Mistress Nell Part 19

"And why?" asked the d.u.c.h.ess, ironically.

"I would emulate your warmth and amiability," tenderly responded Nell.

"Yes?" said Portsmouth; but how much again there was in her little "yes," accented as it was with a French shrug.

"I adore a beautiful woman," continued Nell, "especially when I know her to be--"

"A successful rival?" triumphantly asked the d.u.c.h.ess.

"A rival!" exclaimed Nell, in well-feigned astonishment, still toying with the d.u.c.h.ess's temper. "Is the poor actress so honoured in a d.u.c.h.ess's thought? Your grace is generous."

If all the angels had united, they could not have made her speech more sweet or her manner more enticing.

"I presumed you might conceive it so," replied Portsmouth, with mocking, condescending mien.

Nell approached her timidly and spoke softly, lovingly, subserviently.

"A rival to the great d.u.c.h.ess of Portsmouth!" she said. "Perish the thought! It is with trepidation I look upon your glorious face, madame; a figure that would tempt St. Anthony; a foot so small it makes us swear the G.o.ds have lent invisible wings to waft you to your conquest. Nay, do not turn your rosy lip in scorn; I am in earnest, so in earnest, that, were I but a man, I would bow me down your constant slave--unless perchance you should grow fat."

The turn was delicious: Nell's face was a study; and so was Portsmouth's.

The d.u.c.h.ess sprang to her feet, realizing fully for the first time that she had been trapped and trifled with. "Hussy! Beware your own lacings,"

she angrily exclaimed, turning now full face upon her adversary.

Nell was leaning against the table across the room, quietly observing Portsmouth upon the word-wrack. Her whole manner had changed. She watched with evident delight the play of discomfiture, mingled with contempt, upon the beautiful d.u.c.h.ess's face.

"_Me_ fat!" she derisively laughed. "Be sure I shall never grow too much so. And have not the stars said I shall ne'er grow old?"

"Your stars are falser than yourself," tartly snapped the d.u.c.h.ess.

"Mayhap," said Nell, still gleeful; "but mark you this truth: I shall reign queen of Love and Laughter while I live, and die with the first wrinkle."

She was interrupted by his Majesty, who, unsuspecting, swaggered into the room in buoyant spirits.

"The King!" exclaimed Nell, as she slyly glanced over her shoulder.

The King looked at one woman and then at the other in dismay and horror.

"Scylla and Charybdis!" he muttered, nervously, glancing about for means of escape. "All my patron-saints protect me!"

Nell was by his side in an instant.

"Good even' to your Majesty," she roguishly exclaimed. "How can I ever thank you, Sire, for inviting the d.u.c.h.ess to sup with me! I have been eager to meet her ladys.h.i.+p."

"Ods-pitikins," he thought, "a loophole for me."

"Well,--you see--" he said, "a little surprise, Nelly,--a little surprise--for me." The last two words were not audible to his hearers.

He looked at the beautiful rivals an instant, then ventured, "I hoped to be in time to introduce you, ladies."

"Oh, your Majesty," a.s.serted Nell, consolingly, "we are already quite well acquainted. I knew her grace through her veil."

"No doubt on't," observed the King, knowingly.

"Yes, Sire," said the d.u.c.h.ess, haughtily, casting a frigid glance at Nell, "I warrant we understand each other perfectly."

"Better and better," said Charles, with a sickly laugh.

His Majesty saw rocks and shoals ahead, and his wits could find no channel of escape. He turned in dire distress upon Nell, who stood aloof. She looked up into his face with the innocence of a babe in every feature.

"Minx, this is your work!" he whispered.

"Yes, Sire!" she answered, mock-reprovingly, bending quite to the floor as she courtesied low.

"'Yes, Sire.' Baggage!" he exclaimed good-naturedly despite himself.

As he turned away, praying Heaven to see him out of the difficulty, he observed the landlord, who had just entered with bread and cups, muttering some dubious invocations to himself. He clutched at this piece of human stupidity--like a drowning man clutching at a straw: "Ah, landlord, bring in what we live for; and haste ye, sirrah. The wine! The wine!"

"It is ready, sir," obsequiously replied the landlord, who had just sense enough in his dull cranium to reflect also, by way of complement, "So is Constable Swallow."

"Good news, good news!" cried Charles; and he tossed his plumed hat upon the sideboard, preparatory to the feast. "D'ye hear, my fair and loving friends? Come, it is impolite to keep the capons waiting. My arms; my arms!"

The King stepped gallantly between the ladies, making a bold play for peace. The d.u.c.h.ess took one arm formally. Nell seized the remaining arm and almost hugged his Majesty, nestling her head affectionately against his shoulder. Charles observed the decorum of due dignity. He was impartial to a fault; for he realized that there only lay his salvation.

The phalanx approached the feast in solemn march. The King tossed his head proudly and observed: "Who would not play the thorn with two such buds to blush on either side?"

There was a halt. The d.u.c.h.ess looked coldly at the table, then coldly at the King, then more coldly at Nell. The King looked at each inquiringly.

"I thought your Majesty ordered supper for three," she said. "It is set for two."

"Odsfish, for two!" cried Charles, glancing, anxiously, for the first time at the collation.

Nell had taken her place at the feast, regardless of formality. She was looking out for herself, irrespective of King or d.u.c.h.ess. She believed that a dinner, like the grave, renders all equal.

"Egad!" she exclaimed, as she dwelt upon the force of the d.u.c.h.ess's observation. "Our host is teaching us the virtues of economy."

The unsuspecting landlord re-entered at this moment, wine in hand, which he proceeded to place upon the table.

"What do you mean, knave, by this treachery!" almost shrieked the King at sight of him. "Another plate, dost hear; another plate, dog!"

"Bless me," explained the landlord, in confusion, "you said supper for two, sir; that a man was a fool who dined more; that the third was expensive and in the way."

"Villain!" cried Charles, in a hopeless effort to suppress the fellow, "I said two-two--beside myself. I never count myself in the presence of these ladies."

The landlord beat a hasty retreat.

The d.u.c.h.ess smiled a chilling smile, and asked complacently:

"Which one of us did you expect, Sire?"