The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 66

POLICE: To be done.

SERGEANT: Ah, take one consideration with another, POLICE: With another, SERGEANT: A policeman's lot is not a happy one.

ALL: Ah, when constabulary duty's to be done, to be done, A policeman's lot is not a happy one, happy one.

SERGEANT: When the enterprising burglar's not a-burgling POLICE: Not a-burgling SERGEANT: When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime, POLICE: 'Pied in crime, SERGEANT: He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling POLICE: Brook a-gurgling SERGEANT: And listen to the merry village chime.

POLICE: Village chime.

SERGEANT: When the coster's finished jumping on his mother, POLICE: On his mother, SERGEANT: He loves to lie a-basking in the sun.

POLICE: In the sun.

SERGEANT: Ah, take one consideration with another, POLICE: With another, SERGEANT: A policeman's lot is not a happy one.

ALL: Ah, when constabulary duty's to be done, to be done, A policeman's lot is not a happy one, happy one.

(Chorus of Pirates without, in the distance)

A rollicking band of pirates we, Who, tired of tossing on the sea, Are trying their hand at a burglaree, With weapons grim and gory.

SERGEANT: Hush, hus.h.!.+ I hear them on the manor poaching, With stealthy step the pirates are approaching.

(Chorus of Pirates, resumed nearer.)

We are not coming for plate or gold; A story General Stanley's told; We seek a penalty fifty-fold, For General Stanley's story.

POLICE: They seek a penalty PIRATES: Fifty-fold!

We seek a penalty POLICE: Fifty-fold!

ALL: They (We) seek a penalty fifty-fold, For General Stanley's story.

SERGEANT: They come in force, with stealthy stride, Our obvious course is now--to hide.

POLICE: Tarantara! Tarantara! etc.

(Police conceal themselves in aisle. As they do so, the Pirates, with RUTH and FREDERIC, are seen appearing at ruined window.

They enter cautiously, and come down stage on tiptoe.

SAMUEL is laden with burglarious tools and pistols, etc.)

CHORUS--PIRATES (very loud)

With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal; In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel.

No sound at all!

We never speak a word; A fly's foot-fall Would be distinctly heard-- POLICE: (softly) Tarantara, tarantara!

PIRATES: So stealthily the pirate creeps, While all the household soundly sleeps.

Come, friends, who plough the sea, Truce to navigation; Take another station; Let's vary piracee With a little burglaree!

POLICE: (softly) Tarantara, tarantara!

SAMUEL: (distributing implements to various members of the gang) Here's your crowbar and your centrebit, Your life-preserver--you may want to hit!

Your silent matches, your dark lantern seize, Take your file and your skeletonic keys.

POLICE: Tarantara!

PIRATES: With cat-like tread POLICE: Tarantara!

PIRATES: in silence dread,

(Enter KING, FREDERIC and RUTH)

ALL (fortissimo). With cat-like tread, etc.

RECIT

FREDERIC: Hush, hus.h.!.+ not a word; I see a light inside!

The Major-Gen'ral comes, so quickly hide!

PIRATES: Yes, yes, the Major-General comes!

(Exeunt KING, FREDERIC, SAMUEL, and RUTH)

POLICE: Yes, yes, the Major-General comes!

GENERAL: (entering in dressing-gown, carrying a light) Yes, yes, the Major-General comes!

SOLO--GENERAL

Tormented with the anguish dread Of falsehood unatoned, I lay upon my sleepless bed, And tossed and turned and groaned.

The man who finds his conscience ache No peace at all enjoys; And as I lay in bed awake, I thought I heard a noise.

MEN: He thought he heard a noise-- ha! ha!

GENERAL: No, all is still In dale, on hill; My mind is set at ease-- So still the scene, It must have been The sighing of the breeze.

BALLAD--GENERAL

Sighing softly to the river Comes the loving breeze, Setting nature all a-quiver, Rustling through the trees.

MEN: Through the trees.

GENERAL: And the brook, in rippling measure, Laughs for very love, While the poplars, in their pleasure, Wave their arms above.

MEN: Yes, the trees, for very love, Wave their leafy arms above.

ALL: River, river, little river, May thy loving prosper ever!

Heaven speed thee, poplar tree, May thy wooing happy be.

GENERAL: Yet, the breeze is but a rover, When he wings away, Brook and poplar mourn a lover Sighing,"Well-a-day!"

MEN: Well-a-day!

GENERAL: Ah! the doing and undoing, That the rogue could tell!

When the breeze is out a-wooing, Who can woo so well?

MEN: Shocking tales the rogue could tell, n.o.body can woo so well.

ALL: Pretty brook, thy dream is over, For thy love is but a rover; Sad the lot of poplar trees, Courted by a fickle breeze!

(Enter the MAJOR-GENERAL's daughters, led by MABEL, all in white peignoirs and night-caps, and carrying lighted candles.)

GIRLS: Now what is this, and what is that, and why does father leave his rest At such a time of night as this, so very incompletely dressed?

Dear father is, and always was, the most methodical of men!

It's his invariable rule to go to bed at half-past ten.

What strange occurrence can it be that calls dear father from his rest At such a time of night as this, so very incompletely dressed?

(Enter KING, SAMUEL, and FREDERIC)

KING: Forward, my men, and seize that General there! His life is over. (They seize the GENERAL) GIRLS: The pirates! the pirates! Oh, despair!

PIRATES: (springing up) Yes, we're the pirates, so despair!

GENERAL: Frederic here! Oh, joy! Oh. rapture!

Summon your men and effect their capture!

MABEL: Frederic, save us!

FREDERIC: Beautiful Mabel, I would if I could, but I am not able.

PIRATES: He's telling the truth, he is not able.

KING: With base deceit You worked upon our feelings!

Revenge is sweet, And flavours all our dealings!