The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 74

Cyril: Each newly joined aspirant To the clan

Hilarion & Florian: To the clan

Cyril: Must repudiate the tyrant Known as Man

Hilarion & Florian: Known as Man.

Cyril: They'll mock at him and flout him, For they do not care about him And they're "going to do without him"

If they can

All: If they can!

These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see.

These are the phenomena That ev'ry pretty domina Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see!

Hilarion: So that's the Princess Ida's castle! Well, They must be lovely girls, indeed, if it requires Such walls as those to keep intruders off!

Cyril: To keep men off is only half their charge, And that the easier half. I much suspect The object of these walls is not so much To keep men off as keep the maidens in!

Florian: But what are these? (Examining some Collegiate robes)

Hilarion: (looking at them) Why, Academic robes, Worn by the lady undergraduates When they matriculate. Let's try them on. (They do so.) Why, see -- we're covered to the very toes.

Three lovely lady undergraduates Who, weary of the world and all its wooing -- (pose)

Florian: And penitent for deeds there's no undoing -- (pose)

Cyril: Looked at askance by well-conducted maids -- (pose)

All: Seek sanctuary in these cla.s.sic shades!

TRIO (Cyril, Hilarion and Florian) "I am a maiden"

Hilarion: I am a maiden, cold and stately, Heartless I, with face divine.

What do I want with a heart, innately?

Every heart I meet is mine!

Every heart I meet is mine, is mine!

All: Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.

So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!

(Dance)

Cyril: I am a maiden, frank and simple, Br.i.m.m.i.n.g with joyous roguery; Merriment lurks in ev'ry dimple n.o.body breaks more hearts than I!

n.o.body breaks more hearts, more hearts than I

All: Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.

So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!

(Dance)

Florian: I am a maiden coyly blus.h.i.+ng, Timid am I as a startled hind; Every suitor sets me flus.h.i.+ng, Every suitor sets me flus.h.i.+ng: I am the maid that wins mankind!

All: Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.

So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!

Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.

So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!

[Enter the Princess, reading. She does not see them.)

Florian: But who comes here? The Princess, as I live!

What shall we do?

Hilarion: (Aside) Why, we must brave it out!

(Aloud) Madam, accept our humblest reverence.

(They bow, then suddenly recollecting themselves, curtsey.)

Princess: (Surprised) We greet you, ladies. What would you with us?

Hilarion: (Aside to Cyril) What shall I say? (Aloud) We are three students, ma'am, Three well-born maids of liberal estate, Who wish to join this University.

(Hilarion and Florian curtsey again. Cyril bows extravagantly, then, being recalled to himself by Florian, curtseys.)

Princess: If, as you say, you wish to join our ranks, And will subscribe to all our rules, 'tis well.

Florian: To all your rules we cheerfully subscribe.

Princess: You say you're n.o.blewomen. Well, you'll find No sham degrees for n.o.blewomen here.

You'll find no sizars here, or servitors, Or other cruel distinctions, meant to draw A line 'twixt rich and poor; you'll find no tufts To mark n.o.bility, except such tufts As indicate n.o.bility of brain.

As for your fellow-students, mark me well: There are a hundred maids within these walls, All good, all learned, and all beautiful: They are prepared to love you: will you swear To give the fullness of your love to them?

Hilarion: Upon our words and honours, Ma'am, we will!

Princess: But we go further: Will you undertake That you will never marry any man?

Florian: Indeed we never will!

Princess: Consider well, You must prefer our maids to all mankind!

Hilarion: To all mankind we much prefer your maids!

Cyril: We should be dolts indeed, if we did not, seeing how fair --

Hilarion: (Aside to Cyril) Take care -- that's rather strong!

Princess: But have you left no lovers at your home Who may pursue you here?

Hilarion: No, madam, none.