Mistress Nell Part 3

"Pay for them, in sooth," promptly replied the vixen. "I never give a lord credit."

The player-folk gathered closer to watch the scene; for there was evidently more fun brewing, and that too at the expense of a very royal gentleman.

"A player talk of credit!" replied his lords.h.i.+p, quite ironically, as he straightened up proudly for a wit-encounter. "What would become of the mummers, if the lords did not fill their empty pockets?" he said, crus.h.i.+ngly.

"What would become of the lords, if the players' brains did not try to fill their empty skulls with wits?" quickly retorted Nell.

"If you were a man, sweet Nelly, I should answer: 'The lords first had fools at court; then supplanted them with players!'"

"And, being a woman, I do answer," replied the irrepressible Nell, "'--and played the fools themselves, my lord!'"

The players tried to smother their feelings; but the retort was too apt, and the greenroom rang with laughter.

Buckingham turned fiercely upon them; but their faces were instantly mummified.

"Gad, I would sooner face the Dutch fleet, Nelly. Up go my hands, fair robber," he said. He had decided to succ.u.mb for the present. In his finger-tips glistened a golden guinea.

Nell eyed the coin dubiously.

"Nay, keep this and your wares too," added his lords.h.i.+p, in hope of peace, as he placed it in her hand.

"Do you think me a beggar?" replied Nell, indignantly. "Take your possessions, every one--every orange." She filled his hands and arms to overflowing with her golden wares.

His lords.h.i.+p winced, but stood subdued.

"What am I to do with them?" he asked, falteringly.

"Eat them; eat them," promptly and forcefully retorted the quondam orange-vender.

"All?" asked his lords.h.i.+p.

"All!" replied her ladys.h.i.+p.

"Damme, I cannot hold a dozen," he exclaimed, aghast.

"A chair! A chair!" cried Nell. "Would your lords.h.i.+p stand at the feast of gold?"

Before Buckingham had time to reflect upon the outrage to his dignity, Nell forced him into a chair, to the great glee of the by-standers, especially of Manager Hart, who chuckled to an actor by his side: "She'll pluck his fine feathers; curse his arrogance."

"Your knees together, my lord! What, have they never united in prayer?"

gleefully laughed Nell as she further humbled his lords.h.i.+p by forcing his knees together to form a lap upon which to pile more oranges.

Buckingham did not relish the scene; but he was clever enough to humour the vixen, both from fear of her tongue and from hope of favours as well as words from her rosy lips.

"They'll unite to hold _thee_, wench," he suggested, with a sickly laugh, as he observed his knees well laden with oranges. "I trow not,"

retorted Nell; "they can scarce hold their own. There!" and she roguishly capped the pyramid which burdened his lords.h.i.+p's knees with the largest in her basket.

"I'll barter these back for my change, sweet Nell," he pleaded.

"What change?" quickly cried the merry imp of Satan.

"I gave you a golden guinea," answered his lords.h.i.+p, woefully.

"I gave you a golden dozen, my lord!" replied Nell, gleefully.

"Oranges, who will have my oranges?"

She was done with Buckingham and had turned about for other prey.

Hart could not allow the opportunity to escape without a shot at his hated lords.h.i.+p.

"Fleeced," he whispered grimly over his lords.h.i.+p's shoulder, with a merry chuckle.

Buckingham rose angrily.

"A plague on the wench and her dealings," he said. His oranges rolled far and wide over the floor of the greenroom.

"You should be proud, my lord, to be robbed by so fair a hand,"

continued Hart, consolingly. "'Tis an honour, I a.s.sure you; we all envy you."

Buckingham did not relish the consolation.

"'Tis an old saw, Master Hart," he replied: "'He laughs best who laughs last.'"

As he spoke, Nell's orange-cry rang out again above the confusion and the fun. She was still at it. Moll was finding vengeance and money, indeed, though she dwelt upon her acc.u.mulating possessions through eyelashes dim with tears.

"It's near your cue, Mistress Nell," cried out the watchful d.i.c.k at the stage-door.

"Six oranges left; see me sell them, Moll," cried the unheeding vender.

"It's near your cue, Mistress Nell!" again shouted the call-boy, in anxious tones.

"Marry, my cue will await my coming, pretty one," laughed Nell.

The boy was not so sure of that. "Oh, don't be late, Mistress Nell," he pleaded. "I'll buy the oranges rather than have you make a stage-wait."

"Dear heart," replied Nell, touched by the lad's solicitude. "Keep your pennies, d.i.c.k, and you and I will have a lark with them some fine day.

Six oranges, left; going--going--" She sprang into the throne-chair, placed one of the smallest feet in England impudently on one of its arms and proceeded to vend her remaining wares from on high, to the huge satisfaction of her admirers.

The situation was growing serious. Nell was not to be trifled with. The actors stood breathless. Hart grew wild as he realized the difficulty and the fact that she was uncontrollable. King and Parliament, he well knew, could not move her from her whimsical purpose, much less the manager of the King's.

"What are you doing, Nell?" he pleaded, wildly. "You will ruin the first night. His Majesty in front, too! Dryden will never forgive us if 'Granada' goes wrong through our fault."

"Heyday! What care I for 'Granada'?" and Nell swung the basket of oranges high in air and calmly awaited bids. "Not a step on the stage till the basket is empty."

It was Buckingham's turn now. "Here's music for our manager," he chuckled. "Our deepest sympathy, friend Hart."

This was more than Hart could bear. The manager of the King's House was forced into profanity. "d.a.m.n your sympathy," exclaimed he; and few would criticise him for it. He apologized as quickly, however, and turned to Nell. "There goes your scene, Nell. I'll buy your oranges, when you come off," he continued to plead, in desperation, scarcely less fearful of offending her than of offending the great Lord Buckingham.