Shadows - Girl In The Shadows Part 6

"What did I do to get you so upset?" I screamed.

"What did you do? I'll tell you what you did.

First chance you get, what do you talk about with Echo? Her math problems? No. English homework?

No. Social studies? No. What then? Boyfriends, kissing, petting, making babies! Her brain is so full of that stuff, she can't concentrate on anything I tell her to do. And she's asking me questions that would embarra.s.s a prost.i.tute!"

"I didn't tell her anything a girl her age shouldn't know, things girls younger than her know,"

"Who told you to tell her anything?"

"Why do you want to keep her so socially innocent and ignorant?" I fired back, my eyes small with accusations. "Why would you want that?"

Instead of answering, he ignored me and continued with his a.s.sault. "And then you show her that... naked doll, a life-size, naked doll with... with pubic hair? How could you do that?" he asked, grimacing. "Did you get some sort of sick pleasure out of watching how she reacted?"

"You don't understand what happened.'"

"Right. I don't understand. At least you're smart enough to realize that. My advice to you is to just pick up and leave. Get into that motor home, drive off. and go live with one of your own relatives, the first ones who'll take you in."

"Oh, you're such a goody-goody, so protective of poor Echo, so worried I would corrupt her, while you go and carve your initials in a heart in that rock with her and get her to think you're going to be her boyfriend."

"Rock?"

"For your information, she showed me how you touched her, too! In places you shouldn't have! I've been thinking about telling Mrs. Westington. only I didn't want to start a whole mess after being here so short a time. If anyone has created unnecessary problems, it's you, not me. Tyler Monahan!"

His face brightened as the blood rushed into his cheeks. "What rock? What sort of touching? What are you talking about?" he demanded, stepping up to me, his chest swelling, his hands on his hips.

I nodded at the pond. "The rock that sticks up on the other side of the pond. She brought me there and showed it to me. After that she showed me how and where you touched her."

He stared at me, his black pearl eyes losing, some of their rage. Then he gazed out at the pond and turned back to me. "You're lying."

"Oh. I'm lying. What are you going to do, claim it's my imagination? Maybe we can't bring Mrs.

Westington out there. but I could tell Trevor to go look if you need it confirmed."

"Show it to me." he said.

"Why, you don't know where it is?"

"For your information. I don't."

I hesitated. Could he be telling the truth or did he just want to get me into that boat? I began to imagine all sorts of things. If I got into that rowboat with him, he might try to drown me.

"Just as I thought." he said at my continued hesitation. He folded his arms under his chest and stood back firmly. "You're making it up. You're sick, as sick as the uncle who had that doll in his motor home."

"No, you're the one who's sick," I said, "I'll prove it, too," I added, and marched down to the dock.

Now he was the one hesitating. "Well, are you coming to see what I know or are you going to run back into the house and tell Mrs. Westington a bunch of lies?"

After a moment, he unfolded his arms and walked down to the dock. I got into the rowboat first.

He looked back at the house and then he got into it.

"I'll row," I said. "I don't want you to strain yourself."

He squeezed his forehead and narrowed his eves as I set out, my eyes fixed firmly on him.

"For your information, not that I care. I didn't realize Echo understood half of what I told her about boys and making babies. I was planning on writing out most of it tonight. She's nearly fifteen years old and she should know a great deal more about her own body and s.e.x and everything, only who is going to teach it to her. Mrs. Westington? I doubt it. You? I don't see any books on health education."

"That's not what I'm here for."

"Yeah," I said. smirking. "That's not what you're here for. Oh. no."

"It isn't and I already told you. I thought she should be in an environment with other g-irls her own age. Not that you couldn't teach her about s.e.x from firsthand experiences. I'm sure."

"Oh, you're so d.a.m.n smug. You think you know everything about everybody."

He didn't respond. He turned away and looked out over the pond.

"What are you trying to do, think of some clever Chinese proverb?"

He started to swell with anger and then he just shook his head.

I rowed hard and quickly, bringing us up beside the rock. Then I reached out, stopped the rowboat, and looked at him. "Here it is. Like you didn't know."

He rose, wobbling a bit, and crossed to where I had indicated on the rock. He studied it a moment and then surprised me by laughing, "What's so funny?" How could he laugh?

"It's pretty easy to figure out that I didn't do this."

"Oh, really? And why is it so easy. Mr. Big Shot?"

'It's easy because it says 'Ty and me.' I don't think I would have written 'Ty and me,' even though you believe I'm too much in love with myself. Also, look at how crudely this heart is drawn. It's not carved so much as scratched. Anyway, why would I put something indelibly into this rock for anyone to see if I was trying to be surrept.i.tious?"

"Sur what?"

"Sneaky, hidden. Pa.s.s a high school equivalency exam," he muttered.

I squeezed my eyebrows together and studied the heart in the rock. Of course he was right about it saying "Ty and me." Why hadn't I realized it?

He sat and folded his hands over his lap. I returned to my seat and for a moment neither of us spoke. The boat rocked gently in the breeze and my pounding heart slowed down, "Look," he said in a much calmer tone of voice.

"what we have here is an adolescent fantasy. It's not uncommon or even unexpected, especially with a girl so isolated. Don't you think I'm aware of all that? I do the best I can. That's why I want to bring her up to a level where she could enter a structured school environment quickly and have more normal experiences."

"That's all I want for her as well," I said.

"It's hardly normal to bring her to that motor home and show her a nude s.e.x doll.'

"It's not a s.e.x doll and I didn't show it to her.

She wanted to go into the motor home to see it and I forgot about my uncle's doll."

"Naked on a bed? That's just so sick. You're uncle must have been so perverted beside being a drunk,"

"He was not! You're so arrogant. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe I don't. but I wonder if you do either. I can only imagine what it was like for you to be living under those circ.u.mstances and traveling about with someone like that."

"Nothing ugly happened!" I cried, and then I really did begin to cry. "He taught me magic tricks and I helped him with his act. He was my only close relative. He loved me and he was alone. too. I had nowhere else to go!"

As inscrutable as Tyler tried to be with me, his face couldn't help but soften with some compa.s.sion.

"Look. I admit I don't know your whole story.

All I know is what I've been told by Mrs. Westington and what Echo described to me earlier. I'm sorry if Fin jumping to too many conclusions, but you're guilty of the same sort of impulsive judgments," he said, nodding at the rock.

I flicked the tears off my cheeks. Then I took a deep breath. This was a big mess. I wasn't here a week and already there was great turmoil. Does it just follow me wherever I go? Will it always?

"Well, what do we do now?" I asked him.

"Declare a truce," he said. "You want me to row us back?"

"No, I can do it," I said, grabbing the oars before he could. He shrugged and then leaned back.

"I don't mind being spoiled." "Very funny."

He looked at me with somewhat more trusting eves. "Did you complete the evaluation exams?"

"Yes."

"I'll pick them up and go over them tonight. I don't give the equivalency exam, you know. You have to schedule that at the public school. I'll help you arrange for it when I think you're ready, if you're ever ready."

"I'll be ready."

"So, if you don't mind telling me, why didn't you remain living with your sister? Even though she's off on tournaments, you could have stayed with her.

She would be considered your legal guardian. I'm sure, and at least you could have remained in school and had something of a normal life."

I continued to row, "Why did you run away to live with your uncle?"

I hesitated to say anything. I continued to row, with him staring at me.

"You don't have to tell me anything." he added in a tone of voice that meant precisely the opposite.

"I couldn't get along with her roommate!" I exclaimed.

"Oh? Why not?"

"She was too demanding."

"Demanding? In what way?"

"In a s.e.xual way, if you have to know." I said.

"And my sister was upset about it. I knew that somehow it would end up being my fault."

"What do you mean exactly? What did she do?"

he asked, his face full of interest and curiosity now.

"I don't want to go into detail, Tyler. She wanted to have s.e.xual relations with me."

"Really? Did she just ask or what?"

"No, she did more than just ask. I said I don't like talking about it. It was very, very disturbing at the time and it's painful to think about it now."

He nodded. thinking. 'Why would your sister be angry at you for something like that? You would think she..."

He thought again and then he nodded softly.

"Oh," he said. "You mean your sister and this other woman were "Yes."

"Man. you did have a screwed up family. A lesbian sister, an uncle in love with a doll, and who knows what else."

"My family wasn't screwed up! Not everyone marches to the same drummer. I'd think you'd understand that, being you're so intelligent."

He shrugged. "What about you? Are you a lesbian?" he asked with as much emotion a doctor might show when he asked if I had an ache in my tar.

"Is that why your sister's lover made a pa.s.s at you?"

"I don't think so," I said, "Just because one person in your family is gay, it doesn't mean you have to be."

"So why do you say you don't think so? Don't you know for sure? Are you attracted more to girls than boys?"

"I'd rather not talk about all that."

"Well, have you had boyfriends?" he pursued.

"It's not really any of your business," I said.

He didn't look angry about my reaction. He just looked pensive, again like some doctor reviewing symptoms. I rowed on, biting down on my lower lip and sucking back my tears. Talking about it only brought back my painful separation from Brenda and the only family I knew, "How did your parents die? An accident?"

"No, my father had an inoperable brain tumor and my mother fell into a deep depression and overdosed on sleeping pills."

"Wow. I guess Mrs. Westington was right. You have been dragged over the coals."

"I'm not looking for any sympathy," I said. I wanted to add "especially from you," but I held that back.

"That's good. Old Chinese proverb say 'He who feels sorry for himself can demand an apology from no one.' "