The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 69

RECITATIVE AND SONG (Hilarion) "Today we meet"

RECITATIVE - Hilarion

To-day we meet, my baby bride and I-- But ah, my hopes are balanc'd by my fears!

What trans.m.u.tations have been conjur'd by The silent alchemy of twenty years!

BALLAD - Hilarion

Ida was a twelve-month old, Twenty years ago!

I was twice her age, I'm told, Twenty years ago!

Husband twice as old as wife Argues ill for married life Baleful prophecies were rife, Twenty years ago, Twenty years ago!

Still, I was a tiny prince Twenty years ago.

She has gained upon me, since Twenty years ago.

Though she's twenty-one, it's true, I am barely twenty-two-- False and foolish prophets you Twenty years ago, Twenty years ago!

(Enter Hildebrand)

Hilarion: Well, father, is there news for me at last?

Hildebd: King Gama is in sight, but much I fear With no Princess!

Hilarion: Alas, my liege, I've heard, That Princess Ida has forsworn the world, And, with a band of women, shut herself Within a lonely country house, and there Devotes herself to stern philosophies!

Hildebd: Then I should say the loss of such a wife Is one to which a reasonable man Would easily be reconciled.

Hilarion: Oh, no!

Or I am not a reasonable man.

She is my wife -- has been for twenty years!

(Holding gla.s.s) I think I see her now.

Hildebd: Ha! Let me look!

Hilarion: In my mind's eye, I mean -- a blus.h.i.+ng bride All bib and tucker, frill and furbelow!

How exquisite she looked as she was borne, Rec.u.mbent, in her foster-mother's arms!

How the bride wept -- nor would be comforted Until the hireling mother-for-the-nonce Administered refreshment in the vestry.

And I remember feeling much annoyed That she should weep at marrying with me.

But then I thought, "These brides are all alike.

You cry at marrying me? How much more cause You'd have to cry if it were broken off!"

These were my thoughts; I kept them to myself, For at that age I had not learnt to speak.

(Exeunt Hildebrand and Hilarion)

(Enter Courtiers)

CHORUS "From the distant panorama"

Chorus: From the distant panorama Come the sons of royal Gama.

They are heralds evidently, And are sacred consequently, Sons of Gama, hail! oh, hail!

(Enter Arac, Guron, and Scynthius)

TRIO (Arac, Guron, Scynthius and Chorus) "We are Warriors Three"

SONG - Arac

Arac: We are warriors three, Sons of Gama, Rex, Like most sons are we, Masculine in s.e.x.

All Three: Yes, yes, yes, Masculine in s.e.x.

Arac: Politics we bar, They are not our bent; On the whole we are Not intelligent.

All Three: No, no, no, Not intelligent.

Arac: But with doughty heart, And with trusty blade We can play our part-- Fighting is our trade.

All Three: Yes, yes, yes, Fighting is our trade.

Bold and fierce, and strong, ha! ha!

For a war we burn, With its right or wrong, ha! ha!

We have no concern.

Order comes to fight, ha! ha!

Order is obey'd, We are men of might, ha! ha!

Fighting is our trade.

Yes -- yes, yes, Fighting is our trade, ha! ha!

THE THREE PRINc.i.p.aLS CHORUS Fighting is our trade, ha ha! They are men of might, ha! ha!

Fighting is their trade.

Order comes to fight, ha! ha!

Order is obey'd!

Order comes to fight!

Ha, Ha!

Order is obey'd!

Fighting Fighting is. Yes, yes, yes, is Fighting is our trade, ha their Ha! trade!

(Enter King Gama)

SONG (Gama) "If you give me your Attention"

Gama: If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist -- all other kinds are sham.

Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow-creatures, I endeavour to correct.

To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes; And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise; I love my fellow creatures -- I do all the good I can-- Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!

And I can't think why!

To compliments inflated I've a withering reply; And vanity I always do my best to mortify; A charitable action I can skillfully dissect; And interested motives I'm delighted to detect; I know ev'rybody's income and what ev'rybody earns; And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns; But to benefit humanity however much I plan, Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!

And I can't think why!

I'm sure I'm no ascetic; I'm as pleasant as can be; You'll always find me ready with a crus.h.i.+ng repartee, I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer, I've an entertaining sn.i.g.g.e.r, I've a fascinating leer.

To ev'rybody's prejudice I know a thing or two; I can tell a woman's age in half a minute -- and I do.