Jennifer Government Part 10

20 Hack

Hack woke to Violet moving about the bedroom, gathering clothes. He sat up, rubbing his face. "What..."

"I have to do my software demo." She was pulling on a short black skirt; already wearing a cream s.h.i.+rt. "You knew this, Hack."

Hack did know that. "But...aren't we going to the Police? Or the Government?"

She blew air through her teeth. "You packed me one one pair of underpants. And" She shook her head. "I don't have time to go to the Government. You go." pair of underpants. And" She shook her head. "I don't have time to go to the Government. You go."

He bit his lip. "You sure you don't want to come? Since, I mean, you killed that guy..."

"You want me to defend myself against a murder charge with two hundred dollars?"

"But it was self-defense. It doesn't matter how much money"

"Don't be naive," Violet said. "Look, if my demo goes well, I'll have money. Then I can talk to the Government."

"I guess," Hack said. "Okay."

She hefted her laptop. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck. Andbe careful, okay?"

"I will," she said. "Don't wake my sister."

Hack padded out to the kitchen in his dressing gown and made a bowl of cereal. He couldn't find the sugar, so added some strange, unbranded honey. He sat at the dining table and tried to eat quietly.

Violet's sister had a lot of books. They filled three bookcases, with bizarre t.i.tles like An Equal Society An Equal Society and and Socialist Thought. Socialist Thought. Hack wondered what they were about. Hack wondered what they were about.

At ten o'clock he caught a cab downtown to the Government office, which was a couple of floors in a dingy building that looked as if it hadn't been cleaned since 1980. The lobby was huge, though, and crawling with people in scruffy-looking suits who Hack could only a.s.sume were Government agents. He felt them looking at him as he walked up to reception, and started sweating. This wasn't like the Police, with magazines and nice-looking women dressed in cop uniforms.

The agent behind the desk was doing something to his computer. Hack waited patiently. After a while, he cleared his throat.

"Just a second," the agent said.

"Sorry." He waited.

"All right." The agent looked him up and down. "Who are you here to see?"

"Um, I don't know. I'm here because II mean my girlfriendmight have killed someone."

"You don't have an appointment?"

"No," Hack said. "See, there's this body in my kitchen"

"You're meant to call first," the agent said. "To set up an appointment. We can't drop everything just because you walk in."

"Oh. Sorry."

The agent poked at his computer a bit more. Hack wondered if he should clear his throat again. The agent said, "You sure this guy's dead?"

"My girlfriend said she thought he was."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yep. She wasn't sure but"

"Why didn't she she make an appointment?" make an appointment?"

"Uh," Hack said, "I don't know. I just wanted to report"

"Yeah, okay, look," the agent said. "Take a seat. I'll try to find someone to talk to you about your alleged dead body."

"Maybe I should come back later," Hack said.

"Just sit down," the agent said.

He sat on a hard wooden bench for fifty minutes. Then an agent came out and spoke to the desk guy. The desk guy gestured at Hack, and the other agent came over, scratching his stubble. "Hack Nike?"

"Yes."

"You found a dead body somewhere?"

"Um, not exactly," Hack said. "What happened was"

"Yeah, okay. Come with me." The agent led Hack down a lot of corridors and into a room that had a table and two chairs and that was it. The walls were gla.s.s, and Hack could see agents in other offices moving around, glancing in at him. "You want a coffee?"

"No thanks."

"Well, I need one. Hold tight." He left. Hack jiggled his leg, nervous. There were two agents in an office across the corridor, and one of them had a weird smudge underneath her left eye, like a rectangular bruise. No: a tattoo, a barcode tattoo. That was strange, Hack thought. The Government was meant to be against all that consumer stuff.

"Okay," the agent said, entering. "So about this body." He yawned.

"Well, he attacked my girlfriend," Hack said. "I was out and he...he tried to a.s.sault my girlfriend. She defended herself and hit him with a crumpet toaster. She thinks she killed him."

"A crumpet toaster?"

"Yep."

"What is that?"

"It's...you know, like an electric toaster. You cook crumpets in it. It's better than broiling them."

"Huh," the agent said. "Can you do bagels in that?"

"Um, no," Hack said. "Bagels don't fit in the slots. But you can get bagel toasters, I think."

"How about that," the agent said. "I had no idea."

"So, anyway," Hack said. The barcode agent and her partner were in the corridor, now, speaking to someone. The woman looked up and met Hack's eyes. He looked away quickly. "It was self-defense and everything, but I thought I should report it...just in case."

The agent rubbed his face. "Hack, this is something your girlfriend will have to sort out with the deceased's lawyers. Contact them, negotiate some sort of compensation. It's not a Government matter unless you can't come to an agreement."

"Oh," Hack said, relieved. "Okay, sure, I can do that."

The door opened. The woman with the barcode tattoo and her partner were in the doorway. "Hack Nike?" the woman said.

He started. "Yes."

"What's up, Jen?" the agent said.

"Out," she said. "Now." Her eyes were fixed on Hack. Hack realized: it had happened. He had made another big mistake.

The first agent left and then n.o.body spoke. The woman sat across the table from him and her partner stood against the wall, his arms folded. Finally, Hack said, "I just came in to report"

"Hack Nike, I'm Jennifer Government, Field Agent. This is Calvin Government, Field Agent. We have information that you're responsible for the illegal initiation of deadly force against up to fourteen persons at various Nike Town stores. Do you understand?"

"Ag," Hack said. He felt his throat closing. "No, no"

"Yes, yes," Jennifer said. "You arranged for the NRA to shoot a bunch of kids who'd bought Nike Mercurys. Some kind of promotion, right? Get out with your shoes alive and win a trip for two?"

He felt faint. "Wait, I...I want to call my girlfriend."

"She a lawyer, Hack?" Calvin said.

"No, she's..." He couldn't make himself say unemployed. unemployed. "She'll know what to do." "She'll know what to do."

"Sorry," Calvin said. "No girlfriends."

"Oh, and we're recording you," Jennifer said. "The first guy told you that, right?"

"Let me save you some time," Calvin said. "We know you're a Merchandising Officer. We know you're eager for promotion."

"It sounded like a great idea at the time, right?" Jennifer said. "Kill a few kids, make a few bucks, back slaps all round at the office."

"And a bonus in your next paycheckmaybe tied to sales growth? Ten thousand, fifty thousand dollars? More?"

"Plus a promotion, of course. You get out of Merc work, into the creative stuff. White-collar gutter jobs are so repet.i.tive, aren't they, Hack? After a while you go nuts nuts"

"Stop! It wasn't my idea! I just did what they told me!"

"Who?" she said, leaning forward. "Who, Hack?"

"There were two of themthey made me"

"Who?"

He swallowed. "I don't think I should tell you."

Jennifer leaned back. She looked at Calvin.

"They could kill me," Hack whispered. "If I tell you."

"Aw, we'll take care of you," Calvin said. "Don't worry about that."

"You're going to have to tell us who they are, Hack," Jennifer said.

"I can't! Theythey made me sign a contract without reading it."

"Made you? They used force?"

Hack was silent.

"No," she said. "No force. So you voluntarily signed a contract without reading it."

"I know that was a mistake"

"A mistake," Jennifer said, disgusted. "You dumb s.h.i.+t, why do you think anybody wants you to sign a contract without reading it? Because it's bad, bad, Hack, it's a bad contract." Hack, it's a bad contract."

"We're going to need a copy of that," Calvin said.

Hack dropped his eyes. "I don't have one."

Silence. When he looked up, they were staring at him.

"You don't understand. understand. They offered me a They offered me a job, job, a job in Marketing." He stopped, choked up. a job in Marketing." He stopped, choked up.

"Hack," Jennifer said, leaning forward. "It's time for you to make a decision. You can either help us go after the people responsible for the Nike slayings"

"Which will expose you to whatever penalties are in that contract," Calvin said. "And I'm guessing they're not that you have to bring the cups to the next company picnic, if you know what I mean."

"Or you can keep your mouth shut," Jennifer said. "Which will expose you to us us."

"I'd hate to land fourteen counts of deadly force against someone who didn't deserve it, I really would. That's" He looked at Jennifer. "Pretty much life, right?"

"For sure. And the financial penaltieswell, maybe you can negotiate to pay them off at ten cents on the dollar, something like that. Plenty of crims do that. If you work hard, you can clear your debt in twenty, thirty years."

"I don't know, Jen," Calvin said. "Prison housing prices have really jumped lately. Some of these places, you do fifteen years' labor and come out owing them for food and board."

"I guess in your case it would be academic anyway," Jennifer said to Hack. "Since you wouldn't ever get out." She leaned forward. "Think about it, Hack. A guy like you, reasonable skills, employablesuddenly you're laying tar in Utah for the rest of your life. And you know the safety record of prison workers. Only last month, those eight guys inwhere was it?"