Passage. Part 49

She called Kit to ask her what the call letters of the t.i.tanic had been and what deck the gymnasium had been on. And whether it had a mechanical camel. I surely wouldn't have confabulated a detail that specific, she thought, punching in Kit's number, and then remembered Mr. Wojakowski and "The Katzenjammer Kids."

Kit's line was busy. Joanna looked at her watch. It was eleven-thirty. She decided to take a chance on Mr. Ortiz's having come out of the anesthetic early, and went down to the surgical ward.

He was awake, but the surgeon was in with him. "And then we've got to do his post-op check," the nurse subbing for Patricia said. "It'll be about twenty minutes."Twenty minutes. Not long enough to go back up to her office and get anything useful done. She could go see Maisie-Peds was just two floors up and actually in the same wing-but the likelihood of getting away from Maisie in under an hour was nonexistent. I'll go see Guadalupe instead, Joanna thought, and headed for the elevator.

A pair of nurses Joanna didn't know were waiting for it, their heads together, talking. "...and she said, that's it, I'm not coming to work in that ER one more day," one of the nurses said, and the other said, "I don't blame her." Vielle should be listening to this, Joanna thought, and the elevator door opened.

Mr. Mandrake was inside. "...evidence which will prove to the skeptic that the near-death experience is real," he was saying to a man with a copy of The Light at the End of the Tunnel. "No so-called 'rational' explanation is possible."

All his attention was on the man, and the two nurses, still gossiping, s.h.i.+elded her for the moment.

"...just a flesh wound, thank G.o.d," one of them said, "but still."

Mr. Mandrake hadn't seen her yet. Joanna turned and walked rapidly away, her head averted.

I'll go see Guadalupe later, she thought. I'll go down and pick up the release forms instead.

"Joanna Lander," Mr. Mandrake said.

Oh, no, he'd seen her. She kept walking, resisting the impulse to look back and see if he was following her.

"...a colleague of mine," he said.

He hadn't seen her. He was just talking about her. "She's working on a project that will confirm my findings."

A colleague of mine, Joanna fumed, walking faster. It would almost be worth it to turn around and go tell the man she was not Mr. Mandrake's colleague and their project proved no such thing.

Almost, she thought and ducked into a stairway. It only went down one flight, but at least she had gotten away from Mr. Mandrake. She could take the service elevator up to the fifth-floor walkway. No, she'd have to go through Medicine. She didn't want to take the risk of running into Mrs. Davenport. Talk about out of the frying pan into the fire. She'd better take the walkway on second.

She went down the stairs and along a corridor full of offices. It was usually deserted, but not today. A group of elderly people were sitting in the hall on plastic chairs, playing cards. One of them stood up as soon as he saw Joanna and waved his cards at her. "Hiya, Doc," he said.

30.

"Come as quickly as possible, old man. Engine room filled up to the boilers."-Wireless message from the t.i.tanic to the Carpathia.

This is not my day, Joanna thought. "Mr. Wojakowski," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"Ed," he corrected. He c.o.c.ked his thumb at the door behind him. "This is that hearing project I told you about." He leaned toward her confidentially. "I gotta say, Doc, your project was a h.e.l.l of a lot more interesting than this thing. All we do is sit around with headphones on and raise our hands if we hear a beep."

Joanna looked at the cardplayers. "And play acey-deucey?"

"Naw, none of them were ever in the navy. All they know how to play is hearts. I been trying to talk 'em into poker, but they're all too cheap. Say, I heard one of the docs down in the ER got shot.

You know anything about that?"

That must be what the two nurses by the elevator had been gossiping about. "No."

"I hope it's nothing serious. Did I ever tell you about the time on the Yorktown. when I got shot right in the-well, it ain't polite to say where-and I start yelping and Big Bunion Pakigian says-"

"Mr. Wojakowski?" a lab-coated technician with a clipboard said from the door.

"Be right there," Mr. Wojakowski said. "Well, anyway, Doc, you see you don't go getting shot.

And if you need me on your project, you just go ahead and schedule me. Like I say, all we do's sit around. I got plenty of time to do your project and this one both."

"Mr. Wojakowski," the technician said disapprovingly.

Mr. Wojakowski leaned close to Joanna and whispered, "4-F." Joanna had to laugh. The technician looked even crabbier. "See ya, Doc," Mr. Wojakowski said jauntily, handed his cards to one of the volunteers, and disappeared through the door.

She looked at her watch and went back up to the surgical ward. Mr. Ortiz's door was shut.

"One of his drains came out," the sub nurse told her. "It'll be another twenty minutes at least."

Joanna thanked her and went up to see Maisie. Mrs. Nellis was just coming out of the room, smiling brightly. "Maisie's on a new drug and it's working wonders. She's stabilized, and it's completely eliminated the fluid-retention problem. If this keeps up, I'll be able to take her home before you know it."

She was right. Maisie's arms and legs weren't as puffy, but, because the swelling had gone down, you could see how pitifully thin she'd gotten. Her hospital ID bracelet dangled loosely from her birdlike wrist. At least she can stop worrying about them having to cut it off, Joanna thought.

"I've been reading about the t.i.tanic so I'd be ready to help you with your research," Maisie said eagerly, reaching immediately in the bedside drawer for her tablet and pencil. "So, what do you want me to look up?""Are you sure you shouldn't be resting?" Joanna asked. "I just saw your mom, and she said you'd just started on a new drug."

"It's not new," Maisie said. "It's nadolal, the same one I was on before I was on the amiodipril."

The one that couldn't keep her stabilized, Joanna thought. The one she was on when she coded.

"And all I do is rest. Looking up stuff doesn't make me tired. It's a lot more fun than watching stupid videos." She waved her hand at the TV, where Winnie the Pooh was playing soundlessly.

"All right. I need to know the names of all the s.h.i.+ps the t.i.tanic sent SOSs to," Joanna said. That should be safe, and, according to Kit, time-consuming.

Maisie frowned at her. "You don't send SOSs to anybody. You just send them out and hope somebody hears you."

"That's what I meant," Joanna said, "the names of the s.h.i.+ps the t.i.tanic's wireless contacted."

Maisie wrote "s.h.i.+ps" in her childish round hand. "I bet there's a lot of them 'cause the wireless operator kept sending right up till it sank."

"Maisie-"

"His name was Jack Phillips, and the captain told him he could stop. 'At a time like this, it's every man for himself,' he said, but he just kept on sending."

"Maisie," Joanna said seriously, "if you're going to help me, you can't tell me things about the t.i.tanic, just the answers to my questions. Not anything else. It's important. Do you understand?"

"Uh-huh," Maisie said. "Because of confabulation, right?"

She is entirely too smart, Joanna thought. "Yes. Telling me things could contaminate the project.

Do you think you can do that? Just tell me the answers and nothing else?"

"Uh-huh. Can I tell you stuff not about the t.i.tanic?"

"Of course," Joanna said. "Is that why you called me, because you had something to tell me?"

"Well, ask you, really," Maisie said, and Joanna braced herself. "What if Mercy General burned down?"

And where did this come from? Joanna wondered. "The alarms would go off, and we'd get all the patients outside," Joanna said. "And there's a sprinkler system that comes on automatically."

"No, I know that," Maisie said. "I mean, what about their ID bracelets? They're plastic. If the hospital burned up, they'd melt and n.o.body would know who they are."

The hospital bracelet again. This has to do with Little Miss 1565, Joanna thought. Maisie's afraid she'll die and no one will identify her. But everyone in the hospital knew her, she was surrounded byfamily and friends. Why was she worried about that? Was she taking a small and manageable worry and making it stand for the things that were really worrying her, a metaphor for fears she was too frightened to face? Like loss of ident.i.ty?

Which is the thing everyone's afraid of when it comes to death, Joanna thought. Not judgment or separation or the fires of h.e.l.l, but the idea of not existing. That's why everyone likes Mr. Mandrake's Other Side, Joanna thought. It isn't because it promises light and warm, fuzzy feelings. It's because it promises that, even though the heart has stopped and the body shut down, you won't suffer the fate of Little Miss 1565. That the people gathered at the gate will know who you are, and so will you.

"Your doctor ID would burn right up, too," Maisie was saying. She pointed at Joanna's hospital ID hanging from its woven lanyard. "They should be metal."

Like dog tags, Joanna thought.

"So, what else do you want me to find out?" Maisie said, as if the matter had been settled. "Do you want me to write down the wireless messages he sent to the different s.h.i.+ps?"

"No, just the name of the s.h.i.+ps," Joanna said and then thought of something. "And the call letters of the t.i.tanic."

"I don't have to look that up. I already know. It's MGY, because-" she said, and then stopped.

"Because why?" Joanna asked, but Maisie didn't answer. She folded her arms and stared belligerently at Joanna.

"Maisie?" she asked. "What's the matter?"

"You told me I was supposed to tell you the answer and not anything else."

"You're right, I did. That's just what I wanted." Only what I really wanted was the call letters to be CQD, not MGY.

"Okay, what else?" Maisie said.

"That's all, just the call letters and the names of the s.h.i.+ps," Joanna said.

"That's hardly anything," Maisie protested. "It'll take me about five minutes. Don't you have anything else you want me to find out?"

It was tempting to ask her about the Morse lamp. She'd have the answer more promptly even than Kit, and Joanna knew Maisie could keep a secret. She was a master at it. But she also wouldn't be able to resist saying, "Did you know...?" "I need to know about the Carpathia," Joanna said, deciding. The Carpathia hadn't shown up on the scene until well after the t.i.tanic had gone down, so information about it couldn't contaminate her NDEs, and there was a ton of information on the Carpathia. It should keep Maisie occupied for days.

"Car-pa-thia," Maisie said, writing it down. "What do you need to know?""Everything," Joanna told her. "Where it was, when it found out the t.i.tanic was in trouble and what it did, and how it picked up the survivors."

"And who they were," Maisie said, writing busily. "I know who one of them was. Mr. Ismay."

Her tone conveyed contempt. "He was the owner guy, but he didn't even try to save people, he just climbed in one of the lifeboats even though the men weren't supposed to, it was supposed to be women and children first, and saved himself, the big coward. Everybody else was really brave, though, like-"

"Maisie," Joanna warned. "Only the answers I asked for."

"Okay," Maisie said. "Can I tell you what Molly Brown said to Mr. Ismay? She was on the Carpathia when she said it."

"All right," Joanna said, thinking, Maybe I should have picked the Californian. It didn't have any contact with the t.i.tanic at all. "What did Molly Brown say?"

"She went up to Mr. Ismay," Maisie said, putting her hands on her hips, "and said, 'Where I come from, we'd string you up on the nearest pine tree.' And I think they should've. The big coward."

"Maybe he was afraid," Joanna said, thinking of her own panicked flight down the slanting stairs and into the pa.s.sage.

"Well, of course he was afraid," Maisie said. "He still should have tried to save Lorrai-" She bit off the word. "I was going to say somebody's name," she said virtuously, "but you said just the answer, so I didn't."

"Good girl," Joanna said, looking at her watch. It was nearly two. "I have to go." She stood up.

"I'll page you when I find out stuff," Maisie said, pulling The Child's t.i.tanic out from under the covers.

"No," Joanna said, envisioning Maisie paging her every fifteen minutes. "Don't page me till you know all the s.h.i.+ps."

"Okay," Maisie said, opening her book, and, amazingly, didn't try to stop Joanna from leaving.

I need to get down to see Mr. Ortiz, she thought, going through Peds, but instead she went back down to the hearing center. The group of volunteers had dwindled to four, but Mr. Wojakowski was still there. Joanna had the feeling he stayed for the company even when he was no longer needed.

"Well, hiya, Doc," he said when he saw her, sounding genuinely surprised and pleased, and she wondered, ashamed, if he realized how she tried to avoid him.

I have no business asking him a favor, she thought, but this was for Maisie, and if he didn't know, he could just say so. And how can he know? she thought. He probably wasn't even in the navy. He made all this up, remember?

"Ed, you were in the navy. Do you know where I could get a set of dog tags made? It's for afriend of mine."

"Well, now, that's a tough one," he said, taking off his baseball cap and scratching his head.

"During the war you got 'em when you signed up. They stamped 'em out with a hand press, looked like a cross between a typewriter and a credit card machine, and hung 'em around your neck straight out of the showers, before they even issued you your uniform. I says to the CO, 'Don't we need pants more'n dog tags?' and he says, 'You might get killed before you get your pants on and we'd need to know who you are,' and Fritz Krauthammer says, 'h.e.l.l, if I'm killed without pants on, I don't want anybody to know who I am!' Fritz was a card. One time-"

"Do you know where I could get dog tags nowadays? They wouldn't have to be real ones."

"You used to be able to get 'em made at the dime store or the train station." He scratched his head again. "I'll have to give it some thought. What would you want on 'em?"

"Just a name," she said, taking her notebook out of her cardigan pocket. "And it wouldn't have to look like dog tags. Just a name tag on a chain that goes around the neck. Metal," she added. She printed Maisie's name, tore the sheet out of the notebook, and handed it to Mr. Wojakowski.

"I'll ask around," he said doubtfully. "You sometimes can find stuff you never thought you could.

Did I ever tell you about the time I had to ditch my Wildcat and ended up on Malakula?"

Yes, Joanna thought, but she had just asked him a favor. She owed him one, and she knew what it was like when no one would listen to your stories, or believe you. So she sat down on one of the plastic chairs and listened to the whole thing: the escape in a dugout canoe, the drifting at sea for days, the Yorktown steaming up, flags flying, sailors hallooing, to save him, "just like Jesus Christ Himself, raised from the dead," and she had to admit that, true or not, it was a great story.

Mr. Wojakowski walked Joanna to the elevator. "I'll see what I can do about these dog tags.

How soon do you need 'em?"

"Soon," Joanna said, thinking of Maisie's thin wrist, her blue lips.