Who toils for bread from early mom Till half the night has flown!

No golden rank can he impart-- No wealth of house or land-- No fortune save his trusty heart And honest brown right hand!

And yet he is so wondrous fair That love for one so pa.s.sing rare, So peerless in his manly beauty, Were little else than solemn duty!

Oh, G.o.d of love, and G.o.d of reason, say, Which of you twain shall my poor heart obey!

SIR JOSEPH and CAPTAIN enter

SIR JOSEPH. Madam, it has been represented to me that you are appalled by my exalted rank. I desire to convey to you officially my a.s.surance, that if your hesitation is attributable to that circ.u.mstance, it is uncalled for.

JOS. Oh! then your lords.h.i.+p is of opinion that married happiness is not inconsistent with discrepancy in rank?

SIR JOSEPH. I am officially of that opinion.

JOS. That the high and the lowly may be truly happy together, provided that they truly love one another?

SIR JOSEPH. Madam, I desire to convey to you officially my opinion that love is a platform upon which all ranks meet.

JOS. I thank you, Sir Joseph. I did hesitate, but I will hesitate no longer. (Aside.) He little thinks how eloquently he has pleaded his rival's cause!

TRIO

FIRST LORD, CAPTAIN, and JOSEPHINE

CAPT. Never mind the why and wherefore, Love can level ranks, and therefore, Though his lords.h.i.+p's station's mighty, Though stupendous be his brain, Though your tastes are mean and flighty And your fortune poor and plain, CAPT. and Ring the merry bells on board-s.h.i.+p, SIR JOSEPH. Rend the air with warbling wild, For the union of { his } lords.h.i.+p my With a humble captain's child!

CAPT. For a humble captain's daughter-- JOS. For a gallant captain's daughter-- SIR JOSEPH. And a lord who rules the water-- JOS. (aside). And a tar who ploughs the water!

ALL. Let the air with joy be laden, Rend with songs the air above, For the union of a maiden With the man who owns her love!

SIR JOSEPH. Never mind the why and wherefore, Love can level ranks, and therefore, Though your nautical relation (alluding to CAPT.) In my set could scarcely pa.s.s-- Though you occupy a station In the lower middle cla.s.s-- CAPT. and Ring the merry bells on board-s.h.i.+p, SIR JOSEPH Rend the air with warbling wild, For the union of { my } lords.h.i.+p your With a humble captain's child!

CAPT. For a humble captain's daughter-- JOS. For a gallant captain's daughter-- SIR JOSEPH. And a lord who rules the water-- JOS. (aside). And a tar who ploughs the water!

ALL. Let the air with joy be laden, Rend with songs the air above, For the union of a maiden With the man who owns her love!

JOS. Never mind the why and wherefore, Love can level ranks, and therefore I admit the jurisdiction; Ably have you played your part; You have carried firm conviction To my hesitating heart.

CAPT. and Ring the merry bells on board-s.h.i.+p, SIR JOSEPH. Rend the air with warbling wild, For the union of { my } lords.h.i.+p his With a humble captain's child!

CAPT. For a humble captain's daughter-- JOS. For a gallant captain's daughter-- SIR JOSEPH. And a lord who rules the water-- JOS. (aside). And a tar who ploughs the water!

(Aloud.) Let the air with joy be laden.

CAPT. and SIR JOSEPH. Ring the merry bells on board-s.h.i.+p-- JOS. For the union of a maiden-- CAPT. and SIR JOSEPH. For her union with his lords.h.i.+p.

ALL. Rend with songs the air above For the man who owns her love!

[Exit JOS.

CAPT. Sir Joseph, I cannot express to you my delight at the happy result of your eloquence. Your argument was unanswerable.

SIR JOSEPH. Captain Corcoran, it is one of the happiest characteristics of this glorious country that official utterances are invariably regarded as unanswerable. [Exit SIR JOSEPH.

CAPT. At last my fond hopes are to be crowned. My only daughter is to be the bride of a Cabinet Minister. The prospect is Elysian.

(During this speech d.i.c.k DEADEYE has entered.) d.i.c.k. Captain.

CAPT. Deadeye! You here? Don't! (Recoiling from him.) d.i.c.k. Ah, don't shrink from me, Captain. I'm unpleasant to look at, and my name's agin me, but I ain't as bad as I seem.

CAPT. What would you with me?